Mandy's Mumblings and Musings

Relationships: The Pullback

You are with Mr. or Ms. Wonderful. Things are running along great! You can't imagine spending your life with anyone else. You are best friends, lovers, two peas in a pod. Then, all of a sudden, after an amazing time together, that person seems less interested in your relationship. You start to panic: Was it me? What did I do? Is he/she not interested? Should I call to figure this out? Should I go over there and demand answers? The answer: NO! You are just experiencing a natural and healthy relationship progression that I call "The Pullback".

So, what is a pullback? It's the time when your relationship has been nourished enough to flourish to the next level. This is a time when Spirit pulls you back to focus on you, your life, your career, your health and so on... The focus here is on YOU. So many people fight this natural progression, not realizing the blessing of the pullback.

We cannot constantly be forging ahead all the time. In energy, those stagnant moments are necessary in order to allow for transitions. Without those transitions, people would not experience personal growth and/or a new phase in the relationship. No amount of crying, begging, chasing, kicking or screaming will prevent the pullback from happening. Of course it feels good to be close. However, it is not healthy to be glued at the hip 100% of the time to anyone. This is especially true in the energetic world.

The best (and most disgusting) visual I ever received was a woman who was vomiting on her boyfriend. He had pulled back after an increasingly loving time together. As she asked me questions about him, each question showed him covered in more vomit. It got to the point that during the reading he was choking on her vomit. Yes, a grotesque visual, but it illustrates a valid point: When the other person pullbacks, let it happen! Don't be the suffocating partner. Would you like to be the one covered in vomit? I doubt it.

So, when does a pullback happen? Keep in mind, this is in a committed relationship:
1.) After a period of increased intimacy.
2.) When one or both partners needs to evaluate the next step of the relationship.
3.) When one or both partners is undergoing stress or major life decision.
4.) When too much energy has been passed to the other partner through thoughts, memories, feelings, dwelling...
5.) When one or both partners is experiencing a personal transition in energy.

This brings me to the point of what a pullback is not:
1.) The person you were dating that just stopped calling and won't return your calls.
2.) The unavailable (married, in a relationship) person who is devoting time to their actual committed life partner.
3.) The committed partner that poofs for weeks or months at a time. The disappearing act is NOT acceptable in a committed relationship.
4.) The guy or girl you had a one night stand with that never calls again.
5.) A nagging feeling that this relationship is over. If you are unhappy, only you can change that by walking away from the situation.

Pullbacks are a break in the usual pattern, so it causes a lot of concern. However, trust that this phase is happening for a reason. You wouldn't experience it if it wasn't necessary and most importantly, if you weren't ready. Try to see it as a positive. With every pullback follows a step forward on YOUR path. Don't read into it. Don't chase your partner. Don't dwell on the negative. Just let it all go. Let him/her pullback and have the grace to pullback into your life as well. Soon enough the reason for the pullback will be revealed and you will be grateful you didn't spend days or weeks energetically vomiting on your partner. :)

What is happiness? What is love?

I was talking to another psychic friend last night regarding the topic of positive emotions: love, happiness, joy, peace... Where do these come from? Often I get emails from clients, and even casual emails from friends and family, with the same formula: "________ happened. I am so happy." I always giggle because I want to ask, "Well what were you before you got that news and/or that even happened?"

We are conditioned to believe that what we seek--love, happiness and acceptance--comes from without. No, this is not the case. Think back to when you were a child. Did you wake up everyday holding out hope for that dream career? Did you fixate on getting your ex boyfriend back? Somewhere along the line we are programmed to seek outside sources to gain what we truly can ourselves. We all have the special talent to feel happy and loved even when our external circumstances are less than ideal. Isn't it great we were given such an amazing birthright?

The truth is, love and happiness exist whether you see them or not. You have the power to grasp them at any given moment. This is your choice. You can either hold out for something to happen to make you feel great or you can take steps towards feeling peaceful with your given circumstances, even happy with those circumstances, without the desired outcome. You can come to a place of happiness, feeling loved and accepted, no matter what.

Is there a magic bullet to get into this state? Not exactly. It takes work and for some of us, it will take a lot of work:

Step 1.) Acknowledge the reality and the accountability with the given circumstance. Once you own your feelings, your fault and/or your role in the current position, you move out of helpless victim-hood and into a place of personal power.

Step 2.) Forgive yourself and others for what has happened and let that old story go with love and gratitude. Have a letting go ceremony if you need to for that old story. Stop convincing yourself that you won't be happy until _____ happens. Stop telling yourself that you are not loved until you have a romantic relationship. Take control and change your thoughts to a different radio station. Better yet, figure out where that old stinky belief came from and find forgiveness for yourself, others and/or the circumstance that implanted it.

Step 3.) Do not dwell on the past. More importantly, do not dwell on the need for your current circumstances to change. There isn't anything wrong with having desires, but we are breaking the addiction to needing outside "wants" to fulfill us and give us happiness. In order to do so, focus on the present situation and find what you are grateful for: friends? TV? pet? beautiful weather? physical health? career? Focus on what you have and come to a place of peace with your present life, even if this means you have only one thing to focus on. Small steps still result in progress!

Step 4.) Create a new story where you are the star. Pay attention to your hopes, dreams and desires for yourself. Find comfort, even when things seem to be stagnant or tumbling down around you. When old thought patterns arise, trust there is a reason things have happened and let it go.This can be the tricky part because we want to circle back to wanting for the sake of filling a place of lack. Do not go there. Only you can plug those holes.

Step 5.)  Be happy! Tell yourself, "No matter what is going on around me, I am happy and I am loved." Use positive affirmations to keep yourself from going down the doom and gloom road. Use positive emotions as fuel for the manifesting process. Even by saying, "I am happy" or "I am loved" you are attracting these types of feelings. Start using those emotions to manifest for an area outside of what you are invested in: manifest new friends, a new hobby, a cup of coffee, a free desert, a spa day... As you attract positive experiences and emotions related to other areas of your life, you will begin to see how silly it is to look to a new job, a reunion with your ex or a new lover for fulfillment.

It just takes time, dedication and practice to not rely on a particular outcome as the source of love and happiness. Always remember that love and happiness, those vibrations, exist all over the Universe and they are free to grasp at any given moment. It's your birthright.

Making the most of your psychic reading

I've been grateful to find time to come back to doing psychic readings in my spare time, especially when the feeling strikes. However, I have received many clients who are looking for the quick-fix, instant gratification answer. I want to note right now that although your questions can certainly be answered and predictions, given the current energy, can be made in a few minutes, a quality reading is hard to give during that time. Why? Because a quality reading isn't just about what the energy says right now, it's about assisting the client on his/her path for the highest good--whether that's providing guidance in how to let go or teaching a client techniques in attracting what he/she desires in to his/her reality. The answers to the questions are really, just the baking pan. It's when a client is give these extra ingredients that he/she can make a cake and ultimately, put the cherry on top.

I actually get very irritated when people come to me, expecting a reading in under 5 minutes time:

**First, it creates this misconception that we are powerless and everything is set in stone. The prediction I give you is all that will happen, so if it's not what you want then you better give up hope. No, this is not the case. Free will changes everything and you DO have the power to work with God, the Universe or Spirit in creating your life. Pray it out, make lists... It's easy to be lazy and rely on a prediction. Work is the only thing rewarded in this life.

**Second, it can be difficult for the reader to access everything you want to hear during that time. Sometimes I channel and the more important messages aren't even what you want to hear about. Spirit isn't Burger King, serving it up YOUR way. Sometimes the messages are more important and greater than "Will he come back?". Consider this.

**Lastly, we have this desire for instant gratification. If you hear what you want, oh goody! You got what you wanted. Yes, it's exciting when good things happen. However, what I have learned is that nothing is rewarded more than hard work. After a series of "oh goodies" you may begin to wonder, "Why is all this bad stuff happening?" but you never make time to do your work to turn it around. The result is blaming others, even God and the Universe, for the hardships.

Psychic readings can be fun, but an ethical reader will not keep you hooked. He/She will keep you moving forward on your path. I used to get readings about once/month. Then, I learned techniques to attract what I wanted into my life. I also learned to be accountable, let go, stop dwelling, live in the present and have faith. I have had a few readings in the past year, which focused on me: "What can I do?" "Why do I feel this way" "What am I attracting?" I still receive energy cleansings to assist in understanding the core beliefs (blocks) I have which prevent me from maximizing my own potential. Also, I have learned that the less readings I get from others, the more heightened my intuition is for myself. I feel the same happens for clients--we're all human, right? It takes time and work to access that intuition, but once you get it, it's a gold mine!

To make the most of your reading, epecially a reading with me:
1.) Have clear direct and specific questions. General questions just bring a ton of information, not allowing me to tell you exactly what you are asking.
2.) Be calm and do not be under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
3.) Be open to the messages you receive. They might not make sense, so ask for clarification. If I get clarification, I will tell you. The truth is, we are not always meant to know everything and often readings make sense after the fact.
4.) Ask, "Can this outcome change?" and ask "How?".
5.) Do not psychic surf. Asking Spirit the same question over and over again can, and most likely, will result in mixed messages. Part of having faith is letting go.
6.) Let the reading go: Do not focus on the who, when and how. Holding onto predictions creates resistance and this resistance can either prolong an outcome or diminish the liklihood of the outcome.
7.) If you've had a reading in the past 24-48 hours, do not contact me. Our energies interact all the time. It's best to give your energy time to regroup and reground before seeking a reading.
8.) Interupt if the reading isn't going in the direction you want. Speak up!  I channel and have a tendency to interupt the client. Interupt me back. I do not mind.
9.) Focus the reading on you. I will always look at other people involved but I prefer to focus the reading on the client.
10.) Do not expect to get a quality reading from me in under 5 minutes.

The Road Less Traveled: Reacting with Love and Compassion

When we are hurt by another, it's easy to be petty. Why not give that person a taste of his/her own medicine? Why not punish that person for what he/she has done? Why do you even owe them your forgiveness and compassion? They hurt you! You are the victim in all of this! Right? WRONG! Children throw tantrums, adults seek to find personal resolution and Spirit, most importantly, learns the lesson from the experience while finding both forgiveness and compassion for the other party.

I had a recent event with my current boyfriend that could have turned ugly had I not remained grounded in the moment, listened to my intuition and came from an open-hearted perspective. Instead of using my fears, I chose to use Spirit to guide me through the process. Because I feel it's important to understand that I am only human, I want to share this experience with you:

I found out recently that my boyfriend had been engaging in sexual flirting with a woman whom he dated before me. They were never serious. In fact, when he and I were just friends I remember them having the "There is no future" conversation over and over again. He wanted to be friends with her and I was supportive, although her actions and  my spidey senses told me she wanted more. In the past few months the friendship had crossed the line from friends to engaging in flirtation related to their sexual past. He had been hiding this activity from me, deleting the conversations (both online and texting). I was given the opportunity to confront the situation--she had texted him when we were out--and he admitted to it. Of course I was angry. I was hurt! However, I didnt let that feeling overwhelm me. Instead, I took two steps back, a deep breath and centered myself. I distanced myself from the physical situation and asked for help, specifically what to do. Do I ignore him? Do I call him a bastard? Do I break things off? Do I scream at him? In that moment, as I sat in silence, I knew that I needed to talk to him. I could not let this fester another moment. It wasn't about me seeking an apology. It was about me honoring his Spirit enough to give him the opportunity to say his peace. I felt compassion for him--people who are feeling good about themselves dont' engage in these type of behaviors. Albeit not an excuse but it helped me to find a place where I could empathize with that part of him.

As we spoke, the conversation focused on us--were we going to make this work and  how-- rather than what he did wrong. I took the blame game out of the equation. I lived in the moment, listening to him as he explained himself and how he planned to rectify things. I only raised my voice a few times to let him know I was angry, that this behavior was unacceptable and that it would not be tolerated in the future. I didn't let my emotions or my fears wrap me up in a knot so tight I couldn't feel my gut. No, I kept those spidey senses on and observed the situation, only responding from a place of compassion. My heart was open the whole time. The heart is needed most in these types of situations.

At the end of it all, we came out stronger. I never doubted for a second, when listening to my higher self, that he would engage in this type of behavior again. I could see that he was only human, that humans make mistakes and that he was truly sorry for this. One apology was enough (although I am hearing it more than that). I stood my ground, listened to my intuition and the result was stepping over a hurdle that could have destroyed our relationship. Additonally, after he had been betrayed so many times by his ex girlfriend, he was able to find compassion for her by understanding how easy people can make these mistakes even though they love the other person. Everything came full cirlce for the both of us--him with respect to his issues with cheating and me in respect to acting from a place of love rather than fear.

I am not writing this to advocate cheating. Of course this behavior will not be tolerated in the future. The reality is: People make mistakes and peolple will hurt us. When we react from a loving, centered, grounded and compassionate place, we gain the greatest resolution. Spirit lives in the present, always advocating for our highest good. You will know what your truth is regarding the person and/or situation. Whether we decide to remain in contact with that person or not is our choice, but either way, we need to let go with love. Love heals.

Schedule Update

After spending my summer months traveling and writing, I am winding back down into a routine.

You can find me here:
Sun, Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs evenings: 8-11pm CST

Fri, Sat and daytime: Please make an appointment

I may log in earlier and/or stay on later than the time allotted above depending on my energy level. I will do my best to be available for appointments.

I look forward to getting back into the swing of things! I've missed doing this work on a regular basis. I've experienced a lot of growth over the summer and trust it will assist in better serving others on their paths. :)

Love is a Battlefield...or is it?

Pat Benetar is one of my favorite musical artists. I often have her music on my iPod playlist when I work out. Yesterday, this song really struck a cord (hehe).  Many believe love and all it entails has to be difficult. Is that true?

The media, especially soap operas, portray love as something that is not worth having unless:
** You work really hard for it.
**You go through dramatic ups and downs together.
** You give up your sense of self and completely entangle with another.
and I couldn't forget...for all you daytime Soap Opera fans...
**The person dies and comes back to life so you have to divorce your current spouse for that once-in-a-lifetime-soulmate-thingy-type-love.

In all seriousness, I used to think that love was not worth having unless it was difficult to obtain..and even more difficult to keep. My how much I have grown! My last relationship fell together easily, but making it work was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Heck! I have a B.S. in Chemistry and have almost completed my PhD in Biochemistry and I still believe that making that 6+ on-and-off relationship work was FAR more difficult. Why? It just wasn't meant to be at that time. Or was it?

When it comes to love relationships, there are two roads I see during my work:
1.) The road of a partner in alignment--good compatibility, vibrationally equivalent, similar life goals, great timing.....
2.) The road of a partner that will whip you into shape!

I don't feel one road is greater than the next. We live and learn and relationships, as perfect mirrors to our work and growth, show up what we need to do to transcend to a higher vibrational level. This doesn't mean you need to be with another to do the work, just that work will be required to obtain that peace of mind, sense of boundaries and love of self that is required to attract an equivalent partner. Often love relationships are the catalyst to our growth. I know for myself, my crazy-making relationship was one that taught me how to set boundaries and the ending of that relationship allowed me to fall in love with myself again and work on my underlieing trust and self-esteem issues. I did that work alone. I got clear about what I wanted in a partner and relationship, made a list and when the timing was right (oh! that blasted timing) that person and that type of relationshp walked into my life. It's such a dichotomy to my past relationship. It's almost what I wanted, but more importantly, it's just what I needed! The Universe provided because I did the work, truly let go and had faith.

I want to comment on the topic of soul connections because I do believe they exist and are quite profound. These are connections that ALWAYS serve to whip us into shape. Often we experience this with a lover, but a friend, coworker, teacher, aquaintance, etc can all serve this function. Someone that sets us on our path of growth and gently (or forcefully) pushes up forward is someone with which our soul has a connection. Some people like to romanticize this connection. Some people like to seek and understand the meaning because this is how they feel Spirit will evolve best through them. I personally have nothing wrong with what that belief. However, it's my belief that I'd much rather try to create or manifest a situation, event or person than sit and wait for the lessons to appear. It's not to say you will always get what you manifest, but you will always get what you need. It's about faith, really. You'll understand the "hows" and the "whys" when you are meant to. You just need to give it up to God and believe!

How do you bring about a lover and/or relationship that doesn't drive you to the battlefield?
1.) Make a list of the type of person and relationship you desire. Get creative, but don't be superficial. There's more to a beautiful person than 6-pack abs or a petite frame. What is truly important to you? Marraige? Children? Life goals? Hobbies?

2.) Work on yourself. What are your underlieing issues? What type of beliefs stand in the way of receiving and giving love? What do you need to let go of? What do you need to grieve? There are many books out there to help you work through issues created in past relationships and your childhood. These are blocks to manifesting and you will remove them with this type of work. Seek therapy if you need to or the assistant of a spiritual advisor or friend.

3.) Create the type of life you desire. If you want to kickbox, do it! If you want to learn to paint, do it! This tells the Universe you are living life and you will learn to love yourself, which will ultimately attract others like a bee to honey. Remember, this is the life you'll have when you are with a partner. Take yourself out on a Saturday night--that's date night!

4.) Determine your boundaries. Do you lose yourself in a relationship? Do you give up sex before exclusivity? Do you play the role of the ice queen? Are you the drama queen? Are you too open or too closed off? Get clear and then figure out what you can do to change any flimsy or steel walled boundaries. This all goes back to doing your work and understanding your belief system. Make sure you understand what a healthy boundary is--it's set up with a clear and open heart, out of love for your self and not obligation.

5.) Remain positive and faithful. The greatest thing I ever did was to just give everything up to God. If something was one my mind, I'd say, "I don't know now but I'll know when I'm supposed to. Here, God, you take it." The aha-moments will come and with it, you'll understand the lessons. Heck, I even believe you can understand the lesson without going through the motions if you remain faithful and make time for self-reflection through journaling, creative ventures, relaxing or meditation.

So love really doesn't have to be a wretched, heart-convulsing experience. When you do your work, focus on your life and your dreams, and make attempts to let go and let God, that person WILL walk into your life and I can guarantee it will feel less soap opera and more easy breezy Sunday afternoon.

Love Lessons: Why is this so easy?

I started dating awhile back and have moved into an exclusive relationship. A few years ago, I was head over heels for a guy that did nothing but assist in the creation of crazy making in my life. I loved him, but he was not the right person for me. We struggled, fought, brought out the worst in one another. That life seems so distant now--like a different lifetime.

Flash forward to today with my current boyfriend: Because I was caught up in a drug-addict-like relationship for so many years, I caught myself asking the question, "Why is this so easy?" over and over and over again... Each step along the way never made me feel uncomfortable. I never doubted his interest. I always knew he was on the same page as me. When things didn't go according to my Aquarian driven idealized plan, I still did not doubt the progress. After careful examination, I realized why: When a man is interested in you and the timing is right for both of you, you know it. Additionally, when your life is so fulfilling and complete, you don't need to worry about filling it with another person. The man is just the icing on the cake. You trust no matter what happens, you will truly be okay. If this man isn't the right one, the Universe will provide another. The questions, the worrying, the internal struggle melts away... I couldn't believe how easy this was!

The interested man--who is he? Well, he's the guy that will call you, be attentive, make plans to see you and he'll do his best to fit into your already fulfilling world. The key here is that you have a life outside of him and if he's interested, nothing will stop him from making plans to fit into your schedule. Don't be unrealistic about this and expect him to jump like an animal through hoops. If you have an opening, accept. If you don't feel well or have other plans, decline, be polite and suggest another time. He'll come around if he's worth your time. If he's not worth your time, he will fade away.

This brings me to the topic of timing. Gah! So many times we are ready and the other person is not. This is a situation that one should not take personally. We all have our own lives, our own processes and it's difficult to pin point what is going on in another person's world. My suggestion: If you catch yourself moving into predictive behavior, "I wonder what he/she's thinking?", tell yourself, "I cannot possibly know what is going on with that person. I am going to assume it has nothing to do with me unless I am told otherwise." This phrase has been a God-send for me. The truth is: Sometimes you want a relationship and the other person isn't there yet--either because he/she needs to heal from the past, he/she needs to find a job, he/she needs to move.... NOTHING to do with you! If the timing is right, you will know it. Things will flow at a pace which is mostly comfortable for you. You need to do what is best for you. I'd never advise waiting. Always keep your options open because at the most interesting moment, the Universe might offer up just what you have been looking for...but you have to be open to receiving it!

Finally, how fulfilling is your world? Do you need another person to fill it up? Or is it already boiling over at the brim? A busy life guarantees two things: 1.) That you are capable of keeping yourself happy and content during those "down" moments in dating and during a relationship and 2.) That if you should find yourself single again, your life will not lack love. You will have love for yourself. People are naturally attracted to those who have a great relationship with self. This is where it begins. Your energy is invested in you, not dwelling on what another is thinking/doing/feeling. Once you come to this place of peace, there are very few questions to ask. You just know.

So, does this mean I fell into a relationship with absolute ease? Heck no! I'm human. Even with the ease and comfort of his interest, the timing and the pace, I still fell into the old patterns of worrying. The key is this: Before reacting to those emotions and the fear, ask yourself if it has anything to do with the current reality of the situation. 99% of it has NOTHING to do with the present tense. It's all old stinky feelings from the past finding their way to the surface to be stripped away. This is probably the most difficult part of the process: dealing with the leftovers and recognizing it is OLD news.

For me, I have issues with jealousy from past infidelity, issues with being vulnerable because I feel I am not loveable from abandonment issues and issues with being rejected... All of these things were brought to the surface in my current relationship. I feel many others can relate to this. So many times we react from this place from the past and then want to kick ourselves when we realize we overreacted heavily to a current situation. My process was to stop, take a deep breath and ask myself, "What is going on right now? How am I feeling right now?" It's amazing how the past can haunt you--but only if you let it.

I've learned a lot of things during the short duration of my current relationship: What an interested man looks like, how important timing is, the importance of maintaining a healthy and loving relationship with self and that old issues will always be drug up to the surface so that we can work through them. I thought I was out of the "working" phase and boy was I wrong! Our work is never done.

Looking forward to where this journey leads me....

Changes in service

Although I have thoroughly enjoyed my time doing predictions and traditional psychic readings, I have been called for a greater purpose. I can't deny it and the pull is intense so I am shifting my career focus. Through readings I have realized I am gifted in sensing, seeing and channeling how and why people have gotten themselves "stuck" and what they need to do to move forward on their journey. This is my purpose, so I will be saying "adios" to a majority of the style of readings I have done in the past here on Keen. Of course I will not be saying "adios" to old clients and hope that I can assist them on their journey. If this does not resonate with them, then I am happy to make a referral to an ethical, honest and trusted advisor.

This wasn't an easy decision but I feel more in alignment with my true self after making the switch. I have faith the universe will bring clients who would love this type of service. 

Many blessings to you all!

Who is to blame?

When things don't work out the way we planned, we are more than willing to shake our fingers at someone...ANYONE....and say, "IT WAS YOU!!!!!!"  Have you ever thought that you should turn that finger around back on your self? We are the only ones in this world that have any control over our lives and our actions. Sure, things do happen that effect our lives that are outside of our control, but does that mean we need to give it extra special attention? Do we need to find something or someone to blame?

Blame, like guilt, is just a waste of time and energy. Do you honestly get any closer to peace by putting it all on another person--or even yourself, God or the universe? The truth is, each time we point our fingers at another, the universe will greet us with someone pointing his finger back at us. Do you feel any better putting the blame on yourself? What good does it do?

I'm guilty of this: Feeling either myself or another person had everything to do with a particular outcome and dwelling on the woulda, shoulda, coulda... I didn't want to see my role, only that someone was to blame. That vicious cycle always ended up the same: After about a week of engaging in that, I was tired, felt isolated and hated myself. The only things I was attracting into my life was negativity, sadness, fatigue, depression, anxiety and restlessness. Feeling that crappy will always attract more crap.

So what should we do with the part of us that wants to blame? For starters, it exists so don't ignore it but definitely tame it. Tell it, "Hey, I get your feeling this way, but guess what? I'm running this show and I am not going to blame anyone!" Often that side of us just needs acknowledgment.  After acknowledging the blame-beast, be accountable for whatever part you have played in the outcome. Be honest about it. If you said something to instigate a fight, you did. If you never called that person, you didn't. If you were always late to work, you were. Don't spend too much time thinking about it and don't beat yourself up over it. It's in the past. Realize that nobody was standing above you pulling on those puppet strings. It's about learning from those situations. Which leads me to the next point--leave the other person or people and God out of the equation. Even if another person created a situation that is on them NOT you. Don't feel guilty, don't place blame. That person needs to deal with his/her own accountability, not you.  You need to deal with your own--the good, the bad and even the ugly.

The best remedy I know for finger pointing is to find compassion for the other person, even if that person is yourself. Life can be rough and bumpy at times, but we are all in this together. Life happens to all of us. Make peace with yourself, your situation and you'll begin to attract the "like" into your life. Love, happiness, harmony and abundance.

Wisdom from a Tibetan Buddhist Mandala

I had the privilege to watch the construction of a Tibetan Buddhist mandala this past weekend. It was so fascinating! My brother and his friend asked me, "Do you think you could spend 9 hours a day doing nothing but THAT???? I can't even sit still for 10 minutes!"  I know this isn't the first time someone has uttered that phrase and it certainly won't be the last.

I'm a huge advocate of meditation, in any form. I believe it's the one saving grace when the world feels like it's collapsing around you.   Not only does meditation take care of your physical health, it also serves to care for your energetic body. As an empath, I am particularly prone to "dirty sponge syndrome" and those moments of complete and utter present time mindfulness are what keep me from sucking up all the energy around me. Meditation also serves as the release of excessive energy buildup. Honestly, I used to be such a ridiculous dirty sponge that I am surprised I even functioned. I'd cry for no reason. I'd become unglued and unhinged from the tiniest incident. I was angry...but why? I didn't know.  Even for people who are not highly empathic--and we're all empathic to a certain degress--meditation allows you to connect with source and allows you to connect to "us". 

So many believe meditation follows this formula: you need to sit quietly in a room and force yourself to be absent of thought. This is not the case. First, if you are trying to force the absent of thought, you're still thinking.  Coming into that state of "just being" happens naturally and it's a process. Second, I want to add that you can meditate while engaging in an activity. Yes! It's possible....and my favorite form of mediation.  You see, meditation is really about bringing yourself into the NOW.  I love to take a walk and pay attention to buildings, animals and the scenery around me. If that does'nt shut up the mind chatter, I will trace the outlines of objects with my eyes.  That always works!  Active meditation can even occur through spending time with a pet, folding the laundry, cleaning your place, grocery shopping.  The key is to do something you love that brings you into the moment.  Focus on what you are doing right now. Spirit LOVES the moment.  This is where he/she lives!

As I watched the monks work on the mandala, it was apparent to me that nothing was thought out and everything flowed. Through continued connection with source, these men knew without hesitation what their next move should be. I feel the same way about all of us. The more we connect to source, the more fluid our lives become.  We make decisions because we know. We connect to everyone, the Spirit in all of us, and see the world as unified. The world certainly takes on a different shape....one of love.

Battling a Bathroom Clog: A Lesson in Resistance

In corner one: Me....
In corner two: Bathroom drain clog....

I am incredibly stubborn and spent about 3 hours yesterday battling a bathroom clog. For anyone that knows me personally, when I set my focus to something, I get it. Sometimes that means: No ifs, no ands and no buts... Especially if I have an idea of how, when and what.... Screw the universe, God and whatever is in my highest good. I am GETTING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

I heard myself over and over again: "I'm gonna use this liquid stuff and you'll go away". When that didn't work, I tried another bottle. I got out the plunger, covered the overflow in the sink and plunged for nearly 2 hours straight. The whole time I heard myself: "This is how it will get unclogged. I am not going to stop until this clog is gone even if I have to be here until tomorrow morning and get under there and do this myself." I plunged away until I was exhausted, sweaty and my cabinet under my sink began to fill with water from excess leaks underneath. Gah! What a mess! I finally took a deep breath and realized that I needed to stop resisting!

I laughed at the message. Learning to let go of resistance was one of the hardest lessons I have learned. I still struggle with it. Although not as much as I used to--Thank God! The problem with resistance is rather than letting go and having faith that the universe will bring you what is in your highest good, you treat God like a waitress/waiter at a diner:
*"I want my ex boyfriend/ex girlfriend to come back. I want him/her to feel sorry for what he did and this better happen before Christmas. Oh, and if you could bring that with a side of money, that would be great!"
*"I can't stand working in a small town. I don't want a job in a small town. I want a clerical job in the city and I want to work for a woman that gives me Fridays off. If you'd throw in a lottery win, but only on a Saturday, I'd love it!"
*"I really want THAT house. No, I realize I could get a better deal elsewhere if I'd just be willing to live out of the city, but I want THAT house."

Wow! Who do we think we are? Of course you are entitled to a life filled with love, happiness and abundance, but don't you suppose there is a force that has greater plans for you? Why are you on this planet if you have learned it all, right?

Rather than battling with resistance, be open to what the universe has in store for you. Don't fixate on every single detail that you don't allow anything in your highest good to come in. Be willing to make statements that allow God to bring you what you desire...and certainly something better:
*"I want a relationship that leads towards marriage."
*"I want a job where I am happy and leaves my family in financial comfort."
*"I want a new car."
*"I'd like to meet new friends."
*"I want to learn how to play an instrument."

Battling resistance is a lot like battling that drain clog, the more I pushed and focused on how I wanted it, the messier it got. I resisted and it persisted. I ended up getting professional help and when I came home from work, my drain was unclogged, my sink was very clean and wiped down and all the towels that were all over the floor had been hung up to dry. It looked better than I could have imagined. I found it hard not to smile. When I let go, stopped resisting, had faith and put my trust in the universe, I got what I wanted...and something better!

The Power of Words

"I am unlovable"..."Nobody likes me"...."I am beautiful"...."I have all the time in the world"

Words and our self expression are VERY powerful. Whatever you express, begins to manifest almost instantaneously.  You are telling the universe: "This is MY truth".  God gave you the spoken word for this simple reason. Your personal truth is very powerful, so be wise in using your gift of spoken word. This includes not just the words you say to others, but what you say in your inner dialogue.

It's well known that words and other forms of self expression have vibrations and are indeed energy.  For those who understand the laws of attraction and manifesting, words are the "like attracts like" in the entire equation. Try it sometime: Think of a funny word and say it out loud. Watch how quickly you see an advertisement on TV or the internet containing that work, how someone brings it up in conversation (sometimes many people in the same conversation) or how a stranger will say it in passing through the grocery store. 

With the understanding that our words are magnets, we can begin to change what we say to reflect our inner truth and manifest the life we truly desire. Sounds simple, right? It IS!  All it takes is work and the conscious understanding that what you say will reflect you. I am not suggesting you go out in the world, with your opinions and judgments and ball-bust everyone that crosses your path. I am suggesting you take stock in what is truly important to you and realize that you are deserving of it: friendships, support, love, abundance, money, a new home, a loving relationship... You do not need to live a life of lack, a life of fear, a life of loneliness.

We are humans with wills so we will have arguments and become frustrated with one another...or even with our self.  That is okay. It's important to remember during these times that we speak the truth instead of tossing around harsh words. I'm guilty of this as much as the next person. It can be so hard to calm the volatile tongue when it gets going, but remember that whatever you put out, you will get back from the universe. This includes gossip, slander, opinions, judgments...  I have been in arguments myself where I have called someone defective, only to find out that the very same person had a similar belief of me in a different conversation.  I've told the universe, "I never want to hear from that person again!" and that is exactly what I got until I changed my tone.

Here are ways in which you can get in touch with your truth:
1.) Make a list of what you desire and phrase it in the present tense:
"I have more than enough money to live a comfortable and relaxing life."
"I am a beautiful person and heal others with my words."

2.) Find a hobby or become reacquainted with an old one Play an instrument, write, journal, dance, go for a walk, cook...

3.) Listen to your inner voice and shut out any negative thoughts. Tell them that they are "old news" and you don't need those thoughts anymore.

4.) Come up with  fun affirmations and place them around your home.

5.) BREATHE!!!!!!!!!! Don't be so eager to respond in conversation or jump the gun when you are upset. Take a breath, or 5 breaths, before you say anything. This also applies if you are having a bad day.

6.) Me-time is very important. Take a time out, at least once a day, to do something you enjoy.

7.) Don't hide your feelings. Express them in a positive way by either journaling, talking to a friend, setting boundaries in relationships, speaking up and saying, "This doesn't feel right. I need a few moments before I decide."

8.) If you must get angry, excuse yourself and be angry for a limited amount of time. Don't suppress your feelings. Afterward, have a good laugh at it. This also applies to other negative or self-defeating feelings.

8.) Find the truth in others. Listen during conversation without thinking about how you will respond. Often we are paired with people who will teach us about our truth through mere reflection.

There are many ways to express yourself: words, song, writing, cooking, dancing... Make your world reflect what you desire. Remember that all these forms of self-expression are your gifts! What does your self expression say about you and your reality? What are you telling the world you want to attract? Are these expressions coming from your place of truth, your heart, or from a place of negativity?

Letting Go: The "Whys" and the "Hows"

Last night while laying in bed, unable to sleep, I thought about why we hang on for so long. My pet bird, Sweety, died a few weeks ago and I've been struggling with releasing a lot of that energy. While I sat in silence, it occurred to me that I wasn't hanging onto her because I actually thought she was coming back. No, instead, I was afraid to let go and face the situation because of what her existence meant to me-- the memories, the times she had assisted me, the ways in which I had changed because of her. I thought if I somehow let go that meant the situation meant nothing to me. I was afraid of the death of the "hopes and dreams" I had regarding the future with her. These feelings parallel those that we experience when we lose or face losing anything important in our lives: relationships, job, beliefs, friends, experiences, and so on.... I see so many people holding onto something or someone that does not serve them simply because they are afraid of letting go. So, why are we afraid of letting go?

1.) We define ourselves by our human existance and believe if we let go that means all our thoughts, memories and feelings will be lost.

2.) We cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.

3.) We don't feel we deserve any better--either out of fear or out of guilt.

4.) We fear death and change on all levels.

In order to let go, we have to let all our expectations, hopes and dreams regarding that person, idea or event die. That's scary! Our minds want to cling to everything that is comfortable. The problem with that is when you start throwing out ropes to all of these things and clutching on for dear life, where is the focus? Are we concerned about today or are we more concerned with getting back what we had? Taking steps to move forward and let go IS possible. Like anything, it just takes a bit of practice.

I have let a lot of things go in the past few years: a long term relationship, friendships, ideas about who I was, career aspirations and beliefs.  I'm still very much alive and very happy. It's not about giving up because the world is out of your control, but more about coming to peace with your current reality and realizing that no matter what happens--positive or negative--that it's somehow in divine order. 

So, how can you let go?

1.) Make peace with the situation and be accountable for your role.

2.) Don't dwell on the negative or put yourself in a state of guilt or shame over what happened. Remember: It is what it is and it got you to where you are right now.

3.) Find meaning in what you want to release. Was there a lesson? What did you gain? What did you lose?

4.) Remember that the word "loss" doesn't have to be negative. Giving up something to gain something better happens all the time. You may even gain back the "old" in new and exciting ways.

5.) Be grateful for what has happened. Tell the universe, "Thanks" but "No thanks"... you would not like another. You have gotten the lesson. Create a future that serves you.

6.) Redefine your dreams, hopes, aspirations around you and ONLY you. Realize that "hopes and dreams" revolving around the person, beliefs, or situation do not have any place in the present.

Letting go is an important part of moving on as well as freeing up your energy. Those ropes, or lifelines, are best used to pull you ashore. Trust that if something is meant to happen, that it will. The Universe is a funny place--always working, changing and reconstructing in every moment. It takes one phrase, "I decide", to get the energy moving. Decide to let go and make steps to do so. You will be pleasantly surprised by the results.

Who has your power?

There's a plague of dis-empowerment sweeping the world. This occurs when we worry about what another person is feeling, thinking or doing. Rather than focus on "me", we dump all of our energy into a situation we cannot control. Isn't that silly? When you think about it--can you really ever truly control another? NO! So, why dump all of your energy into that matter? It doesn't benefit you in the least bit to focus outside of yourself. Instead, it just puts you in a position where you define yourself by others' feelings or actions. Common scenarios of this include:

* Why hasn't he/she called?
* How does he/she feel about me?
* I wonder if I do ____ if it will cause him/her to do ______.
* How can I make him/her love me?

Of course, the above are just a few common scenarios where a person so easily hands over their personal power. Your energy is best conserved for you and your situation. Rather than moping about something you cannot control, buck up! Empower yourself! If you are not happy with your current situation, figure out why. Are you listening to others' thoughts and feelings about what you should do? Do you seek consistent validation from others so that you can feel good about yourself? Are your dreams defined by what another person thinks you should do? Where are you in this equation? Do you even exist? Or are you just a robot that lives by the program of another's thoughts and feelings?

Self-esteem and acceptance issues are the number one reason we find ourselves in this place of "need". We are not confident in our judgment. We lack the faith that no matter what happens, we will be provided for in every way. It's human to have these feelings every now and then, but it's debilitating to your spirit to dwell on this sad state of affairs. Let it go, realize you are the only person worth your energy and focus.

People, situations and experiences will come and go from your life. You remove all of that and you still exist. Who are you? What are your dreams? What makes you happy? What is true to you? The next time someone hands you a seed of doubt, look that person, or the situation, in the eyes and say, "I respect you but this feels true to me."

Psychic Addiction

This topic has come up for me many times over so I cannot ignore the part of me that wants to write about it.  Psychic addiction, like any other addiction, is VERY real.  Chemical dependencies are well defined by our medical and psychiatric communities.  I personally love my coffee first thing in the morning and I'm such a beast without it LOL.  What about our desire for another person to consistently validate what we are feeling? Or how about our addiction to hearing good news over and over and over again? How can we define this? 

Symptoms of Psychic Addiction most commonly include:
1.) Getting readings on the same topic before any predictions come to pass. This can be from the same reader or multiple readers.

2.) Feeling an urge to get a reading to give you that "rush". 

3.) Realizing you spend more money on readings/month than you do on other true necessities.

4.) Having a need for a reading because you don't feel empowered enough to make decisions in life.

5.) A consistent desire to have other people in your life validate every move you make.

There are many more symptoms of psychic addiction.  Of course I want clients to come back to me.  However, it is an ethical advisor's job to bring a client to a place where he/she is using his/her own intuition in making decisions.  Trust me, there will be a time when Spirit kicks you in the butt by not providing accurate information to you through psychics.  You will begin to see inconsistencies in your readings because it is your time to grow up and use your own intuitive abilities.  I remember when this happened to me.   At first, it was scary but then I remembered all the tools I had been given from my advisors which allowed me to use my own judgement in making decisions that were in my highest good. 

Some ways to get over your Psychic addiction include:
1.) Ask yourself, "Why am I getting a reading?"  Do you need a feel-good bandage to cover up old wounds? Are you unhappy about your life? Are you bored? Upset? Angry? Grieving? There is ALWAYS a reason we are in a place of needing another's validation.

2.) Find an advisor or two and stick with them.  Psychic surfing, especially on the same topic, shows Spirit you don't have faith--faith in the universe as well as faith in the information you receive from Spirit through your advisor.  Spirit DOES get upset when he/she guides you and you provide him/her a quick slap in the face by asking the same set of questions to another channel.  Wouldn't you feel upset if you spent time advising your friend on a matter and he/she decided to ask everyone else the same question over and over again?  Spirit wants you to grow but you only get so many freebies.

3.) Figure out what you can truly afford to spend on readings. Your bills and other commiments come first. Stick to it.  Each month diminish this value by 10%.  Rather than getting a "quick fix" ask questions that will assist you in moving forward with your own development. Which brings me to the next point....

4.) Find an advisor that empowers you. By using readings as a source of consistent validation or as a way to momentarily make you feel good, you are disempowering yourself.  Of course we want you to feel good after you speak to us, but it is our job to provide you the tools and guidance to standing on your own two feet.  You need to be accountable for your own life.  We don't make you do anything and we certainly don't cause predictions to happen.  This is your work. 

5.) If you get the urge for that psychic reading fix, ask yourself how important it is that you know the answer.  Wait 24 hours and ask yourself again. 99.9% of the time, you will either unconsciously or consciously figure out what the answer is.

6.) Manifest you know answer to your query by saying, "I know the answer to _______ and I feel so _____ (happy/successful)." and feel it.  Truly believe the universe will provide you an answer in the form of a conversation, TV commercial, road sign...focus on the end result of knowing the answer but do NOT speculate on the answer--it's all in the hands of the Universe so just let it go.

With that being said, here are some good reasongs to get a reading: 
1.) You want to double check your own intuition.

2.) You feel stuck in your life and growth and want guidance on how to move forward to that "next step".

3.)  You are developing your own psychic abilities and need some one-on-one assistance.

4.) Enough time has gone by for predictions to have passed (or haven't passed) from a previous reading.

5.) You are entering a new phase in your life and want a good spiritual kick-start.

6.) You enjoy readings for sheer entertainment and fun.  It's perfectly fine to ask if you should dye your hair red, if eating burritos is good for you.  I'm all business but I love silly questions--both asking and answering them :)


In this life, our overall goals include two things:.  First, we are to come to a place where we are in alignment with our Spirit and working towards fulfilling our soul's purpose. This will be different for everyone and there are always options in this arena. For me, I am a "teacher" and I can do this in my scientific career as well as through readings and advising.   This is part of my soul's purpose.  Second, Spirit would like for us to come to a place of living in the moment.  This means we do not dwell on the past or the future and have faith that the Universe will provide for us in everyway.  No human will get here 100%, but with each reading we have the ability to progress our Spirit self by asking what work we can do to get closer to the place of loving life in the moment.  Allow a reading to empower you rather than make you feel like an out of control victim.