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First allow me to apologize for this blog not being "smoothly written". I am doing this in haste as we are nearly upon the full moon!

A full moon is an excellent way to get rid of things that we just don't want in our lives and things that are no longer useful. The moon will officially become full Saturday (May 5) at 11:35 p.m. EDT and it's considered a "Super Moon" because it's coming so close to the Earth. It will be roughly 221,802 miles away from us. So let's take advantage of this wonderful opportunity.

It's time to write some letters. Believe me, this works!

Think of the people that have really hurt you. Write them a letter and which includes these things.

Dear _____________,

1. You make me so angry because_______

2. It makes me feel_________

3. I'm angry at myself for ____________ (your part in the situation, no matter how small.)

4. I'm really sorry for ____________

5. I love ________ about our relationship or contribution in my life. (No matter how small.)

6. I love _______ about what I contributed to your life.

7. I forgive myself and I forgive you and will take the best things away from this situation.

8. You are released from my life.

Now that you’ve written this letter, put it in an envelope and give rid of it. Make a “fake stamp” and put it in a trash can that is next to the post office.

I’ll share one of my letters as an example. To preface this, I am speaking to my maternal grandmother. She was a relentless critic of my life.  She passed away within the first two weeks into me taking a very high profile corporate job. I cannot remember a time where there woman wasn’t saying something very negative to me, this includes when I was a small child. I cannot imagine saying these types of things to my little boy who is eight. She was a buyer for Macy’s children’s department for 25 years.

Until I wrote this letter, I never could find a bit of value of her in my life. It’s a revelation to recognize that everyone, no matter how negative or positive, has some kernel of make up of who we are.

Dear Grandmamma,

You make me so angry because you had no filters on your opinions of me, even when I was a small child. You made me believe that I wasn’t worthy of love or compassion. You constantly berated my appearance, my clothing and my lifestyle. I hated the fact that you could not just love me for who I was instead of what I needed to accomplish and what I looked like. You make me so mad because you were judgmental toward me yet so accepting of all of the boys in our family. You make me so mad because you never stopped even when my uncle, dad and grandfather told you to. It makes me feel useless and unlovable and ugly and fat. I hated the way that you took Grandpapa for granted and then made him a saint when he died. I hate the way that you didn’t appreciate anyone until they were gone. I hate the way that you made me believe that I didn’t need anyone, especially men. (My grandmother was big into women’s rights.) But Grandmamma, we need to have a balance in our lives. This gave me a big unbalanced belief system for years that has set me up for a very singular life. I hate the way that you had such indifference toward love.  I hate that I developed such indifference toward the value of love and partnership.

I’m sorry that I never tried to repair our relationship. I just simply walked away when you opened your mouth. I’m sorry that I never showed you any love or any affection. Just because you failed to do this with me, I should have not failed to do that with you. I’m sorry that I dismissed you.

I loved that you and Grandpapa took my brother and I all over the country on your vacations. I love the fact that I’ve nearly been to every state because of your desire to see the country side. I loved that you took me shopping at Macy’s twice year. I got a sense of style and good quality from a very young age. I understand good textiles and good footwear.   I can pick out a piece of extremely fine clothing at TJMax’s or Marshall’s immediately.   (These are places that where overstocks are put on sale-even from France). I loved that everything had to be esthetically pleasing and perfectly clean, even though you worked long hours at Macy’s. You proved to me what hard work was. Your belief systems have made it possible for me to survive in male dominated professions my entire life.

I have a keen sense of our country’s history and geography thanks to you. I have a keen sense of style and fashion because of you. I understand what a spotless house is. I can do anything professionally that I chose because of you. I have no limits.

I love you Grandmamma and I’m sorry that I never told you this.

MA

 

 

After I found several of my blog articles plagiarizered in 2009 on a life coach's web site, I stopped writing anything of relevance on my blogs. Yesterday one of my dear, sweet clients told me that my blogs really helped her. My ego is now subdued. If I can help anyone by posting on a this blog, it matter little if someone else claims my writing. Today, I leave you the opening thought exercise, "Believe in magic." Take yourself back to a moment in time that reminds you of having the magic of a little child. Think of the time and live in it for just a couple of minutes when you believed that anything was possible. It could have been a trip to Disney Land, maybe it was Christmas morning as a child. Just believe. Just for a moment. That place where anything can happen is still there. Anything can happen. We just forget. Remember today. Hold it in your heart as long as you can. Try to go back to that place after a difficult time at work, or a run in with an irritating person, or receiving an unexpected bill. Take me back, to the rivers of belief....my friend....."Enigma"
Wassel, clogg, hot buttered rum, mulled wine.....OH MY... Honey cured ham with pineapple and clove, mashed potatoes, swell meats, sweet rolls, yams swimming in butter and brown sugar...OH MY... Chocolates, pumpkin pie, pumpkin rolls, plum pudding, sugar cookies, ginger bread.....OH MY... "Christmas is coming, Marie is getting fat.." Maybe the geese too? Tis the season, is it not? It's year's end...you've worked hard, you've had challenges this year. You deserve a bit of indulgence don't you? Yes, that's precisely what travels through my mind when this lovely season shows up. However, I curse myself every Valentine's Day when I try to squeeze into that little black dress. A result of joining in the merriment of the prior holiday season. I'm a writing this blog today because we are now in the advent of this entire indulgent season. I understand your plight if you are one that has weight problems. I know a bit about the ups and down of weight loss and weight gain. In high school at 16 I weighted 209 pounds. At 17 I weight 109. After university as a working adult I found myself at 165 pounds as a vegetarian. My brother introduced me to the Original Atkins diet and I lost 25 pound very quickly and kept it off for 10 years prior to the birth of my son. After the birth of my child I weighted a whopping 193 with a height of 5"5'. It took me 18 months to get to 150 and a size 8. Three years later I made it back to my normal weight of 140 and maintained a size 4. Last year I gain 37 pounds during a very stressful period of refinancing my house. What a nightmare that was. I lost those 37 pounds between February 3 to April 30. So for all of those who have struggled with weight...believe me I understand. My education and job is based in science. I took me years to understand the benefits of eating clean. There is a bit of chemistry to this. So I wanted to share some tips to help you out a bit. Food: If it doesn't exist in nature as it is presented to you, don't eat it. Veggies, nuts, meat, cheese, fruit are all okay. Try to fill up on these things first at the Holiday table instead of bread, potatoes, jello (ish!) salads and other offenders. Eat dark chocolate. Eat half of the serving of pie or pudding that you have been given. Drink wine instead of mixed drinks or those lovely holiday drinks. Love what you are eating. Don't let people force you in eating a dish because someone made it and you feel obligated to put it on my plate. My uncle, who was a physician, and I thought jello salads came directly from the bowls of Hell. There is no nutritional value and it's filled with sugar AND they aren't that palatable anyway. I used to eat this junk to appease my grandmother. I no longer do. Pick two days during November and December that you have delegated to eat whatever you want. Past those days, no sugar cookies pass your lips. When I go to my brother's I eat dark chocolate and nuts. I drink sugarless mulled wine, red wine and dark micro beer (my brother makes). I keeps me from all of the other pastries and sweets that my sister-in-law makes. Drink loads of water during the entire season. The last morsel of food should not pass your lips past 7pm. Also drink no sugary drinks after that either. Confine your intake to red wine. Exercise: After dinner, have a good brisk walk in the cold winter air for at least 30 minutes. I do 20 minutes of cardio, 40 minutes of weight lifting and 20 minutes of cardio every weekday.This kills my appetite. Wake up and take a good walk or use a tread mill or something. 30 minutes of cardio in the morning will raise your metabolism. Even light weight lifting will keep your body burning calories all day. Indeed, it has been weight lifting that has probably assisted the most in my weight loss and keeping my weight off. Cardio is a warm up and a warm down to my regiment. I like to run, too. I hope this helps. Just remember, try to keep your food "clean", processed sugar and wheat/corn free and you should be able to make it through this period relatively unscaved.

In my past blogs I have tried to define love. It's not a very easy thing to define. There are many different type of love and the English language only uses one word with a adjective, i.e., brotherly love, romantic love, etc, etc.

Below is my definitions and the comparisons and contrasts to love verse obsession. It goes for all types of love, yes even romantic love.

Love is not jealous.

I am not jealous if my son has a good time with his father. I'm well pleased that he had fun and bonded. I am not jealous if the man I love loves others. It is a divine thing to love others.

Obsession is jealous.

If I am obsessed with someone, I always fear that the subject of my affections is having a better time with someone else.

Love is not controlling.

There choices that my brother makes that I wouldn't necessarily make for myself. He chooses his experience. It's none of my business. I love my brother and he makes his own decisions. This one is hard one to explain, because I cannot think of an adult-with their wits about them, that I love that I make a judgment call on his/her choices. Okay....maybe my brother's heated driveway....right now, that might be jealously that he has a heated drive way, but in the summer it seemed unnecessary. Using my four year old, if he didn't like sports but wanted to do music, I wouldn't try to control his joy in activities. Fortunately, this is not the case.

Obsession is controlling.

If I was obsessed with member of my family or my loved one, I would make a judgement call on what they are doing. I would worry about them doing things wrong. I would worry that they won't do what they were "suppose to".

Love is not prideful.

Now this has always been an enigma to me. I am so proud of my son, the man I love, my parents, my brother, my sister-in-law and my nieces. What this means to me is that it is not my pride.

Obsession is prideful and boastful.

I think that this means that I run about telling my friends that my "people" are better than everyone elses "people".

Love is not self-seeking.

I seek things for the ones I love. My brother is a CEO of a very good company still ahead on the NASDQ. I expect nothing from this. I am so happy that he's got such a wonderful job to support himself and his family. I do not enroll my son into hockey lessons for my own good. I say positive things to my friends and family for them, not me. I don't do things for others and expect things back. I do not love a man because I want things from him. I want things for him.

Obsession is self-seeking.

It's when you  do things for others and expect something in return. "I want him in my life." So you go about the business of being co-dependant and going out of your way to do something nice not because you just want to do something nice, but to drawl them in. Well maybe he doesn't want you in his life.

Love make you want to be a better person.

Years ago, I found this to be true when I experienced true romantic love. I wanted to be a better person for a boyfriend and he wanted to be a better person for me. This is very true about wanting to be a winner for my son, I want to have a normal mentally healthy life and be mentally healthy for my son. I want to be fit so my son and I can play sports, etc, etc.

Obsessions makes you less than you can be.

If you are obsessed, you do things that are very embarrassing and very unhealthy-mentally and otherwise. Stalking, trying to control, snooping, gossiping, etc.

Focusing on the wrong things will create the wrong outcome. I sincerely believe this. When I advise clients, I look at where the situation is headed given the circumstances. It's not too difficult to change the outcome if my client does not focus on the correct things.

1.   Trust and faith

There are many times in my life that I cannot and do not wish to control people or situations. Sometimes situations are just too difficult even to handle. It can very easily make me nuts. What I do and what I suggest that my clients do is to say, "God, I can't handle this__________. I give it to you with total and complete trust."

2.   Focus on what you like or what gives you happiness.

For example, let's say I have a nasty boss, but I otherwise love my job. I have to admit that I cannot control it nor can I change him. Focus on what I love about my job. Or let's say your wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend has an association with someone you cannot bare, but they won't give up that association. Focus on what you love about your loved one. Why do you love them?  Employ Trust and Faith and accept that there is nothing that you can do about his or her free will. Don't keep wondering about it. I never have heard of a situation where worry will make the situation better.

3.   To thy oneself be true

Instead of worrying about a loved one's associations or about a boss's nasty behavior, focus on what you can do to be better. Constantly focusing on an other's fault and trying to control others is very counter productive. Focus on you and what you can do to be a better person in the situation and in life in general. The more that you do this, the more that you make the situation better for yourself. There's a strong possibility that the association or the boss will be a non-issue soon. Don't give that other individual that you cannot bare any power.

4.   Mental health

Neurotic behavior never makes things better. No form of obsession is good. Frequently I get calls about the "other woman". Okay, let's face it. She's probably not going to go away by my client focusing on it. Trying to restrict the boyfriend's friends is not going to help the situation. The only thing that my client can do about this is to be a woman like no other. Never give you power, ego or thoughts to someone else. If you do your job as a female love interest, other women will be irrelevant. The exception is if you have a serious womanizer on your hands. If that's the case, good riddance. The "other woman" is doing you a huge favor by giving you clarity and removing the womanizer from your presence.

5.   Free will

We have been given free will. Because we have been given free will, we have been given the ability to create our own reality and to chose our experience. It is one of the greatest evils to try to take away an other's free will. All spiritual traditions boil down to this. If you take a life, if you covet your neighbor's whatever, if you steal. Basically you are trying to change the other's experience and not allowing choice. Have someone try to do that to you and see how you like it.

6.   Learn to live in the mystery and expect blessings

Face it, there's absolutely no promises in life. You will never, ever have a 100% proof guarantee on anything. If I order a new gas range, there's no promises that the stove I have installed will work. It might actually have to be replaced. If you go about the business of expecting guarantees you will make yourself ill.  You can make promises to yourself and to your God. Accepting that makes life so much easier. Instead of stressing what you don't like, try waking up in the morning and expecting a miracle. Everyday something new and wonderful can unfold. You just have to change your mind. Instead of forcing your will, wonder what wonderful things may unfold. There are signs of the divine everywhere.  Polly Anna had the right idea.

 

In the last several of months I'v had countless clients that have gotten on to "dating sites" such as eHarmony, Match and Plenty of Fish. If you have been on one of these sites and you would like to know if you are having the same types of experiences that others are, please see the "issues" list below:

1.   99% have been stood up more than once.

2.   99%   have had a date canceled, but they find that the person that canceled is "on line now" during the time that the date was to occur.

3.   85%   have found that they guy has lied about how he looks by posting an old photo, or has lied about their age.

4.   90% of are constantly "looked at" by the same individual, but that individual doesn't make contact-ever.

5.   80% have found out that the person wants something different than they are putting on the site.

6.   25%  found that the person isn't divorced (yet) or that the person is in a relationship with someone else.

7.   50%  had better luck on a dating site 5-10 years ago.

So what does this all add up to?

1.   It's not you. I have absolutely beautiful, intelligent and honest clients...so guess what? It's not you.

2.   Loads of men are just window shopping and some women are, too.

3.  Some of these people are these sites are afraid to have a real relationship and they would rather have a cyber relationship.

4.   There's a reason that some of these people are on line. They fail at having relationships in real time or being able to meet people in person...so do you really think that they are much better at it in the cyber world?

5.   You may be on a site that is free or really cheap, so there's no value in the site or their need to act.

6.   The Universe is protecting you from idiots, it's not that you can't get a date, but if they aren't following through, feel fortunate you are learning this early.

7.   Some people only get on these sites to help their egos.

What should you do?

1.   If you have to get on one of these dating sites, make your intentions crystal clear, keep the information about you down to a minimum, and only post two very recent photos.

2.   Don't feel like there's something wrong with you.

3.   Find a better dating site.

4.   Never show interest in anyone first.

5.  Go out and find other ways of meeting people in real time. Cyber dating, text messaging, emailing...etc, etc, it's not communication, it's not being able to have a real relationship, it's not good interpersonal skills.

6.   Be crystal clear about what you are looking for...for yourself and for the Universe to answer your requests.

I am posting this blog to inform potential new clients that if you wish for me to connect with your situation 1 minute and 35 seconds isn't sufficient.

If you wish for me to be a speed reader and not connect directly to Source than expect me to use cards.

For my definition, less than 2 minutes is not an time ticking away.

For first time clients, try to expect a quality reading in five minutes and an excellent detailed  reading in 7-10.

I really really want to serve my clients best interests, but it is not in my clients best interest for me to feel pressured to get seven questions answered in two minutes or less. I get to worried about the minutes and not about the questions.

With Kind Regards-

Marie

This weekend I was doing research on some themes that I have blogged before. I do this pretty frequently so I first start out by Goggling and then I usually end with trying to find books to purchase at a local bookstore via Amazon.

To my absolute amazement, I found several of my blogs from Keen plagiarized on different advisor sites other than Keen. Should I be flattered or should I just accept that there are some people without original ideas?

Doesn't matter. The long and the short of this is that I put up blogs on Keen to help Keen's clientele and it was free information from research that I had done. I understand the risk factors of the Internet, but I didn't think that they would be used to drum up business on another site.

Therefore, I sadly announce that I won't be doing Exercises of the Day any longer and I have removed all blogs that have been copied.

I truly hope that those who needed help from some of these blogs got some help. I will keep some blogs up that I am not worried about being copied.

With kind regards

Marie

How many of you have or have had one or more of the following problems?

The guy or girl is taking you for granted.

You can't seem to meet anyone that has follow-through.

You can't find anyone that you would like to go out, with much less someone that you would care to develop a relationship with.

Now, you say to yourself, "I'm easy on the eyes, I'm educated, kind, loving, a good cook, great with animals and kids, blah, blah, blah (insert other good attributes here)".

Here is a list of the possible problems that are underneath the surface.

1.   You are too good looking.

2.   You lack self confidence, but you know that you are pretty or handsome.

3.    If you are a woman and you are seeking a man, you make too much money. Although this is a short explanation, it is the most important.

4.     You can do pretty much anything and there's really no need for anyone else in your life to be a partner. So what possible purpose could someone else serve? Being there and loving you is not enough to another person. Is that purposed idea enough for you when you are involved with someone? "Sweetie, you don't need to do anything, just set there, look pretty and love me." I'd get pretty bored with that.

5.    Just because you want a relationship and someone in your life, but you don't need one. Believe it or not, I used to think that was a good thing. I refer to #4 in this list. Try to look at it this way one wants to be wanted sexually and needed in day to day life. Wanted in day to day life with not having any purpose is worrisome. If someone just wants me hanging around with no real purpose, it smacks of obsession. The next impulse is to run, run, run.....as fast as one can!

6.    You're a pessimist, nothing is good enough, you have disaster and chaos everywhere. You scream drama. Love is to be joyful and blissful. It is work, but the work revolves around getting used to each other's thought processes and lifestyles NOT dealing with the drama. Drama isn't whether or not you need to hire a roofer or get your vehicle fixed...it's things that can't be fixed...negatives, pessimism, thinking that you are going to get screwed at any moment.

7.   Wanting the best and expecting the worst. Guess what you are going to get...the worse. It is so true that you get whatever you expect...even without all of this hype about the law of attraction.

8.   You have this attitude...I'll never find anyone because there isn't anyone out there in my age group, with my interests, in my socio-economic group...blah, blah, blah (insert whatever else you might think). Allow me to refer to my favorite quote: Henry Ford - "Whether You Believe You Can, Or You Can't, You Are Right"

9.    Start your search like you would do for a job....create a resume, believe your resume and that you are capable. Create a business plan. Remove the desperation out of it.

10.   Your attitude and believe is this...."They aren't going to call, they are going to cancel the date, they are going to blow me off, they are like other men/women that have screwed me." Yepphers..they sure are...

I've done extensive and exhaustive research on good resources about the above subjects. I've researched reviews, etc, etc. Please take advantage of all of this work for free...Here's a list of books that you might want to try:

How to Snag a Guy and Keep Him Hooked: 99 Ways to Make Him Ache for You - Jennifer Winston

Man Magnet: How to Be the Best Woman You Can Be in Order to Get the Best Man - Romy Miller;

Make Every Man Want You - Marie Forleo;

How to be a Super Hot Woman: 339 Tips to Make Every Man Fall in Love with You and Every Woman Envy You - Mandy Simons

Ask, Believe, Receive - 7 Days to Increased Wealth, Better Relationships, and a Life You Love (BoldThought.com Presents) - David Hooper

How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You - Leil Lowndes

The Likeability Factor - Tim Sanders; DVD

A Whole New Mind - Daniel Pink; DVD

 



 

I have been doing readings and advising for over 15 years. It's been longer than that, but I would prefer to make myself out to be younger than more experienced.

Up until the last 3 years, I thought that sun signs or zodiac signs were nonsense. Now, after reading a person, I can peg their zodiac sign about 90% of the time without the querent revealing it. Out of that, I can tell if they are a fire, earth, air or water sign about 99% of the time. There's truth to this nonsense. I now buy it hook-line-and-sinker.

Below is a greatly plagiarized piece, with bits that I have added to increase the impact. Of course these are gross generalizations, but there are kernels of truth in all abstracts.

The personality traits of the twelve signs are as follows:

  • - Aries (The Ram) (fire, cardinal, personal): Keyword: "I am". Freedom-loving, assertive, individualistic, independent, intellectual, pioneering, leader, action-oriented, fiery, straightforward, passionate, powerful. Can be extreme, arrogant, intemperate, violent, headstrong, impulsive. In relationships they like to feel as if they have won the affections of the other. They tend to be very self centered or seem to be selfish about love. They like to be the heroes as well. This is not true for all.  From dates March 21 to April 19.
  • -Taurus (The Bull) (earth, fixed, personal): Keyword: "I have". Resourceful, thorough, devoted, patient, sensual, affectionate, cautious, musical, artistic, solid, earthy, strong, sturdy, kind. Can be slow, possessive, stubborn, acquisitive, indulgent. In love, logic tends to rule. They also want their partner to be as devoted as they are. From dates April 20 to May 20.
  • -Gemini (The Twins) (air, mutable, personal): Keyword: "I think". Logical, inquisitive, lively, active, curious, multi-tasking, talkative, sociable, duality, mercurial, whimsical. Can be superficial, two-faced, inconstant, restless, impulsive, headstrong, stubborn. From dates May 21 to June 21.
  • -Cancer (The Crab) (water, cardinal, personal): Keyword: "I feel". Protective, sensitive, tenacious, family and home oriented, helpful, nurturing, watery, emotional, loving. Can be crabby, clinging, moody, worrying, pessimistic. I frequently tell my clients to "ride the wave". Many times if a Cancer seems emotional or emotionless, it has nothing to do with their partner.  From dates June 22 to July 22.
  • -Leo (The Lion) (fire, fixed, social): Keyword: "I will". Generous, proud, theatrical, passionate, sunny, bright, kingly, powerful, loves attention, dramatic, independent, noble, creative, leader. Can be arrogant, bossy, boastful, egotistic, snobbish. Try to remember with this sign it is the thrill of the chase that makes them feel love. Strange but true, if they feel like they have caught someone and have their heart they frequently aren't interested any longer. See it as if they are real lions. Once a lion has caught it prey, they are satisfied and walk away. From dates July 23 to August 22.
  • -Virgo (The Virgin) (earth, mutable, social): Keyword: "I analyze". Practical, imaginative, creative, efficient, critical, work and service oriented, common sense, modest, health conscious, mentally active, helpful, flexible. Can be pedantic, fussy, over-critical, worrying, over fastidious. In truth about 80% of my readings are about Virgos. People whom love them tend to be very frustrated because they are so hard to read. They tend to be hard to read because there is so much activity in their heads.  From August 23 to September 22.
  • -Libra (The Scales) (air, cardinal, social): Keyword: "I balance". Co-operative, diplomatic, urbane, fair, needs partnerships, refined, balanced, graceful, charming, debater, just, open-minded, social. Can be lazy, indecisive, dull, rationalizing. Libras tend to really need their partner to be balanced, resources and not a source of problems but solutions.  From dates September 23 to October 23.
  • -Scorpio(The Scorpion) (water, fixed, social): Keyword: "I desire". Passionate, secretive, powerful, keenly perceptive, deep, complex, analytical, inquisitive, resourceful, magnetic, intense, hypnotic, sexual, perspicacious, creative, vigorous, , ambitious. Can be jealous, controlling, possessive, aggressive, cunning, cruel. This sign can be maddening. I tell clients, "Scorpios are the only ones that actually speak Scorpio. It's like Finnish or Hungarian. No one else should bother to try to understand those languages unless you are Finnish or Hungarian."  Oh and this sign is one of the most obstinate. Never tell them what they are thinking and never tell them what to do. Don't jump off that bridge: SPLASH. From dates October 24 to November 22.
  • -Sagittarius (The Archer) (fire, mutable, universal): Keyword: "I perceive". Freedom loving, straightforward, extrovert, philosophical, intellectual, fun-loving, arrogant, adventurous, expansive, optimistic. Can be blundering, scattered, careless, jealous, too-serious, tactless. These individuals also will jump head first without thinking. They will invite you to an overnight without having even met you.  From November 23 to December 21.
  • -Capricorn (The Sea-goat) (earth, cardinal, universal): Keyword: "I use". Prudent, cautious, patient, methodical, practical, reserved, ambitious, authoritative, competent. Can be saturnine, suspicious, rigid, cunning, over-cautious, pessimistic. These individuals tend to be the glass-is-half-empty people. They are always trying to circumvent calamity. From dates December 22 to January 19.
  • -Aquarius (The Water Carrier) (air, fixed, universal): Keyword: "I know". Democratic, unconventional, detached, friendship oriented, humanitarian, cause-oriented, believes in the group/society, progressive, sophisticated, trend setting, magnetic, independent, objective, opinionated, devoted to goals, outspoken. Can be eccentric, elitist, dogmatic, aloof. These people are the "mad scientists", the lofty thinkers, those "ideas in the ski" people. They best deal and communicate in nuisances. From dates January 20 to February 18.
  • -Pisces(The Fishes) (water, mutable, universal): Keyword: "I believe". Imaginative, sensitive, compassionate, feeling, idealistic, spiritual, accepting, undiscriminating, creative, mystic, self-sacrificing, artistic. Can be impractical, neglectful, escapist, lazy, distracted. This definition is so true. You cannot push water up hill. They are impossible to convince of anything once they have something in their head. Even logical proof does not bring them into reality. "I have my mind made up, don't confuse me with facts." From February 19 to March 20.

If you are one of these signs and you are offended about the above text, I bet I can nail your sign!

For additional reading I would suggest, Love Signs, by Linda Goodman.

http://www.amazon.com/Linda-Goodmans-Love-Signs-Approach/dp/0060968966

Endeavoring to be useful and helpful,

Marie

How can one take advantage of another person in the name of love?

"If you love me you will........

  • have sex with me whenever I show up, whether I take you to dinner or show up at 4:00 in the morning."
  • give me money when I need it. It doesn't matter if you need that money. You will be selfless and give it to me."
  • avoid you family and friends because they don't like me."
  • accept the blame for the things that I have done."
  • apologize even though it's my fault."
  • accept the fact that I don't call when I say that I'm going to call. I'll get back to you when I feel like it."
  • sacrifice your self esteem because I create uncertainty in our relationship."
  • sacrifice your self esteem, because I might just go out with someone else that I fancy."
  • know that I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm not doing anything, so what could I be doing wrong?"

What's wrong with all of this?

This is covert abuse. Covert abuse is abuse that isn't hitting or yelling. Because their abuse isn't overt (hitting or yelling) it's hard to put one's figure on it. Covert abuse is abuse. It;'s emotional abuse, it's manipulative, and it's damaging. The problem with covert abuse one some times doesn't even recognize that it's happening until later and they frequently don't know how to heal. It creates deep emotional scars, depression, low self-esteem and other issues that can prevent one from having other healthy and loving relationships.

People, man or woman, that behaves in this manner towards someone else is abusive and probably has border line personality disorders.

What kind of personality disorders:

Passive/Agressive: Link- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive-aggressive_behavior

Narcissism: Link- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder

These are only two, but there's a myriad of disorders and behaviors that could be exhibited in the behavior above.

No one can change this behavior out of another. These are learned manipulation and control. Years of therapy, possibility meds will be the way these behaviors are changed. However, most of these types of covert abusers don't think that they have a problem. It's working for them and if someone does have a problem with their behavior then that person is mentally ill. After all, they aren't doing anything wrong.

Never ever believe that these types of people will change. They absolutely won't. Don't bother yourself believing that they will.

 

Folks, I'm getting better at seeing my manifestations come to light. It's difficult to get my clients to write stories.  I decided to tell you about mine.

Here's two that happened in the last two weeks. I have hundreds of them, but these are recent.

One year ago, I decided it was time for a new truck. I found the Nissan Xterra an acceptable vehicle and test drove it and found a photo of a silver one and pasted it on my "vision board".

Two days ago, I decided that I had to have a truck as my old Ranger was on its last legs. I found one on carsoup.com, called the dealership, did a credit application over the phone and went and picked up my new Xterra the next day. Now many people may not be finding this fascinating, but in the last two years I have had to rebuild everything in my life, so getting financed has not been possible.

When I decided that it was possible, it became possible. When I decided it was time, it was time.

Oh, and I also decided that I would pay about $4000USD less then the average listing on carsoup.com. And I did.

 

Now, I am an animal lover. My puppy died two years ago during an extremely rough time in my life and she had been with me for 10 years. 

In January I decided that we needed another dog in May.

I had settled on two breeds of dogs; a Havanese (same bred as my last puppy) and a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. In The Cities in which I live, these dogs run between $1700-2500 each. That's crazy. One of my friends and another reader on Keen started doing some research for fun for me and found a web site for me and within a day, a Caviler was listed on this site and I was sent a notification email.

On this site, the breeder had several breeds of dogs and she also had Havanese. I called the breeder and asked about both breeds, gave her information about my lifestyle and she said either would be good. I really loved her energy on the phone. She loved her dogs and you could hear dogs, puppies and children playing and calling the dogs in the background. I felt very good about the conversation. I would buy on from her, but I told her that I just couldn't settle on which one. She called me the next day and basically gave me one so I could have both. She told me that I'd been through a lot and she just wanted to make sure that her dogs went to good homes and that she still going to make $400 off of me even with this really big discount. 

I settled on two types of dogs. I decided we'd get one in the May. Even though I honestly could not afford the types of dogs that I wanted, I just kept believing that there had to be a way to get one. I believed that I could get either dog equally....and guess what?

They are coming Saturday. Both are a quarter for what I'd pay for ONE locally. They are exactly what I decided I'd get. Okay the timing is off by 4 days, but who cares.

Havanese Daisey

Cavalier King Charles Spaniel-No name decided on yet, but probably Petula.

Okay so the moral of the story is be really careful about what you want, you'll probably get it. If you can't land on a decision, you might end up with multiples.

What are the steps?

  • Settle on what you want.
  • Find a photo and paste it on a vision board
  • Don't look for specifics...i.e. person, dog, particular person, just something that represents what you are looking for.
  • Put a time limit on it. This does work or gives it particular time to land on.
  • Don't ever figure out the who, what, when, where and why. That's really wasted energy. Use your energy more productively by just intending it.
  • Intending it is the same thing as intending it as if you were going to go to the supermarket and get a box of Kleenex. There's no real barriers there, you don't ask yourself if you deserve a box of Kleenex, you don't question that you can afford it, you don't ask yourself if the Kleenex and you are meant to be together,  you don't worry if they will be out of Kleenex, anyway there's always Puffs....get the picture here?

Try it with no attachment and see what happens.

 

Many of my clients are frightened that if they are honest with their partner, that the partner will end the relationship or go away.

Nonsense!

One can rely feelings and thoughts if they convey it in the right way. Many people are not accustomed to doing this. Here are some ways to get your point across to people without ending up with a defensive argument. If the receiver of this information is abusive, they may not receive it well no matter how you put it, so decide what kind of a situation you are in prior to sharing.

  • "This is how I see it........"
  • "This behavior makes me believe.......".
  • What is your goal of telling them what you think? Make sure you have a goal.
  • Go into this conversation to get clarity about the situation.
  • REMOVE EMOTION. This might be difficult to do, but treat is as a breach of interpersonal boundaries.
    Maybe he or she doesn't even recognize what effect their behavior has on you.
  • Check yourself to see if you are making assumption based on emotions.
  • Do not make assumptions such as, "I known why you are doing this." OR "You think that......"
  • Do not put your thought processes into the person. Do not assume that they are doing something because you haven't any idea where they are coming from.
  • Keep focused on the goal of the conversation. Is you goal to tell them that you feel left out and you don't know why they aren't including you in something? Keep focused on that, why they are doing this and if it's going to change. Try to keep the receiver focused on that goal as well.
  • Make sure that you have all of the information prior to making any statements.
  • Tell them that you are attempting to create a healthy relationship and that communicate more effectively.
  • Determine after the conversation if they understand your point of view. Wait to see if they are going to try to change their behavior. If they have become argumentative or nasty then maybe your aren't going to achieve a healthy relationship with this particular individual.
  • Understand you cannot make anyone change. You can point out that their behaviors make you uncomfortable and they might change their behaviors. If they continue to be hurtful or disrespectful, then you might be barking up the wrong tree.

Hazards of not being honest:

  • Always second guessing why someone is doing something and you are probably wrong.
  • Constant recurrence of a uncomfortable situation.
  • Harboring resentment.
  • Making too many calls to Keen about their intentions.
  • Opening yourself up to abuse or being used.

Please feel free to add........

"Back off, I'm not that kind of a car."

"Answer my prayers, steal this car."

"Atheist are Beyond Belief."

"God gives and forgives, Man gets and forgets!"

"I did not believe in Reincarnation the last time either!"

"Keep on working, millions on welfare depend on you!"

"I fought the lawn, and the lawn won."

"Visualize whirled peas."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."

"If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you."

"Does the name Pavlov ring a bell."

"Yes, this is my truck. No, I will not help you move." (I should put this on my truck.)

Here's a really basic lesson in intentions and manifestations.

Recently I started paying attention to my heart rate when I was on the tread mill. I'm on that thing at the YMCA one hour a day, five days a week. Someone said, "You're not loosing your winter 10 pounds because you aren't in the zone." Okay, whatever. I'm a Scorpio and that means nothing in moderation, it's black or white and there are not shades of grey. If a heart rate of 120 is good, 220 is really good, right?

So I started investigating this heart rate stuff and found that I wasn't in the zone. Alright, whatever that means. I just understood that I need to have my heart rate at between 119 and 128. So now when I am on the tread mill, I intend it. And guess what? It works. There's the power of intention in a nutshell. I can control my heart rate.

No wonder it's so blasted difficult to loose weight because you are paying attention to the fact that those trousers aren't fitting right.

No wonder it's hard to be in a relationship, because you're probably paying more attention to the lack.

No wonder it's hard to make and keep money, because you're most definitely paying attention to the fact that your checking account is dangerously low.

So how do you intend something that isn't there? How do you pay attention to something that you lack?

Simple: Intend it as if you are intending to go to the supermarket. That's what I noticed. Will it into existence. Here's the punch line: You can't figure out HOW IT's going to happen. In truth, I could give a fig how I manage to get back into all of those expensive tiny jeans. I don't care if aliens take me in the middle of the night and give me bonus liposuction. I don't care how that six figure amount ends up in my checking account. Would you?

Need more help with this? Let me know!

Wishing and wanting the best for you.....

Marie

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