Transitions

I no longer suffer from the daily pains I had back in 2009. I had to go back and reread my past blogs. I do remember those years. UGH! It was all emotional and as I healed my emotional struggles, and learned better ways to protect myself from the empathic side of me,all my pain was gone. It was from my clients, and an emotional struggle I had been dealing with. I used a lot of healing techniques on myself also. I have been educating myself a lot in the past few years that I have been off of keen and I can only say that everything I have been dealing with has been the best challenge for building my strength. I have been honing in on my gifts and used them in my bodywork sessions off of keen. It has been so wonderful to be able to help others as they go through life. I have decided to come back to keen to see if anyone here needs my help. My gift has just exploded and I am just so honored to be able to help you. Give me a call and lets see what we can do to help you out. I know the last year 2011 was a difficult one, but all these energies coming in are just forcing us to delete some of the old thinking patterns and rules that society has layed before us. They dont work anymore. We must live from our heart and let go of our ego mind. I hope you are coping well. I know a lot of you are going through changes in your love life that are not so appealing, but trust me. The silver lining is truly there once all is said and done. Forgive your SELF and move forward. Fall in love with you all over again. Make peace with whatever is at hand RIGHT NOW. Forget the past, live in the present. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Be 100% in this moment right NOW! Call me when you are ready and I will be more than happy to cheer you on!

So, it is that time of year again.  So many things happened this year, and yet as I went through them, I found that I was just cruising along as the tornadoes spun around me. 
In other words, I was in the center of the storm, the eye of the hurricane. 
How many of you went through some transitions this year that were pretty amazing for you?  I am proud of myself for NOT reacting to what was happening.  I had been so aware of others intentions this year, that I was calm as they had it put right back on them.  Ahhh, the divine law of Karma!
I always take care in everything I do.  I am human and I have my frailties, but I do not bite when the bait is thrown out there. 
I have lived by the motto, "Never put your faith in any human, you are sure to be disappointed. Place your faith in Creator, God, Buddha, or whomever your higher power is, and you will be pleasantly surprised."
I am constantly on that end of it.  Thinking and speaking are two different things, though.  I could think about asking God for things I would need, but then when I actually ASKED for them with 'voice', they came into fruition.
I am rambling, but it feels good.  I have a big expansion in business in my other life off of keen here, and I am scared to death because of the economy, but I feel the forces above are wanting me to do this and they keep pushing me.  So I walk through my fear, and just know that they will take care of me financially when I do this. 
It is time to begin the renovations.  May I be blessed with great offerings from my landlord. May my intentions always remain positive and loving, and may my mind remain open to new ideas always, and may all the right people come to me that are ready for their healings, revealings, creativity, and openings- and may their entire person be affected by Your light for their highest good-spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. 
More on my mission later.....

I am a bodyworker and an energy healer off of keen.  I am happy to tell you of a new healing modality that I have learned.  It is a blessing. I cannot believe how much it has helped so many around me, including my "non-believers".  (My scientific minded clients)
Healing from so many things in this life myself, I understand most dis-eases you may suffer from.  If you have an ailment that I can help you with, please write to me and let me know.  Place HEALING WORK FOR ME in your subject line, because I receive so many emails per day, I cannot keep up with what is what.  I don't want to accidently delete you.
I have helped a dog get through a bout with Pancreatic Cancer.  His owner did eventually put him down anyway, due to not wanting to watch him suffer as her other dogs had in the past.  This hurt me, but I have no control over what others choose to do.  Her dog was getting better, even the blood-tests were proof positive.
I worked on a cat, and this cat I knew where the pain was and  pinpointed it exactly. I sent the client to a "holistic" vet, and that cat did have the problem I told her.  There are two more spots that come up for him, but I just keep cleaning them out for him. 
What is amazing with animals is that they know, instinctively, you are not there to harm them.  If they wish to be healed, they come to you.  This cat actually did not take to others, but when he met me he went right to my hand that gives the healing energy and layed on it.
As for my human subjects........
I worked on people close to me first.  My grandmother, who "poo-poos" what I do, had a miraculous healing with her legs.  With a diagnosis in the Spring last year of Parkinsons, and Spinal Stinosis in the Winter...... she was reduced to using a walker.  (All of which I was unaware of at the time). As a request by my mother, after working on her the first day for a hip/knee complaint, I continued to work on her throughout the weekend after realizing there was MUCH more needed then just that area.  My mother called continuously throughout the weekend, but I was too busy to reply.  After a long 3 hour session of clearing my grandmother, something must have happened for my phone to be going crazy like this.  I was correct.  My mom asked if I had continued to work on her, and I told her yes. She told me that my grandmother showed up at her neices house without her walker OR her cane and proceeded to swim for the first time all year.  (Swam all day and still had no pain.)  Onto this day, almost a year later....... she is still without her cane, but her pain is beginning to come back. She is a believer now.
A client of mine, who told me she didnt believe in "Reiki" or any other of the energy healing "crap". I told her I only needed 3 minutes of her time and then she could tell me how she felt.
Just a little past history: This client and I had been working on a tear she had in her knee for 3 months.  It was remaining the same because she was very active and she was not about to let it slow her down. (Ahhhhhhh...... athletes. Gotta love em.)  Anyway, back to this present day, this person came into the room and I told her to really feel her knee pain, focus on it and rate it.  She said she was at an 8 out of 10 (being the worst). After I did my weird mumbo jumbo on her, she stood up and asked me how I did that.  (Might I say, she was actually blushing!)  Then she found her pain again and admitted it was less.  (She just had to prove to me that it was still there.)  I told her over the next few minutes, few hours, and few days..... it will continue to improve.  Well, I didnt expect this, but she was in to receive a chair massage that day and I threw this in for free.  When I was done with her chair massage, (15 minutes), she stood up and blushed again and said the pain was totally gone and wanted to know how the heck I did it.
Well, she is back to "non-believer" status again, but I will await the next time she is in pain.  (I am NOT wishing any towards her either.  I am just sayin')
There was only one person that didnt believe me, and, frankly, I think I scared her.  She was a debout Catholic and worked for the church.  She did let me try it on her, and I honestly think it took her pain away, but she refused to admit it and hurriedly just wanted to receive her massage.  Didnt want to talk about it or anything. Thankfully, I have not lost her as a client, but I learned to be more cautious on who I use this on. 
So, those are my stories for you and I hope you enjoy them.
I am very sorry I have not been online to read for you in so long. I have been so occupied with my little girl, and if she is awake, I refuse to have her bothering me when I am on a call with you.
I hope you understand. 

I am here to write about something I have never shared.  Living life in physical pain.
Going through a daily existence with a smile on my face. Helping to heal others ailments. Allowing people the pleasure of relaxing.  Taking their pain away. Never allowing them to know about my own SILENT suffering.
At the end of my days, I go home fall down in physical pain from being on my feet all day. Unable to do chores around my house. (Unless it is my day off, then I can do it in increments of 20-30 minutes at a time.)  My joints, tendons, muscles......... all aching.  Living with pain is a daily challenge for me.  I remain positive despite all of it. 
At times it is crippling......... at times it is tearful.  *Mostly at night when I go to bed.*
I do have a very young daughter. (11 months old). I have become a prisoner in my own home, due to the recovery process from a week of work.  I need to keep up with my daughter.  I think she knows, mysteriously...... It shows in her eyes when she looks me.  She is such a good baby.
I have been compelled to write this, because I KNOW there are more people that suffer in silence and have the same existence out there that are just like me.  You shut people out of your life so that they dont see you suffer.  They do not understand what you are going through. You know they mean well when they offer suggestions, but you have already done all they have suggested.
I believe in emotional struggles causing physical ailments.  I truly do.  I work on my emotional struggles every day! 
The chronic fatigue.  The label they want to give me is "Fibromyalgia".
I refuse to claim it, even though I have all the classic symptoms.
There is more to this story, and I DO wish to share it with you.
One night, I decided I needed some answers, and I was sick of "living with it" and went online to seek out answers.  I know we are NOT our pain, but sometimes, our pain becomes such a part of us....... and trying to find ways of releasing it.........releasing that emotion......... it is difficult to find out WHY it is staying!  A lesson?  Maybe!
Needless to say........ through my scientific side of my brain......... I began to think~~
I know of one problem I DO have...... it is a thyroid condition. (PLEASE DONT STOP READING! THERE IS MORE HERE YOU NEED TO KNOW)  I am not shy about this.  I dont need a hippa law protecting me from letting you know that I have this condition!  There are millions of people out there with this condition, and I think there needs to be an awareness about it! 1 out of three of us are MISDIAGNOSED> Even if you test NORMAL! You may still have it.  I RECENTLY FOUND A SITE OF A WOMAN WHO DID RESEARCH AND FOUND ANSWERS!!!  Even about what blood tests they SHOULD be doing, yet they are NOT!

Here is the jist of it.
Our thyroid controls EVERY SINGLE major organ and system of the body!  Kind of like the brain of our system!  When it malfunctions...... many other things malfunction also!
I found this great site this woman made.  It is a site you go to when you get sick and tired of the medical professionals out there (and mind you, NOT ALL MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS....  I am not knocking the entire medical world!) telling you you're a "hypochondriac", "its all in your head," "oh that isnt a part of thyroid," "get some sleep," "go on a diet".......blah blah blah......... and send you home with a new diet to try, try to give you an anti depressant, and want you to see a psychotherapist.
Let me just say, I am disheartened by all of these situations.  There are many stories on this site I found, and if you would like to know more please email me and I can send you the link.  I am on the high road now, and I will follow up with all of you on this.  I have just recently found this information out, and I actually was surprised to know about the fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue being part of it.
I only want my life back and I will do anything to get it back.  I have a daughter that I wish to keep up with in this life.  As I have said, she is only turning 1 this year.  I have a long time I need to be here on this plane still, and I would like to live that remainder out in a healthy way.  WITHOUT PAIN!!!!!!!!!!
Please feel free to post your stories here....... I love information.  Anything to share, please add it here.  I can only learn from you what I do not know myself.
I know there are many out there that live in pain that do NOT have a thyroid condition.  I also offer this as a platform for you to write also!
God bless all of you.  You are all in my prayers!

Here is the link of that site! http://diagnosis.4t.com/about.html

Memorial Day is approaching fast.  The sun is high, the temps are rising, although our April showers never came so they are here now in the month of May.  We had a bad case of caterpillars a couple of years ago when we first bought our house, so we didnt know of all the flowers we had, except from what the locals had told us.  Let me tell you that last year I was thinking how nice our house looked, but the neighbors were asking if I had pulled the flowers up that the previous owner had planted, because it didnt blossom like usual.  I know I hadnt, but let me just tell you about my house THIS year!  WOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Blooms and blossoms everywhere.  I cant get a good day to get a picture of it all either, then when I do, half have died off and I miss the beauty of the full blossom altogether.  Then the rains come and ruin my shot all the more.
During all of this, I feel as though it is quite ironic how I have been feeling this way in my life too.  This is the year of blossoming and anything is possible and I keep reminding myself that this is a "1" year and that means that I am going to make these next 10 years the greatest of my life so far!!!!  3's and 10's have always been numbers I have noticed in my life. 
I dont know much about numerology, but as I read more and more on the subject, the more fascinated I become with it.  Each number's meaning......... then that brings me to the zodiac and astrology and how numerology fits together with that also...... the planet alignments and your birth sign. (another subject I am not good at, but I am capable of telling the sign of a person once I begin to get to know them).  With this you can bring the numerology into feng shui........ the placement of things in your home or office to help your life flow more freely.  It all seems to flow together; its all connected, just as we humans are...........
Why am I rambling like this, you might ask???????????  Welll, this is just my mind on paper, or perhaps, the pc blog........ It doesnt shut off.  Sitting in my still spot while waiting for the next adventure to begin in my life........ or for the next pin to drop......... this is what happens in my head! 
Is anyone else in that stagnant spot with me??????????  Are you out there????????  At least, I am in the comfortable stagnancy.  I hate when I am inpatient and cant stand waiting......... I have moved past that point and am now on my comfortable wait, watch, and listen as spirit does its "behind the scenes" work for my next adventure.
I am sorry I have nothing too intelligent to write about today.  I am just venting my mental onto this blog to clear my head for bed.  Yet, I await to see if anyone is still out there reading my blog.
Take care all!  Be well to yourselves and your loved ones.
I hope all of you "Mothers" out there had a great mom's day, and if you didnt, then do something to make it better for next year.  Or, treat yourself to something nice! 
Love and Light to all of you!

Time has been standing still and I have been feeling really anxious. The other day, I found my mind began to race about the recent headlines (Gas Prices Soaring! Economy Slowing!). April and May have proven, for the past two years, to be my slow months, too.  I just worked up some charts to see how I have been fairing to find out when my slow periods are, and that time is now!  Oh how I wished I had realized this sooner.  I would have planned better financially, and taken a well-needed vacation!  My mind continued, "Spring is here, I want to weed my garden and build new gardens, I need to rake my 2 acres of land.  I need to clean up the dog's toilet! ;P I would like to replace a couple of windows,  put on an addition, redo the patio, and concrete the driveway!  Oh yeah and make a LOT MORE MONEY, so I can do all these wonderful things!  It was overwhelming me with the feeling of "LACK!"

Needless to say, as I went on and on like a rambling fool in my head I shouted to myself, "STOP!"  "Enough already!"

I walked into my little baby's room and there she was sleeping away in her crib.  Looking at that innocence and that beautiful little face, I remembered to think of the positive things in my life! My wonderful husband, children.... (furry one's included here!) I hadn't laughed in quite some time. I began to think back of my accomplishments of the last year.  I took another leap of faith! Opened my OWN business!  I have been doing very well at it, too.  I have a brand new baby!  Who knew what an awesome miracle that would be!  I am so sorry that men will never be able to experience that miracle that us women do.  I am so in love with my daughter! (This in no way is meant to offend any women that cannot have children.)

We keep hearing about how we need to listen to our thoughts more.  That movie, "The Secret" came out.  "Living the Law of Attraction."  I know there is truth to it, because I have lived like that most of my life.  My self chatter is my worst enemy and thankfully through all of our world changing so quickly, it helps me to stay on top of my "self defeating attitude".  I have vowed to myself that for every negative comment I must say 3 nice things about whatever it was I was commenting on. 

What I am trying to say is that when times are seeming to be an endless stream of being stuck and/or standing still, dont let that eat you up.  If things are continuing to happen and it all seems negative and it is weighing you down, don't let it anymore!  This is your 'incubation' period before you can become butterfly.  You are the caterpillar in the pupa stage.  While you are in your cocoon, and you feel like you have no one in your life, and you are feeling stuck and depressed, and all alone..... stop yourself and begin to face up to the accomplishments you have made, and then you can look forward to things you would like to change to build your NEW FUTURE!!!

Remember you are in TOTAL control of yourSELF.  You make your decisions for yourself and ALSO, MOST IMPORTANTLY, take FULL responsibility for those choices you make! Even if you fail, by holding yourself responsible, you are allowing yourself to grow in self worth.  Sometimes, we have to fall so we can learn how to get back up again. 

You are NEVER alone in what you go through.  There are MANY more people out there going through the same things. 

A lot of us readers on keen are here to help you through these times, and we hope to be able to shed a little light on your "stuck-ness".

If anything, remember this:  "Don't wait for the storm to pass!  Get out there and dance in the rain!!!!!!!"  Make your dreams come true.  Do something for yourself when you are feeling blue.  Help you to help yourself!!!!!!  Your SELF will thank you!

I send to you Love and Light with hopes for many Happy Tomorrows.

Any thoughts or stories of your own, Please share!  Thank you so much!

Octoberflame

 I have always been labeled as different. I continually had visions and was seeing spirits moving around my room at night since I was a young child.  My parents didnt understand, so they told me to keep quiet about this stuff outside of home.  As I grew up, I realized I needed to stop telling my own parents things, also.  So I buried it deep inside me.

They told me that people can be cruel and they wouldn't understand.  My mother told me that if it got out, I could be taken away from them.  That made me shutup for sure!

Some of my history:

My earliest memory was of a bright sunny morning.  I had felt a happiness and warmth that I cannot describe to anyone.  There was an angel by my crib looking down at me with a smile.  The sunlight was brighter than I had ever seen it. I remember feeling so much love for my family together as one, yet as separate individuals. (Cannot explain this)  I remember my curtains of sunflowers.  When I shared this with my mother in more recent years, she looked at me with shock and told me she made those curtains, and she hated them so she took them down soon after I was born.  Now that is an EARLY childhood memory.

I remember seeing the "boogie man" at night, too. It is difficult to have your parents telling you he doesnt exist when he is standing there making faces behind them. (Which I had come to realize later on was just a spirit that had crossed over).  It's hard to understand when you are little and your parents don't want to help you enhance on your gifts.  So, I had to bury my gifts until I was out of the house.

I vividly remember, at the age of 9, knowing someone in my family would die at a young age.  I only had a few years left with them as I understood it.  I cried and cried and begged God not to take anyone..... I couldnt bare the thought of losing any of them.  I told him to take me instead.  When it was stated, there was this "knowing" as I call it.  I knew in my heart that He heard me!  GOD became MY TRUTH and REALITY from that day forward!!  Never again  did I ever question His existence. I retracted my statement in an obsessive way, every single night; begging God to"let me live, I didnt mean it" after my prayers were said!!!!!!!!!  I did lose my father when I was 15.  He was only 36.

 There were other messages I used to receive.  I would call them daydreams.. but they were actual visions of the future.  MY future.  Things my soul knew I had to go through before I could reach the next stage in life.  It wasn't scary to receive the messages, but as you began to see things coming true later on was very difficult to handle by yourself and not have anyone to talk about them with.  When I spoke to my mother about them, she looked at me strangely, and I knew communication about such things needed to cease immediately.  She did not understand, and was scared of where I was headed. (Probably thinking I was losing it!)

Finally, a day came when she started to believe in me.  She had been dating a man from another country.  He moved to the states and lived with us for a time.  He and my mother began arguing a lot.  I started to become defensive of my mother.  He would do things to buy us kids, get our approval and began to make our mom look bad in our eyes..  (ex: if mom said 'no' to something, he would allow us to do it when she wasnt around.  He even bought us beer.  We were underage.)  One day, my mother, sister, and I were driving home when we saw her boyfriend walking up the road in his trenchcoat. I made a comment to my mother stating "if I didn't know any better he has a shotgun under that coat." When we arrived home, my Mother ran through the house like a crazy person searching for something.  She made us panic, and we kept asking her what she was looking for... I remember her looking at me and saying, "Please dont ask any questions, I will explain later. You and your sister get in the car and wait for me. Dont do anything else, just GET IN THE CAR NOW!!!"  I knew it was serious and I began to panic that her boyfriend was going to get home before she was out of the house.  They had an argument earlier that day, and I only knew it had something to do with him.  Finally, she came out to the car and we sped off quickly.  We arrived at the police station several minutes later, and after a very long night, we were taken home to go to bed.  I later came to find out that this man had constantly threatened my mother that if she did not marry him no one would have her because he would kill her and then himself.  The day I saw him and made my comment, triggered something in my mother, and she was frantically searching the house and counting our guns. This was the day he DID have a gun.  The house was surrounded, he surrendered, and they tore our entire house apart, confiscating all weapons, which were later returned to us and placed in a gun cabinet under lock and key.  Needless to say he was shipped out of the country never to be allowed back in.

I remember sleeping with the light on until I was 30.  It took that long to understand what was happening to me.
    Always at night..........
        All the people in my room, and more coming in behind them...........
            Sometimes seen, sometimes sensed and unseen.........
                Always feeling them around me. 
                    Watching me. 
                            Trying to communicate with me, but not being able to understand them. 

Let me just say, it was enough to make ME think I was losing it!!!!  I even went and got checked out thoroughly because I began having anxiety attacks!!!  I had brain scans, counseling, heart testing....... all of it.  Nothing was wrong with me. 

Still I could not find a mentor.  Someone to understand what was happening to me. 

I went to our yearly psychic fair and met a woman that had never worked one before, refused to record her readings.......( and she never worked one again).  She was the best person I could have ever met, because she helped me to understand my gifts. She asked me why I wasnt on her side of the table doing the readings.  I laughed at her.  She asked why I am paying someone to confirm things I already knew? She did answer my questions and helped me so much!  I had her address from her business card and I wrote to her years later, because with that one reading she guided me to certain books and meditations and how to re-open on my own.
I am happy to report, through her I found out the main visitor at night has always been my Father. It was a blessing to find out it was him all those years that helped me through so much!!!  She told me that I had ALL the power to send the spirits away.  (It is like you see on those shows.)  I only had to tell him that I was fine and to stop bothering me at night.  I needed my sleep.  I only needed to plan a certain time every week to meditate and if he had anything to get across to me, he could do it at that time.  (Spirit likes this, and it worked.)

Now, backtracking into my 20's, I had a friend come to me asking me an awful lot of questions of the unknown.  She was having experiences and who knew she, too, used to have these experiences when she was younger.  I couldnt believe it, because she used to look at me as though I was a weirdo, too. 
Anyway, I began teaching her and others how to speak to their Angels.  I still could not hear mine, but I could teach others how to hear theirs.  (Strange, huh?)  We then began to use a horrible board "Ouija-type" to help us have the "evidence" we needed to know she was getting the messages correct.  Well, I do not use tools due to what happened with this board.  All I can say is that it opened a doorway, and I, being the medium of the group, was who that awful, awful spirit came into.  I was tired that night and I did not protect myself properly, and I continued to say I did not want to do this to my group....... but upon their insistance I did, and it was the worst experience I had ever had.  All I can say is that I dont like to speak of it, and that we had to call in the Archangels. GABRIEL came.  THAT ENERGY WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!  Gabriel came across feminine to me...... maybe because I needed that motherly type of energy coming to save me.  NEedless to say......... it felt like a bucket of ICE COLD WATER was being poured over my entire INSIDES.  From my brain down to my feet.  I cannot explain it for anyone to understand unless you have experienced it yourself.

Needless to say, there have been many twilightzone experiences for me also,and I could go on and on forever. So many spiritual experiences, you could make a really good movie out of them.  Some are hard to believe, others are truly unique and beautiful.  I can only say, that with the myriad of people I meet, it only becomes more and more interesting.
So, if you have any strange stories to share, or wonderful experiences about loved ones that have crossed over, please share them.