Time and again I have gotten calls from people who seem unable to get over somebody and move on with their lives. Again and again it's"When will he call me? Or what does he think of me?" Too often sadly enough the man has moved on with their lives but the call is not getting the message. As my feed back shows I have gotten a fair number of colorful commentary because I say"No the married man is not available and is not leaving his wife or thinking of you right now."
I don't know about you but I have a hard time with lying to people and building up cruel false hope. Often I am asked when will he call when the guy does not even know her from Adam or he's happily married and crazy in love with his wife. Or he was an ex in a relationship which broke up years ago but she still can't move on or get the message that he is not coming back.
If one of these women sounds like you..ask yourself why are you still hung up on him and are not happily living your life with another who would actually be available to you and has not blocked your phone number off his phone or blocked you on MSN or Yahoo or AIM.
And it is also not being fair if you ask this question"Did he even love me at all? He is not calling me now." This is not playing fair. He cared about you at the time but he has moved on with his life. Why can't you? Exes are often exes for a very good reason and once you get back with the guy you all of a sudden remember WHY he became an ex. For forgetting your birthday. For not returning your phone calls or not calling for weeks at a time. Or for hitting on BOTH your sister and your best friend and getting your cousin pregnant or giving you STDs because he was running around on you without using protection. And if he was beating you black and blue on every Sunday afternoon please do not expect me to endorse this relationship.
The only relationships I will endorse are with men who are man enough to call you back and treat you with respect and like a goddess. That means a man who gives you a present just becuase he saw it while he was out and thought of you imediately and thought that you would love it. Or a man who holds your hand and holds the door open for you. A man who will ignore your best friend but will befriend your best friend's boyfriend so he does not feel left out. A man who ignores all other women when out with you and if he has women friends he introduces them to you and does not treat them like a dirty secret. He will often be buddies with the men in these women's lives which means you can double date and do group activities. It means a man who will make the effort to reach out to your family and your parents. A man who does not include alcohol among the four major food groups. A man who will not be insecure enough to be jealous of your kids and your family. A man who is nice to your mom.
Need I say more. The most important hing is this man will always call you back if I endorse him. He will get so attatched to you that he will need to hear your voice on the phone as much as possible for him to function. And no I am not talking about toal wimp here. I am talking about a gentleman.
The word gentleman does not need to be a dirty word. A gentleman does not only come around when he wants to mooch money off you. The gentleman has his own money and does not need to take any of yours. A gentleman will buy you flowers just because. A gentleman you can take home to meet your mama and papa and not have to worry about him embarassing you or himself with them. A gentleman will NOT cheat on you.
And most of all a gentleman will NOT raise his hand in violence against you.
This is the philosphy I take with my clients here. If he is not a gentlman and does not treat you like a lady I will not endorse him to you. If you were a client and you turned down the gentleman because you were still hung up on some mouth breather who did not give you the time of day unless he wanted to use you. You need to sit down and have a nice long talk with yourself about respecting yourself and deciding whether you deserve better than to be left on the shelf or pushed aside all the time.
I keep it real here and I will not feed sugar coated fantasies about some knuckle dragging bottom feeder who got your best friend pregnant while mooching off of you. I don't endorse scumbags here and I never will. I don't endorse adultery especially when Mr. Married Man has no intentions of divorcing his wife or only wants a piece on the side. Take the hint and demand better for yourself.
Are you ready to start respecting yourself? Are you ready to start believing that you deserve a gentleman who can give you his all and won't push you aside the minute a hot number cruises by? I'm always available for people who don't want to be victims anymore and want to take charge of their lives and believe in themselves and will not let themselves be disrespected anymore.
There is a saying that I go by and you need to take it to heart.
One lie, one broken promise, one hint of deception of any kind from a man or woman and you need to cut and cauterize and move on. Don't be that girl who waits by the phone for an ex who is seeing someone else or is maried to someone else for five years at a time.
Don't be that girl.
Be a winner and pick a winner not a loser.