Keen Home  | Blog Policies  | Help
Welcome to Community Sign in | Join | Help

Lunar Eclipse in Aquarius - August 5, 2009

For all you folks with Leo and Aquarius prominent and personalized in your natal chart (Sun,. Moon or Ascendant) you have reached the end of a long and harsh two year cycle! It comes to and end tonight, August 5, 2009, in the USA at 8:55pm EDT and in Europe (Copenhagen/Brussels) tomorrow morning at 5:55am CEDT, in the form of a full moon (lunar) eclipse.

The eclipse will occur at 13 degrees of Aquarius and is an unusual third lunar eclipse of the season, and the second one of this summer.

You can expect it to touch the Aquariuan areas of your life and bring to you final "aha" moments and lessons. You have learned a lot since August 2007 in the life areas covered by Aquarius in particular and also in Leo. 

In the mundane, larger world, you expect it to highlight progressive perspectives on humanity, life in general, science, social groups and asociations and knowledge. It will also affect whatever personal areas where you have Aquarius. If it is in your 7th house, then relationships; if it is in your 11th house, then friendships and group associations; if it is in your 8th house, then debts and deep sexual and psychological issues etc.

The other area that will be marked in the larger mundane word is in Leo areas of children, taking risks (such as gambling on the stock market), creativity, being playful, and non-serious but perhaps sexual love affairs.

Because it is a lunar eclipse, if you are a woman, you may decide it is time to end an unsatisfying relationship and walk away; if you are a man, you may see the woman in your life leave you because she can no longer tolerate the relationship and realizes that things have finally run their course for her.

The influence of this lunar eclipse could be felt as early as August 2 and the stronger effect will last until August 9. However, expect that for up to two weeks from the direct hit, you will see the import of it all. The final messages about what is wisest for you to do, which direction to take and what you were to learn in certain areas and from certain people, will be very apparent by August 23.

Of course for many there will be no major event during this eclipse time, but there still may be that unspoken sensitivity to people and events around you. Expect the unexpected and embrace what the Universe brings you!

To your success!

Barrett


L. Barrett Powell is an international coach and cultural trainer/consultant with an academic background and experience in psychology, theology and journalism. Barrett's focus is on Success  Coaching incorporating the Law of Attraction. She lives and works with individuals and inter-cultural organizations in the USA and Europe as a coach, coordinator and trainer. Contact her by email.

The Wonderful Thing about Tiggers

One of my favorite books on my bookshelf is The Complete Tales & Poems of Winnie-the-Pooh. The lovely stories, poems and songs in it kept me enchanted as a child when my parents read them to me and when I was able to later read them to myself. They gave me much insight about life. One favorite character of mine is Tigger, who has much to teach us about being unique, special, a person of integrity and positively following our calling in this world.
 
There is a story from the book The House at Pooh Corner titled "In Which Tigger is Unbounced". In this story Rabbit, who we come to know through the Pooh books is nervous and rather controlling, crafts a plan to take the bounce out of Tigger. Rabbit is infuriated at how Tigger is so full of bounce and joy. You see, Tigger is quite a joyful Tigger, bouncing around and enjoying life, friends and anything which comes his way. He makes the best of situations and does not spend time pouting or looking at the negative. Tigger makes great progress in life and life is very good.
 
One day Rabbit says to Pooh and Piglet that he has devised a plan to take Tigger into the woods where he has never been, lose him there and then go back to get him the next day. He says it will change Tigger and Pooh asks "Why?", to which Rabbit replies:
 
"Because he'll be a Humble Tigger. Because he'll be a Sad Tigger, a Melancholy Tigger, a Small and Sorry Tigger..."
 
He goes on to say that it would be a good thing to bring Tigger down and "make Tigger feel Small and Sad for just five minutes".
 
Pooh and Piglet are convinced by Rabbit's logic and they go about it. Roo is picked up along the way. But what happens is that Pooh, Piglet and Rabbit get lost. Tigger explains to Roo that there's a funny things about Tiggers -- they never get lost! Eventually Tigger sets off to find his three lost friends. Pooh and Piglet find their way home through Pooh listening to his 12 pots of honey at home on his shelf. But Rabbit, insistent on his own way, get even more lost. Eventually, Tigger finds Rabbit....a very changed Rabbit:
 
"And the Small and Sorry Rabbit rushed through the mist at the noise,and it suddenly turned into Tigger; a Friendly Tigger, a Grand Tigger, a Large and Helpful Tigger, a Tigger who bounced, if he bounced at all, in just the beautiful way a Tigger ought to bounce"
 
I have always remembered this incident at Pooh Corner because it taught me early in life to be myself, to treasure my uniqueness and to not allow others to bring me down because they feel insecure. The same applies to us as adults. Look around you. Who around you tries to control you and your success? Who around you tries to stop you from bouncing? Who tries to throw negative energy, statements and actions your way? Those people feel dark, "small and sorry" inside and want you to join them.
 
I have been there. Over my lifetime I have encountered people who could not bear it that I always found something to smile about, something to be positive about -- and that even if things went horribly wrong, they soon went wonderfully right because that was the kind of energy I put out.
 
Once, I traveled by airplane to participate in a spirituality exhibition. I was supposed to be picked up at he airport, but there was a very spiritually dark woman there who I had once tried to befriend. We lived in the same city and could have become great friends but she was a Rabbit, wanting to be in control and she would do dark competitive things to others, then wonder why she had no actual friends who KNEW her. I wished her well in my head and realized we would never be on the same upward path. I was heading more intensely into my coaching career and I needed to keep my focus there.
 
For this particular event, she was also going and had arrived earlier than me but did not want me to participate because she felt I outshone her. To try to "jab" me she convinced my host not to pick me up at the airport. I was told when I got to the airport, to take find and take the subway system out to the suburbs. The next morning before the exhibition we would then go do some activities. I had a number of bags and ended up not only missing my stop, when I did get off, I left a crucial bag on the subway car. Wonderfully my bag was almost immediately turned into lost and found! But then the next day, things got wild. Instead of being able to go have the fun morning that was planned, we (including my Pooh host and the Rabbit person who connived to prevent me from being picked up at the airport), were forced to spend 3-4 hours retrieving my bag from the transportation company. I was in good spirits and so very pleased at getting my bag returned immediately and intact. But as I reflected after getting home, the others around me were desperately sad, frustrated, and one person was roiling with dark anger over being unable to control everyone. Over the course of that weekend she not only tried to have me abandoned at the airport, she slapped another woman in the face, bashed into me at a restaurant hoping to knock me over, made racist remarks, and behaved darkly all weekend. I noticed the shift in energy when I got in the car at the airport for my drive to my next destination.
 
I was Tigger that entire weekend and never got lost. I kept my integrity, my ethics, my intentions and my focus on success and a positive path even when my Rabbit convinced Pooh to try to lose me in the woods. I knew then, as I know now, that in order to be successful I did not need to take anything from anyone -- and I was right.
 
I have gone on to achieve my goals of becoming a coach, and spiritual advisor, of living in two different countries, of (working towards) a Ph.D. in Psychology, and some other things. Like Tigger, I kept bouncing and never let her or anyone else pull me down.
 
If you are to keep to YOUR calling, and stay on YOUR path, you must remember that like Tigger, even if someone deviously plots to take you into dangerous woods and lose you there, you will never get lost. Why? Because you will remember your calling and get back on your path and notice lovely things in the woods along the way....as you bounce your way on your journey! Start practicing being a Tigger - unique, special, directed, positive and progressively moving forward! Abundance comes easily and effortlessly to Tiggers. Positive thinking comes easily to Tiggers and has a visible effect. Great success comes to Tiggers.
 
You have so much to offer the world -- it will take all your Tiggerness to achieve it. If you know the tune, here is a great song to sing to keep your Tiggerness in mind:
 
The wonderful thing about Tiggers
 Is Tiggers are wonderful things.
 Their tops are made of rubbers
 The bottoms are made of springs.
 They're Bouncy,
 Flouncy,
 Trouncy,
 Pouncy,
 Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!!!
The wonderful thing about Tiggers
 Is I'm the only one
 
 I'm the only one !
 
 
If you want to work with me on empowering and improving your life through coaching -- bringing out your unique and wonderful Tiggerness -- contact me.
 
To your success!
 
Barrett

Copyright ©  LBPI/Healing Universe

L. Barrett Powell is an international coach and cultural trainer/consultant with an academic background and experience in psychology, theology and journalism. Barrett's focus is on Success  Coaching incorporating the Law of Attraction. She lives and works with individuals and inter-cultural organizations in the USA and Europe as a coach, coordinator and trainer. Contact her by email.

posted by Specialwoman | 0 Comments
Filed Under: , ,

Your Financial Thermostat

Oprah Winfrey’s and Donald Trump’s is set to “Billionaire”

Where is yours?

What I am asking is “Where is your financial thermostat set?”

We all have one and it is set for “Poverty”, or “Struggle”, or “Striving” or “Not Enough” or “Millionaire” or “Billionaire” etc.

When it is cold in your home in winter you set the thermostat on high so that you get and stay warm.

In order to keep money flowing well through your life you must set your financial thermostat to “high”.

Wealth and abundance either are or are not in your life because of your financial thermostat.

Take a look at your life to see where your thermostat is set. Your beliefs and thoughts about money are evident in the life you live and your surrounds. You either struggle to pay bills or you easily write checks and do not have any concerns about “making ends meet”.

Your financial thermostat is hardwired into you like a master blueprint. You follow that blueprint every moment of your day, keeping yourself at the level you have decided you are “allowed” to live financially. You can have a poverty consciousness or a wealth consciousness.

When you have a poverty conscious it means that even if you receive an inheritance or win the lottery, you ultimately end up struggling to pay the rent or mortgage because your beliefs and thoughts about money are so low that you do things to remove the money from your life. You set your financial thermostat to “Not Enough” or “Poverty” or “Just Getting By”.


Resetting and Raising Your Financial Thermostat
This is not acceptable to people who want to be successful. What you want to do is reset your financial thermostat by changing your money blueprint. You want your financial thermostat to be set at “Midas Touch”.

Again, Donald Trump was more than $2 billion in debt at one point, but once again, as we have known him to do, he was back on top with an estimated net worth of $5 billion. That is because he has his financial thermostat set for “Billionaire”: he thinks and believes he deserves billions and he knows he will receive it. He does not give up when there are obstacles and he has no doubt about being a billionaire. It is the level of money what he desires to have in his life.

When you reset your financial thermostat for “Midas Touch” you may have financial setbacks but you will cruise through them and regain or surpass your high financial setting.

To reset and raise your financial thermostat you must examine the childhood beliefs you have about money – you financial blueprint.

We are taught some rather sick, weird and false things about money as children – things such as “money is the root of all evil”, rich people cannot go to heaven”, “rich people are greedy”, “being poor is holy and means you are closer to God”, “having a lot of money means you have done something bad”, “rich people are crooked”, “you can only have money is you work very hard”, “money doesn’t grow on trees” etc. Worse yet, we are taught these things by people we love, want to be friends with, or admire.

By believing these things you have set you financial thermostat to “Scarcity”, “Poverty”, “Not Enough” and other money-dissolving levels.

As an adult you can change your money blueprint and reset your financial thermostat by doing the following:

First, create a new blueprint in which you are the mastermind of your financial life. Name yourself as a Winner, Hero and see yourself as a positive and successful person.

Second, substitute old, tired, limiting beliefs with empowering, positive affirmations that you SAY ALOUD such as:**
 
I can be, do, and have anything I desire
Money works hard for me
I always have more than I need
I live in an abundant universe and I deserve all it offersI am an excellent money manager.
Money brings good things into my life

**Do this specially for the next 40 days

Third, commit yourself to being financially successful. State the level of prosperity you desire, the amount of money you want in your life on an annual basis decide that no matter what, you will achieve it. Know that you are a Money Magnet.

Fourth, keep a Prosperity Journal and write down every penny, nickel, dollar etc that comes to you in any form/ Then tell the Universe you are grateful for it, and feel that gratitude in your heart.
 
Fifth, associate with great, positive, successful people. Read books, attend seminars and spend time with like-minded people. Do not spend time with people who are negative about life and specifically negative about money. You must surround yourself with people who encourage you to believe in yourself, in being successful and in being rich. If you are around people who give you the silent treatment, or strange looks, or outright negative comments when you talk about your financial goals, get away from these people. You will notice they have financial struggles and a low financial thermostat setting of “Not Enough”. By being negative in these ways, they are attempting to make sure you stay right down there with them. Sometimes they have the audacity to laugh at you and question you as to why you would think you can have wealth in life when they have known you to be poor. They do not want you to be successful, even if they say they do.


Success is Yours
Now that you have decided to change your money blueprint, and both reset and raise your financial thermostat, you will see change. You are set for “Wealth”, “Millionaire”, “Billionaire”, and other high financial settings”

Be happy about this and keep moving upwards.

If you need assistance in working to rest and raise your financial thermostat, coach with me and get the partnering, support and empowerment you need to deal with your poverty consciousness, and transform it into a wealth consciousness.

To your success!
Barrett

Copyright ©  LBPI/Healing Universe

L. Barrett Powell is an international coach and cultural trainer/consultant with an academic background and experience in psychology, theology and journalism. Barrett's focus is on Success  Coaching incorporating the Law of Attraction. She lives and works with individuals and inter-cultural organizations in the USA and Europe as a coach, coordinator and trainer. Contact her by email.

posted by Specialwoman | 0 Comments
Filed Under: , ,

Expat Living: Learn the Language

A year ago you were dreaming of living in your quaint apartment in Paris, working part-time at a bookstore, visiting the Provence countryside on leisurely weekends, walking through the Latin Quarter, enjoying the art in the Louvre and the Picasso Museum, having coffee with new-hound French friends at a sidewalk café and sharing delicious meals at a funky bistro. You would be taking classes and meeting exciting new people.

Now, a year later, you dread waking up and when you do you look around your cramped apartment and sigh. Your neighbors and those you pass on the street irritate and anger you every word they say and you find yourself disgusted by the customs people observe at the market, the café any just about anywhere. The part-time job at the bookstore never materialized as you did not have the grasp of the French language you needed. People are not very outgoing and you find you no longer eat at a café or bistro much because eating alone is not enjoyable.

You sleep nearly 10 hours a night and an hour or two when you can during the day. You feel isolated. You feel lost and without identity. You wonder how much longer you can take it, and you avoid outside contact as much as possible.

Culture Shock
You are suffering from culture shock, and your mental health has been affected. You have depression and anxiety. The symptoms of depression expatriates often experience include difficulty concentrating, irritability, increased tiredness, memory problems and significant changes in eating and sleeping patterns such as insomnia or sleeping longer the 8-9 hours a night n addition to naps during the day. The symptoms of anxiety can manifest as an inability to stay focused, a constant vague feeling that something is wrong or feelings of fear that you cannot connect to anything.

This is not uncommon for expatriates. Culture shock is a very serious issue and one’s mental health is at the center of life for an expatriate. Mental health is about who you are but also about knowing who you are. It is about your identity. We create our identity in large part through our relationship with and to our surroundings. When the surroundings are so different or we are unable to adapt to them, we lose our sense of identity. This is a wound, and the Your healing will come from connecting with the culture by learning the language.

For an expatriate, it is vital to know how to engage your environment – to learn the language, to learn te culture and to do simple everyday tasks. You want to be able to do simple things like cook and shop for the supplies you need to do that. You want to be able to set up a household, to find things to do in your leisure time and to make new friends.

This may be difficult or easy, depending on the culture. In some places, like Denmark, natives have a group of friends they have known closely all their lives because they were in the same class all through school. This results in them not being extremely open to making new friends (inviting you to social gatherings or coffee etc). They are socially cordial, but new Danish friend are hard to come by unless you have a Danish boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse. In that case, you inherit their friends, who are open to you because they know the Danish mate or spouse. That’s when you get to experience real Danish hygge (coziness).

Easing the Shock: Learn the Language
Prior to moving to a new country, find out all you can about language classes. If possible, save money fr a private tutor and/or for classes that may cost money (they can be expensive is not). Once you arrive, immerse yourself in language learning.

When I learned French in 14 months, I took 2 3-hours classes per week during the academic year and 5 4-hour classes each week during the summer. I met one hour per day for five days with a tutor, went to a language lab 1 hour a day, watched at least one French movie or French-subtitled movie per day and along with classmates went to see French movie at the local theatre whenever they came out. This was in addition to practicing with my classmates and doing at least 2 hours of homework per night. In short, I embraced the language which helped me embrace the culture.

Either before you leave for your new home, or after you arrive, you can also order language programs for your computer or audiotapes that you can listen to at various times of the day.

The Good, the Bad and the Future
Remember that you will have good days and bad days in your new country. On the “bad days” when you are hit hardest with culture shock and its accompanying depression and/or anxiety, treat yourself gently: Watch DVD/films from home, hang out with other expatriates and go to a club, bar, tavern or other hangout where there are people from your native country.

On the "good days", immerse yourself in some language study. It gets the brain waves flowing and the synapses sparking, which helps to decrease depression. Through the language you will learn more about the culture and the little things you learn while doing it will come to you when you do everyday tasks or when you hear a conversation.

Soon you will be speaking the language, even if badly at first, and enjoying conversations and interactions with natives! You will find it easier to get a job and to make new friends to have coffee with at that sidewalk cafe!
******
Are you an expatriate trying to adjust to your new life? Contact me to start your Expat Coaching program today so you can thrive in your new life!
posted by Specialwoman | 0 Comments
Filed Under:

Outrageous Living -- Learning to Live on More

When people are tightening their belts, home values have dropped, the stock market has plummeted and credit is nearly impossible to find you know it is necessary to make changes. However, just because we live in the New Normal era,  your mind should not be focused on living in poverty. Your mind should be focused on living in abundance and outrageously so. You can make that your goal and make it happen by taking certain steps.
 
You may think this is impossible but that is because you are not accustomed to thinking in the Certain Way necessary to achieve success. How can you actually live abundantly when there is less? How can you enjoy the pleasures of life when there is a global financial crisis?
 
Here is how:
 
Make lists. You must make three lists. The first one is income and expenses. You need to know what is coming in and going out so write down your income and then list your major basic expenses in detail: food, shelter, loans, utilities and guess what percentage of your income goes to pay those. The second list should contain those same expenses and what percentage you desire to spend on those items. The third list must show exactly what actual percentage is being spent on those items. If the third list does not match up to the second, adjust your spending.
 
Use savings. If you have money put away, now is the time to take out some. To assist with monthly bills and a few small indulgences which are worth paying for even in a tight economy.
 
Eat well. Limit dining out to once a week and use the money you formerly spent on it to buy a basic cookbook, one of your favorite type of food, and ingredients for making fabulous dishes at home. Before you go shopping, eat well and make a list, so you do not make impulse purchases. You can eat the leftovers for lunch the next day or as starter for something else. In fact, pack delicious lunches for yourself.
 
Drink at home with friends. There are many discount beverage stores. Go to one and buy the sparkling water, teas, beers, specialty coffees and alcohol you like at much cheaper prices than at a regular store or bar. Invite friends over to make it a social event and put out some snacks.
 
Enjoy the Summer. Pack a tasty picnic lunch and go to the park. Do most of your cooking on the outside grill (fish, meats and vegetables) and serve cold vegetable and fruit salads. You can also make pasta and other things outside that require being heated in a heavy pot if you grill is big/strong enough.
 
Use the park’s natural running paths and soft grass for exercising. Yoga, tai chi and other martial arts can be done outdoors. Exercising on a mat on the grass gives is good cushioning and running on dirt is better for your knees than running on cement. It certainly is more scenic than a treadmill.
 
Make sure you go outside everyday for at least an hour and get some sunshine because it raises your serotonin levels and that makes you feel quite happy and able to see the possibilities of the day!
 
Stay warm in Winter. Put on the thermal underwear, flannels and sweats to keep personally insulated, then turn down the thermostat. Keep up with your full rent or mortgage payment and communicate with the landlord or lender if you need to make an adjustment.

Take regular bubble baths. Relaxing the body reduces mental stress and expands your ability to better enjoy life. You can purchase cheap bubble bath gels, bath salts and oils. You can also use homemade bath salts that can be made inexpensively (1 cup Epsom salts, 1 cup sea salt, 1 tablespoon of essential oils or perfume, and if you like, some food coloring). You can even make a large batch of this in your kitchen and put it in jars to give as gifts to friends.
 
Be touched. We need our bodies to be touched in order to thrive. It slows down our blood pressure and brings us inner peace and relaxation. Look in local magazines for discount coupons on foot massages and reflexology or full body massages at massage training schools. Check around for inexpensive nail salons. I know salons where you can get both a manicure and a pedicure, in a clean shop, for $20.
 
Take an Asian vacation. Keeping your mind focused on peace and the positive is easy to do when you take an Eastern direction. Use a DVD or find a free class and learn yoga, tantra, or tai chi – or all of them. Practice them at least 3 days a wee. Listen to soothing oriental music (can you hear the woodflutes?).
 
Host movie night. If you are not already a member, join an inexpensive service like Netflix and or run to the local video store and get 2-3 DVDs. Make some homemade popcorn and invite friends and family to join you for movie night.
 
Use free pleasures. Speaking of movies, take advantage of the free DVDs, CDs and books at your public library. You pay for them with your taxes so why not indulge? 
 
 
If you would like partnering and support in changing your mindset so that you can change your life (get financially free, enjoy life more, become more creative, be abundant and more) start coaching with me today! Coaching is $1200 for 3 hours to use as you desire.
 
To your success!
 
Barrett 

Copyright ©  LBPI/Healing Universe

L. Barrett Powell is an international coach and cultural trainer/consultant with an academic background and experience in psychology, theology and journalism. Barrett's focus is on Success  Coaching incorporating the Law of Attraction. She lives and works with individuals and inter-cultural organizations in the USA and Europe as a coach, coordinator and trainer. Contact her by email.

posted by Specialwoman | 0 Comments
Filed Under: ,

Are You Pushing Too Hard?

This was the year you were going to manifest more money into your life, exercise more and lose weight, get a better social life, buy your dream house, find a job, get the money to attend your family reunion, get rid of your clutter, eat better, take a decent vacation, etc.

 

You decided what you wanted, visualized, acted as if had had already received what you wanted.

 

In the end the result was… NOTHING.

 

There has been no strong flow of money into your bank account, your closets are just as disorganized and cluttered, you cannot afford a ticket to your family reunion, you have gained 10 pounds, your dream house is nowhere in sight, you are unemployed and you do not have a good group of friends.

 

Everyday you try harder. You ask yourself why it is not working when you are trying so hard. You ask yourself why, if you are doing everything right, is it not working? Why do you not yet have what you desire?

 

But…could it be that the answer it you are trying too hard? Trying too hard reveals that you are impatient and in that impatient you want circumstances and people to be to be different. You are too attached to that demand. It is revealing you are resisting change by accepting things the way they are. At this point you start focusing on what you do not want. You are trying too hard to be perfect.

 

You then begin resisting these feelings and being frustrated because things are not perfect. This feeling of imperfection is energy that is blocking what you want to manifest because that that energy of perfection is RESISTANCE.

 

By resisting the natural flow of people and circumstances you are operating against the natural and universal Law of Allowing.

 

The Law of Allowing says that when you let energy flow on its natural course it will eventually be attracted to you and flow in your desired direction. In order to allow this natural flow you must not push against it.

 

Change feels different. Different can feel uncomfortable. It is like putting on new clothes from the store. Things are a little stiff at first but you quickly adjust and see how good the clothes look on you.

 

Change means we must stop resisting and start allowing.

 

 

STOP RESISTANCE. START ALLOWING

 

How do you put and end to RESISTANCE and start ALLOWING what you desire to come to you?


Surrender. Abandon the fight. Stop demanding that you know everything, have everything, and look picture perfect while doing everything “just right”. Stop telling yourself you are too busy and learn to appreciate what you have already done, sit down and relax!

 

When you open yourself to receiving instead of resisting your body and mind relax. You lose the fight or flight response of defensiveness. You stop being impatient with people and angry about the lack of visible appearance of your desire. You become aligned with the Universe and what you desire manifests easily because you are letting the Universe take care of it, instead of you trying to control it.

In practical terms this means that you allow people the freedom to be who they are and circumstances to be what they are. You do not “wage a war” against them, fight or resist, even passively. To do so means you are trying to change them.

 

You are not here in this lifetime to change anyone. We are a diverse world. When you try to change others you create the opposite of what you desire. Accept others as they are; accept that others believe differently than you do. The only person you can successfully change is you. You can change how you relate to other people and how you relate to circumstances.

 

By changing yourself and the way you relate to people you modify the way they relate to you because you are transforming the energy flow between them and you. By changing the way you feel about and deal with circumstances you change the relationship between a situation and you, because you change the energy. In accepting others as they are, you allow them to grow and to learn for themselves. The Law of Allowing loves diversity!

 

Diversity is not perfection. Diversity allows people to be themselves.

 

When we feel resistance to not doing our best, that is, to not being perfect, we can decide to not do our best – and some of us will then do nothing, feel guilty about it and lose our passion.

 

When you put forth discouraged, depressed, passionless energy like a deflated balloon, you get back from the Universe that same vibration – uninspired, passionless results that you do not want.

 

When a situation is not what you want you can choose to maintain your joy and your peace or feel impatient, angry and frustrated. You cannot change the circumstances. You can only change how you feel about the situation. You can choose to feel positive about what you have and what you are able to do. You can choose to feel good about the lessons you are learning through the circumstances taking place. You may not have a plane ticket to get to your family reunion but you can transform the energy of the situation for yourself by visualizing how wonderful the reunion will be for everyone attending and feeling happy about that. You can visualize yourself 20 lbs thinner and wearing smaller clothing sizes. You can focus on the ways you can be the kind of person you would like to have in your expanded social circle.

 

You have the power to allow everything you want to come into your life.

 

To your success!

 

Barrett


Copyright ©  LBPI/Healing Universe

L. Barrett Powell is an international coach and cultural trainer/consultant with an academic background and experience in psychology, theology and journalism. Barrett's focus is on Success  Coaching incorporating the Law of Attraction. She lives and works with individuals and inter-cultural organizations in the USA and Europe as a coach, coordinator and trainer. Contact her by email.

posted by Specialwoman | 0 Comments
Filed Under:

Eight Qualities of Successful People

#1: Balance
When you are imbalanced you feel tense, uncomfortable, and lack peace. Because of this you cannot find inner harmony and make decisions from a calm state of being. You consequently regret decisions you make while imbalanced. To exist in a state of balance is to be calm, stable and in a centered place where you can apply the right amount of emotion and rationality to make sound decisions and judgments.
 
#2: Harmony
Harmony is an inner agreement integrating understanding, emotion and conduct. It is evident in an obvious congruity between what you think, feel, say, and do.
 
#3: Joy
Joy is a constant state of well-being and contentment. Joy is not happiness. Happiness comes and goes with circumstances. Joy is a constant and results from being in balance and harmony with yourself. Joy exists internally even when external situations are not what is desired. Joy results in being an approachable person. It results in being open to new situations and remaining optimistic when there are challenges. Joy sees possibilities and alternative solutions. Joy results in the courage to face the future.
 
#4: Courage
Courage is the capacity to face uncertainty, challenges, pain or danger and deciding to continue with your chosen course of action. Courage empowers you to speak your truth in the face of opposition.
 
#5: Generosity
Generosity is about giving people more than they give you in exchange and knowing when to do it so it benefits both you and the other person. It is not about giving of you time, emotions and money and getting nothing in return. It is about having the power to understand that what you are giving is coming from a source beyond yourself and you are the human vessel through which it is being given. You do not give what you do not have. You give out of your abundance, time, talent and money through your heart. You give out of love, not guilt, embarrassment or obligation. You feel enriched through the giving, not depleted.
 
#6: Organization
The universe needs a clear path into your life to bring in abundance and wealth. Organization is the ability to keep things in such an orderly sate that you know how to retrieve anything and everything you need. This means you have a filing system for your important documents, your money is organized within your walled and you know exactly how much money you have in it at any given time, your books are organized and stored on shelves, your car is clean and not being used as a storage bin or garbage can, your closets are organized and neat, you have all the resources you need to keep your home, car, and business clean, and you take responsibility to put things back in their place when you are done with them. You also clean out your closets and shelves on a regular bass to make room for new things. Wealth eludes those who do not care enough to stay organized. The organized person both starts a task (book, project, assignment etc), and finishes it. Organization includes cleanliness and order and is a powerful character marker.
 
#7: Wisdom
Wisdom is a combination of self-knowledge, intuition, education and experience. The wise person is able to make sound judgments because self-knowledge gained has been gained from the other six qualities -- balance, harmony, joy, courage, generosity, and organization. You tap into your self-knowledge and your core beliefs, and draw upon your intuition, education and experience. You choose to what is right and best rather than what is easy.
 
#8: Excellence
Excellence is the cumulative portrait of a confident and accomplished person who has incorporated the other seven qualities into her/his life. This is a portrait of a person who is in control of her/his destiny. This is a person who is going places – a some great places they will be!
 
If this is the kind of person you would like to be, coach with me to gain the skills and get the support you need.
 
To your success!
 
Barrett

Copyright ©  LBPI/Healing Universe

L. Barrett Powell is an international coach and cultural trainer/consultant with an academic background and experience in psychology, theology and journalism. Barrett's focus is on Success  Coaching incorporating the Law of Attraction. She lives and works with individuals and inter-cultural organizations in the USA and Europe as a coach, coordinator and trainer. Contact her by email.

posted by Specialwoman | 0 Comments
Filed Under: ,

Make the Most of Each Day

"I wish I had been kinder"

"I wish I could tell her I love her one more time"

"Why didn't I give him a hug when we last saw each other?"

Statements like these are so common after tragedy strikes. We think about how we could have made a little more effort and shown a little more love, compassion, care etc. if we had only taken an extra moment or two.

Life gets so very busy and we find ourselves wrapped up in the tiny details of life.We become concerned about the little things in life. In some sense they are important -- we want our spouse to not leave his dirty underwear on the bathroom floor, our children to wipe their feet before they come intothe house and our roommate to not eat our leftover Chinese food.

It is also true that it is important that  our spouse realize he needs to not live like a filthy frat boy who expects a maid to clean up once a week, our children need to slow down at times and remember to be easy on the carpets, and our roommate need to be respectful and not eat food she didn't buy.

These small things can lead to BIG arguments and those heated exchanges can involves words and actions we may regret.

We may refuse to hug our child, kiss our spouse or we may think about throttling our roommate.

But what is the extraordinary and unusual happens and while separated that day, that other person is seriously injured or killed. Or if that does not happen, we take the negative vibe of that conversation and let it affect the remiander of our day. Our day and/or night goes downhill.

I urge you, to put things in perspective. Say something about the issue and try to work out a plan to live together and not drive each other crazy -- then drop it. Do not take the negativity into the next moment. Intentionally saerch for something good to say and/or think about the person and focus on it. Tell that person you love her, give him that hug and gently and jointly decide how to handle the communication between the kids and you.

Focus on something good in that day and take it with you. Make the most of every day you have because you never know how many days you or the people in your life have. Your next moment could be your last memory, so make it a good one. And when you awaken the next day and all is still secure in your world, be thankful.

To your success!

Barrett


Copyright ©  LBPI/Healing Universe

L. Barrett Powell is an international coach and cultural trainer/consultant with an academic background and experience in psychology, theology and journalism. Barrett's focus is on Success  Coaching incorporating the Law of Attraction. She lives and works with individuals and inter-cultural organizations in the USA and Europe as a coach, coordinator and trainer. Contact her by email.

posted by Specialwoman | 0 Comments
Filed Under: ,

The Death of Michael Jackson

Dear Readers,

I am, like I am sure millions of people are, absolutely devastated by the sudden death of Michael Jackson. This morning I find myself blasting Jackson 5 and Michael Jackson songs over and over while doing a walking/grieving dance and sobbing. "I'll Be There". "ABC". "Dancing Machine". "Billie Jean" "Bad" "Human Nature"..... I must grind, shake, sway and sing to wring out the sorrow and the anger.

He is one of the persons I have feared for in the 49-52 year old Chiron Return age group under Chiron in Aquarius because I know when there is too much pain.....too much blocked and unexpressed emotion at this time of life, you are a very high risk of a (fatal) heart attack. The Chiron Return time is when you can either get to leave your legacy or you get taken out of this realm.

Ohhhhhh, I grew up listening to and watching him and his brothers. He is older than me and I dreamt as a little girl that he would somehow find me and dance/sing me away to someplace wonderful.... I remember when the "Off the Wall" album debuted on TV, nearly 3 dozen of us jammed into one living room to watch the screen. We knew we were seeing groundbreaking history!! And when he moonwalked on the Motown special...."Billie Jean" and "Thriller"......

 
This was a mindblowing, extraorindarily talented genius.

This man MADE the music channel MTV.

This man was an incredible humanitarian.

And how my heart broke over the year as I watch him get embroiled in those  tragic child molestation situations,  various lawsuits and financial troubles and surrounded by people who did not help save him from himself. Where were his famous friends? Why didn't any of them forcibly get him private psychological help? Celebrities have been forcibly put into treatment for things? Oh my god how crushing this was because I could see it standing in the way of all the good with which he was gifting the WORLD with his music, his entertainment skills, his business acumen and his philanthropy.

I was also troubled by people's fascination, as gets done to Virgos often, with his virginal lifestyle and apparent awkward and very private sexuality and intimate life. It was no one's business who he was having sex with and how, outside of a community need to address anything involving children, of course.

It was not hard to see he was in turmoil, with what was happening with his body...from the surgeries and changes of skin pigmentation to the accidents that broke bones and set his hair on fire...and the dramatic weight loss.

I recognized, as another Virgo what it is like to be gifted and have people be jealous and do anything they could to try to make you out to be an imperfect, deeply flawed and worthless individual when humanitarian and compassionate goals at at the core of you. I have had other intuitives, and telephone (and only telephone, never in-person) callers be absolutely disgustingly vicious to me because they could not bear it that I am both a beautiful and talented woman who get many blessings in life as I journey. These people felt they had to lie and make up reasons to attack me or to try to minimize my success. I learned to keep to myself, focus on the best me, refine my talents and be very selective about who I let into my personal life. I learned to ignore nasty false criticism in the form of Internet feedback when I realized it was not actually "real". I primarily do success coaching and private astrology consultations now because I am D*** good at it (I am sure that is upsetting some folks that I can be honest and say that aloud) and I can be very selective about working with people. I can choose to spend my time with people who are honestly looking live their best life. I also keep a small inner circle of real friends and guard my private time so I can rest and have leisure.

I recognized long ago Michael Jackson was showing all the characteristics we Virgos show when we can no longer take the  horrific pain of other people's machinations, criticisms, gossip, and cruelty: The Virgo becomes very withdrawn and eccentric, separates from anyone who could cause pain, has very little trust in people except for perhaps innocent children, and pours their emotions into some artistic talent such as music, writing or painting.

Astrologically, there are lessons to learn here from natal and transiting Chiron,  and transiting Neptune and a few other things in his cart. But I will come back to it when I can compose myself....

For now.....you can search my blog for the Chiron in Aquarius two-part series to give you some clue......about a natal wound in being different from others/unique/unusual. Other clues I can give you right now are about Neptune, Neptune in Aquarius, Aquarius in general, Saturn in Virgo and Virgo in general.

It collectively and individually angers me that Michael Jackson was beaten up in this lifetime for not fitting into this world so he did the best to create a world he could live in...but in the end, it appears the distress of it all wore out his body, stopped his heart and killed him on the eve of his legacy-leaving tour. I should note however, the already has left us a great legacy....

But, we - WE in the human community -- helped develop the weaker aspects of Michael Jackson with our insistence that the unusual, different and exceptionally talented are unacceptably weird and open for derision and criticism. Clearly he had childhood wounds and some of us did all we could to make him feel more pain with our criticism and gossip. While Michale Jackson had to take responsibility for his actions (and I am angry that he did not just steer clear of children) -- we are all connected and that pain and sorrow blocked up in his heart did not happen in isolation!!

In a very real sense I am glad he is dead and no more will be here to live such a pain-filled life anymore. Yes truly, and not as a trite saying, rest in peace Michael Jackson.

So there.......I must go finish my grieving dance and come to terms so I can look at this astrologically for you.
 

Barrett


Copyright ©  LBPI/Healing Universe

L. Barrett Powell is an international coach and cultural trainer/consultant with an academic background and experience in psychology, theology and journalism. Barrett's focus is on Success  Coaching incorporating the Law of Attraction. She lives and works with individuals and inter-cultural organizations in the USA and Europe as a coach, coordinator and trainer. Contact her by email.

Dating and the Midlife Woman: The Cougar?

It made weekend box-office records and surprised people: the new romantic comedy The Proposal. It features 44-year old Sandra Bullock in the starring role, and her on-screen love interest is 32-year old Ryan Reynolds. Bullock even has her first nude scene, something she did not do in any of her on-screen roles during her 20s and 30s. The messge is that “even" in her 40s, a woman is “hot”. The publicity around the film, however, makes no mention of Bullock’s and Reynold’s age difference and the studio would not talk about it in an interview.

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins. These are a few of the more prominent (and successful) real-life known pairings of midlife women and younger men. The women in these real-life relationships are now being labelled as “cougars”.

A New Label for Women
Labeling people and putting them in categories is a common way of dehumanizing them, of not seeing them as human beings, of objectifying them. Once you have an animal or object labeled, especially as an animal or mythical/fantasy entity, then you have them under control and contained. They are simple, not complex as are real humans. Now, you can decide what to do with them and you need not treat them with the respect and consideration you would give a human. Women have historically been categorized as in generalizations such as the symbolic triumvirate of The Virgin/Saint, The Mother and the Whore.

Cougars do not fit into the first two categories. That leaves Whore.

 
Defining the Cougar
But what IS a cougar? A cougar is generally considered to be a woman of 35 or older who seeks out romantic or sexual relationships with younger men. She is supposed to be an overtly sexual woman over 35 who seeks out men for sex – but doesn’t want commitment, cohabitation or children. The term “cougar” implies predation, manipulaton, cunning behavior, sneakiness, and attacking. It implies a woman is an animal with sharp claws, a deceitful nature and a creature who is sex-starved or over-sexed.

Some related definitions I came across are “cougar-juiced” and “cougar dens”.

“Cougar-juiced” is a term men use to describe having been (successfully) preyed upon by a midlife woman..and “juicing” her is the ephemism for the man’s sexual conquest of her

“Cougar dens” are parties arranged for the purpose of putting together midlife women and younger men for sexual hookups.

Looking at these common definitions and ascriptions, is the “cougar” what women 35 and older want to be -- not a human being with a life, but a sexually predatory animal who is driven by sexual organs and desires and having sex that she “should not be having”?

There are no special terms for single, sexual men. They’re usually just called men. If a man meets a woman and has sex with her he is praised as “lucky”. Single, sexual men tend to be categorized and praised in terms of their job status, their income, their sexual power and their sports achievements. If a 47-year old man is dating or having sex with a 28-year old woman he is lauded for sexual virility and power.

Single, sexual women are labelled derogatorily in terms of their sexuality. The labels infer that for midlife women being sexual is not societally acceptable and normal. It is inferred to be an aberration, unnatural, and not something positive, healthy and human. Midlife woman are viewed in terms of a negative sexuality. It is not so long ago that women were considered to be sexually dried up, void, unsatisfying, unsatisfied and dysfunctional by the time she reached the age of 40 and/or was unable to bear children. She was likely someone’s wife and if she was having a fulfilling sex life she was not fulfilling the expected role of Virgin/Saint or Mother. She was left with The Whore label, whether spoken or unspoken.


The Midlife Woman in the Media
Is the “cougar” a media-created and media-driven trend that will fade from view? Could the “cougar” be extinct by Summer 2010?

Popular television shows like Sex and the City, Brothers and Sisters, Damages and The Closer portray midlife women as confident, intelligent, atactive working women with personal and professional lives. There is a new television show called Cougartown, in which Courtney Cox portrays a sex-starved housewife (although the media whisper is a prediction of early cancellation). There is also an upcoming reality dating show called The Cougar.

The Hollywood film industry jumped on the bandwagon last year, opening Summer 2008 with Sex and the City: The Movie, a film which garnered the largest opening in history for a film centerd solely on women. This seems to be continuing with several films for Summer 2009: In My Life in Ruins, there is no mention of age difference as Nia Vardalos (46) seduces Alexis Georgoulis (34), In Cheri, Michelle Pfeiffer (51) enjoys a romantic and sexual relationship with a man, Rupert Friend (27), who is nearly half her age. The film The Rebound, centers on a May-September dating relationship between Catherine Zeta-Jones (39) and a 25 year old man. In Julie & Julia, Meryl Streep (60) plays real-life culinary superstar Julia Child while the younger Stanley Tucci (49), portrays her husband.


Real-life Midlife Women
Women ages 35 and older as a group are more confident, pre-occupied with their lives, busy working on their careers and not consumed with giving up their lives to support a man in his pursuit of his goals and dreams. They are more relaxed in their bodies and comfortable with their sexuality, not letting it be dictated by men and men’s fantasies. They are not centered on trying to look like a supermodel or Playboy bunny. They know their bodies and their minds and do not get confused and forget who they are because a man pays attention to them. They generally know not to listen to what a man says rather to, instead, watch what he does.

In real-life, a significant number of men prefer the midlife woman between the ages of 35 and 60 who is somewhere between approximately 10-20 years older. What is appealing to these men is the stability of an older woman and the confidence, the lack of game-playing. The modern midlife woman also tends to be very young at heart because midlife has evolved, and the consequence is women ages 35 and older have better and more life options. Midlife women living in developed nations in today’s world have access to better healthcare, more control over their bodies and their sexuality, and better exercise options


Your Relationship with a Younger Partner
If you are a midlife woman age 35 or older, you understand that you are not an animal, not a mythical or fantasy creature, not driven in life by your sexuality. You understand that you are a complex human adult female with a job/career, family, friends, choices, challenges, opinions, interests, and yes, a sexuality.

Choosing to be with a younger male partner is like choosing ANY male partner, including, what challenges you two might face regarding, for example, financial or healthcare issues; and what roles you allow the media, your family and you friends to play in your relationship.

Two areas I mentioned, namely healthcare and finances, are ones in which you will want to be especially attentive, as you will want to ensure that you remain financially in control of your resources. Women still do not make an equal income compared to men and any assets you have should be protected. Money and love have nothing to do with one another so do not assume the love you feel today will keep your money safe tomorrow. Women live longer than men and more senior citizen women live in poverty than men. Think about your retirement and guard your future. As far as healthcare, remember that as a midlife woman you have special issues and need to take good care of your body as you approach or go through menopause and other related and unrelated aging issues.

Remember, the midlife woman is a human being, not an animal (cougar) in control of her private relationship with a younger man.

And if all indications are true, the “cougar” media-hype trend will be extinct or at least hardly noticeable in the next year or so, and the relationships will endure. Just ask Susan and Tim, Demi and Ashton, and Goldie and Kurt.

To your success in life!
 
Barrett

Copyright ©  LBPI/Healing Universe

L. Barrett Powell is an international coach and cultural trainer/consultant with an academic background and experience in psychology, theology and journalism. Barrett's focus is on Success  Coaching incorporating the Law of Attraction. She lives and works with individuals and inter-cultural organizations in the USA and Europe as a coach, coordinator and trainer. Contact her by email.

posted by Specialwoman | 5 Comments
Filed Under: , ,

Weekend Wishes - June 21, 2009

Happy Summer Solstice!

 

I hope you do something wonderful to honor this celebration of the Sun, and the first official day of Summer!

 

Here is a listing of the blog articles from this week in case you missed them. Use them to recharge your life!

 

 

New Moon in Cancer – June 22, 2009

 

Cleansing Your Life (Part I)

 

Cleansing Your Life (Part II)

 

Thriving in the New Normal – It’s a S.N.A.P.

 

Practice Meat

 

The Aquarius Male, Part II

 

 

 

Practice Meat

A few times a year, every year, I brush off the patio furniture in the back yard, remove the cover from the propane gas barbecue and wipe it down. My friends begin to arrive; we break out the wine and beer, chips and salsa, deviled eggs and the pickle tray. I open the valve to the propane tank and then gingerly turn the knobs on the grill and standing back as far as I can, poke the button to ignite the flames. When I feel that sense of relief in the next few seconds that I am not on fire nor have I singed off my eyebrows, I do my best to adjust the flames and close the lid on the grill. Then I go inside and get the tray of practice meat.

 

This tray of practice meat is a great source of laughter for my friends. It is also a learning tool for me. I am determined to be as good cooking outdoors as I am indoors. I am not afraid of a challenge. With these two things in mind, I put the marinated and seasoned practice meat on the two levels of the grill and close it. My friends and I get to conversing, and eventually I check on it. This is the point at which the local fire department goes on standby alert. With flames jumping around the tongs and my entire upper body engulfed in smoke, I negotiate the knobs while flipping what will soon be blackened hockey pucks, hot dogs that resemble long pieces of coal, and zebra striped chunks of shrunken chicken legs. My friends shout suggestions and nearly double over in hysterics as the smoke rises higher and higher through the trees. After a few minutes, my eyes burning from the smoky inferno, my hair standing on end, stiffened with a mesquite coating, I get the flames and temperature where I want them. I remove the practice meat, and using another utensil, I scrape the remains off the grill. Then I go inside, get the steaks, burgers, chicken and mahi mahi we will eat, and load them onto the grill.

 

With each barbeque I have gotten better. The smoke has been less as has the amount of practice meat needed. I am achieving my goal.

 

Let me say here that I do not necessarily recommend my method of barbequing if you are faint of heart. If you are in the London area you may want to leave it to experts such as the wonderful Trevor Headly, owner of Sunshine Catering.

 

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

However, it is the push to be as successful a barbeque mistress as I am at being a consultant/coach, that makes me persist. Being successful takes practice.

 

From sports to business, it is a fact that applying yourself and practicing are what give you the edge. In order to learn a skill you must do it again and again. An athlete doesn’t expect to improve if she or he does not practice. A businessperson knows expertise is gained through the experience of practice.

 

So how do you make practice make perfect? Try this:

Find your passion. Life is short. Learn what you love and find a way to do it.. Commit with your heart, soul and your very essence. This passion will be apparent to your clients, customers, and employees. It will be evident in whatever product you are offering.

Intend to succeed. If failure is a possibly, then you will certainly fail and most likely it will be permanent. When you intend to success, when you put your intention it what you do that will not happen. Yes, you MAY fail but you will take that failure as feedback and try something else. Visualize what you want and make it manifest with every step you take.

Stay focused. Entrepreneurs, athletes, and businesspeople in general will tell you that you need to choose one thing you do well and do just that. Focusing on too many things only brings stress. The best athletes rarely success at more than one sport at a time. When they are playing, they stay focused. Look at golfer Tiger Woods. His father, Earl Woods, did everything from jingle change in his pocket to shout things at him when he swung his club, to distract him. Tiger learned to master himself and stay focused no matter what was happening around him, and has become world famous for his golfing prowess. Imagine what you would do and what your life would be like if you put this exact focus into your business!

 Be persistent. This goes along with focus. You must be willing to keep your dream. You may not win the first time, you may burn the practice meat a lot, but you will also his the mark and turn out some masterpieces. Give something a set period of time before you will turn away from it. That could be 30 days, six months or a year, for example.

Take risks. Let others laugh, let others complain, let other criticize…they will be doing it behind you as you move past them and onto success. Accept defeat, but realize it is temporary. Realize it also means you tried. Many do not. Every time you fall down, have a failure, suffer a setback, lose a deal etc. you have at least take a chance. The odds are sure that the more risks you take the better chance you have at reaching your goal.

Build your Dream Team. Everyone needs their own personal board of directors or research and development team. My friend’s provide valuable support and suggestions as I tackle that barbecue; others provide it when I have business ideas I wish to try. They believe in my dreams because they believe in me. Find those that support you and keep them close. Success is not achieved alone. Winning comes through sharing. Acknowledge and thank the members of your support team in life and business. Nurture those relationships, whether they are employees, business colleagues, family or friends.

Have fun! Throughout it all, you must enjoy. Not only is winning fun, having fun while doing something makes it more likely that you will succeed. Laughter is vital. Fun involves confidence, enthusiasm, and determination. If you hate your business/job/life it is time to find something else. As I said at the beginning, life is short. Make the most of it and have fun while you are doing it!

Wishing you success!

Barrett

 

 


Copyright ©  LBPI/Healing Universe

L. Barrett Powell is an international coach and cultural trainer/consultant with an academic background and experience in psychology, theology and journalism. Barrett's focus is on Success  Coaching incorporating the Law of Attraction. She lives and works with individuals and inter-cultural organizations in the USA and Europe as a coach, coordinator and trainer. Contact her by email.

posted by Specialwoman | 1 Comments
Filed Under:

Cleansing Your Life (Part II) - Removing Beliefs That No Longer Serve You

The Vernal Equinox at the end of March each year heralds the arrival of Spring and the promise of new life. Many of us start reviewing what we have in our drawers and closets, and what we have stored in the garage. We also survey what has happened in our yards over the winter. “Spring cleaning” is almost a rite for many of us. We are ready to face what has become a dead weight and remove it from our lives.

 

We are ready to do this with our material possessions – but are we ready to do it with ourselves? That is – are we ready to rid ourselves of the things and people we no longer need or which no longer serve us well? Are we ready to empty our emotional, spiritual and mental hidden closets and drawers?

 

Earlier I shared with you about dealing with the relationships in your life. This week I will share with you about cleansing ourselves of the “things” in life that no longer serve us well. It is now June and the Summer Solstice is this weekend so it is time to enjoy the remainder of the year without the baggage of things that prevent us from living to the full!

 

****

Those who become famous often have their private lives and histories investigated, dissected, displayed (and judged). Often this means we learn that a particular person may have been born into a background of economic impoverishment, domestic or street violence, and/or racially oppression – and did criminal, unethical or questionable things to survive and/or escape it. Those of us who have not been in such circumstances cannot truly speak to such things because we have no idea how we would handle it.

 

Nevertheless there is no one without a past and we can all be grateful for what we have learned from our life experiences. We all have one with situations that have shaped and defined us in the present. We all have “stuff”. Some of us carry a lot of painful “stuff”– spiritually, mentally and emotionally, that is sitting in huge bags in the bottom of the closet of our self. It is filling us the like an explosion of sticky pad notes inside a desk drawer

 

The dates you never had in high school – it’s a red sticky note covering your heart. Your parent’s divorce – it’s on a yellow stick note covering your solar plexus. Your 9th grade teacher who laughed at you when you didn’t know an answer in class – it’s on a blue sticky note, stuck to your throat.

 

Over time you have learned to have low expectations for intimate relationships, overdone freedom and independence because commitment to a relationship may result in divorce, and you decided to not speak your mind.  These defense mechanisms have served you well in the past – indeed they have protected you and prevented you from being hurt in many situations.

 

They have also prevented you from deeply and richly experiencing life.

 

Now it is time to spring clean and give your life some air – to take in life in deep breaths and find out what it has to offer and what you can contribute.

 

Your dreams of being successful and living a purposeful life can only be realized if you make room for new things. In fact, this is something we see many times with the famous people I spoke of earlier – they release their past beliefs and change their lives for the positive.

 

Here is how you can do this:

 

Take inventory. Get out your journal and a pen and start at the top of your self. Look at yourself. Envision all the sticky notes covering you. Start writing the beliefs on those notes that you have about yourself in each area of your life from top to bottom. They can be things such as “I am stupid” “No one wants to hear me talk.” “I am unattractive” or “I am not loveable.”

 

After you have written all the beliefs you hold about yourself, examine each one of them. Ask yourself:

 

  • Where did this idea come from?
  •  How did it serve me?
  •  Why is it still here?

 

 

After you have this information, it is time to release each belief. You do this by saying aloud:

 

“You got me to where I am today, but I no longer need you in my life. I release you.”

 

Imagine removing the sticky notes and throwing them into a wastebasket. Write a list about yourself that is the opposite of each item on the list you wrote. Imagine yourself placing sticky notes with those statements on yourself from top to bottom: “I am loveable”, “I am intelligent”, “I can learn anything.”, “My opinions are respected.” etc.

 

When you have removed all the negative sticky notes and replaced them with positive ones, take the wastebasket outside and dump it in the garbage. Of course you may think this is silly, but the physical act of doing this is remembered by your mind and makes it more effective.

 

Check out "Cleansing Your Life (Part I)"

 

To your success!

 

Barrett


Copyright ©  LBPI/Healing Universe

L. Barrett Powell is an international coach and cultural trainer/consultant with an academic background and experience in psychology, theology and journalism. Barrett's focus is on Success Coaching incorporating the Law of Attraction. She lives and works with individuals and inter-cultural organizations in the USA and Europe as a coach, coordinator and trainer. Contact her by email.

 

posted by Specialwoman | 1 Comments
Filed Under: ,

Thriving in the New Normal - It's a S.N.A.P.

It was the best of times and well, the best of times, to borrow from Charles Dickens.

 

It was the Age of Excess.

 

During the Age of Excess, generally from the 90s until recently, people were able to buy their dream home in upscale neighborhoods without even having to say how much they earned every month. This worked out fine until the recession arrived and the fiscal burden of a mortgage that could no longer be afforded was unable to be escaped. People maxed out their high-limit credit, their spirit and their relationships.

 

During the Age of Excess, people became so bored with their lives, they gathered by the millions in front of their plasma and big screen TVs, fascinated, to watch someone else’s reality of sexual escapades, expensive lifestyles and convoluted dramatic relationships. Millions worldwide were mesmerized by programs where they could watch overweight people lose weight and cry or fight on camera, or where people of various backgrounds walk around naked and have sex, fight, and play games with each other on camera while being thrown together in a house on a tropical island. They knew more about and cared more about the dramatic lives and relationships of a high school/early college girl and her friends from the wealthy beachside towns, than about world news and current events. In fact, these shows became their version of current events. It became more important to watch people fighting to lose weight each week or struggling to be chosen as the favorite of a potential spouse than it was to meaningfully communicate with family or friends

 

It is not surprising that during the Age of Excess people were massively absorbed into the fantasy of reality TV and could not or would not read books. Spirituality and spiritual balance (I am not speaking of religion and church attendance) dwindled as people looked only or primarily to external things to bring them joy and peace. While poverty is not a sign of holiness, spirituality or moral superiority, excessive greed is also not a substitute for peace and joy.

 

But now we live in an era that is the New Normal.

 

Under the era of the New Normal, the current recession has had immediate effects on people’s lives in many ways, from foreclosures and unemployment to having less money for basic living necessities (food, shelter, transportation and healthcare). People are now stuck with the houses they bought to flip or bought to live in with insufficient income and sketchy mortgage loans that should never have been made. Forecasters say it will improve some over the next years to come but even after the economy begin to improve the current situation will be burned into the collective and individual psyche of the masses. That leads one to ask, what long-term changes will remain?

 

Under the New Normal, as the economy bottoms out and recovers, what's going to happen to the American Dream? Will our goals and values be changed permanently? Is bling-bling, Bellini, BMWs and Botox a fading memory? In increasing numbers people are realizing they must re-evaluate their core values and return to a simpler life.

 

People found the economic crisis slammed not only the purse but relationships and spirits. They are fighting for financial stability, relationships and meaningful connections with the people in their lives, and for spiritual peace and hope.

 

 

SNAP! – Strategize, Network, Act, Prioritize

 

Now that we are beyond the Age of Excess and into the era of the New Normal, how to you make the most of life? How can you bounce back from the losses and challenges? How can you position yourself so that you find a place of balance and positive outcome? It’s a SNAP.

 

That is, the answer to living well in the New Normal era is in learning to Strategize, Network, Act, and Prioritize. You can remember this as SNAP, but I will briefly explain the steps in a logical order.

 

Priorities

Setting priorities is a very valuable skills and one necessary for anyone to succeed at goals. You must know what you want in order to have what you want. Most people go through life not know in what they want and they manifest all sorts of things (including many things they do not like) because they do not know what they want. In a world that has turned upside down and run amok financially affected all areas of life, it is vital to decide what you want. People undoubtedly know the matrix has shifted. It is now very clear to everyone that our global and individual situation have been transformed. Our individual, family, work and global relations have changed. We must take responsibility to consciously decide what we want and what we do not want, what we can afford and what we cannot afford.

 

How do you do this?

 

First, divide your life into three important categories: family and friends, career, and persona finance. Set a 10-15 year goal. Decide what you would like to accomplish in that timeframe, in each area. Do this with a hopeful mindset so you can be realistic but not undercutting your dreams. The only way you will achieve what you desire is to ask God/The Universe for it.

 

Second, set goals for the next five years in these three areas and prioritize them. Balance the consequences, the reality of achieving them and the trade-offs of not having everything in that timeframe. Time is, in fact, important, because you must decide how much you can realistically do in three years. Put the most important things at the top of your list.

 

Strategize

Now that you have set your priorities you must strategize so you can reach your short-term three-year and long-term 10-year goals. This means balancing your spiritual life, family and friends, your career, and personal finances. Have patience with yourself and keep your goals in front of you. Knowing what you want, you can eventually reach your goals. Stop putting out fires by focusing on the daily little things to the exclusion of your goals. You can eventually Taking the long-term view is spiritual life. Once you set your priorities, you need a plan. Take small steps each day that have something to do with your goals. If you do not, you cannot blame anyone but yourself. It is not the fault of the children, or your partner/spouse or the plumber who did not come. Decided how you will make a move toward you goals and get moving on your plan.

 

Act. 

In the New Normal, you must participate in life in order to have a life. You must be active in order to achieve your goals. You have prioritized them and strategized about how to reach them. Now it is time to actively take responsibility in your life to make things come true. You cannot sit and watch the television and find answers in other people’s fabricated realities or weight-loss, exhibitionist sex and extreme exercises. You cannot find the answer fooling around in role-playing games and hanging out in chat rooms. You must play the game of life. Other people cannot live your life for you. You are also not other people and “keeping up with the Joneses” is a losing game. Stop following others like an idiot. If you are struggling every month to pay your two mortgages, it is not intelligent or wise to buy video games, Wii’s, laptops, big screen TVs, expensive cuts of meat or a new SUV. Be yourself, stop trying to compete for materials good and outward appearances. Get yourself balanced spiritually, and get active in doing what it takes to reach your goals.  

 

Network.

This is related to acting in that in the New Normal you would do well to make authentic connections with your family members, friends and people who could help you professionally and personally. Make time to be with your family doing something where you get to know one another better and enjoy one another at least twice a week. Take the time to talk, really talk with friends or people you want to be your friends, for an hour or two each week. Don’t fill the conversation with what you bought recently or what you saw on a television show. Don’t compete. Share. Talk with long distance friends for free on instant messenger. Share what is happening in your life and take time to encourage one another. Join the social networking sites such as LinkedIn and Facebook and make significant use of them to make the acquaintance of people who could get you a job or know of someone else with a job, if you need employment or a career change.

 

If you want to read more about how you can be successful in this new era, you can download a e-book version of the new book "Thriving in the New Normal"

 

"Thriving in the New Normal " (e-book)

$6.50 

 

To your success!

 

Barrett

 


Copyright ©  LBPI/Healing Universe

L. Barrett Powell is an international coach and cultural trainer/consultant with an academic background and experience in psychology, theology and journalism. Barrett's focus is on Success Coaching incorporating the Law of Attraction. She lives and works with individuals and inter-cultural organizations in the USA and Europe as a coach, coordinator and trainer. Contact her by email or call for a session. Coaching sessions on Keen are $10.99/minute.

Cleansing Your Life (Part I) - Ending Negative Relationships

In a class I once took there was a woman I will call Camille. Camille has remarkable abilities: she could cause people with limited athletic ability to become 40-yard dash sprinters at a moment’s notice, arouse anger in the most serene people, and transform the giving of a gift into a complex drama. All this and more she could do simply by doing what she did best – being negative.

Before, during, and after class Camille would have an unsolicited complaint. Once it was to inform me that our instructor discriminated against older students because she overheard him telling a younger student about an international teaching opportunity and he did not also discuss it with her. Another time I found myself waiting 10 minutes for a friend to return from getting a cup of hot water for her tea bag in the cafeteria. Finally, flushed and running she told me she had been cornered by Camille, who would not accept my friend’s “no” after she asked her to give her a ride following class. On another occasion Camille came to class and verbally attacked a young woman whose friend sold her a car. Most classes she argued with the instructor. Camille was a walking vortex of negative energy.

Most of us know someone like that. We experience that feeling of dread in the pit of our stomachs when they come near us. They are energy drainers/psychic vampires. This is your mother who calls to tell you what a bad daughter you are because you are not living at home and financially supporting her. This is your cousin who each time you meet talks about how he cannot get ahead in life because “the cops are corrupt” and keep “hassling” him.

Just as you begin assessing and reviewing your material possessions for “Spring cleaning” it is also a wise idea to begin working on one of the most important non-material items in your life – your relationships. After your spiritual life take a look at what you have filled you life with in terms of people.

We must be ready to survey the quality of our relationships, make changes where we can and then rid ourselves of the relationships in our lives which are dead weights.

So how do you assess your relationships and make decisions? It is fairly easy to make an assessment – but it will take willpower to enforce the decisions that need to come from those assessments.

First, ask yourself, who in my life

  • is predominantly positive?
  • helps me to see my potential and do my best?
  • is someone I find myself sharing with, laughing with and taking honestly with?
  • is someone who strives to be their best spiritually, emotionally, mentally etc?
  • sees obstacles as challenges that can be overcome and/or learned from and actively strives to find a resolution for problems?

These are the kinds of people who add to your life, not subtract. These are the people who serve you well – who are of benefit to you. They are not sarcastic, do not badmouth you, criticize you and virtually everything and person around them or blame the world for their problems.

First, make a list of the negative people in your life. Whether it is a parent, another relative, a co-worker or classmate it is important to be honest and make who makes you feel worse when you are in contact with them.

Second, beside each person’s name list the good and bad things about your current relationship. Then list both the reasons why you should leave, and why you should not. Then write what consequences you think you will have for removing this person from your life.

Third, create a statement you want to say to these negative people. It can be something like this:

The things you say to and/or around me are mostly negative. It makes our relationship negative and it makes me not want to be around you. I do not share your outlook on life. If we cannot have a more positive relationship, then I need for us to separate until we can.

Then fourth, avoid the negative people – do not take their telephone calls or politely end them when the person starts to complain and criticize; do not continue to associate with them, sit near them, eat lunch with them, email/IM with them or converse with them. You can use your Caller ID and put their email/IM in “blocked users”. Spend your time with people who are positive. When it comes to relatives (a parent or siblings etc), you can still maintain contact – there are cheerful $.99 cards you can buy in bulk, write a note in and mail every so often.

By cleansing your relationships you will find your physical and emotional well-being changes for the better.

Be sure to read "Cleansing Your Life (Part II)"

To your success!

Barrett


Copyright ©  LBPI/Healing Universe

L. Barrett Powell is an international coach and cultural trainer/consultant with an academic background and experience in psychology, theology and journalism. Barrett's focus is on Success and Law of Attraction coaching. She lives and works with individuals and inter-cultural organizations in the USA and Europe as a coach, coordinator and trainer. Contact her by email.

More Posts Next page »