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-- THE WORDS YOU USE MAKE ALL THE
DIFFERENCE --
if you are enduring a situation with
a man where he blows hot and cold and keeps you so off-balance that you never
know where you stand with him or where the relationships going, I can help.
He's what I call "The
Rubberband Man".
One day he's coming on strong,
pursuing you, and then he practically ignores you.
One day he's affectionate and warm,
and the next he seems completely cold and withdrawn from you.
One day he calls you five times in a
row, and the next day -- nothing.
The hardest thing in a situation
like this is to know what to say to him when you're feeling so disappointed and
frustrated...without pushing him away or getting into a fight.
What to say when he's disappointing
you, what to say when he doesn't follow through, what to say when you aren't
happy, and what to say when you just want... more!
He'll get excited about something
and be "all over you", and then some days he'll feel more in his own
head, worried about something that has nothing to do with you, or just need to
hide away from intense intimacy with you until he gets his "bearings"
again.
Men can be just like us in the way
they sometimes need time to "regroup" and really get back in balance.
Men can get thrown off just as easily as we can -- it just looks a little
different.
WHAT YOU NEED VERSUS WHAT HE NEEDS:
When we women feel off balance or
insecure, we tend to move forward. We tend to want to "talk" the
situation out with a man, we tend to want more affection and more attention,
and we want to ask questions to get answers that will make us feel better.
A man, however, tends to want to
curl up in a ball by himself, throw himself into his work, or just completely
shut down!
You need to know how to stand up for
yourself, and you need to get the answers you want.
So the next time you're feeling like
you're walking on egg shells -- and you don't know what to say to a man about
what's bothering you -- try this:
1. Catch Yourself
This is the crucial first step in
communicating with a man in a powerful way. You simply want to stop and become
aware of what you're feeling.
2.Track Your Thought
Let's say a man calls you to check
in with you about a date at the last second -- and after not calling you over
the last two days the way he said he would.
You don't know whether to tell him
you're busy and you can't make the date because you're so mad he didn't call --
or to just swallow your upset and be cheerful and go out with him.
To Track Your Thoughts, you can
practice by carrying a small journal around with you and writing your thoughts
down as you notice them.
Write down ALL your thoughts -- your
angry ones and also the ones where you're afraid to rock the boat. Now...
3. Do a Body Assessment
What I want you to do here is to
"check in" with where you're holding tension.
Check in with your belly, your
shoulders, your pelvis, your legs -- all of you.
The moment you notice tension
somewhere, just allow that little part of your body to release the tension.
A great way to do this is to put
your hand right on that place -- on your shoulder or on your heart or your
belly... and just by keeping your hand on that part of your body, you allow it
to relax.
Breathe into your belly -- let go of
your belly instead of "tucking it in" -- and let the air out easily
while you're doing the Body Assessment.
4. Translate Your Thoughts
Now go back to the thoughts you
wrote down.
You've already written them down on
the left side of the paper. NOW -- on the right side -- "translate"
them into Feeling Messages.
That could look like this:
On the left you may have written,
"Why didn't you call me, you jerk!"
So you could translate that to:
"I felt bad when I missed your call."
Or you may have written "All
you had to do was take two seconds to tell me you were going to be late instead
of making me wait!" -- and change that to "I feel so frustrated when
I'm waiting."
Notice how in the translation I
never say the word "you"? And here's why:
Because this is not about HIM!
What it's about is how you feel when
you are in his "presence" -- and in the presence of his behavior.
In other words, it's all about YOU!
And how YOU FEEL!
And THAT'S what you need to
communicate to him.
And you have to do it in the way
that does not make him "wrong."
Even if he IS wrong!
5. Forget About Being Right And Be
LOVED
How exactly does forgetting about
being right work for you?
I mean, after all, you ARE right!
You are likely RIGHTEOUSLY upset!
The important question is: do you
want to be right, and make sure he knows you're right, and make sure he knows
what he did wrong...or do you want to be loved?
Because, if you can put all that
"right-ness" aside, you can change your love life overnight.
THE WORDS YOU USE MAKE ALL THE
DIFFERENCE
What will happen is this: the moment
you stop making him wrong, berating him, complaining, or telling him what he
should have done or should do -- he'll relax.
He'll relax in a way he has never
allowed himself to relax with any other woman.
He'll suddenly stop being defensive.
And we all know what a man does what
he feels defensive -- he pulls away. He doesn't try harder to make you happy --
no -- he'll just withdraw.
He'll stop FEELING affectionate.
He'll stop wanting to do anything
for you.
He'll just use all of his energy to
protect himself from what he perceives as a threat from you!
The most awful part of this is that
we "think" what we're doing is just "letting him know" how
bad he makes us feel -- only we're doing it in all the wrong ways.
So try this "Translation
Tool" the next time you have an urge to either keep your feelings to
yourself or to attack him.
HOW TO CONNECT WITH HIS HEART...AND
INSPIRE HIM TO PLEASE YOU
IF you express yourself to him in
this new way today.
Where he might've been cold and shut
down yesterday, he may all of a sudden open up, be warm and loving -- and STAY
that way!
CALL ME ... THE
VOICEOFHOPE
AND LET'S TURN ANY NEGATIVE INTO A
POSITIVE
EXT # 0357538
ƸӜƷ•°*””*°•.ƸӜƷ•°*””*°•.ƸӜƷ•°*””*°•.ƸӜƷ
Whatever you put your attention on expands and grows, so why not look for what is Whenever you find something negative in someone there's that judgmental part in you secretly holding an attachment to what they “should” be. Everybody is exactly the way they need to be right now. The Universe is always exactly the way it should be in every moment! Realize the deeper truth in this and you'll free your energy up to attracting that amazing intimate connection that feels like you're living in that sacred special loving paradise everyday.
---The Universe is really quite brilliant in many amazing ways. It is designed to awaken each of us to our infinite path, purpose and potentiality. If you are going to discover your deepest spiritual depth and truly learn all the life lessons you are here to learn, you MUST open up and deepen in intimacy with someone. An intimate open loving relationship is your ULTIMATE teacher, because it forces you to go deeper inside and heal all those wounded parts that feel unworthy of love. Without true intimacy the mind will just make up stories that your relationship is O.K. as it is and while deeper inside you really feel disconnected from your partner. Only through opening up to deeper intimacy can you discover total healing and the real reason why you are on this amazing journey called Life.
---Intimacy (into-you-me-see) can be uncomfortable at first, especially when you have to look at parts of yourself that you don't like to look at. Yet, it invites you to release attachment from any protected, defended, velvet rut of an ego-trip, and forces you to reveal the most Divine aspects of your Being. Sharing your heart openly, vulnerably and freely with another is the strongest and most courageous thing a person can do on this Earth. The ultimate result is total freedom from suffering. Sure, intimacy is like anything in life, it contains both the negative and positive aspects depending on how you view it. Yet, on the path that truly fulfills your soul, intimacy creates a depth in understanding your real self that goes beyond anything you can do in your cave alone.
---If you want to start manifesting a more intimate relationship today, here are some helpful techniques to get you started:
1. Ask the Universe for what you want! simply ask for more intimacy * instead of just settling for the connection that you may be tolerating and coping with. If your relationship is not satisfying to your soul, you are not standing up for what you want. Imagine what that connection FEELS like and request the Universe sends it your way A.S.A.P! focusing on the highest Source of consciousness, ask it to help you find what you honestly want, know that the Universe is listening and trust in whatever happens next!
2. Create intimacy with yourself first. A deeply intimate loving relationship with anyone always starts with discovering a intimacy within yourself. You can only attract intimacy on the outer if you find it first on your inner world. Someone can only love and respect you when you love and respect yourself. If you are afraid of getting hurt by opening to more intimacy, it means you haven't yet been intimate with this part of you that is still afraid and protecting itself from being hurt. By being intimate with your inner world, you open the door for others to come inside and help you to discover the Divine Being you truly are.
3. Practice being more intimate everyday. One thing we don't have is a shortage of human beings on this planet. There are over 6 billion people here today and some will instantly be intimate with you, while others currently have the ability to be cold, distant, prickly and protected. ---Affirm to the Universe that everyday you are opening to more intimacy with whomever can open to you. Don't wait forever for the one you are in relationship with to open up to you. If they are blocked, send them lots of love, be with them as deeply as they'll allow you, and continue on your journey to discover who you truly are. Once they see that you are FREE and finding heart opening connections with others they will have to break through their inner armor and melt those barriers to love inside. Finding intimacy for yourself helps them to initiate their healing process.
4. Let go of ALL expectations. Your mind probably has many preconceived ideas of what intimacy should look like. These are just concepts about love and ANY attachment to these concepts will limit your ability to experience a deeper intimacy within yourself. The purpose of intimacy is to be able to fully HEAL all your hidden wounded parts and constantly BE this open unlimited unstoppable loving being. Start noticing how free you really are. When you drop these expectations you'll be able to manifest a soul-to-soul connection that has TONS of intimate eye/heart contact and have healthy boundaries with them.
---This is your life, if you don't start living it today you will just postpone it forever and never be alive. You may miss one of the greatest experiences of life if you don't create a heart felt open-minded intimate connection with another person.
♫.•*¨`*•..¸♥☼♥¸.•*¨`*•.♫ ♫.•*¨`*•..¸♥☼♥¸.•*¨`*•.♫ ♫.•*¨`*•..¸♥☼♥¸.•*¨`*•.♫ ♫.•*¨`*•..¸♥☼♥¸.•*¨`*•.♫
Excerpt from -Manifest An Enlightened Intimate Relationship
Jafre
A regular dose of the unexpected helps keep your brain healthy.
Curiosity, at its core, is all about noticing and being drawn to things we find interesting. It’s about recognizing and seizing the pleasures that novel experiences offer us, and finding novelty and meaning even in experiences that are familiar.
When we are curious, we see things differently; we use our powers of observation more fully. We sense what is happening in the present moment, taking note of what is, regardless of what it looked like before or what we might have expected it to be.
We feel alive and engaged, more capable of embracing opportunities, making connections, and experiencing moments of insight and meaning — all of which provide the foundation for a rich, aware and satisfying life experience. Curiosity enhances our well-being and the quality of our lives.
It is possible that declining curiosity is an initial sign of neurological illness and declining health. Nonetheless, there are promising signs that enhancing curiosity reduces the risk for these diseases and may even reverse some of the natural degeneration that occurs in older adults.
Studies that have shown women who regularly engage in mini-mysteries … taking on novel experiences that get them out of familiar routines (better) preserve their mental faculties later in life.”
In short, a regular dose of the unexpected helps keep your brain healthy.
♥-:¦:-•*””’*•:*♥*:•*””’*•-:¦:♥
7 Ways to Train Your Mate
By Eric J. Leech
What are the best ways to positively influence your mate, without recourse to manipulation? Try these top seven methods for positive reinforcement:
1. R-E-S-P-E-C-T
People respect those who respect them, so by maintaining a mutual respect in your relationship, you will ensure your requests will always be handled with understanding, caring, and sincerity.
2. Listen
Too often when we are trying to get our mate to change, we focus primarily on what we need from them, rather than what they need from us. By listening to your partner and understanding where they are coming from, you will better understand what will motivate them to want to change for you. With practice, you will also be able to pickup on non-verbal cues, in effect, listening for what is not being said. To often requests go ignored, simply because one partner forgot to listen before asking!
3. Do Me, and I’ll Do You
The power of reciprocation is regularly used in the business world, but it can also be used in romantic relationships. It is much easier to get a mate to work on improving when they know they will be getting something in return. This takes the heat off of just them, and makes the solution become a team effort. The power of reciprocation can also be seen when explaining to your mate the advantage of making the change. For instance, to a partner balking at the idea of making dinner in the evening, explain to them that if they share in the chore, they’ll be able to make the types of food they most enjoy eating, etc.
4. Timing
Timing is so important when we have to talk about a behavioral problem we are having with our mate. Often, we are driven to talk about these things as they happen, but that is not always the best time to start a serious heart to heart. Wait until both you and your partner are in a neutral, stress free mood, place yourself in a position of minimal threat (side to side, rather than face to face), and openly express your feelings how you’d like to see things change. Use the word “I” as an opener to your conversation (“I feel like…”) rather than “you” (“You always…”).
5. Stay on Subject
Too often when attempting to explain a problem to a mate, we end up going off on a tangent about other things until we come around to the part we actually wanted to talk about. We may think that we are buttering them up for the punchline, but we often just lose their attention and patience. If you really want to talk to your mate about an important request, stay on subject, be direct (short), and use clear, concise sentences.
6. Hush Approach
On occasion, we will listen to advice coming from various sources more than our own mate. It does not mean that we don’t respect their ideas, but some ideas have more credibility when they seem to be coming from several outside sources. For instance, if you are looking to get your mate to quit smoking, rather than hounding them about how bad it is for them, casually offer them tidbits of information in the form of articles or newsletters. This takes the bite from your own words, and puts it into the mouth of another.
7. Hate to Manipulate
Manipulation tactics, such as bribing, dictating, and offering a combination of reward and punishment may work with (some) animals, but the human intellect is much more capable of resentment once it realizes it’s being taken advantage of. A partner does not want to be forced into doing what you think is right, but rather figure out what is right for themselves. You can guide your mate to the land of Oompa Loompa, but you can’t make them do the funny dance unless they want to!
CALL ME TO FIND OUT WHAT IS AHEAD FOR YOUR LOVE LIFE, CAREER, OR FINANCES. $
What are you passionate about in life? Does your boyfriend help you reach that passion? The two of you need to share a common vision for the future. This is so obvious that it is often overlooked. It is a key reason why relationships fail, and fail badly. Don’t jump into a relationship with the first hot guy you met. Don’t fall into that trap. Be selective over who you chose to make your boyfriend, and make yourself a challenge. Figure out what you love to do in life, and with whom you love to do it with. Enjoy every moment, because you never know when it’ll all fade away. Realize that you’re not young forever, and take care of yourself to enjoy your youth. You want to always look back at like and say “oh yea, that was a great time.” Find a man who shares all those qualities and get in a relationship with him. Even if there’s only one guy you know like that, maybe that’s the guy you really need. Poor couples who have bad relationships share no passions. Great couples with strong relationships share all their passions.
Fit into your boyfriend’s reality, and make him fit into yours. Those are the keys to a strong relationship.
more to come ....
What Is Bipolar Disorder?
This complex mental condition comes in various forms. These are the most common:
Bipolar I is the classic type, which used to be called manic depression. Patients typically alternate between full-blown mania and depression, which causes severe behavioral shifts. In some, those symptoms occur concurrently.
Occasionally, the mania or depression is so severe it becomes psychosis – a break with reality characterized by delusions or hallucinations.
Bipolar II is the less extreme, more common version of the disorder. Depressive episodes alternate with hypomania – a milder version of mania. People with hypomania are sometimes highly productive and function well.
“It can start out lovely,” says Cynthia Last, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Boca Raton, Fla., and author of When Someone You Love Is Bipolar (Guilford Press). But it inevitably leads to depression. And if left untreated, symptoms may grow more extreme, evolving into bipolar I.
Once diagnosed, bipolar disorder is often treatable with medications and psychotherapy. But warning signs of bipolar disorder are often confused with major depression, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), drug-induced highs or just plain moodiness.
As a result, only 1 in 4 sufferers are accurately diagnosed in less than three years, according to DBSA figures.
Recognizing the mania and depression signs of bipolar disorder is the first step to getting help. Here’s what to look for:
6 Warning Signs of Mania
1. Unusually upbeat, outgoing or irritable mood
During a manic phase, some people feel euphoric, others talk nonstop and some develop a hair-trigger temper. The key is a radical departure from the norm.
“A person who’s usually a reasonable individual may suddenly become impossible to live with,” Galynker explains.
2. Racing thoughts and speed-talking
Besides speaking quickly and jumping between ideas, a person in this phase may also be easily distracted – one reason mania is sometimes mistaken for ADHD.
“Unfortunately, the primary treatment for ADHD is stimulants, which can trigger severe symptoms in someone with bipolar disorder,” Last says.
To avoid an ADHD misdiagnosis, mental health professionals analyze how behavior has changed: Bipolar disorder is episodic, while adult ADHD usually continues from childhood.
3. Boundless energy
The extremely energetic behavior common in the manic phase often leads to rushing around and taking on new projects, however ill-advised. If the sufferer is also easily distracted, he’ll jump to new tasks before completion, Galynker says.
4. Impulsive and self-destructive behavior
Spending sprees, flagrant affairs or risky investments can all signal bipolar disorder if they’re out of character and part of a larger pattern of symptoms, Galynker says.
5. Decreased need for sleep
Sleeping only a few hours a night could be a sign of bipolar disorder – as well as depression or anxiety. How do you know the difference?
“People with insomnia typically feel very tired during the day,” says Elizabeth Brondolo, Ph.D., a psychology professor at St. John’s University in Queens, N.Y., and author of Break the Bipolar Cycle (McGraw-Hill). Someone in a manic episode may never feel exhausted.
6. Inflated sense of self-worth
An exaggerated sense of your power, knowledge or importance is common in this stage, such as believing you have a special relationship with God.
“It’s a feeling of being invincible and doing no wrong,” Galynker says.
4 Warning Signs of Depression
1. Sad, empty or hopeless mood
Many people with bipolar disorder spend most of the time depressed, Brondolo says. This relentless dark mood prevents them from taking interest or pleasure in their lives.
2. Low energy and constant fatigue
In contrast to supercharged energy during mania, this phase leaves a person feeling drained of energy and motivation. The smallest task – even getting out of bed – can seem impossible.
“A depressed person isn’t able to move forward and do what’s supposed to be done,” Brondolo says. As a result, performance at home, work or school often suffers.
3. Decreased ability to think clearly
The same mind that races from idea to idea when manic may feel paralyzed during depression, making it hard for the sufferer to remember things and make decisions.
“Depression can lead to serious disruptions in concentration and attention,” Brondolo says.
4. Suicidal thoughts and behavior
Depression often leads to dwelling on past mistakes, including blunders made while manic.
“When it gets really bad, you may feel cornered, as if all possible ways of escaping a situation are closed,” Galynker says.
That’s when suicidal thoughts can take hold. And without treatment, the risk of acting on them is high. Up to 20% of people with bipolar disorder take their lives.
Getting Help
If you recognize several warning signs of bipolar disorder in yourself or a loved one, seek help. Contact a psychiatrist or other mental health professional, or get a referral from your primary-care physician.
Several treatments are available:
Medications
These play a primary role in managing bipolar disorder. Options include:
Mood-stabilizing drugs. Usually the first choice, these include lithium, the oldest mood stabilizer, and anticonvulsants, a group of drugs originally developed to treat seizures.
Antipsychotics. Prescribed when lithium or anticonvulsants don’t work, or if the patient has symptoms of psychosis.
Antidepressants. Often combined with a mood stabilizer or antipsychotic, “there’s controversy over whether antidepressants should be used to treat depression in people with bipolar disorder,” Galynker explains. That’s because there’s a risk of switching abruptly from depression to mania.
Psychotherapy
Therapy is also crucial. Intensive therapy helps people recover faster and stay well over a one-year period, according to the largest federally funded study of bipolar disorder treatments, the Systematic Treatment Enhancement Program for Bipolar Disorder.
The three types of therapy included in the study had comparable benefits. They were:
Cognitive-behavioral therapy. Teaches people how to counteract negative thoughts and use behavioral strategies to cope with mood swings.
Interpersonal and social rhythm therapy. Advises how to maintain consistent daily routines and sleep schedules. Also works on resolving interpersonal issues and conflicts that contribute to symptoms.
Family-focused treatment. Couples or parents and children work together to manage a sufferer’s bipolar disorder in this type of therapy.
Persuading Your Mate to Seek Treatment
People with manic depression may not realize how sick they are. So if your mate is showing signs of bipolar disorder, overcoming denial and convincing him to see a mental health professional can be difficult.
Galynker recommends the following steps:
Persuasion: Start by reasoning with him. Explain that he can improve his life by getting help.
Intervention: Enlist people your mate values, such as parents, siblings and friends.
Manipulation: Present treatment as a privilege. For example, you could mention that he’ll be seeing the same doctor who treated a local celebrity.
Ultimatum: If all else fails, “tell him, ‘Either you see somebody or I’m leaving,’” Galynker says. While harsh, it may be your only option.
Once your mate gets better, you can help him stay that way. Support his healthy lifestyle choices, such as avoiding alcohol or drug abuse, keeping a regular sleep schedule and reducing stress.
Also, ask his treatment provider about early warning signs of a relapse. Then develop an emergency plan with her and your mate in case this occurs.
And remember, neither of you has to endure this illness alone. To find support in your area, visit the DBSA Chapter and Support Group Directory.
Today, Shirley Rogerson’s husband, Roger, is doing well. And he credits her with playing a pivotal role in his recovery.
“It’s great to have somebody who has stuck with me for all these years and knows me inside-out,” he says. “With bipolar, it’s always way up or way down. She helps me find the medium.”
Learn more about signs of bipolar disorder in our Mental Health Center.
Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
Everyone has idiosyncrasies that might lend themselves to a personality disorder. Take a look at the silly side of being addictive, compulsive, dependent and antisocial and keep an open mind while you take this personality disorder quiz. Discover your neurosis and find out which personality disorder best defines you.
Check out Health Bistro for more healthy food for thought. See what Lifescript editors are talking about and get the skinny on latest news. Share it with your friends (it’s free to sign up!), and bookmark it so you don’t miss a single juicy post!
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Once diagnosed, bipolar disorder is often treatable with medications and psychotherapy. But warning signs of bipolar disorder are often confused with major depression, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), drug-induced highs or just plain moodiness.
As a result, only 1 in 4 sufferers are accurately diagnosed in less than three years, according to DBSA figures.
Recognizing the mania and depression signs of bipolar disorder is the first step to getting help. Here’s what to look for:
6 Warning Signs of Mania
1. Unusually upbeat, outgoing or irritable mood
During a manic phase, some people feel euphoric, others talk nonstop and some develop a hair-trigger temper. The key is a radical departure from the norm.
“A person who’s usually a reasonable individual may suddenly become impossible to live with,” Galynker explains.
2. Racing thoughts and speed-talking
Besides speaking quickly and jumping between ideas, a person in this phase may also be easily distracted – one reason mania is sometimes mistaken for ADHD.
“Unfortunately, the primary treatment for ADHD is stimulants, which can trigger severe symptoms in someone with bipolar disorder,” Last says.
To avoid an ADHD misdiagnosis, mental health professionals analyze how behavior has changed: Bipolar disorder is episodic, while adult ADHD usually continues from childhood.
3. Boundless energy
The extremely energetic behavior common in the manic phase often leads to rushing around and taking on new projects, however ill-advised. If the sufferer is also easily distracted, he’ll jump to new tasks before completion, Galynker says.
4. Impulsive and self-destructive behavior
Spending sprees, flagrant affairs or risky investments can all signal bipolar disorder if they’re out of character and part of a larger pattern of symptoms, Galynker says.
5. Decreased need for sleep
Sleeping only a few hours a night could be a sign of bipolar disorder – as well as depression or anxiety. How do you know the difference?
“People with insomnia typically feel very tired during the day,” says Elizabeth Brondolo, Ph.D., a psychology professor at St. John’s University in Queens, N.Y., and author of Break the Bipolar Cycle (McGraw-Hill). Someone in a manic episode may never feel exhausted.
6. Inflated sense of self-worth
An exaggerated sense of your power, knowledge or importance is common in this stage, such as believing you have a special relationship with God.
“It’s a feeling of being invincible and doing no wrong,” Galynker says.
4 Warning Signs of Depression
1. Sad, empty or hopeless mood
Many people with bipolar disorder spend most of the time depressed, Brondolo says. This relentless dark mood prevents them from taking interest or pleasure in their lives.
2. Low energy and constant fatigue
In contrast to supercharged energy during mania, this phase leaves a person feeling drained of energy and motivation. The smallest task – even getting out of bed – can seem impossible.
“A depressed person isn’t able to move forward and do what’s supposed to be done,” Brondolo says. As a result, performance at home, work or school often suffers.
3. Decreased ability to think clearly
The same mind that races from idea to idea when manic may feel paralyzed during depression, making it hard for the sufferer to remember things and make decisions.
“Depression can lead to serious disruptions in concentration and attention,” Brondolo says.
4. Suicidal thoughts and behavior
Depression often leads to dwelling on past mistakes, including blunders made while manic.
“When it gets really bad, you may feel cornered, as if all possible ways of escaping a situation are closed,” Galynker says.
That’s when suicidal thoughts can take hold. And without treatment, the risk of acting on them is high. Up to 20% of people with bipolar disorder take their lives.
Getting Help
If you recognize several warning signs of bipolar disorder in yourself or a loved one, seek help. Contact a psychiatrist or other mental health professional, or get a referral from your primary-care physician.
Several treatments are available:
Medications
These play a primary role in managing bipolar disorder. Options include:
Mood-stabilizing drugs. Usually the first choice, these include lithium, the oldest mood stabilizer, and anticonvulsants, a group of drugs originally developed to treat seizures.
Antipsychotics. Prescribed when lithium or anticonvulsants don’t work, or if the patient has symptoms of psychosis.
Antidepressants. Often combined with a mood stabilizer or antipsychotic, “there’s controversy over whether antidepressants should be used to treat depression in people with bipolar disorder,” Galynker explains. That’s because there’s a risk of switching abruptly from depression to mania.
Psychotherapy
Therapy is also crucial. Intensive therapy helps people recover faster and stay well over a one-year period, according to the largest federally funded study of bipolar disorder treatments, the Systematic Treatment Enhancement Program for Bipolar Disorder.
The three types of therapy included in the study had comparable benefits. They were:
Cognitive-behavioral therapy. Teaches people how to counteract negative thoughts and use behavioral strategies to cope with mood swings.
Interpersonal and social rhythm therapy. Advises how to maintain consistent daily routines and sleep schedules. Also works on resolving interpersonal issues and conflicts that contribute to symptoms.
Family-focused treatment. Couples or parents and children work together to manage a sufferer’s bipolar disorder in this type of therapy.
Persuading Your Mate to Seek Treatment
People with manic depression may not realize how sick they are. So if your mate is showing signs of bipolar disorder, overcoming denial and convincing him to see a mental health professional can be difficult.
Galynker recommends the following steps:
- Persuasion: Start by reasoning with him. Explain that he can improve his life by getting help.
- Intervention: Enlist people your mate values, such as parents, siblings and friends.
- Manipulation: Present treatment as a privilege. For example, you could mention that he’ll be seeing the same doctor who treated a local celebrity.
- Ultimatum: If all else fails, “tell him, ‘Either you see somebody or I’m leaving,’” Galynker says. While harsh, it may be your only option.
Once your mate gets better, you can help him stay that way. Support his healthy lifestyle choices, such as avoiding alcohol or drug abuse, keeping a regular sleep schedule and reducing stress.
Also, ask his treatment provider about early warning signs of a relapse. Then develop an emergency plan with her and your mate in case this occurs.
And remember, neither of you has to endure this illness alone. To find support in your area, visit the DBSA Chapter and Support Group Directory.
Today, Shirley Rogerson’s husband, Roger, is doing well. And he credits her with playing a pivotal role in his recovery.
“It’s great to have somebody who has stuck with me for all these years and knows me inside-out,” he says. “With bipolar, it’s always way up or way down. She helps me find the medium.”
Learn more about signs of bipolar disorder in our Mental Health Center.
Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
Everyone has idiosyncrasies that might lend themselves to a personality disorder. Take a look at the silly side of being addictive, compulsive, dependent and antisocial and keep an open mind while you take this personality disorder quiz. Discover your neurosis and find out which personality disorder best defines you.
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EMOTIONAL HEALING
I want to share an enlightening article by Mark Myhre (the Emotional Healing
Wizard) below. It provides an insightful look at how to move beyond pain
'caused' by others by forgiving yourself! What you do not consciously create you allow into your reality under
the umbrella of your beliefs,
attitudes, thoughts and feelings, sense of deserving & self-value, ego agendas,
scripts, stories, patterns, unhealed
hurts, and so on. There are many reasons
why you may create, or more likely allow, something negative in your life,
including bad treatment from another.
* Don’t push down the pain but allow it
to rise so you may heal. * If you have existing limiting beliefs of yourself, or of others; it’s time to turn that
around. * Check your level of your
self-value. * Don’t let a self-pity agenda from keep running in your head, in
your life. Martydom is lonely. * Create
peace and serenity. (Exciting is far
different from drama ! * Avoidance will just delay your healing. * If you are already upset with someone from
your past and are repeating the pattern, you need to release those buried
emotions. *
Perhaps it is a soul-level contract you
have agreed to, whether you are conscious of it or not. Whatever the reason, and
whether you have any idea what that reason
is or not, self-forgiveness,(as well as forgiving others is a way
through! Its a way to
let go, heal, change and move beyond to allow more successful loving realities into your
life!
It's time for further exploration to
learn, heal, let go of, and evolve, etc.
Let's puts an end to hardships now.
"You can learn more through joy,
beauty, wonder, laughter, excitement, love and curiosity than through pain." – Lazaris
It’s time to release the blocks to your true
happiness. It’s time to awaken to
magnificence of your being. Get rid of
the clutter, clean out the closet, throw out the old and bring in the new. Empty your heart of the pain so there is more
room for love and peace.
You are loved, loving and loveable,
ever and always.
Turn Dark Emotional States Into Sunny Skies
Who you really are cannot be "interrupted" by a thought, or some dark emotional state, anymore than a passing rain cloud disturbs the open sky through which it passes.
The Courage to Be Free of Negative States
Your original Self doesn't come loaded with worry, regret, fear, resentment, or, for that matter, any other self-limiting states that can grow where darkness gathers.
Self-limiting thoughts or feelings have power over us only when we are tricked into believing that we need something we don't. When we let this happen, we begin to look at familiar negative thoughts and feelings as old friends; and though we want to be free of them, we still call on their powers to help us. We look to them to guide us, as when we walk and talk with worried thoughts, or when we embrace angry emotions for their short-term strength. But truth tells otherwise.
In and of themselves, negative states provide us with nothing of value. Instead, they make victims of all those who seek their counsel. A short example will help prove this last important point and reveal how we are deceived into acting against our own best interests.
When life falls apart, or threatens to come unglued, it seems almost natural to carry around some desperate, stressed, or depressed emotional state. But why cling to something that makes us ache? The answer is surprising, but evident, once we're aware of what's actually taking place within us.
Negative states tell us that we must feel as we do.
In some strange and unseen way, the weight of a dark worry serves as proof that we have "no option" other than to buckle beneath it... to fall down, feel betrayed, or prepare for a fight.
To awaken, reclaim, and possess the courage we need to be free, we must remember this great and timeless truth: Real life can no more act to pull us down than the rising sun can burden the spring flowers that wait to bathe in its nourishing light.
This article is excerpted from The Courage to Be Free
Here is A prayer to Attract Great Love:
Dear Father God:
I feel an empty space within me, a place where I would so love to love.
I know that if my beloved came here, I would adore and cherish, honor and serve him.
Please give me the opportunity to expand my heart into the life of another in the holiest way, the most beautiful way, the most intimate way, if that serves Your purpose.
For I would learn the sercrets of love and use what I learn to grace the life of another.
What a marvelous possibility, Lord, that such a treasure would be placed in my hands.
Please do this AND you will see the wondrous results of your beliefs and efforts.
Falling in love is an effort to retrieve Paradise, that dimension of bliss where no one is blamed for anything and everyone is fully appreciated for who they are.
Most people do not have the personality structure to hold on to the strength it takes to love without judgement.
And so love's magic dies..... but it doesn't have to when ....
We heal as we heal others, and we heal others by extending our perceptions past their weaknesses.
The point of love is to make us grow, not to make us immediately happy.
Many of us have forsworn the chance for the deepest love in reaching out for the easier one.
About Intimacy:
The purpose of an intimate partnership is for us to midwife the perfection in each other.
And so it is that the person with whom we share the deepest love ~~~~~~~~
An Excerpt from
The Strangest Secret
by Earl Nightingale
George Bernard Shaw said, "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, they make them."
Well, it's pretty apparent, isn't it? And every person who discovered this believed (for a while) that he was the first one to work it out. We become what we think about.
Conversely, the person who has no goal, who doesn't know where he's going, and whose thoughts must therefore be thoughts of confusion, anxiety and worry - his life becomes one of frustration, fear, anxiety and worry. And if he thinks about nothing... he becomes nothing.
How does it work? Why do we become what we think about? Well, I'll tell you how it works, as far as we know. To do this, I want to tell you about a situation that parallels the human mind.
Suppose a farmer has some land, and it's good, fertile land. The land gives the farmer a choice; he may plant in that land whatever he chooses. The land doesn't care. It's up to the farmer to make the decision.
We're comparing the human mind with the land because the mind, like the land, doesn't care what you plant in it. It will return what you plant, but it doesn't care what you plant.
Now, let's say that the farmer has two seeds in his hand- one is a seed of corn, the other is nightshade, a deadly poison. He digs two little holes in the earth and he plants both seeds-one corn, the other nightshade. He covers up the holes, waters and takes care of the land...and what will happen? Invariably, the land will return what was planted.
As it's written in the Bible, "As ye sow, so shall ye reap."
Remember the land doesn't care. It will return poison in just as wonderful abundance as it will corn. So up come the two plants - one corn, one poison.
The human mind is far more fertile, far more incredible and mysterious than the land, but it works the same way. It doesn't care what we plant...success...or failure. A concrete, worthwhile goal...or confusion, misunderstanding, fear, anxiety and so on. But what we plant must return to us.
You see, the human mind is the last great unexplored continent on earth. It contains riches beyond our wildest dreams. It will return anything we want to plant.
-- Honor your feelings. Pay attention to how situations, people, foods, actions, or behaviors make YOU feel. You are the star of the show. YOU matter. How is something or someone making you feel? Good or bad? This is a VERY important step, because you are acknowledging and honoring you! Then you can choose what you can do for you.
-- Appreciate. If you notice that something feels good, appreciate it, burn it in your memory and make a note or a plan to do it again! Take time to appreciate yourself and what you do have--say to yourself "I am so lucky that...." And add something in. Just by saying those words you will notice that you are feeling better.
-- Be your best friend. If it is bad that you feel, ask yourself, if I loved myself, what would I do for myself? If I were my best friend, what would I do? Sometimes a hug will do that trick--give it to yourself or find a friend and tell them, "I don't need advice, I just need a hug." Once again, you are acknowledging and honoring your needs and allowing yourself to be taken care of. The physical touch will help distress your body and mind. Or simply perform a random act of kindness for you--compliment yourself, thank yourself for nurturing you or opening the door for yourself.
-- Give yourself a "love me gift" -big or small--flowers, a little piece of jewelry, books,
-- Reach out. Reach out for love and support from your friends, counselor or community, especially a spiritual community. Knowing when to ask for help and that you are deserving of help, is a testament to fully loving yourself. -- Perform a random act of kindness for someone else--you will acknowledge how dear you are and someone else will too. Of course, as you make their day brighter, they might do the same for someone else.
Before you know it, you will create a foundation of self-love that sustains you during times of stress. ---------
Dr. Eva Selhu
There is no need to shout. If you use the right words, you can whisper... You may not think that the world needs you, but it does. For you are unique, like no one that has ever been before or will come after. No one can speak with your voice, say your piece, smile your smile, or shine your light. No one can take your place, for it is yours alone to fill. If you are not there to shine your light, who knows how many travelers will lose their way as they try to pass by your empty place in the darkness?
~~ LIVE simply, LOVE generously, CARE deeply, SPEAK kindly. ~~ Leave the rest to GOD.... We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when [people] are afraid of the light. ~ Plato "A true Master is not the one with the most students, but one who creates the most Masters. A true leader is not the one with the most followers, but one who creates the most leaders. A true king is not the one with the most subjects, but one who leads the most to royalty. A true teacher is not the one with the most knowledge, but one who causes the most others to have knowledge. And a true God is not One with the most servants, but One who serves the most, thereby making Gods of all others. For this is both the goal and the glory of God: that His subjects shall be no more, and that all shall know God not as the unattainable, but as the unavoidable." ~Neale Donald Walsch
---Everything in your life has an influence and an interaction with everything else. Make an improvement in one area of your life, and many other areas will benefit. Everything in your world is interconnected. Create value in one place, and that value casts its light in additional places as well. Your positive thoughts and actions often have immediate and direct results. They also have indirect results that can continue far beyond the obvious. A small kindness offered to just one person can end up benefiting countless others. The love you give will always, in ways that you may never even realize, come back to you. Success and fulfillment do not occur in isolation. You'll receive no great benefit from being positive about only a few things if you take a negative approach in other areas. Instead, focus all your awareness and intention in a positive, fulfilling direction. Then, all the many connections will organize in such a way as to move you quickly forward.
First let's look at why some dreams dont take flight. We must remove the obstacles first then we can soar into the air and realize our dreams.
Excerpt below: by Dr. John C. Maxwell -
Most of us never see our dreams come true. Instead of soaring through the clouds, our dreams languish like a broken-down airplane confined to its hangar. Through life, I have come to identify five common reasons why dreams don't take flight.
#1 We Have Been Discouraged from Dreaming by Others
We have to pilot our own dreams; we cannot entrust them to anyone else. People who aren't following their own dreams resent us pursuing ours. Such people feel inadequate when we succeed, so they try to drag us down.
If we listen to external voices, then we allow our dreams to be hijacked. At some point, other people will place limitations on us by doubting our abilities. When surrounded by the turbulence of criticism, we have to grasp the controls tightly to keep from being knocked off course.
#2 We Are Hindered by Past Disappointments and Hurts
In the movie Top Gun, Tom Cruise plays Maverick, a young, talented, and cocky aviator who dreams of being the premier pilot in the U.S. Navy. In the film's opening scenes, Maverick showcases his flying ability but also displays a knack for pushing the envelope with regards to safety. Midway through the movie, Maverick's characteristic aggression spells disaster. His plane crashes, killing his best friend and co-pilot.
Although cleared of wrongdoing, the painful memory of the accident haunts Maverick. He quits taking risks and loses his edge. Struggling to regain his poise, he considers giving up on his dream. Although the incident nearly wrecks Maverick's career, he eventually reaches within to find the strength to return to the sky.
Like Maverick, many of us live with the memory of failure embedded in our psyche. Perhaps a business we started went broke, or we were fired from a position of leadership. Disappointment is the gap that exists between expectation and reality, and all of us have encountered that gap. Failure is a necessary and natural part of life, but if we're going to attain our dreams, then, like Maverick, we have to summon the courage to deal with past hurts.
#3 We Fall into the Habit of Settling for Average
Average is the norm for a reason. Being exceptional demands extra effort, sustained inspiration, and uncommon discipline. When we attempt to give flight to our dreams, we have to overcome the weight of opposition. Like gravity, life's circumstances constantly pull on our dreams, tugging us down to mediocrity.
Most of us don't pay the price to overcome the opposition to our dreams. We may start out inspired, but through time we fatigue. Although never intending to abandon our dreams, we begin to make concessions here and there. Through time, our lives become mundane, and our dreams slip away.
#4 We Lack the Confidence Needed to Pursue Our Dreams
Dreams are fragile. They will be buffeted by assaults from all sides. As such, they must be supplied with the extra strength of self-confidence.
In Amelia Earhart's day, women were not supposed to fly airplanes. If she had lacked self-assurance, she never would have even attempted to be a pilot. Instead, Earhart confidently chased after her dream, and she was rewarded with both fulfillment and fame.
#5 We Lack the Imagination to Dream
For thousands of years, mankind traveled along the ground: by foot, by horse-and-buggy, by locomotive, and eventually by automobile. Thanks to the dreams of Orville and Wilbur Wright, we now hop across oceans in a matter of hours. The imaginative brothers overcame ridicule and doubt to pioneer human flight, and the world has never been the same.
Many of us play small because we do not allow ourselves to dream. We trap ourselves in reality and never dare to go beyond what we can see with our eyes. Imagination lifts us beyond average by giving us a vision of life that surpasses what we are experiencing currently. Dreams infuse our spirit with energy and spur us on to greatness.
~~~ Let me preface first that as soon as you see a 'discussion' escalating into a 'fight', DISENGAGE ! ~~~
First, realize when you simply can't change a thing...then pick the battles that are important to you...that's it!
People can be difficult, even yourself...so stop it early!
If you are repeatedly arguing with your spouse, co-workers, friends, etc. OR ATTRACTING PEOPLE INTO YOUR LIFE WHO BLAME YOU FOR EVERY LITTLE THING
----THEN it's time to see the underlying reasons.
----CALL ME AND I WILL DELVE INTO THE INNER LAYERS AND YOUR CELLULAR MEMORY BANK
TO PURGE THE TRIGGERS CREATING these experiences.
Tips for Cooling off After a Confrontation:
We all try to keep our cool and stop anger and hostility from infiltrating our sense of inner peace, but sometimes—whether we rashly lose our tempers or are provoked into a righteous confrontation—we find ourselves in an argument. During the fight, our endorphins pump, our faces flush, our hands might shake, and our hearts pound.
But what about afterwards? How can we harness our endorphins, faces, hands, and hearts and re-assemble that inner peace that was shattered when the argument reared its ugly head?
So take a deep breath and REMEMBER there are quick ways to calm down after an argument.
Take a Recovery Walk - I take a walk. While I am walking, I think about the situation and what just happened. After we both are calm I recoup myself and talk to him ask: was that even worth it to argue? Did it really need to go that far? And what was the whole argument about again? Then we talk, laugh it off, and become one piece again.
The simple activity of shredding up paper with both hands can keep you distracted and help relieve those fleeting thoughts of anger. – Take a big plastic bat, and beat the couch until you find yourself laughing.
Vanilla scents are calming and soothing, while lavender also encourages sleep. Taking a whiff of these powerful scents can help you de-stress and remove yourself from the tension just long enough to simmer down.
After a recent argument, I vented about what happened to my sister. Then my mother. Then my mother-in-law. Then some friends. Then (again) to my husband. I think that was a mistake--not a mistake to share the story, but a mistake to repeat it again and again. All that did was get me worked up and indignant all over again. Instead, tell the story to a very inner circle, and to others who know you had an argument, either have a one-sentence summary or just ask them to support you in calming down.
Shake Your Shoulders - Most of us collect tension in the areas in the back of the neck, shoulders, and upper body. Next time you're having a tense moment, notice how your shoulders may be hunched in and how the muscles are contracting. Shaking your shoulders will give you a much-needed posture adjustment, helping you breathe naturally and calming you down. –
Let It Out & Move On - Remind yourself to = Hiss, spit, and get over it.
Respect Different Opinions - Count to ten, then twenty, and if still not calm, literally run until you're out of breath.
Next Slide: Heal Thyself - I find that it is hard sometimes for people to realize that an argument is an expression of difference of opinion, and we all are entitled to our own opinion. That doesn't mean that either of us is wrong, just different. I try to remind myself of this: it is not always what you say, but HOW you say it, so say it with God’s guidance and a pure heart. AND SAY IT SO tHE OTHER PERSON HEARS IT without judgment, without reprimand - just keep the message simple and direct! This can help keep you to remain calm during and after an argument.
Breathe It Out - Do Reiki, put your hands over your heart. You can't possibly stay angry that way.
If you are repeatedly arguing with your spouse, co-workers, friends, etc. THEN it's time to see the underlying reasons. CALL ME AND I WILL DELVE INTO THE INNER LAYERS AND YOUR CELLULAR MEMORY BANK TO PURGE THE TRIGGERS CREATING these experiences.
Blessings of abundance, peace, prosperity and serenity.
Arielle
Going Forward - knowing how to fly -
Limits are necessary to give purpose and direction to life. Swimming in a sea of boundless opportunity would eventually lead to exhaustion and drowning. Winging it alone in a sky of boundless opportunity would lead to being lost. In human affairs, the making of choices, and alliances, implies limitation, for in choosing one path another must be abandoned.
One key to a successful life is to select your limits consciously and carefully — to be discriminating in the setting of personal boundaries and knowing when to join in formation. Thrift, for example, often precedes prosperity; just as the letting go of selfish interests leads to greater personal reward. Only by consciously accepting useful limits can one's energy be channeled to good purpose, and lead to lasting accomplishments.
Point yourself toward a middle way between discipline and freedom of spirit. Limits will come of their own accord; but to be able to consciously select your own affiliations in life — that's knowing how to fly! At the same time, don't go overboard with discipline. Even self-correction must be limited, so that in attempting to bring order and direction into your life you do not choke off vital sources of enthusiasm and spontaneity.
Similarly, in groups and partnerships, agreed upon rules or regulations should strike a balance between being too strict and too soft. If too strict, they build frustration and ultimately become destructive. If too lenient, sloppiness becomes acceptable, and positive energy is dissipated. The best path is one that allows for the fulfillment of individual potential, while supporting self-discipline and focus.
BELIEVE>CONCEIVE>RECEIVE :)