Bel's Light

There are two words that make me cringe in love readings:  Soulmate and Twinflame.  Why?  Because it seems every relationship must include one of those two definitions and I think honestly the desperate search for one or the other is very often something that takes away individual power.
I am going to focus on soulmates here because to me that is what most of us encounter many times in our lives.  Twinflames are rather rare in my opinion and not something that I am familar enough with to discuss with any level of real knowledge.
What is a soulmate?  A soulmate is not what many people think they are.  Often one considers a soulmate that "perfect" love relationship that lasts forever and never faces struggle.  Nothing could be further from the truth.
A soulmate is another soul that you have agreed to come into this lifetime with and learn a life lesson from.  These relationships are often the most difficult and rest assured "love" is often a term that you will not use to describe such a relationship.
A few of my soulmates:
My daughter (technically step-daughter): Truly the greatest love of my life without question.  She is more like me than she is her biological mother and good heavens that can make me want to beat my head against the wall on a daily basis.  She has been the source of my greatest joy but also my greatest heartaches.  Our relationship while it has always been an incredible one filled with love this child can push every button I have in 2.5 seconds without ever batting an eyelash.  I have loved her with all I have and yes there have been days that I have had to tell her to take herself into another room before she pushed me over the edge.  When my ex-husband left; she went with him as I have no legal rights to her but what she has taught me and continues to teach me is this:  blood makes zero difference when love is involved, parenting doesn't come from biology and when a child is ripped out from under you, it devastates you in a way that you never totally recover: Again, biology doesn't make a bit difference.  She has also taught me that the love between a mother and child never ceases even when the mother is not in her daily life and now lives 2000 miles away.  Love when it's real isn't hard; it just is.
My Ex-Mother-In-Law:  The best part of my divorce is that I am no longer related to this woman.  I try very hard to not hate anyone but this woman sure pushes my lessons in forgiveness, loving beyond someone's actions, compassion and oh yes BOUNDARIES!!!!!  If I go to far into my relationship with this particular woman, this will become scathing and I prefer not to do that.  Let's just say, the mere mention of her name can annoy me and the sound of her voice literally causes my blood pressure to raise.  This is a relationship from about the first week we met that has pushed me over the edge.  She is downright mean, spiteful and it doesn't occur to her that breaking the law is an issue in order to get what she wants.  Anybody want my soulmate?  I'll happily pay you to take her off my hands.  My lesson here:  To hold my own and maintain a level of decorum and dignity even when someone is in my face screaming at me, doing all she can and admitting to trying to destroy my family and my life and I am quite sure, though with her I have not mastered this one:  FORGIVENESS.  I'll let you know when I learn this lesson entirely.
My Best Friend:  A man with whom I have zero romantic interest (as he has none toward me either) and is just about my polar opposite and yet that one person that I trust implicitly to always be there for me.  He thinks I'm nuts and I think he is here to amuse me.  I am a bit loud, very outspoken and NOTHING is taboo to speak about openly.  He, on the other hand is Mr. Modesty and then some.  He is a hopeless romantic and I am allergic to sappy crap as I call it.  He has also been the one person in this world that I trust, that I count on and that I know will never judge me.  In many ways I am in love with him but again not in a romantic way.  The lesson I have learned from him:  Trust is not always so scary and what unconditional love truly feels like and of course he has learned from me to not go through the Burger King drive thru with me on the phone and expect me to not make at least one crude remark.
My Ex-Husband:  Romantically, this man was the love of my life.  We connected on every possible level and then some.  Passion was through the roof, love was deeper than I had ever known and when we fight it's just as intense as the rest and often can be very ugly and nasty.  Take two insecure people who have been beat up by life, have them fall in love and struggle against destructive families, a tour in Iraq, have their home foreclosed on while both attempt to deal with PTSD and well:  Soulmates? yes, pretty? No.  You end up with two people who can't be together but don't know how to be apart either.  One woman who has to finally figure out who she is, what makes her happy and how to function on her own.  We loved one another deeply, we hurt one another deeply and in truth one way or another we will always be connected.  Now that we are divorced, we were finally able to get back to that point of remembering all the reasons we loved one another and where that will take us heaven only knows.  The lessons I have learned from this man are too many to list and I believe there are still more to come for the both of us.  This relationship in so many ways is the easiest I have ever known and the hardest.  Loving him seemed effortless more often than not until it fell apart but I never could hate him, no matter how much he hurt me.  I believe the most important lesson I learned from him came after he left:  Never give up yourself for another person, always know your worth, always know who you are and always be true to yourself.  Not an easy one to learn, but in my opinion the most important I have ever had to learn in this lifetime.
Before you ask for your soulmate, make sure you know what you are asking for because very few soulmate relationships are easy and most can break your heart in ways you never imagined but if you look for the value in them, they are always a gift in some way and yes, sometimes you even get that magical, forever and forever kind of love out them.
Today, as I look back on my lessons and soulmates, I don't ask for a soulmate on the romantic level any longer.  I ask for someone who rocks my world down to the core of my soul (I am someone who has Venus in Sag and I must have passion), a best friend, a partner in llife and someone who accepts me for exactly who I am.  If that person is a soulmate, well, I haven't totally decided.  I am a little wary of romantic soulmates these days but I am open to one that comes with easier lessons.
When a soulmate relationship is recognized for what they are, you will find them to be some of the most fufilling you ever have just don't expect them to be all hearts and flowers.  Without these relationship we sometimes forget to grown on our own and sometimes these are also the relationships that we fail to allow ourselves to move on.
Be cautious that you don't allow a soulmate relationship to become a relationship that keeps you imprisoned beyond it's time.  These relationships are intense and sometimes can be addicting for that very reason.  They can also be very unhealthy when you try to hold on to something that has served it's purpose.
Even in soulmate relationships, they do often come to and end.  It's not always easy but find a way to release both of you and move forward, grateful for the lessons and stronger because of all that you have learned.

It seems lately my blogs have been rants and I swear normally I am a pretty upbeat person but this is something that really sticks in my craw.
I am "technically" the step-mother to an amazing 15 year young woman who is truly the greatest love of my life.  Her father and I are now divorced but we realized recently that maybe that was not what either of us really wanted and are working through some things with hope that we just might find our way back as two stronger people...but I digress.
My step-daughter is my heart and soul.  She was not quite two when she stepped into my life and quickly helped me see why so many mom's dye their hair (it's to cover the gray caused by children too much like ourselves) and why they sleep with one eye open and the bone chilling terror that hits when your child is in the yard playing and you heard the sound of brakes slamming and tires squealing only to burst into tears of relief when you see your child sitting in the sandbox in the yard oblivious to the fact that you heart stopped for a moment and their lives and what their lives were to be flashed before your eyes.
When she came into my life at such a young age, she had already been through hell with a biological mother that didn't seem too interested in her, witnessing her mother get arrested and taken to child welfare until her father was reached to come get her, she has been ignored, neglected and called names that I would not even call my worst enemy as an adult, let alone a small child.
Her daddy was her only constant, her only real security and the only person she had really bonded with and in I walked.  Crazy in love with her daddy and showing up in life as her biological mother seemed to disappear off the face of the earth (she would resurface several years later).  Let's just say this little girl seemed to have two words for me "MY DADDY".  She didn't have much use for me and honestly it hurt my feelings.  How could she not see that I loved her daddy and I wanted to love her and yet she was horrible to me?  Because she was a little child who didn't know if I was going to take her daddy away from her; that's how.  It took time, love and much reassuring that I was not taking her daddy and we came to agreement that we could share him and love him.  The time came when her daddy had an overly bewildered look on his face as she crawled between the two of us on the couch one evening and my ever so tactful child reached over, swatted her daddy and said "MY BEL" and shoved him over.  "I think I have been replaced." he stated to me, I shrugged and cuddled my daughter.
Many years later after her biological mother came back to the picture our daughter remained living with her daddy and I.  We had devoloped our own unique relationship which included a great deal of playful banter.  While on the phone with her bio mom, my daughter said something to me, I said something silly back and she made a comment about me only being her step-mom.  I laughed it off as many years previous she had choosen of her own volition to start calling me mommy.  This was silliness and it didn't effect me but it seems she spent some time thinking about it and the next day apologized for it.  I told her then, it was fine and she always had the right to decide who I was in her life.  The next words will ring in my ears for the rest of my life "Well, I don't really think of you as my step-mom; I just think of you as mom."  Not before or since have any more beautiful words been said to me.  Because I don't think of her as my step-daughter; she is just my daughter and even now that I live 2000 miles away and her daddy and I are no longer married, it is still me she calls when life gets to be to much or to tell me about some teenage boy that I am convinced I am going to hate or to complain about school and of course in hopes of getting me to mediate between her and her father when he is so unfair because he won't let her stay out till 11 on a school night or go on a date with a boy in a car (fat chance she is going to convince me to talk him out of it).
If you are dating someone with children:  Remember those children were there before you and if the parent puts those children aside for YOU, is this somone you want to have children with?  I sure as heck wouldn't.  It is not the job of the children to make it OK for you; it is your job to make it OK for them.  YOU are the outsider and it is your job to make an effort to fit in.  Any man or woman that would push their children aside for anyone else is certainly not someone I would want to spend my life with and be assured if my ex-husband I don't work things out there is nobody that will ever come before my daughter.  If they want to be a part of my life, they will accept that my daughter is now and always my first priority and the person I will always love more than anyone else.  Take it or leave it!

I'd like to address the issue of free minutes.  I apologize if this offends anyone but I think sometimes callers truly don't understand what they are requesting.
I rarely give out free minutes to anyone but a regular client.  Why?  Because many take the few minutes I offer call with "When is Joe going to call" and hang up.  Here are some facts:
 With a new caller it takes me a couple of minutes to get a good "feel" for them, so in the 2 or 3 minutes that they get free, I am just getting to a point that I have information starting to come in.  This wastes both my time and the callers time if they aren't willing to continue the call.
 An average reading that you are going to have a chance of getting to the core of anything including why your cat is behaving the way she does, requires an average of 10-15 minutes if you want more than "He doesn't feel good today".  Why doesn't he feel well, etc... takes a few minutes to get the information.
Psychics, Intuitives, Tarot Readers, Mediums and so forth are not Magic 8 Balls, you can't shake us once and get the right answer and often the "right" answer is not the answer you were expecting or hoping for.  Very often when news is delievered to a caller that is not what they wanted they are known to argue with me, be rude and yes on occasion I have had someone yell at me (at which point I say good-bye).  Most of us, truly have a desire to help you along your path and 2 or 3 minutes does not give you the information you need, even if there is already a good connection between you and your reader.
Another reason I don't offer free minutes to those who are not regular callers:  This is truly my living.  Often what we do appears easy and in many ways for those of us who have worked with our ability for any length of time the information normally does come easily but it's not always easy on us physically or emotionally.  Being an empath of both the physical body and emotional body this is exhausting on my body and mind.  If your head hurts, so does mine.  If you are depressed, I feel the same way.  It takes time and energy to clear that off of me after we are finished, this is time that I could be focusing on family, friends or just making a trip to Starbucks that I have to take, to clear my body to be sure that I don't carry that with me through the day. 
Most advisors as you develop a relationship with them will send you free minutes here and there as a thank you for your business.  I do this and most others do as well.  Free minutes are a gift from us to you but not something that I take kindly to someone sending me an email and saying "Send me free minutes and I will leave you good feedback".   This will get you blocked by me.  My feedback is what it is because I don't bribe and seldom do I even ask anyone to leave it. I appreciate it but like free minutes it is not required for a good read.

One of the things I have learned along my journey is that most people have a level of empathy.  That is how we understand and recognize pain in others.  Some of us are more tuned into our empathic side than others, but I do believe just as we all come into this world with intuition; we also come in with empathy.

Just how empathic are you?  Have you ever walked into a room feeling just fine and within minutes found yourself not feeling well or on edge?  Has there been a huge change in how you feel?  Maybe you notice every time a certain person comes near you, you get a backache or your mood alters.  If you have ever felt this way it is very, very likely that you have had an empathic experience.

So what to do with all of this.  Well, you can work on fine tuning your abilities if you so choose or if you prefer, you can just shield yourself a little better to prevent becoming a psychic sponge.

Protecting yourself is very simple and there are many ways to do it.  Empathy is a way of picking up on others energy and taking it on to yourself and it can be a little annoying when it's not something you want.

The easiest way to shield yourself is to surround yourself in white light.  Literally just see yourself surrounded by the beautiful white light of the Universe.  Then pull your energy back to you.  This is easily done by taking a deep breath and stating 5 things about yourself.  I prefer the "I am" method but you can use anything that works for you.
"I am" is just like this.

I am 43 years old
I am feeling good today
I am 5'1"
and so on....whatever you are is fine.  You can also do "I like's", etc....  just make sure it's totally about you.  You are shifting your attention away from everything but you. 

If you wish to explore your empathic side further, I am always here to assist you in that but by no means do you have to do anything with it that isn't what you want to do at this time.  Own your own space and your own energy at all time.

As I look at the year behind me and look forward to the one ahead, I am amazed at how far I have come in just a year.

Last year at this time, my heart was breaking and I was still trying to fix a marriage that was beyond repair.  Funny how things change when you see them clearly.

Today, my divorce is final and instead of grieving the loss of a marriage that was causing me more pain than happiness, I am preparing to live my own life on my own terms.

All of my life, I have either been told where I was going to live by my parents or I was "stuck" based on a spouse who was too afraid to cut apron strings and step away from Mommy and Daddy.  I never made my own choices.

Today, I look around my apartment and most of it is packed into boxes.  I don't have a lot as the ex took just about everything we had when he left and I was forced to start fresh.  I think I always knew I wasn't going to be here long enough to really settle in, so in the boxes are clothes, a few pots and pans, my mixmaster, books and sentimental items.    Of couse the computer will be packed just before I walk out the door.

I am moving from Upper Michigan to Portland and then in time somewhere in Washington State.  I am doing what I want to do and doing on my time schedule and only for me.

While my family seems to want me to find a "nice man" to take care of me; I am happy on my own for now.  I will never again need anyone to "take care" of me.  THAT I am capable of doing for myself.

Living life on my terms, means I will never again settle for almost right or almost enough in any aspect of my life including my love life.  My terms means he will be the man that I want not the man that just appears and is willing to accept me.  I don't have to settle for less than being a priority, I don't have to settle for someone who finds every possible fault that I have nor do I have to settle for someone who doesn't put me first.  When the time comes that I am ready to move forward in love, I have high expectations and will not settle for less.

This time, I am going to live according to my terms, my wants and my desires versus living for the wants and needs of someone else.

Live life on your terms!

Christmas is normally a very difficult time for me, as Christmas Eve was my Grandpa's birthday and since his passing in 2001, I just haven't "felt" the same magic of the holiday.

My Grandpa celebrated his birthday every year with a HUGE party, the house was packed all night with people coming and going.  Some stayed for the whole party, some just stopped by for a short time to join in the fun.  For me, I can't really remember Christmas mornings as a child, but I remembered Christmas Eve and I waited all year for that night.

Celebrating since his promotion to heaven just didn't feel right, there has never been another party and we have all gone our seperate ways.  I miss those parties.

This year, I am packing up my apartment preparing to move, will make a 300 mile trip to spend one last holiday season with some of my family before moving to the opposite coast and say good bye.

As I make my plans for my new life, I have also made a choice.  Next year in my new home, I am going to have a party on Christmas and I will make Grandpa's famous meatballs.  My Grandpa would hate that I dread the holidays and feel sad so I am going to choose to honor him and celebrate his birthday as he did every year; with the people I love.  Now if I could just get him to come down from heaven to teach me how he made his homemade pasta :)

Celebrate the holidays in honor of your loved ones that may not be here in the physical to share them with you.  Set a plate at the table for them as I have no doubt they will be there with us all.

My life is getting better by the day!

In October I finalized my divorce that I had held on to for far too long.  It was a rather surreal experience since the ex and I don't hate one another, we sat in the courtroom waiting our turn, chatting and teasing one another.  We still care about the other but we also can't be with one another.

I honestly thought I would never get over this man.  Guess what?  I was wrong!   While I will always have a place in my heart for him as we were married for close 12 years, I am no longer in love with him and I can't see where he would  fit into the life I have worked so hard to build.  Coming out of the courthouse I felt as if a thousand pound burden had been lifted from my shoulders.  While we had been seperated for 18 months, I was still energetically married to this man.  The process of the court gave me the final cut I needed.

Suddenly the world was right there in front of me, just waiting for me to grab it up!  Everything became a new experience and I could feel that old feeling coming back to me.  That feeling of excitement to see what was to come, that feeling of anticipation and that feeling of passion.  I am not talking sexual passion; I am talking about passion for life and all that it holds for me.

I started focusing on my bath and body business and on even more importantly on myself.  The sweats went into the garbage and I found some cute clothes at a local thrift store and also some fabulous sales online (I got a pair of name brand jeans for 2.00).

I didn't have to spend a fortune and I didn't have to go get a breast enhancement to feel better about myself, I just started giving myself the attention I had been giving to someone else and it opened everything up for me.

Yes, men started giving me attention and I was in a place that was healthy enough to know that this is MY time and I am not letting anyone ever take over my life again.  I am not ready for a relationship, so while I was flattered, I said thanks but no.

I have also made the decision to pick up and move to the West Coast where there is a place for someone such as myself to find a community that supports what I do.  I will be leaving after the holidays.

Getting passionate about my life, gave me the courage and the strength to step outside of the safety net of my life and find what I wanted for me!

Are you passionate about your life or are you just getting through each day?

I can't tell you how many people I talk to who don't understand why their love interest or mate always seems to busy for them and I am known to ask the person calling when the last time they made time for themself was.

It's always interesting the responses I get.  "I am so busy, I just don't have time."  "I'm planning to do that sometime next decade."  Sorry folks but you are the root of the problem.

If you can't find yourself worthy enough in your own eyes to make time just for you.  How on earth can you expect anyone else to deem you worthy of their time?

I've been there.  I was raising two special needs children, going to a major University, working and trying to keep a husband happy believe me, I KNOW what it feels like to not have 5 minutes to just breathe let alone do anything.  I finally had a total emotional and physical collapse that put me out of work and out of school where I was maintaining a 3.8 GPA.  I had two choices.  Take time for me or kill myself trying to be everything to everyone.

I learned that even a quiet bath with a "Do Not Distrub" sign on the door could be just the ticket to my peace of mind.  I strongly suggest taking more time than that but give yourself at least 30 minutes per day that is just yours. 

Make a date with yourself and make it about you.  Honest!  The kids will survive for 30 minutes in front of the TV or gameboy (no I don't recommend this often but sometimes it's a must!)  Their brains won't go to mush if you do this once in awhile.  They can also survive on the occasional carry out so you have a few minutes for yourself.  The world will manage without you chasing after the next load of laundry or the perfect meal for a little while and you will feel so much better.

I know the excuses and the reasons you just can't take the time.  I can also list the reasons you can't afford not to take that time.

Do you really want someone to make time for you?  Then you better start with yourself.

The story is too long to tell but I don't have a relationship with my family.  Much of it stems from being molested by mother mother's husband and having the courage to step up and never back down about what happened to me and later my little sister.

I have a relationship with one member of my family and that is my Aunt.  When my life went haywire my Aunt was going through her own life altering situation and due to moves, new phones, etc... we lost touch with one another.

Recently, I have had some contact with my Grandpa who crossed over in 2001 and each time I would feel him near me in the past six months I felt a strong pull to get in touch with my Aunt.  I looked everywhere online I could think to find an address, phone number, anything.  Like me she is very private and kept most of that unlisted.

Three days ago while doing a search on Hurricane Iniki (1992), looking for footage of her wedding.  For those who remember this or saw the "It's A Miracle" episode, my Aunt is the woman who got married in Hawaii right after the hurricane in the radio station.  I was looking for some footage of my Grandpa when he was still here with us.  What I found instead was my Aunt's myspace page and I made contact.

I am blessed with good friends who talked me through the next 24 hours as I had moments of the expectation of rejection--old childhood stuff having nothing to do with my Aunt.

She contacted me and was thrilled to hear from me.  She now lives just a few hours away from me and I have connected with the 18 year old cousin I have only seen twice in his life (they have lived in Hawaii all of his life).  He is a little sweetheart with a great deal on his young shoulders.

My Aunt who is only 14 years older than myself is very sick, her lungs are failing and she is on an oxygen tank.  She just got out of the hospital after a two month stay and lung surgery that doesn't seem to be helping.

I know now, why I found her at this time and I KNOW my Grandpa had everything to do with me finding her.

Please keep my Aunt Donna in your prayers.  She is one of the few people in this world who loves unconditionally with no agenda.  She helps teens that are in trouble and would give the shirt off her back if asked.  This world needs more like her but the truth for me; I need her!

Don't ignore those nudges to do something.  They truly do mean something.

OK first and foremost I want to state that I am follower of Astrology and hope to be a student of Astrology soon.

With that said (I am inviting those who are Astrologer's here to correct anything or just please give insight).

I can't help what your Astrological forecast says, I will still give you the reading based on the information I get.  From the best I understand.  Astrology is a blueprint and you can tweak it or use it in ways to your advantage.  Also if you are just reading the forecast in the TV guide or newspaper keep in mind you are not getting the full information because that is a general reading of your sun sign, they have no idea what the rest of your chart says and that can change things tremendously.

For example:  I am a Libra with a rising of Leo.  Libra's love beauty and that I can say is accurate.  BUT throw that Leo in there and my passive, peacemaking Libra has a temper that has been known to back 350 lb men into walls.  Libra is the only air sign in my entire chart...I am mostly fire and earth and the fire is a HUGE part of my personality.  I could probably use a bit more earth as I tend to live a bit too much on the edge for most people.

Please don't assume, I will understand your chart nor will I allow it to influenece me.  I will attest to the fact that communication slows down to a crawl for most people during mercury retrograde but I can also say when my ruling planet of Venus goes into Retrograde, my love life seems to improve...

If you want an accurate Astrolgy reading, I suggest you step away from the newspaper and find a good astrologer who can explain your ENTIRE chart to you.

I am happy as can be today!  I live in a place that I love but it had one nasty problem, the people who lived in the apartment next to mine.

I live in a small building that houses 4 apartments, I believe it used to be a small hunters resort type place as it's on a deer feeding ground, but I digress.  I had neighbors that gave new meaning to trash!  Fist fights in the yard, constant screaming and hearing the f bomb dropped at 2 am outside my bedroom window were common occurances.  The other two tennants couldn't be better but this family was a nightmare.  The landlords are an elderly couple and felt sorry for them is my belief, so they kept getting away with the bad behavior.

I decided that I was going to live in peace and starting using the law of attraction to make it happen.  I kept visualizing that they found a wonderful home that was big enough for the entire family and they loved it!  I started this last winter.

While I was in Seattle last month it seems I got new neighbors.  Given I stay to myself  quite a bit, I wasn't sure if the couple that was there were new people or additional relatives of the old people that often came and went.  At times there were up to 8 people in a two bedroom apartment over there.

I met the new people today, they are a really nice young couple who are expecting their first baby next month amd they are very very quiet!  Yes, I expect baby noises to come from their apartment soon, but that is much better than screaming and fighting.

To make matters even better I talked with all of my neighbors today and everyone is fine with me planting a veggie garden next year, I can finally have my vegatables and can them again!!!!!!!!!  I have no problem sharing, seriously how much are they going to eat and I normally WAY over plant.

Now my home is perfect!  It took a little while and I was beginning to wonder if it would ever happen.  Sometimes it just takes a little patience!

I have a few rules about my readings and I won't waver on any level from them.  The main one is that I will never, ever tell someoe else what to do.

I get calls often from people asking "should I end my relationship?" "Should I leave my job?"  "Should I take up skydiving?"  My answer every single time will be the same.  I can give you the information to make your decision but I will not tell you what is right or wrong for you.  Just because I might handle a situation one way does not mean that is what you will or even should do.

If you are looking for a way to improve your current situation we can talk and discuss various ways that Law Of Attraction can help you but beyond that, it is not my place to tell you what is right for you.

Calling a psychic will not give you the answers, while we can give you the information to make choices, in the end, the decision is yours and yours alone.

One of my strongest skills is empathy.  While others may "see" or "hear"; I "feel".  Empathy is not uncommon but it is probably the least understood because most of us were born with some level of empathy.  It is familar from birth so we don't always recognize when we are being overwhelmed by someone else.

Have you ever felt sick only to discover that someone close to you felt exactly the same way?  Ever walked into a room feeling great and for no obvious found yourself feeling lousy within a few minutues?  That is empathy.  You are very likely picking up on the energy, physical and emotional feeling of those around you.

There are several forms of empathy; I am a physical and emotional empath, so for obvious reasons this is what I will address.

For me, when asked about someone I take a few seconds, ask for permission to connect and then connect with that energy.  99% of the time, I will get information that is most pertinent at the moment.  So, while you may want to know if he is mad at you, if he has a raging headache, I will get that information first. It normally takes me a minute or so to get beyond the physical pain.  If there is psyical pain, I will feel it in my own body.  Sudden pain always tells me that it does not belong to me.  This works nicely when I am focusing on someone and sitting in my house by myself; not so well in the local Walmart where I have energy coming at me from every direction.

Emotions for me are the hardest to let go of after a reading and harder to sift through yours versus theirs when doing a reading.   The first wave of emotion I will get 99% of the time will be yours, as I am directly connecting with you from the moment I pick up the phone.  As human beings most of us understand emotion and can feel it through voice, touch or even sight.  When you see someone who looks like they have had the day from hell, most of us feel a bit of sympathy and understanding.  For some we literally feel empathy and can feel that this person has has a rough day and they just want to go home and go to sleep.

This is one of the reasons, that I don't like to work with someone who is overwhelmed in  severe emotional pain or anger.  These two emotions are stronger than any other including love when I am working with someone empathically.  Anger overwhelms and doesn't feel good to me so my body responds to this and as most human beings when anger is flying at you, I go into self protective mode.  It is hard for me to get beyond that.  This is a problem when it is you that is so angry.  I can disconnect from a second party, but the person with whom, I am directly connected, I can't disconnect so easily.  If you are that angry, take a few minutes and ground your energy and calm down before contacting an empath if you want a clear reading.

The feeling of love is amazing even when I am picking it from someone else, it makes me as giddy as the person who is in love and it's a joy to find that among two people.  I can't read his mind and tell you exactly what he is thinking, as I am not a mind reader, but I can tell you how strong his level of emotions are toward you.

I believe almost everyone is empathic on some level.  Pay attention to your body and your emotions the next time you are in a crowded room and see if you notice a difference around different people.

It's amazing a small shift in your thinking can create huge shifts in your life.  We have two way to look at things:  We can see all that is wrong or all that is right.

I will admit, I am like anyone else, if something goes wrong, I am quick to see what is wrong but more and more, I am able to find more about what is right about the situation and it quickly changes not only my perspective but it seems that more things are going right than wrong in my life.

On August 6th, I was pulled over and given a speeding ticket.  Most people are hard pressed to find anything good in paying a speeding ticket but in my case it was truly a gift.  I was preparing to take a flight to Seattle the next day and given I always carry my drivers liscense in my car, I just assumed it was there.  Much to my surprise when I opened the armrest and discovered my liscense was not in there I began to panic.  The Officer was very nice  and in that moment of panic spoke kindly to me, telling me it was not a huge thing, I could just bring it in and show it and that ticket would clear it up.  Explaining that it wasn't that but the fact that I had a plane to catch the next day and I could not imagine where my liscense was, because I never took it out of the car. 

The Officer was a nice man and calmed me down by talking to me, he asked me to think back to the last time I remembered having it.  Within a few seconds, I realized it was in my checkbook sitting on the kitchen counter at home.  Yes, he did give me a speeding a ticket but it was for only 5 over instead of the close to 20 over I was really going.  While I don't normally go that fast, between a new car that I wasn't used to having it easily move compared to the old that barely moved, a great song on the radio and no other cars on the road, I was going a speed that was not safe and I well deserved that ticket.  I was more than grateful to this Officer for not being mean and actually being incredibly kind to me.

In the end, getting pulled over was a blessing in disguise.  Yes, it was an inconvience but not for a minute do I think I didn't deserve to be pulled over.  But the airport is almost a 5 hour drive for me, had I arrived without my liscense I would not have been allowed to get through security and would have missed my flight entirely.   Missing my flight would have caused me to be late to my conference and messed up many others schedule because of it.

An experience I could have found nothing but bad in, turned out to be something that was truly good.  My flight went off without a hitch, I got through security quick and easily and arrived in Seattle without a single problem.  Others had flight issues, delays, scary flights, etc... Mine was a joy.

I'd rather see what went right than what went wrong.  Try it for just one day:  When something goes wrong, find just one thing in it that is not bad and could even be a good thing.  The more you find the good, the good there will be for you to find!

I can't tell you how many calls I get from women in particular after a first date with someone, asking me what he wants from the relationship.  Pay attention because I am going to save you a ton on of money on Psychics here! :P

After one date MOST do not yet know what they want beyond maybe seeing you again.  A first date does not a relationship make, shoot it doesn't even make a friendship.  It is to find out if you can tolerate the person through dinner and a movie and making sure he doesn't chew with his mouth open and he doesn't drive drunk.  You don't even know one another's middle names yet!

At this point the best I can offer you as a psychic is to tell you if I see you having another date or not.   If you really want to know how he feels, the honest answer is he is figuring that out as are you.  In the event the man is checking the size of your left ring finger on the first date I highly suggest you run for the hills because he is not looking for a partner he is either looking to have someone take care of him of fill a gap in his life and it won't really matter who that person is.  YOU are worth better than that.

Dating in my opinion is the time you take to discover that he won't let one food touch the other on his plate or he eats in some kind of order.  He discovers that while you love chocolate it is only milk chocolate and you gag at any other form.

You learn about the person, you take the time and if you do it right, you are embracing the journey and not trying to force something that hasn't had the time to grow yet.