No
matter who you are, what you've done or what anyone else has done to
you, the universe has a plan for lifting your life to its highest
heights STARTING RIGHT NOW. Our realization, if even for an instant,
that the universe is indeed that perfectly loving and perfectly powerful
is the thought that opens the hatches and lets it all in.
How many of us try to push that square peg in a round hole? That means trying to make the man you're interested in conform to how you want him to be, which, by the way, NEVER works. A man cannot be guilted into,shamed into, blamed into, argued into,out-talked into or pressured into loving you. So quit trying.Shift your focus from him to you. Yes, that's where the emphasis should be, not on the man..........."But I give and give and give", wailed Linda(not her real name)." He'll never find anyone who's as giving as I am," she said proudly......What Linda really needed to learn is that a man can sense a mile a way a woman who is "auditioning" for him, being a case study in over-giving so he'll like her more. Ladies, "giving,giving and giving" is NOT what makes a man fall in love. He views the woman as needy and insecure...What makes a man fall in love with you is how you make him feel about himself, not the "giving, giving and giving."
Now, before you get all wadded up and presume I'm advocating narcissist withholding, I assure you that isn't the case at all. It's a matter of using your head, not your sense of panic that you might lose him. Men love to give, and love the appreciation you shower on them for having done so. The best gift you can give a man is a compliment..."That was the most delicious clam chowder I ever had. You sure know how to pick great restaurants."..."Thanks so much for repairing my screen door. You're a life saver!" When the woman does the giving, men feel a little uncomfortable.They may not say it but they know it comes with a secret expectation. So does this mean you never give? Absolutely not! What it does mean is that you never give the man more than he's giving to you.The compliments are to be abundant. The tangible gifts are to be infrequent. If you want to make him a home cooked meal, buy him a cute card, surprise him with some crazy looking socks, go right ahead...ASSUMING he's been giving of himself on a regular basis.
If the man in question is remote, you really can't change that. So rather than pursue him, here is where you change your attitude. You face the situation for what it is, i e, the man doesn't want you as much as you want him. Rather than try to persuade him which is never going to happen, LET GO. Pick up your pride and put it back in your psyche. You'll be OK, no matter how much you are telling yourself that's not possible. The sun will come up in the morning. You'll eventually find that inner peace you so desperately need, and life will again have color. If you can;t change the situation, change the way you think about it. You will be so much happier!
- Can I attract the kind of person who will actually be the
RIGHT partner for me?.
- Can I clear out the obstacles, such as the memory of past
lovers and heartache, that are energetically keeping away any possibility of a mate?.
- Can I experience the love and connection I crave? .
- Can I forgive myself for mistakes I've made in the past,
and open my heart to the kind of relationship I really need ?
- Why are my past relationships the key to understanding my experiences with men?
The above questions are ones I hear on a regular basis, and all have a common denominator: the fear of being unloved, going through life alone. This fear permeates our thoughts which spawn actions..it is these fear based actions that keep away the very thing we want.
Example: "Juliette" (not her real name) calls crying because Nathan (not his real name either), a man she's been involved with for 9 years but has distanced himself from her over the past year or so , is now seeing "Lilly." So what does Juliette do? Instead of backing away gracefully with her pride and dignity in tact, she escalates her pursuit of Nathan. He takes her up on having sex(though he refuses having a real date with her). He does NOT step back into the relationship. In fact , he avoids and ignores her. Juliette calls sobbing deeply hurt, and wanting to lash out......, "when will they break up?" It's her feeling if only Lilly was out of the way she'd have Nathan back. Here are the facts:
Lilly is not the problem. If she was out of the picture Nathan could easily find a replacement. The problem is one Juliette doesn't want to face: Nathan doesn't care for her the same way she cares for him. So she ups her campaign to impress him, lure him, entice him, sway him all to no avail. Juliette is miserable such that she can't eat or sleep. She's frustrated that someone else hasn't come into her life. How could that happen when she's totally consumed with fantasies about Nathan, a man who has told her he's not in love with her. How could her misery be avoided? Juliette could recognize that she's allowed herself to fall into the jaws of obsession. These feelings, which are extremely intense (mired in the wounding of rejection), she calls love. However, this isnt love. Why?Because love doesn;t hurt.It feels good. Addiction, however, is painful, which is what Juliette is experiencing..The real issue here isn't Nathan's elusiveness. It's the part of Juliette that needs to be healed, the wounded child who felt unwanted. When that aspect of her belief system is healed, she will no longer attract drama, chaos, pain and the repeated pattern of rejection. Right now all she can focus on is Nathan. However, when she learns that it's her own core belief that has attracted this scenario to her, she will be on the road to attracting more affirming experiences. So afraid she'll "be alone forever", she accepts the most meager of crumbs, only to be disappointed...How different her life would be if she recognized her own worth, knew that it was possible to have a devoted, thriving relationship, and trusted that she will be OK no matter what. No need for fear, when trust and faith in her future are inspiring her thoughts.
Not a day goes by that I don't have a caller who complains because "all he does is text me.When will I get a real relationship with him?"
This has become a common lament as well as a habit-forming substitute for genuine relating. Years ago before there was this technology people spoke on the phone and, yes, even saw each other. Now with texting it provides a simulated relationship without having to develop real relationship skills, without having to face our own issues about emotional intimacy , being vulnerable, learning how to navigate the often challenging waters of relationships. The more we use texting as a stage upon which to relate the more habituated it becomes, the more entrenched we become in hiding behind the gadget.. It reinforces fears about relating by using that as a primary means of communication.THIS IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP, so don't kid yourself.
"So what am I supposed to do?" Corinne asked in frustration. The answer? Stop texting. If you "lose him" it means you never had him in the first place. Keep your texts to no more than TWO sentences, no exception. If he wants clarification or more information, let him stretch himself by phoning. Even phoning becomes a safety screen to hide behind. But atleast there's a voice to be heard, complete with inflection.
There cannot be a text-only relationship without your permission, your active participation. if you want a 3D relationship,
don't text. Let him want you enough to come out from hiding to be with you. When you keep the standards high, those standards will be met. When you settle for less you get less. Have enough faith in yourself to know you are worth live interacting.
The answer is, if you don't want a text-only relationship, don't text!
Heartbroken? Afraid your chance at love is passing you by? Miserable without him but know you must move forward? Feeling helpless, hopeless and devastated?
If so, you've come to the right place! Hypno Therapist Catherine Hickland has devised a plan called the 30 Day Heartbreak Cure. It's wonderful. I've enhanced it a hundredfold, converting it into a doable, easy-to-follow, amazingly successful program, and now offer this to you.
It's a straightforward day-to-day plan for healing heartache. It's been described as an effective, fun, proactive, and empowering map out of despair and into joy
in a mere 30 days. YES! Just one month! You'll love it! It's the best gift you could ever give yourself.
I am offering it to you for a mere $3.25 per day, because that's how much I care about you. It's not about the money, obviously, but about delivering you out of despair and into happiness. To introduce you to the program, I will offer the first day for FREE. If you like what you experience on Day One, you can sign up for the program just by sending me an email.. I look forward to being of service to you.
Give yourself the gift of peace of mind and joy.
Love and Light,
Desiree93
Yes,I know that question sounds crazy doesn't it? It HAS to be love. "I think about him all day long."..."The only time I'm ever happy is when I am with him"....."When we're apart I get anxious, nervous, worried, sad, upset and even panicky".."I've never felt this way about anyone before him"......"I will do ANYTHING for him, even if it impacts my job, causes me to short-change my kids, gets me in financial trouble etc"..."His approval means everything to me"....."I'll put up with anything I have to just to have him in my life(Other women, sponging off me for money, neglect, meanness, ignoring me, only coming around for sex etc etc)"....Are you calling, texting, emailing him far more than he does you?.. Have you answered YES to any of these? Even one? If so, then be assured that what you are experiencing is NOT love.Yes, the feelings are intense, and therefore easy to confuse with love. But here's the big difference: LOVE DOESN'T HURT. LOVE FEELS GOOD. What does hurt though is obsession, excessive attachment and the nearly frantic desire to get the person in question to feed back to you a sense of your own lovability...
The sad truth, my Dear Ones, is that what's described above is an addiction.It is no different than someone being addicted to drugs or alcohol. If only you could get a swallow from the bottle you'd feel so much better...just smelling the cork would mean so much. Conversely, when the substance is unavailable to you, you experience withdrawals..
How do you avoid getting addicted? There are 2 very significant things you can do. One is to NOT sleep with him till he shows you he cares about you with consistency, monogamy and a great deal of effort to see that you are happy and contented.You should NOT give away the most intimate gift you have to give to a man who gives you less than 100% of himself. Anything less than that, his heart, sets you up for serious pain, self-recrimination, and yes, that much dreaded addiction. Two, you make sure you have something else going on in your life that truly lights you up, other than him, ie, painting classes, volunteering for the less fortunate, learning a new language, training for a triathlon, tutoring an at-risk child, reading to the blind, learning to tango, visiting shut-in seniors,...you get to pick...Just fill up your life with things that make you a more fulfilled YOU.
Next, do not, not, not chase, even if he asks you to. NO MAN has ever been gotten because the woman chased him. They typically cool off when you do that. Let him be the man and go after what he wants. You will know when what he wants is you. If you have to call a psychic to ask how he feels about you, you already have the answer. Be assured that when a man loves a woman she knows it because he shows her with his behavior, not just words, how he feels.
So when you can truly love the woman who is looking back at you in the mirror, you will avoid putting her in the position of getting obsessed with a man. This woman will see herself as worthy of being honored because she honors herself.
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Every day someone calls with this concern. The circumstances
vary from person to person but the underlying foundation is the same. The
caller is insecure, frustrated, confused, hurting and full of anxiety. She needs answers
about this situation.
"Polly" (not her real name) has been seeing "Joe"(not his real
name either) for 3 years. Joe is married, and according to him his wife is
cold-hearted, demanding, argumentative and self-centered. He wants a divorce
but is waiting till the right time. He didn't initiate it during the
holidays so he could maintain his family unit . Polly was alone waiting
for him to sneak to the phone and give her a quick call. That never came. When
he did do after all the festivities were over and his family was asleep, was
send her a very brief text at 2 in the morning to let her know he was thinking
about her. Months went by and he did separate from his wife, but went back to her
supposedly because of his kids. Polly was very understanding of his explanation about his children, albeit
disappointed, and saw him whenever he could sneak away.
She savored those precious moments together, the passionate lovemaking, and the
sheer delight in just being with Joe, always fantasizing about their life together
when he'd finally divorce his wife and be hers. He assured her that he loved
her; he just had limited time because of his problems and urged her to be
patient. Polly was all too happy to prove her love for him by not complaining,
and just being glad to have him whenever he could drop by. Yet she was always hoping and anticipating the day
he'd finally announce he was free to marry her and make a life together.
As time wore on she got more panicky and discouraged so she began to call
psychics for answers. Many had assured her, "Oh yes, he'll leave his wife
within the month." When that deadline passed with no change she called
again. "Oh yes, just hang in there. He will be out of that marriage by the
4th Of July." That date came and went, and Joe was still not coming
forward. These assurances occurred over and over again, yet Polly hung on to
the hope she was being fed. Joe would see Polly when he felt like it, but
he was never fully invested in their relationship the way she’d hoped. He
managed to convince her he would do so though, declaring if she really loved
him she would give him time.
Polly continued to call psychics and continued to get encouraging
predictions. She was reassured that Joe
would indeed leave his wife and commit to her. At the point she called me,
she reported with great frustration the long stream of predictions that had
never come through. I could feel her anguish and sadness over the phone.
As I tapped in to my own Spirit Guide's messages, I was shown a
picture of a man who was happy with the status quo. He had the familiarity of a
marriage and the excitement of a piece on the side. The problem was how to tell
this to Polly without crushing her. I somehow got the words out, compassionately
but directly. Polly commented that she had actually sensed the same thing, and
as unhappy as she was, she was going to give him an ultimatum: He was to leave
his wife within 2 weeks and commit to her or she was leaving the
relationship. He chose to stay with his wife. So Polly did leave the
relationship with a badly broken heart, yearning for him to change his mind by
feeling the absence of her, and hoping he'd seek her out ready to make the change she so badly wanted. She
never heard from him again.
“Lola” was being wined and dined by “Raymond.” He was a
successful business man and she was a first rate professional providing quite a
contrast to his stay-at-home, country clubbing wife. He showered her with
gifts, romance and attention, assuring her he had never felt this way before
and knew they were soulmates. Lola fell hard. They planned their future
together, the travel, their own business, the children they would one day have.
He took her shopping for rings, discussed what kind of wedding they were going
to have and where they were going to live.
By now you probably have an inkling where this story is going.
I’ll shorten it by cutting to the chase. After 4 years of this he finally DID
leave his wife. Within 2 months of that he bumped into a high school
sweetheart. They reunited and he married her the day his divorce was final, six
months after he had left home. “Lola” is still seeing her therapist trying
to get over the shock, sorrow and agony.
“Gina” was seeing “Dan.”……Dan had a girlfriend. He told Gina
he was not very happy with his girlfriend and didn’t see a future with her. He
was planning on leaving her. Gina allowed a “friends with benefits”
relationship to ensue, knowing that he’d eventually see how much better she is for him than the girlfriend. She
texted him cute messages, monitored his Facebook page to see what he was doing and who his friends were, scoped out the
girlfriend for data, and provided him with plenty of sex. He told her he loved
her and did plan to leave the
girlfriend....eventually. Finally after many months of no movement on Dan’s part but a lot of
empty promises, she got angry, found the girlfriend and told her the story. The
girlfriend broke up with Dan just as Gina had hoped. However, Dan got angry and dumped Gina.
He refuses to take her calls. They haven’t spoken since. It's been over a year. She's still hurting.
Ladies, ladies, ladies, these are only 3 stories. I have a
million more. If you want to hear them write me and I’ll gladly share them with
you.
So what’s the lesson here? There are many. The first is, if
you feel bad, this situation is indeed bad for you. You must respect yourself enough to NOT be in a situation that feels bad, no matter how wonderful you feel the man is. Next is that this isn’t
love. It’s obsession. The commonality is that obsession and love both have intense
feelings. The difference is that LOVE DOESN’T HURT.LOVE FEELS GOOD. Here’s
another juicy nugget: When a man truly loves a woman he wants to be with her.
He would swim through shark infested water to bring her lemonade. If he's not with you, but instead with her, regardless of his reasons why, it's telling you a HUGE story which you just must, must, must pay attention to. Keep in
mind that what is done WITH you can easily be done TO you.
For the man with more than one woman, he’s getting the best
of both worlds. What he doesn’t get from one woman he gets from another. Why would he be in any rush to change a thing? You
are wanting him to give up a big chocolate sundae for a scoop of ice cream. Ask yourself why you would settle for less than you deserve. Why you’d convince yourself that a
situation defined by deception and a lack of integrity would bode well for you.Why it's OK for you to undermine another woman's relationship.
The trick here is to avoid this situation in the first
place.I know, I know...You are about to wail,"But I love himmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm." There is no love that is worth inviting pain and heartache into your life or inflicting it on another woman/ Can these situations ever work out? Of course. Does it happen often? Absolutely not. Love yourself enough to steer clear of any relationship where there's a triangle of players.
What you feel about YOURSELF attracts relationships that correspond to it... You
have the power to evoke from others the relationship that you seek. But you
cannot get to a new-and-improved situation by maintaining your emotional status quo.If you want something different you have to BE something different...... The Universe, and th people in your life, is responding to the Vibrations that you are offering; and there is no
distinction made between the Vibrations that you offer, and the
Vibrations that you're resonating with yourself. . . .
For those of you familiar with Abraham-Hicks, they offer this which supports that theory:
If you will simply imagine
your life as you want it to be, all cooperative components will be summoned. And
even more important, all components that are summoned will cooperate. It is Law.
The experience that you have with others is about what you evoke from them.
Hello Ladies,
Did you know that you actually CAN have what you want from a man? That you don't have to fear there's a shortage of good ones out there? That you are indeed lovable and worthy of being cherished?
I ask these things because what concerns me is the rampant, unquenchable anxiety that compels obsessive calling to psychics with the goal being reassurance that one is loved, that he'll leave his wife, that once he gets some money he'll be more attentive, that as soon as his kids grow up, he gets a job, a divorce, over his fears,etcetc you will get the relationship from him you want.
It just doesn't work that way.Even though a reader might say "this is your life partner," the truth is NO ONE knows that. What we get in life are lessons.One is that YOU are co-creating the relationship you have.So if he's distracted, avoiding, cooling off to you, don't kid yourself about it being an external cause. YOU are contributing. Because I get these calls continuously, the biggest problem I see is that of women kidding themselves. Instead of paying attention to their own feelings ...being so full of anxiety that they spend,spend,spend to hear some reassuring commentary from a reader, thus buying themselves some relief from their own pain, that they do not see that they have collaborated with the man in creating this dynamic in the first place.
Lucy(not her real name) calls psychic daily because Ed(not his real name) has told her he's too stressed out about getting some financial backing, that he can;t think of a relationship. Lucy buys this, and just waits for him to get what he needs so he can come back to the way things were at the beginning.Lucy can't bear the thought that his behavior is speaking volumes, and that his "issue" is truly a symptom of him just wanting distance.
The insecurity is within Lucy, and gets triggered by the man's distancing. Instead of working on herself, she just wants to know that he'll come around again...never realizing that she's communicating her insecurity to him, which is the exact reason he's cooling off.
Ladies, I AM ON YOUR SIDE...ALWAYS! I know for you that love is indeed possible for each and everyone of you. But it doesn't happen when you get so obsessed with a man that you forfeit your own needs, that you make excuses for his behavior, that you don't resolve the insecurities that trigger the anxiety that lurks withing YOU.
"Does he love me?" is a question I get asked all the time, quite frequently by a woman who hasn't seen or heard from the man , or had any quality relating in a very long time. I will say to that ...if he truly did, you'd feel it.Love is a behavior, not just a word. Men are action creatures. A man who loves a woman let's her know by his treatment of her what he's feeling. If you're not feeling loved, then you have the answer. This does NOT,NOT,NOT mean you arent lovable because you absolutely, definitely are.
When you can start loving and approving of
yourself, you will see that you will draw to you relationships that provide you with the sense of emotional security you are seeking, and most definitely deserve. You are magnificent.Pay attention to what's going on inside of you if you are compelled to call for countless readings. See that anxiety level for what it is and do something about it..from the INside.
You deserve contentment and the love of a good man. Dont ever sell yourself short.
I want the best for you!
Blessings, love and light
November
22
Letting Go of
Stuff
So often I have people call who are in a relationship that doesn't fulfill them. So they ask "am I going to meet anyone new?"...Or they ask that question after they've just broken up from someone and they're hurting..In cases like this, there's no room in consciousness for newness..The easiest way to bring in a new relationship is to have a clear space through which a new person can enter.
The
Universe cannot give you anything new if there is no room for it. If you want a new
relationship, you have to let go of people who mindlessly take up your time. If
you want to have new clothes, you have to let go of those that are too small,
too old, or no longer your style.
Hanging
on to stuff creates a closed system-nothing goes out, so nothing can come in.
Or, if it does come in, it has to be crammed, creating not abundance, but rather
the discomfort of clutter, crowding, and over-stuffing.
What
can you let go of in your life, home, your office, your closets or drawers? Keep
things with lasting value or meaning, but begin releasing the things you are
simply hoarding. As you release these things, practice also releasing old ideas,
hurts, resentments, and stories right along with them.
This opens the space for an abundance of newness.
I hear this complaint all the time. Women get very attached, to the point of obsession, to the man in their lives. If he's remote, sees her randomly, is not exclusive, attentive or interested in sharing her life, she often hangs on anyway....."He just needs time.." ..."I just have to convince him I'll always be there for him, no matter what"....."He's been hurt before"....."If I don;t have sex with him I'll lose him"...."I have to be patient with him because if I am he'll come around"...and most of the time nothing changes. You want HIM to change, but look how hard it is to change oneself!
The problem here is never about the man changing. It has it's root entirely in the woman's view of herself. We train people how to treat us. If a woman does not see herself as a prize, and gives the man more involvement than he's giving her, he typically does not find this enticing enough to fully invest himself. In fact, it has the opposite effect.
If, on the other hand, she has enough pride in herself to have expectations about the way she is to be treated, she will walk away if she's not getting what she wants, no matter how attached to the man she might be. This is a woman with strength and confidence, two qualities that draw men in like a moth to a flame. When a man is thinking of a "forever" partner, he's not prioritizing insecurity,clinginess, over-doing in the relationship. low self-esteem, or neediness in his list of criteria for his ideal woman.
ONE CAN NEVER HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH A MAN THAT IS BETTER THAN THE ONE WITH SELF......
EVER!..................So to think, "I can't be happy unless I have him," is a disservice.One has to be happy and whole BEFORE the man even enters the picture.otherwise, it's a case study of heartbreak..So know your worth ladies, and don;t compromise it.
Lucinda (not her real name) called me about a man who rarely calls, only sees her last minute, and mostly for sex. She commented, "I say to myself 'at least I get this little bit of him, but it feels worse the next day because I don't know when I'll see him again'....... I keep thinking if I keep him sexually satisfied, at least he won;t go get it from another woman. How do I stand my ground and not loose him? We have so
much love between us but I want more and he won't give it".................................This is not love.Why? Because love doesn't hurt. What she has is obsession. What he has is charm enough to convince her that he cares more than he truly does. When a man truly cares about a woman she KNOWS it. Why? Because he shows her in a million ways with his behavior. He would never intentionally do anything to hurt her. He would WANT to call her regularly, He would WANT to share her life. So when Lucinda says she is willing to accept crumbs so she won't lose him, she will continue to get crumbs, not recognizing she doesn't have him anyway.
It's all about having boundaries. This enhances one's self esteem, confidence and peace of mind, all of which are out-pictured in the energy we radiate. It says to the man, "I am special, a woman of value." Easy sex just says "I'm needy and feel desperate to get you."
So to sum up, if you're not getting treated the way you want to, have the strength to remove yourself. NO MAN IS WORTH THE COST OF YOUR DIGNITY AND SELF ESTEEM. Your situation with him will not get better when you are scrambling for his crumbs, grateful to get them. All you will get is more of the same, while fantasizing that suddenly he will morph into someone else. There is no reward for your long suffering "patience." Men shape up when they love the woman they're with, but they cannot love her if she doesn't love herself.
So have some standards ladies, and that includes boundaries of self-honor.
You are in charge of your life, whether you like it or not.
Even when you don't feel like you're in charge, you are. Often, we don't feel
like we're in charge of our lives because someone or something is behaving in a
way that we don't like. We want them to stop or change. What we try to do, then,
is control the situation or the person. And, of course, this is not something we
have control over, so we end up feeling like we're not in charge of our own
lives at all.
While you don't have control over anything outside of yourself,
you do have control over the one thing that will absolutely cause you to be in
charge of your life-your mind. You are in control of the thoughts you think, the
attitudes you assume, and your perspective on things.
Where in your life do
you need to let go of control? Where in your mind do you need to start being in
charge?
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A day hardly goes by in which I
don't have a client call me miserable over the inability to bring in a loving, devoted mate. "I'm visualizing. I'm letting go of the past. I'm
making right choices. I'm trying so hard! What is wrong? What is
keeping me from my dream?" they cry. Usually when I hear such despairing
words, my suspicions go directly to their application of Principle #1 : Believe in Your Dream.
You
see, most people have no difficult envisioning their dreams, and will do
anything to achieve them. But Principle #1 is not about doing. It's about believing. It is
about accepting what the Universe will do for you. It is about having
enough self-love to believe that what you dream of, dreams of you as
well, and that the universe wants you to have such experiences.
If you
are stuck in creating your heart's desire in spite of your efforts,
then focus your attention on Principle #1, and ask yourself if you
honestly believe in your dream. Can your heart open enough to allow the
Universe to bring you your desires? Can you believe that what you want
is not only possible but it is your spiritual birthright - whether is
love, work, health, or friendship?
Sadly
enough, many people do not believe this. Instead, through childhood
upsets and early life training, they believe they don't deserve anything
at all. It is what they've been told. It is what they've learned. And
it is what holds them back. One may not be conscious of these sabotaging
feelings. These beliefs may be so loathsome and painful that they are
carefully hidden behind all that "doing" and go unrecognized.
I
usually spot these beliefs by how hard one tries; as if only by some
superhuman effort can one deserve any happiness at all. If you are
harboring such destructive beliefs, you will remain separate from your
heart. Recognize these beliefs for what they are: absolute, complete and
life-destroying lies. They are not the truth of you.
The
truth is you are spiritual light being, a child of God, sweet and
lovable, pure and magnificent. Embrace it. Inhale it. Remember it. Believe
it! And stop trying. You are loved and lovable. You don't have to work
for it. It is there for you because of who you are.
If you
have lost touch with this truth, take in a slow breath. Do you question
your right to air? Of course not. You take in air without effort by
virtue of being human. In the same way, receive from the Universe what
lies in your heart, by virtue of being divine. So be it! Happy creating!
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You are the very presence of Spirit, Life Itself, as you. Whatever you may be
facing in your life, you have all the strength and courage to deal with it,
because you have the entire strength of the Universe at your back.
Think
about the power and strength that it takes to create a universe, to keep all the
planets spinning in their orbits, to keep evolution unfolding and life moving
forward. That is the strength you can rely on. Surely it's big enough and strong
enough for what you are facing.
Inner strength comes from the realization
that you are not alone- that you are not the source of your life, and that you
don't have to be. Inner strength is the realization that all the strength you
will ever need is right where you are.
I frequently get asked if things are "supposed to be," why is there free will (always in relation to a man who has chosen to be less involved than the caller would want) ? I am also asked if So-and-So is my "soulmate"?, the translation being,"That's why I have to put up with poor treatment..."
Here's the answer to each question. Life here on earth is a school of sorts. It's like one big classroom, so we'll have 1st graders who kick sand and graduate students learning the classics. Often this results in chaos.We are here to learn lessons, to evolve in our capacity to stretch beyond our ego constraints and insecurities, to learn to love without condition. This includes self-love because without it, we cannot possibly love another.We can become obsessed and excessively attached, but this is not love. This is an addictive connection.....When we truly , deeply and profoundly love and approve of ourselves, this love overflows and radiates, beaming outward toward others.But it always starts with us first...... So toward that end the Universe sends experiences to show us what issues within us need to be healed so that we may get to profound self-love. These lessons come in the form of interactions with other people.They trigger things.They mirror back things.They demonstrate things, all of which are designed to show us aspects of ourselves that need attention.
Where our free will comes in is in the area of choice to the degree to which we are going to interact. It is destiny to meet someone with whom there is a strong connection. It is a matter of choice how involved we choose to get. So when a woman calls, miserable over a situation with a man, asking "Why did God send me this relationship if it wasn't going to work out?", the answer is the relationship has always been a matter of choice. Destiny was the reason for meeting.
Many people describe the individuals they are involved with as "soulmates." Ladies, this is a term employed by women, spawned by romantic fantacies. Men don't speak in these terms. it's' very self-limiting to think there can be only one option for us in terms of partnering.How many people have been widowed from happy marriages, only to find themselves remarrying happily later?..........Which spouse was the soulmate? Rather than get stuck here on a nebulous concept, it's far more empowering to focus instead upon growing, self-honoring, speaking your truth without judging another, healing your own ego wounds, seeing the best in our parnter etc.....Soulmate implies there is only one person suitable for an intensely connected relationship. Not true. This is a huge, huge planet. There are many people with whom one can be compatible.
So when you are inclined to think,"God sent him to me.So even though he's neglectful, insulting and/or not devoted to me, I just know there has to be a reason, so I'll be patient" (I hear this a lot). The reason may actually be that you are to learn to have boundaries, and because of that you have been sent someone to test them.It does not mean you are to accept anything that doesnt make you feel secure, loved, respected and prioritized.
I hope this answers some questions for you
Blessings, love and light...........
Desiree