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Why forgiveness is important

"Forgiveness has nothing whatsoever to do with how wrong someone else was; no matter how evil, cruel, narcissistic or unrepentant they are, when you forgive a person, you break the unhealthy bonds between you and your abuser-victim relationship, and you redefine yourself as an independent victor in your own life."
Bryant McGill


Forgiving another may be the ultimate act of self-love by Bryant McGill

They caused the first wound, but you are causing the rest; this is what not forgiving does. They got it started but you keep it going. Forgive and let it go, or it will eat you alive. You think they made you feel this way, but when you won't forgive, you are the one inflicting the pain on yourself.

Whatever you do — don't wait to forgive someone until they apologize, ask for your forgiveness or even acknowledge they have harmed you. If you are waiting for someone to acknowledge they hurt you, you could be waiting forever and it puts them in the power position, where you need something from them to move forward in your own life. Closure is an act of sanity you bring to the table of your own healing, it is not a handout your abuser holds over you that you need. You have the power within yourself to find closure and healing, but not through bitterness, wrath and smoldering resentment. Forgiveness originates with self-love. Forgiveness is always and absolutely for you. Forgiveness has nothing whatsoever to do with how wrong someone else was; no matter how evil, cruel, narcissistic or unrepentant they are, when you forgive a person, you break the ties with their ill deeds that keep you in anguish. Forgiving breaks the unhealthy bonds between you and your abuser-victim relationship, and redefines you as an independent victor in your own life. Forgiving cuts the cord — freeing you — and leaves the abuser with the full weight of their deeds and fate, and whether they accept their responsibility or not, you are no longer dependent on their participation for your healing.

It is easy to hold a grudge. It is easy to blame. But these narratives are a perpetuation of the role of a powerless victim. When you hold grudges the victimization continues. It takes emotional bravery to forgive. It takes a huge determination toward self-care to let go of painful past events and not let them define your future. There is no self-love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without self-love. Forgiving another may be the ultimate act of self-love. Through forgiveness you can quit suffering from the sins committed against you. By holding-on to resentment you allow them to continue having power over you. Forgiving takes your power back. - Bryant Mc Gill


A note about self love

"We only hurt others because we don't love ourselves. Learning to truly love yourself changes your relationship with everyone."
— Bryant McGill

A reminder about sadness, suffering and pain

"Quit assuming others have it better, or you have it worse. Everyone suffers tremendously in life. It's rude to belittle someone's suffering, thinking yours is greater. Don't judge someone's suffering as better or worse. A dark life can be lived brightly, because pain gave great perspective and wisdom. An average and easy life can be its own kind of tragedy; suffering a mundane deadness. A great life can spoil under great fortune. It's hard having nothing. It's hard having everything. It's hard. Suffering is very personal and cannot be measured by someone from the outside. Everyone suffers in different ways. Life is not a suffering contest; the contest is for compassion."
Bryant McGill

Feedback sytem and integrity

I just started back taking on all callers. It was a big deal for me because I really wanted to serve and help many. I understand that some I cant help. it is one thing to receive bad feedback when a prediction is missed. I expect it. No psychic is 100%. Receiving dishonest feedback is not healthy karma. I do not know why people do it other than hurt people hurt other people. Healing is the key. Advisors are messengers only. we do not control actions of others.  If this continues to be a problem, I just wont take on new clients. I am here as a professional and with integrity. I want to help people with the same intent. Also ,calling an advisor under different names after being blocked is considered harassment. All suspicious feedback will be reported to keen. Please honor the advisors choice to block.
http://www.keen.com/documents/help/feedbackremoval.asp
Read Keens policy on feedback.

Are you waiting on someone to come around to be with you?

Don't wait. Live. If a person waits on someone they are causing their own sadness. Live life and see what doors will open. There might even be a healthier relationship trying to come to you. do not get fixated on one person. If they are keeping you waiting, they are not fixated on you. So do not give your power away. People have the right to leave and not communicate. Even if the person is coming back, don't waste your life waiting. Tomorrow is not promised to no one.

The reason why I rarely take new callers

I will never say anything unless I truly believe in my readings. At times I have admitted to now having an answer. If I do not have an answer for a question, I will tell you. Unfortunately, some get so many readings and can't remember who said what to them. Often I tell callers that predictions don't just happen. A caller must participate in their life without fear and games. Many people want a relationship but they are not in a good place and are not ready to have one so they keep making mistakes and never succeed at having a relationship. You can't be self destructive and expect good results.
Stop looking at good feedback and look at what is said in the feedback. If I read for you, you must be willing to change, let go of fear and work on your self. I am not a fortune teller. If you are going to call every reader hoping that we all say the same thing so that you can feel safe, you will be disappointed.
If you call for a short reading, don't be shocked if you do not get clear information. Takes notes and remember who said what to you.
Stop looking for a fantasy that everything will work out without you doing your work.
The lessons repeat until we get it.

No I don't do readings while sleepy but I do have allergies

I got a feedback that was nice but stated it seem like I was falling asleep. All of my regulars know that I do not do readings when I am tired. It is allergy season and it is bad. Very bad. I take only natural supplements and I have to hold back sneezing so much. Please dont assume anything. Just ask. I will be honest. Feedback is important and appreciated. I still appreciate this feedback because of the nice things said but no I do not read sleepy.

From Michael Baisden

I love this man. He is direct and brutally honest. Once I learned this years ago, life got easier. We are approaching a new year. Hopefully his message will be a wake up call for someone out there. Heal, forgive and work on yourself then seek love. It may be a little painful but only good things can come out of doing self work. HAPPY THANKSGIVING. Everyday we wake up is a blessing to work on ourselves and get it right.

Michael Baisden Commentary: Stop Blaming The Opposite Sex: Maybe the problem is YOU!

Like many of you I have good reason to be disappointed with the opposite sex. I’ve dealt with liars, deceivers, and materialist. And even when you’re upfront about what you want, we all know people will lie to themselves in order to be with you.

Then there are the people I refer to as “The Irresponsibles.” They mess up time and time again and refuse to adapt, grow up, or take responsibility for their actions. It’s always someone else’s fault…not theirs.

And then you have The Fix a Dude, Or Fix a Chic! They have a ton of potential but lack the discipline, work ethic, or courage to get to the next level. We’ve all played the role of Mother Teresa trying to clean someone up, invest money, and in some cases moved them into our homes thinking that our overwhelming love will magically transform them into the perfect half of a “Super Couple!” And as we all know, that doesn’t work…right?

As you mature you realize that what you’ve been attracting into your life all these years was…you. The irresponsible people you date represent that part of you that doesn’t want to take responsibility for making better choices. Think about it, why would a responsible person chose a person who is irresponsible unless they were subconsciously trying to avoid setting standards and standing by them. By definition a responsible person would never choose an irresponsible one. It’s like oil and water.

Likewise when you date the Fix a Dude or Fix a Chic, it’s really you who is broken… and it’s you who needs to stop trippin’ on this ridiculous notion that dealing with broken people is a sign of good character…well, it isn’t. More than likely it’s a sign of insecurity.

People who have low self-esteem always surround themselves with people who will be overly impressed with them to cover up some their own inadequacies. Or let’s go even deeper; maybe you feel that by fixing them they will feel obligated to stay. But the reality is that 9 times out of 10 once the “Fix a Dude” or “Fix a Chic” are back on their feet they’ll be gone faster than the last cold beer at a July Barbecue!

Make 2014 the year of growth and maturity, and that starts by not blaming others for your situation. No matter how much you complain about being lied to, cheated on, or abused, there’s one common denominator… it always happens to YOU! So YOU are both the problem and the solution. Start focusing on the man in the mirror because what you see is a reflection of how much…or little work you put into yourself!

~ Michael Baisden

Inspired by my new book, Raise Your Hand If You Have Issues!

Words of wisdom from Jada Pinkett Smith

Letter to a friend:

You are divorced. Your ex-husband is not being kind or considerate, but you can't harp on it because it steals the energy that should be given to your potential and power. At the end of the day, your survival is at risk, and you complaining about what he is not doing and what he should be doing does not change your circumstances. We have to use these circumstances to analyze what we need to do different, how do we need to strengthen, and how we need to be more. You are strong and capable, and now you have been put in a position where you must use your capabilities to change your circumstances without your ex's help or kindness.

In the ideal world, the circumstances in which you and your children are facing are unacceptable, but the most painful realization I have had about this life is that we are not entitled to anyone's kindness or consideration. THAT, is a painful truth.

Stay focused and keep it moving.

J
I've discovered that patience is not only a virtue but a very attractive, intriguing quality. Those that display eagerness, impatience or control tend to come off as incapable and insecure. These qualities have a tendency to turn people off. But...to be patient, one must be secure, trusting and extremely flexible. In my opinion...those qualities are just down right sexy.

Get sexy today through your patience.

Happy Sunday

J

Sex, Dating and Relationhips

I am not conservative or uncomfortable with sex, but I have learned so much about sex through doing this work. Sex needs to be treated with respect and timing. I have seen my share of female callers who have sex right away often on the first night looking for love. There is many psychological reasons for that. Often a woman will mistaken lust for love or think that if she is sexually connecting to the guy that it will lead to a relationship. 99% of the time there will not be a relationship.
I am sorry but I must be honest most men do not take a woman as being serious and they won't respect her if she sleeps with him the right away. I have not seen one woman land a long term relationship from a one night stand. Men often think that if she will sleep with me this easily than she is easy.
I would recommend to not have sex right away if you are seeking a long term relationship. It can make you look desperate. Looking for love takes time and lots of patience. Make good choices and do not try to rush love. Heal the issues behind wanting love first and then seek a relationship. sex can blur getting to know each other. Often people use sex as a form of communication but it is not effective communication and can block a true connection.
Women must be less needy, more patient and trust the process.

Please do not ask me to lie to you

I know. Many callers are psychic surfing for a psychic with great feedback due to the false belief that it means that they will get good news. I have callers who ask me if I am just being nice and I say no. Then sometimes I just have to give bad news and there is no way around it or no nice way to put it.
What I noticed is that some callers know that they are going to get bad news because they know that they are in a bad situation or letting someone walk all over them. I cant and wont lie to make things sound sweeter that what it is.
Sometimes people are in repeat negative patterns and are shocked that doing the same thing is not yielding a different result.
Please do not call me if you cant handle the truth or you refuse to make better choices. I cant and wont fix your life. I do not have a magic wand. You have to want better in order to get better.
No one is stupid. But people are emotional. Take the emotions out of your situation and start seeing reality. Change comes from within always and not from someone else. Love makes no promises. There is no fairy tale.

Are you really ready for love?

When we try to be safe, we live our lives being very, very careful; and we wind up having no lives.

People who are ready for love know it is all risk and yes you must risk being hurt. No security.

From Inspirational Speaker Les Brown

What he says is so right. I have only positive and successful people in my life who do not whine and will not blame.


Don't waste your time on foolishness or foolish people. Time is the stuff of what life is made of, and your life is extremely valuable to you...to your family...and to the world. Guard it at all costs. Life is full of attractive distracting foolishness which will waste your time, and deplete your much-needed energy.

Foolish people do not like to own responsibility for their decisions, and never see the impact of their actions and choices on their lives. They will try to recruit you into their madness, and will attempt to convince you to pay their bills, pay their way, and solve their problems. They don't listen to anyone, and are always right ~ even thought their life is in shambles.

Let others be satisfied with being spectators, complainers, and victims. You are a player on the field of life. You have dreams and goals that you are determined to achieve. You have drive and a desire to make your life matter. There are things that others find very enjoyable which just don't fit who you are. Be focused, relentless, and HUNGRY to make your life count. You have GREATNESS within you! Les Brown

Wisdom from Joel Osteen

Don’t expect people to be perfect. It’s not fair to them, and it will be a source of frustration for you.

If a person is hurt, they are choosing to be hurt because they have too many unrealistic expectations that is not fair. Be realistic and you will hurt less.

For all who would like the problem to just go away or

for the other woman to just go away.
The truth is that
" Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know " Pema Chodron

This may be unpleasant to hear but the situation is a teacher and the other woman is a teacher. Sometimes things have to get so big and so out of control in order to get a person's attention. The sooner the person learns, the quicker the problem ends. Fighting it prolongs it.

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