Nancy was my best friend. She was blonde, big busted, lean, and resembled a young, very pretty version of Barbara Streisand. She was of course very popular. She had three children under the age of five and she was not a disciplinarian. So her kids were more than a handful. I was reading her cards and saw that she was going to get pregnant in three months.
"NOOooooo!!! I can't be! I mustn't! Lollie, another one? Are you sure??"
"Pretty sure. The symbols are unhealthy, sex, happy.... that's pregnant. But remember, the future isn't set in stone. Take precautions. Don't put out. If you do put out, use protection."
"Oh God. Lollie you know me. I go out with good intentions, have a few drinks and wake up with another really cute bum. I can't take the pill. All I can do is 'try' to be careful."
This was back in the seventies. No one had heard of HIV or AIDS. It was one really long summer of free love. And this was also before I had learned what a weakening word "try" is. Try means as long as you exert effort, it's okay if you fail. Cause hey, you 'tried."
She takes off to visit friends in another city for a few months... I forget all about the reading.... Then late one night, around two a.m., there was Nancy banging on my door, singing, laughing, hollering for me to get up and let her in. I stumble to the door, open it and Nancy bounces in. As I wiped the sleep out of my eyes she continued to hop around me, clapping her hands, grinning from ear to ear. I said "Nancy, what is going on? What are you so happy about?"
She slows her bouncing and beams at me, "I've got the CLAP!!"
I knew I must have heard her wrong. "What?"
She grabbed my arms and looked me in the eyes and said "Lollie, I've got the CLAP!!
"Oooohkay.... not exactly something I'd expect you to be thrilled about..."
"You don't remember? You told me in three months, unhealthy, sex, happy. I've been scared to death I was going to get knocked up. I thought I might be. I went to the health department and your cards were right, unhealthy, sex, happy, and you were wrong I'm not pregnant. All I've got is the clap. I can get rid of this with two shots and no recriminations. It is unhealthy sex and I am THRILLED!"
And that's how I made a girl happy she had the clap. True story. May God take my two dogs, Mr. Minnihan and Mr. Black, if I'm lying.
As far as I can tell, my cards don't make mistakes. But every once in a while I'll see something as obvious as unhealthy, sex and happy... and misinterpret them. Take notes. Every time you get a reading, take notes.
Wondering about your own love life?