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Stuck Between Worlds - Part 3

posted Tuesday, October 13, 2009 7:16 PM by MysticWonder01
Career Related Transitions:

Remember how you felt when you thought you began the job of your dreams?  Those feelings of excitement, hope and accomplishment made it possible for you to see your future in a much brighter light.  I know I felt those things when I took that flying leap from the corporate world to being self-employed almost 10 years ago…and I’m STILL feeling it.  That’s right folks, 10 years! 

Before I finally stopped pretending I was okay with my oh-so-safe job, I was struggling to find balance between that and my true career path; being a psychic-medium and spiritual counselor.  I would work my day job from 8am to 5pm and then I’d log on from 8pm to 1 or 2am, 7 days a week.  Sometimes I’d have in-person appointments to juggle as well.  Rush hour traffic didn’t get me home until 6pm so I only had a couple of hours to eat, meditate, re-ground and get back to work. 

It was AWFUL.  I was miserable.  After about a year of that back and forth rubbish, I threw my hands in the air and said to myself, “This is insane Cristin!  Get over your issues and just take a chance.  Do what you really love and you’ll be okay.”  I did just that and I am better than okay.  That decision to throw caution to the wind didn’t come easy though.  I struggled for many months, going crazy until I was so stressed out, all I could do was give up.  I started to sabotage my day job by showing up a little late here and there and honestly, I just didn’t give a damn anymore.  No passion.  No excitement.  No feeling of belonging to something great.  There wasn’t any room for me to grow in that field and I didn’t want to.  I was DONE.

Time For Transition…

I realize that nowadays fear has become most prominent in people’s lives due to our “flailing economy”, corporate selfishness (yeah, I said it) and the unemployed to job availability ratio.  Being thrust into the unknown is bound to create fear based words, thoughts and actions.  Unfortunately this can and probably will prohibit one from achieving their goals.  It can also manifest that fear in real time. 

Examples:

“I’m too old.  Who would ever hire a (insert # yr-old) man/woman?
“There’s nothing out there.  Even people with degrees can’t land a job”
“I’ll never earn the same amount of money I’m used to making.”

I highlighted the negative words in those statements.  Yes, there’s fear and opportunities appear to be less than abundant at the moment.  I get it.  Here’s the deal though, you are what you say and believe.  If you think you’re “too old“, you will be.  If you believe there’s “nothing out there“, there won’t be.  If you believe, “I can’t” and “I’ll never”, you won’t and never will…plain and simple. 

Ask yourself a few questions.  How do you feel inside when you’re believing those thoughts?  Do you feel GOOD or BAD about yourself?  Where is the confidence in your abilities?  Nobody wants to be around a self-loathing person, especially potential employers.  If you’re negative, you increase your chances of NOT getting that job.  So let’s turn this around, shall we?

AFFIRM the following:

*  I AM (who you should be, instead of “Negative Nelly“)
*  I HAVE (the goal)
*  I BELIEVE (in myself/the opportunity is present)

It may take some time to change your internal programming, but it’s definitely worth a try.  If what you’re thinking, believing and doing isn’t working, try something else.  Any change is better than what you’ve got going on, right?

Getting Through The “Down Time”

Experiencing down time or as I normally call it, a transitional phase, can be rather rough on the nerves and Ego.  When we want something really bad, be it a romantic relationship, job or something else, we have a tendency to get impatient.  Especially if we feel that our life depends on this “one thing”.  Here are a few ways to look at your situation and keep your negative emotions in check:

*  There may be a reason you don’t have that perfect job RIGHT NOW.  It may not be available at this time, but could be later on.  Give time a chance.

*  Don’t give in to the scare-tactics.  Nothing good will come of only believing the negative “facts” being presented through the media.  Change occurs when we trust in ourselves and start creating a DIFFERENT reality.

*   Stay calm and hopeful.  Find ways to flush out your angst so you can be grounded while going through this process.  Reacting to every “possible thing that could go wrong”  will only jeopardize your well-being and ability to create.

*  Be open to all the possibilities this “down time” has to offer.  If you are unemployed or are getting ready to look for a new job, take the time to hone your skills in the field of your choice.  Better yet, find a balance between honing the skills and doing something good for yourself personally.  Try not to think about this transition too much.

*  Work on your self-confidence.  Stay focused on all your positive attributes.  It can be related to just about anything, even if your highest priority is the job.  Really, your highest priority needs to be yourself, in general.


Ways To Increase Your Chances of Landing That Dream Job
 
*  Don’t limit your methods for attracting the job you really want.  There are many resources at your disposal such as the internet, newspaper, headhunters and more.  Try not to just stick with one.

*  Don’t settle for just “any” job, look for your PASSION.  Let your soul lead you in the direction that feels right.  If you don’t love what you do, you won’t be doing it for very long and you’ll be right back where you started.  Believe me when I say that employers know when someone is “just not that into” them and/or their company.

*  Have FAITH and keep that “Negative Nelly“ in check!  Landing your dream job (or one really close to it) is a process.  Believe it’s out there and the Universe will deliver it to you at the right time.

*  Have a fairly short, simple and well-organized résumé .  Make sure it reflects the job description of the position you‘re applying for.

*  Do your research.  Know as much as you can about the company you’re applying to.

*  Don’t sell yourself short or over-project your skills during interviews.  Letting people know that you’re willing to learn new things and are capable of doing so is excellent.

*  Don’t have anything on the internet that could distract employers from hiring you.  Keep your social networking profiles PRIVATE (ex: Facebook, Myspace, Match.com, etc…)  LinkedIn, however, is professionally oriented so try and build a profile there with references.

*   Let your personality shine on your résumé  and during interviews!  Don’t give in to the nerves…it’s just a job, not “Judgment Day” with God.

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Stuck Between Worlds- Part II

posted Wednesday, July 22, 2009 8:42 PM by MysticWonder01
Emotional & Romantic Purgatory

In order to progress from one point to the next in life, whether it‘s emotionally infused or dealing with the physical aspects, we need to go through a transitional phase.  Some may call this down time “purgatory”, the “in between” and the “meantime”.  I use the word transition because its definition best describes the motion we all experience in this phase and denotes more of a positive vibe.  We may think our lives are at a stand still, but there’s always something happening behind Spirit’s black curtain.  You won’t be able to see it while climbing the steps to the next level, but everything will be revealed in time.


Being alone is the best medicine for healing and achieving true balance…

It doesn’t matter whether you’re single or not, we all have one thing in common.  Our spirits have to evolve and to get there, we have to learn and grow from our experiences.  You don’t have to be single to feel as though you’re alone in this world, but if you are trying to meet a special someone, realizing your “true love” has moved on or are waiting for a reconciliation, the transition from point A to B can feel excruciating.  On that note, keeping your emotions in check and finding a way to jump-start your social/romantic life can be a struggle. 

Unfortunately a band-aid isn’t going to heal the wounds that require stitches, which is what we’re usually left with after a major emotional disaster.  Being alone is the best medicine for healing and achieving true balance while going through this journey.  You will accomplish more when you’re left to your own devices than if you jumped into a new relationship prematurely.  By doing this you are setting yourself up for another failure and you may also inflict pain on an innocent person. 

If you haven’t completed the cycle of healing before entering a new partnership, you could be doing one (or more) of the following:

*  Making someone believe you’re emotionally available when you’re not.

*  Trying to turn the new situation/person into the one you’re mourning instead of falling in love the healthy way.

*  Sabotaging the new relationship due to the issues that haven’t been cleared out of your psyche.

*   Making choices with your new partner based upon your needs that weren’t fulfilled in the previous situation, which do NOT reflect the current reality. (example:  making a commitment just because your lost love did)

Hey, I’m all about getting back up on the social horse while trying to heal, but please be careful of who you pick to join you on the ride.  That person may be ready for a long-term commitment and if you haven’t let go of the past, you’re not doing right by anyone in the situation, least of all YOU.  The new partner cannot be somebody else, no matter how much you want them to be.  Also, there are emotional predators floating all over the place.  The more vulnerable you are, the easier it is to get sucked into a potentially dangerous, life-altering relationship you may regret later on.


Denial Isn’t The Easy Way Out

Having to face a reality that doesn’t jive with one’s emotions during a transitional phase can be so scary, the person doesn’t want to take it on.  At this time one can fall deeply into denial, whether they choose to be with someone new or not.  Either way, denial can keep someone in such a place that nothing healthy can come in and stay.  If you fall into this trap, the healing process will take much longer vs. dealing with your issues head-on.  Denying your feelings isn’t the easy way out of the darkness.  It’s the super glue that keeps you stuck between the worlds of sorrow and joy.

Simple ways to survive an emotional transition and stay out of denial:

*  Get your feelings out of your system by talking about them with someone you trust, journaling or utilizing other healthy methods if release. 

*  Put some distance between yourself and the person/situation you believe has caused you so much pain.  Do not try to get “closure“ until you are fully healed.  You know you’ve reached that point when you could care less whether or not that situation has a presence in your life.

*  Embrace being alone.  Take this opportunity to tap into your higher self, spirituality (if you have any), forgotten dreams and/or career aspirations.     

*  Being alone doesn’t mean being a hermit.  Spending quality time with your real friends and family will serve as a reminder of who you truly are.

*  Try not to jump into a new relationship right away.  Give yourself as much time as you need to heal so you don’t set yourself up for another disaster or hurt another person.

*  When you’re ready, create a list of things you’d like to accomplish in the NEAR future and pursue them!  This can include a new relationship, but try not to attach timing to it.  It’s best to focus on things that will make you happy when you’re on your own.

*  Make yourself available…to YOURSELF.  Having a nice balance of social networking and alone time is healthy.  If your entire life revolves around something/somebody else then there won’t be room for greatness.

*  Be POSITIVE.  Look forward.  Think of this “purgatory” as a gift from the Universe.  Now you have the time to create a life that works for you.    

For more on this topic, please read my blog, “The Waiting Game”.  
    

The Couples’ Transition

As I said earlier, in order for our souls to evolve we must learn and grow.  Folks in a relationship are no exception.  Learning/discovery is point A, transitioning is B and the final level is growth.  We go through this many times as individuals, but more so when we’ve made a commitment to someone for the long-term.  Why?  It’s because we actually learn MORE about ourselves while riding the roller coaster with another’s baggage.  I’m not saying the baggage is necessarily negative, but when we merge our lives with someone else, we take on everything attached to them.  If you’re married, you didn’t just make a commitment to your partner, you committed to their family as well.  That’s just an example.

There are many types of transitions one will go through while being a member of a couple.  Sometimes one can feel like the relationship has become stagnant or monotonous.  This happens more often with people who have children since they take up so many hours of the day.  That’s not always a bad thing though.  The couples who don’t have kids seem to be able to do a lot more and find creative ways of connecting with their partner.

It doesn’t really matter what factor is contributing to the down time, just that it’s there and needs to be acknowledged.  Transitional phases are known to make people overreact in relationships.  The reason for this is because we often feel lost and overwhelmed while going through it.  Unfortunately, these emotions tend to dictate the behavior of one or both partners.  If internalized in an unhealthy manner, the transition will be stalled and the relationship will be as well.

The best ways to make it through your relationship’s transition…

*  Communicate your needs with your partner in a non-accusatory manner.

*  LISTEN to what your mate says to you and try not to take things personally, especially if the emotions have nothing to do with YOU. (ex:  your husband had a stressful work day and he’s pissed off)

*  Try to work with the other person instead of blaming them for what seems to be a disconnect (remember, it‘s a transition we‘re talking about here).

*  Make plans for the near and long-term future.  Create a list of things you and your partner want to do TOGETHER, with and without children. 

*  It’s important that you both have equal ALONE time each week, even if it’s just one day.  Allowing time for a natural “pull back” is healthy during a transition.

*  Please be PATIENT with one another.  You’re going to transition, he/she will transition and then the relationship will prosper.

Please refer to my De-Funkify Me, Baby blog to find out if you are in fact entering a transitional phase. 

Remember, a transitional phase often feels as if NOTHING is happening when it really IS.  It also serves as a smoke screen to protect us from making decisions before it‘s time.  In a sense, it’s a way to keep things on track without messing up the outcome or staying stuck in between worlds. 

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Stuck Between Worlds- Part I

posted Tuesday, July 21, 2009 2:53 PM by MysticWonder01
Speak Your Truth!

I know what it’s like to be stuck, not knowing if things will ever change.  There were plenty of times in my life when I‘ve yearned to fill a void, but I didn‘t know where to begin.  Those thoughts and feelings still hit me at times, but I’ve learned how to adjust my perception and find a way out of that dingy hole when it occurs.  Are you in a place where nothing is happening even though you’ve tried everything you can think of to get your life moving in the right direction?  Do you seem to have it all, but you’re actually unhappy?  If you fall under either category, this trilogy is for you!

Since we are beings with egos, we will never be happy when our daily routine is monotonous, even if it seems just fine.  Just fine is never enough, is it?    Whenever I’ve asked someone, “How are you?” and I received a “just fine” response I want to say to them, “So tell me how you really feel!”  Fine, great, alright and okay are simple and seemingly positive thoughts, but to me they reek of underlying notions of boredom, feeling uninterested, detached and lethargic.  It’s as though that person is trying to prevent me from seeing what’s truly inside their heart.  I care, therefore I’m asking.  There’s nothing wrong with telling the truth. 

It’ll Set You Free
Telling someone the truth about what’s really going on is the first step in the right direction.  I know it sounds contradictory to what some believe the Law of Attraction is, but acknowledging your current state and being honest about it is the only way you will know what needs to change in your life.  Applying the Law of Attraction is actually the final phase on the freedom front.  Freedom from being stuck, that is.  Once you say what's on your mind, you'll probably feel liberated.

Here are the things we need to do in order to figure out our next step:

* Be honest with yourself about how you’re feeling about life.

* Tap into those feelings and make a list of things that could turn your thoughts into positive ones and/or change your life for the better.

Sometimes we’re just in a temporary funk or transitional phase.  Check out my blog, De-Funkify Me, Baby! to read more about this.

Okay.  So now you’ve made your list and you’ve figured out what’s missing and/or wrong with your life.  What now?

*  Apply the Law of Attraction to your daily routine and believe it’ll work for you.

Once you’ve made your list it’s time to put your manifesting skills to the test.   Speak each item on your list (into being) as though you already have it in your possession.  When things start happening, you will then be able to see what works and what doesn’t.  For example, if you manifest something you wanted, but it didn’t turn out as hoped, you can cross that thing off your list and start the creation process over again.  Do it until you finally attract something that makes you happy. 

Keep in mind that sometimes we think we want something, but it’s not what we NEED.  If it’s not what our spirits truly NEED, then it won’t work out and/or make us happy.  Generally, this happens when it's something derived from the mind and not already experienced at the time. 

I know what some of you are thinking, “I’ve done all of this and it doesn’t work!  Now what?”  If you really tried applying the Law of Attraction consistently, believed in it, actually gave it a chance and it didn’t work, then perhaps it’s not supposed to.  Though I and many others believe it works, it may not be the right way for you. 

From my experience, people who are attracted to the “instant gratification” way of life do not benefit from manifesting since it can take a long time for things to happen.  The best piece of advice I can give is to make your list and find tangible ways to achieve your goals, one step at a time.  If you can’t have faith in the Universe, then at least have faith in yourself.  I honestly believe the Law of Attraction requires faith in the Universe, faith in yourself and the ability to accept the opportunities as they arise.     

Read more on the Law of Attraction by going to my blogs Manifesting 101 parts 1 &2.

Today, please take the time to listen to yourself when you’re in your head or talking to someone else.  Are you speaking your truth with conviction or are you saying words that only keep you in a monotonous existence? 

The more you say something, the more you’ll believe it and that will become your reality.

Part II is coming soon!
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The Game of Life

posted Saturday, July 18, 2009 10:52 AM by MysticWonder01
Over the years I’ve covered many topics.  Everything from sorrow to self-help.  I opened the door to my private life and shared my personal experiences through blogging, which not only served as a therapeutic punching bag, but allowed others to connect with me on a personal level.  I didn’t realize that the things I’ve published has had meaning for so many people.  That was until they emailed me their thoughts.  I’ve been so blessed, especially lately, to have received a lot of thankful comments for bluntly putting myself out there, flaws and all.  So I decided to go back in time and read everything I’ve ever written.

What’s hitting me hard is seeing how much I’ve grown emotionally and spiritually from the time I was a teenager until now.  There were moments I would cringe as I re-lived some of my experiences.  I thought to myself, “I can’t believe I was that way.  What the hell was I thinking back then?”   There are certain things, like my spiritual belief system for example, that hasn’t changed.  What I want out of life personally and professionally has though and believe me, it was definitely for the better. 

I think the worst thing I’ve ever done is self-sabotage.  In hindsight, I believe I did it with everything.  Though I’ve documented my great leaps of faith and journeys to the unknown, I still found a way to keep myself from achieving greatness.  How sad.  Now I can honestly say that’s my only regret and it’s something I will never do again. 

I noticed a pattern lying dormant within my writing.  It seems that I’ve always had to fight immense negative forces to be happy, whether self imposed or not.  It’s as if every time I get close to a certain level of contentment, peace or joy, somebody wants to take me down.  I either have to get rid of them from my inner circle or defend myself in an unnecessary war.  I know I’m not alone on this one.  I’ve heard so many people say they’ve had to go through it as well, especially these days.  All of this has lead me to ask, why? 


Why do people let jealousy rule their being? 

Why do people target those they don’t even know? 

Why do people become so enraged that their friend is happy they make it their mission to destroy their life? 

Why does one go behind a friend’s back to sabotage their relationships and/or career? 

Why do some people spend so much of their energy worrying about what someone else has or what they’re doing?

Why do some people lie, cheat, steal and manipulate to get what they want?

Why can’t people just be happy with their own special gifts and talents?


Keep in mind, I’m very much aware of my own shortcomings and the limitations I’ve placed upon myself over the years.  I’ve been on a quest for peace for some time now and I think that’s the source of my frustration.  We can’t live perfect lives and we most certainly can’t have a perfect environment all the time, but why is it so difficult to achieve consistency?  If it’s not one thing, it’s another and quite frankly, I’m sick of it.  Aren’t you?

Even though I created the “why list” above, I actually know the answers.  What really annoys me is the fact that we NEED people like that in our lives.  Why?  To allow each and every one of us the opportunity to live with true balance.  So what’s my lesson in all of this ranting?  TOLERANCE.  Yup!  Apparently I let my skills in this realm fall by the wayside and it’s time to practice for an up and coming game I don’t feel like playing.  Unfortunately though, I don’t have a choice so I guess I might as well roll with the punches. 

Ah yes, games.  I played soccer and was very passionate about it for many years.  Being on a team made me feel as though I was a part of something great, especially when we won (of course).  That’s how I’m feeling about my life now.  I’m a part of something wonderful and fulfilling, but there are a few people who don’t want me to have this experience.  What I’m going through really is like a sporting event.  When a good player emerges from the pack, the opposing team targets that person to prevent them from scoring and/or assisting their teammates to become victorious.  Forget the fact that there’s a coach involved, it’s ALL about that particular player.  Hmmm. 

The rules of soccer are closely related to the rules we all abide by in our daily lives.  In soccer, you can’t use your hands (cheating) and you can’t physically harm another player.  You get a yellow card (warning) and if you do it again, you receive a red card which takes you out of the game.  In the real world, we have laws that are supposed to protect us against those who intend us harm.  We actually have a law in the United States that prosecutes people for perjury so why do some folks exhibit this type of behavior outside a court of law?  Is it because they think they can get away with it?     

What exactly have I done to warrant all this attention?  Perhaps I made a couple of moves which appear to be fancy, difficult and showcases my talent.  Maybe I’ve done nothing at all, but what I do know is that my opposition believes something and instead of attempting to see the truth, they’re trying to take me down so that my team becomes ineffectual.  In this particular case, they’re breaking the rules by lying and using other unscrupulous methods to come out on top.  Nice.  You know what I think about all of this nonsense?  My opposition shouldn’t be playing this game at all.  Since they feel the need to lie, cheat and steal to win, they obviously don’t possess the natural talent required to be successful on their own. 

In lieu of everything going on at the moment, I guess Spirit wants me to pull some tolerance out of my back pocket.  That and perhaps some empathy.  It’s very hard to do when you’re being attacked for no good reason, but how wonderful would it be if I can pull this one off?  The Karmic rewards for a feat so difficult could potentially change the course of my life forever.  It’s too bad my opposition doesn’t see things the same way I do, but I guess that’s their cross to bear when all is said and done. 

Things to Work On Today:

*   Tolerance
*   Empathy
*   Inner strength
*   Karmic rewards
*  The big picture

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Schedule Update

posted Thursday, May 28, 2009 8:09 AM by MysticWonder01

Hey everyone!

I've decided to post my availability here on Wonderland.  I will update this page weekly.  I am accepting call backs and appt. requests.

Week of  September 13th


Saturday, Sept. 12th
All day:  use call back

Sunday, Sept. 13th
8-11pm EST

Monday, Sept. 14th
8-11pm EST

Tuesday, Sept. 15th
10am-12pm EST
1:30-3pm EST
9-11pm EST

Wednesday, Sept. 16th
10am-12pm EST
1:30-3pm EST
9-11pm EST

Thursday, Sept. 17th
10am-12pm EST
1:30-3pm EST
9-11pm EST

Friday, Sept. 18th
10am-12pm EST
8-11pm EST

Saturday, Sept. 19th
10am-12pm EST
8-11pm EST


Cristin

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You Did It To Yourself

posted Thursday, April 23, 2009 11:53 AM by MysticWonder01
Life has been quite the rollercoaster for me over the last few years.  There have been highs, lows and of course, the coaster broke down a few times.  Given everything I’ve been through, it’s safe to say that my body is in need of great rejuvenation.  I took a short vacation at the beginning of March, but I desperately need another.  I’ll be leaving again at the end of May for a week and will be spending a lot of my time on the beach.  Thank God because this crazy Ohio weather is sucking the life out of me.    

Just to be clear, the lows I mentioned isn’t just about me.  I‘ve been mostly concerned about the people in my inner circle.  I’ve had nothing but happiness come to me since the day I moved to Ohio and I’ve made a lot of excellent choices.  Sometimes I pinch myself to make sure I’m really alive.  Yes, this is my life and it’s everything I never planned for.  I think that just might be the key to true happiness.  Don’t plan a damn thing.

A few years ago I had a conversation with someone and told them, “I don’t believe in the 5-year plan.  What if the Universe has a better idea?”  That’s the one thing I stuck with throughout my life and I’m so glad I did because it turned out to be reality.  The only thing I do plan for are fairly immediate personal goals (like moving, for example) and that’s worked out well.  

To be honest, I didn’t always feel this way.  My faith has been tested many times and I didn’t have much confidence in myself, my choices or my environment.  I wasn’t able to get a firm grasp on what I really wanted and I couldn’t figure out why.  I was so emotional about my circumstances that I wasn’t able to tap into my higher self or intuition.  

In hindsight, I recognize that I was given the answers, but I was too afraid to take that flying leap into the unknown.  What made me finally do it, you ask?  I think it was the fact that everyone around me had sped off with their dreams in hand and I was left in the dust.  In actuality I had the vehicle, the gas and the directions.  I just kept my foot firmly pressed on the brake.  How silly, right?

As children we want our way all the time and when it doesn’t happen we yell to our parents, “That’s not fair!“  Every time I got in trouble or didn’t like how I was treated my mother always responded with, “Well, you did it to yourself”.  I hated that phrase with a passion, but guess what?  It was the truth.  I did it to myself…every single time.  

As adults we’re faced with the same choices we had while growing up.  The only difference is now we have more pressing responsibilities, we’re held accountable for our actions and are solely responsible for the outcome.  When things don’t seem to go our way, our internal reflex kicks in and it can transport us right back to being 10 years old.  We want to scream, cry, blame and run away.  We want to ignore what’s staring us in the face.  We don’t want to be wrong and we certainly don’t want to start over.  That takes way too much work, right?

My husband says that life is all about “action and reaction” and I say “everything happens for a reason”.  Now that I think about it, both are true and both require accountability.  It’s always nice to find the silver lining in situations gone wrong, but if we’re not accountable for our actions, we won’t learn anything and will repeat the same pattern until we get it.  In this case we can’t use other people to motivate change.  We have to take the bull by the horns, get off our butts and make it happen.  

Being fearful of the unknown is a distraction.  It enables denial and it prevents us from achieving our dreams.  Keeping your foot on the brake is your own doing, as it was mine.  The most important lesson I received over the years is this:

Withholding who you truly are and what you really want makes you a liar.


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Reading Between The Lies

posted Wednesday, April 15, 2009 11:02 PM by MysticWonder01
Honesty is the best policy, so they say.  In this case I think “they” are absolutely right!  We’re living in a world where a lot of people are dependent on superficial elements to get what they want in relationships and business.  People who will use whatever they have at their disposal in order to come out on top.  

The other side to that is there are people who put themselves out there in a genuine fashion, but get screwed because they were too trusting.  There’s nothing wrong with trusting someone new who may appear to have an interest in you personally or your professionally.  Unfortunately though, I’ve had more people come to me confused and fearful regarding the intentions of their business and romantic partners (or potential ones).  If you happen to be in a situation where you feel someone is trying to pull a fast one OR you‘re worried that you could be overreacting, this article is for you.


The Lines of Omission
Is it really lying by omission or can leaving stuff out be a method of self-preservation?  I think it can be a little bit of both.  Depending on who you’re dealing with, omitting pieces of information while describing a situation could in fact turn into a lie.  If you tell a story to your lover about being at the bar and conveniently forget to mention a mild flirtation and then it comes out, your lover could possibly feel jilted and wonder, “if you can keep this kind of stuff from me, what else are you hiding?”  

Here’s my opinion: if you feel the need to keep things from your partner, whether you think it’s stupid or are fearful of their reaction, then you aren’t truly comfortable with your relationship to begin with or you’re up to no good.  If you’re really into that person, don’t withhold any information.  Most likely you’re only going to create an unnecessary insecurity and that will make the situation worse.  

A healthy relationship is one that allows both parties to be who they really are without feeling judged, fearful or insecure.  Don’t you want the “love of your life” to accept you as is?  Okay, then don’t project a false bravado or omit the truth...it always comes out in the end.  If you aren’t happy with someone who tends to lie by omission, it’s best to check out of the relationship.  


I Want To Believe Them, BUT…
I get a lot relationship questions from friends and clients.  Most of them include the, “I want to believe him/her, BUT…” scenario.  The issue is usually this:  He/she says one thing, does another and makes excuses for their behavior.  I understand when feelings are involved, you may want to give the object of your affection a second, third or even a fourth chance to prove your gut instincts wrong.  

The problem with giving all those chances and not seeing change is that you’re the one who needs to make a change.  You need to drop that person like yesterday’s garbage and make yourself available for someone with pure intent and great follow-through.  If all you seem to get from this person are broken promises, I can assure you that giving a fifth chance won’t instantly transform your relationship.  Only you know what works for you and what doesn’t, so if you’re okay with constantly feeling “let down”, then you only have yourself to blame.


Are you knee deep in someone’s BS?
Below is a short list of guidelines to see if you’re involved with someone who isn’t who they portray themselves to be.

*  They say one thing and do another

*  The person may be too agreeable all the time

*  When challenged, their body language shifts and/or gets real defensive

*  They make excuses for their actions, never being accountable

*  They can’t keep their stories straight

*  When confronted, they project the issue on to you (placing blame)

*  He/she will leave out pieces of necessary info that would complete their story

*  They always find a way to play the victim

*  They make outlandish plans for your future together pre-maturely (the too good to be true façade)

*  He/she carries a jealous, resentful and/or extremely fearful disposition


The Lines of Self-Sabotage
Sometimes we can misconstrue the behavior of people we’re dealing with, whether emotionally or professionally involved.  I’ve seen a lot of folks trying to decipher their co-worker’s intentions and coming to a less than favorable conclusion.  It’s been happening a lot more these days due to the economy and the instability of people’s jobs.

Feeling lost and insecure from time to time are natural things we all go through.  We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t feel them, but this sort of negativity (if dwelled upon long enough) can eventually destroy the foundation built for success. 

I truly believe in the Law of Attraction as I use it all the time in my daily life and have experienced an array of outcomes, positive and seemingly negative.  What you put out to the Universe does in fact come back to you, sometimes 10-fold.  We can sabotage our work environment and relationships by assuming something is true when it’s not and generally it’s when we’re being pessimistic.  We can also sabotage our lives by believing a daydream without having a solid experience to back it up.  By doing this, we can place all the real stuff on hold until we see the truth in the situation.


Are you overreacting to someone’s behavior?
Check the list below to see if you might be sabotaging a potentially good relationship:

*  You constantly question what’s going on without concrete proof of wrong-doing

*  You need your lover/boss to validate you all the time

*  You’re always wondering when the other shoe is going to drop due to past situations/fear

*  You freak out when he/she doesn’t call you exactly when they say they will and even when they do call, you berate them with questions

*  You analyze people’s motives when they make plans that don’t include you

*  You judge people based on their behavior in past relationships

*  You take part in stalking tactics like breaking into email/voicemail or do drive by’s

*  If you are ex’s getting back together, you hold the “what went wrong” stuff over their head

*  You call your psychic and ask leading questions to get proof that he/she is a liar

*  It doesn’t take much to trigger jealousy and resentment

*  You find manipulative/secretive ways to get what you want


The Real Deal
Trying to figure out whether or not someone is being truthful can be an adventure all on its own.  One can fly from extreme highs to lows in a matter of hours while analyzing their situation.  We can often brand ourselves victims once we get to the absolute truth…we knew he/she wasn’t exactly forthcoming and honest from the very beginning.  It’s a hard pill to swallow, that’s for sure!

I believe our emotions and egos have a tendency to cloud our judgment while going through the process.  The key to making decisions that you can not only live with, but be happy with is to let go of the “what if” factor, anger, jealousy, resentment and fear.  Don’t beat yourself up for missing the truth.  We all have our moments and we wouldn’t be able to move forward without that tough lesson.  Some people get it in a timely fashion and others need that extra kick in the pants to wake up.  The most important thing to remember is this:

If you are honest with yourself, the answers to your most pressing questions can be found within.

Once you get to the heart of the matter, you need to accept what you’re seeing, feeling and experiencing as the absolute truth and only then will you be able to take that leap into a future you can be proud of.

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I Want The Fairytale!

posted Saturday, April 11, 2009 10:55 AM by MysticWonder01
Stories about experiencing  the “great love” have been around for centuries.  We’re exposed to idealistic soul mate scenarios in books, movies and magazines all the time.  We see things through the eyes of the media and think, “I want that!” and “I wish someone would feel that way about me”.  It’s not just those beautiful love stories we hear about.  It’s also the pressure from outside sources such as family members or seeing everyone else settling down that can make the singles out there wonder, “Why not me?”

Believe it or not, the two most common questions I receive during a love reading are, “Am I just wasting my time?” and “Is he/she worth it?”  instead of “When will I meet the person that’s in my highest good?“ I believe those common two have the answer within the question.  If you are asking to begin with, the answer is an unequivocal NO.  No, it’s not worth it if you have to do the following:

*  Beg for someone to be there for you
*  Wish that someone would call you and wait for weeks, months or years
*  Wonder when someone will break up with someone else
*  Put on a show to make someone believe you’re their “type”
*  Push for someone to pop “the question”
*  Do something radical to get commitment you want

If you’re with someone who loves you for who you really are they will be there, call you and commit without you having to do much at all.  There won’t be that push me, pull you “connection”.  There won’t be any crazy drama between the two of you.  In general, there’s always something going on in our lives that could result in drama, but I’m not talking about that.  I’m referring mostly to the back and forth relationships which could result in unnecessary heartache and pain.  Unnecessary being the operative word here.

Great Expectations and the Fairytale
What is the fairytale, exactly?  I’ve seen a few different scenarios that fit the description and they are as follows:  

1-  The return of the long-lost love
When we’re single it’s easy to go back in time and feel nostalgic over a long-lost love.  That one person who we could’ve been with, but got away.  I believe that holding on to someone from the past for an extended period of time does nothing but prevent one from living.  I would know, I’ve done it.  When I finally realized that holding on to this guy wasn’t doing me any good, my life transformed dramatically.  This particular person recently contacted me after 5 years of nothing.  Now we’re both married with children and oddly enough, none of those old feelings came to the surface.  Now I feel like I’ve got my friend back, which means the world to me.

2-  The back and forth love that ultimately leads to marriage/commitment
This is the most popular scenario I’m presented with during readings.  They’re here, they disappear and then show up again.  I’ve yet to see anyone in this situation express gratitude and happiness while going through the back and forth.  Is it possible that one could get what they want after all is said and done?  Sure.  Is it probable?  Nope.  The reason I say no is because of the following:

a-  You wouldn’t be going back and forth if the relationship was real and stable to begin with.

b-  There wouldn’t be a back and forth if both parties truly accepted one another for who they are.

c-   One or both parties have unrealistic expectations and want the other to make all the changes

The worst thing in the world for me is having to give a reading on the back and forth.  Even if I see the individuals having the possibility of a long-term relationship in the end, there’s usually A LOT of change and growth that needs to occur before anything good could come out of the situation.  What I do in those cases is tell the client what I see (since that is what they’re paying me for), but also advise them to be realistic.  That’s a general statement, of course.  I do my readings case by case without judgment and I don’t carry stereotypical views.

3-  The instant “connection” when two people meet
This is my absolute favorite situation.  The dream that two people can meet and instantly know it’s forever.  I don’t believe in this personally as I didn‘t feel this way when I met my husband.  Actually, my judgment was clouded by my own issues and fears.  To be honest, I’ve never received information for any client that this scenario will happen for them and I‘ve been doing this work for many years.  I do, however, believe in instant chemistry/infatuation.  

This is another example of having great expectations.  It is said that you don’t really know someone until you’ve been with them for a year and a day…without any breaks.  I agree with that statement and I also think that it can take longer, depending on the situation.  How is it even possible for two people to KNOW they’re with the right person for them the second they meet?  Sure, we all have intuition, but wishful thinking and loneliness that can drive one to believe something they can’t prove immediately.  I’m a psychic who has been very successful in reading my own life and even I missed the boat when I first met my man.  Believe me when I say that this particular fairytale is just that…a fairytale.

The nice thing about the media’s perception of love and relationships is that they offer a great deal of hope.  We all need hope in our lives to proceed forward with our dreams and goals, but when does hope become a hindrance to achieving them?  There is such a thing as false hope and nobody wants to experience that.  You know you’re living in that situation when you’re not getting what you want from another person naturally.  

Try This Instead…
Seeking love based on “the fairytale” is like being someone you’re not and trying to live someone else’s life.  Taking this route never produces positive results.  I believe that everyone deserves to be happy and can achieve that if they’re honest with themselves.  Who are you?  What type of relationship do you really want?  If you’re clear about those two things and are not trying to fit into some idealistic mold or change another person, you’ll have greater chances of ending up in a situation that will actually work and last.  

Create a life that’s real and you’ll have a fairytale of your own to share.

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Red Light, Green Light...Again!

posted Friday, March 27, 2009 11:44 AM by MysticWonder01
Unlike most people, I celebrate my New Year’s Day on February 1st.  Nothing special has ever happened in this month.  I usually reap the benefits of that 4-week transition in March.  The new “New Year” tradition began about 2 years ago after I left Michigan in the pursuit of something.  What that was, I don’t remember.  What I do know is that I made the right choice for myself.  

Doing what’s best for yourself without allowing the pangs of guilt and fear to take over is the key to everlasting happiness, in my opinion.  Just so we’re clear, I’m not saying to do this out of jealousy or with the intention of hurting another and using them as a pawn.  No, no, no!  I’m saying that most of the time, taking a leap of faith into the unknown will change your life for the better.  It did with mine, that’s for sure.

So there I was, twiddling my thumbs and waiting for February to be over so I could start my new life.  I had a lot of fantastic ideas and things I wanted to pursue right then, but was stopped dead in my tracks.  I feel like a child playing that game “Red Light, Green Light“.  This happens almost every year!  You’d think I would have the hang of it by now, but noooo.  It still drives me crazy!  That’s the thing about being human; there’s always something that’ll get ya every single time.

I had a lot of topics to write about, yet I couldn’t get anything down.  I had birthday money to spend, but couldn’t find anything that tickled my fancy.  I had these wonderful visions for my website, but couldn’t implement the layout.  Those are just a few examples.  Needless to say, every door I tried to open seemed to have a huge sign that read, “DO NOT ENTER.”  Then I thought to myself, “The only thing I’m able to finish or be consistent with is working out.  Perhaps that’s the only thing I can take on right now.”   When I had that epiphany, I decided to do what I always end up doing in this situation…chill out and let my intuition guide me to the next step.  Thank God I stuck with working out because I lost 15 pounds that month, YAY!

A couple of days after my light bulb moment, I decided to check out Borders since I had a gift card.  At first I was seeking a new journal, but I quickly realized while browsing through them all that it wasn’t what I needed.  I haven’t been to this store in years so I looked around and came to the Metaphysical section.  I found 2 new books by one of my favorite authors, Sonia Choquette and had a major intuitive hit to buy them.  I don’t normally spend a lot of time reading other people’s work if they’re in my field because that might influence my writing.  I understand there are other people out there who have belief systems similar to my own and that‘s cool, but I still need to be original.  

I bought the books and started reading one.  I didn’t even make it passed the introduction when I realized that I was lead straight to the perfect source of motivation I needed.  That’s the thing about letting go…the Universe always has something special in store, we just have to wait until it is time.  That special thing for me at that time was finding new and innovative ways to connect with my higher self in order to achieve abundance in my career.  Abundance to me isn’t really about money.  It’s about being truly happy and fulfilled with whatever I’m doing.  So I gathered some tips from the wonderful author and began a new journey with my career.  Unfortunately, I was stopped yet again!  Hmmmm, just when I thought I had it all figured out.

So I lived through February just fine and there wasn’t a whole lot going on.  I did have to prepare for my trip to Vegas, which was March 1st.   I figured that Vegas would be the highlight of March and I was expecting to get the green light to move forward after I came home from my trip.  When that didn’t happen within the first two weeks I thought to myself, “Okay, I guess I’m missing something here.”  Well, I was.  On March 17th ( our anniversary) Dave said to me, “So…do you wanna do it?” and I said, “Sure.  Wait, you’re talking about sex, right?”  No, he was talking about marriage so now we’re doing it on April 4th.  

Once I got engaged, I was finally able to finish this blog entry.  I started it at the beginning of February.  

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Holiday Rehab

posted Sunday, November 16, 2008 12:17 PM by MysticWonder01
It is said that God never gives us anything we can’t handle. I also believe that God has a sick and twisted way of making us clear out the issues that have hindered our growth and ability to enjoy life to the fullest. A few years ago, God checked me into holiday rehab. I’ve had a few relapses, but I’ve been clear for a while. Now I’m ready to tell my story. So here it goes…

Hi, my name is Cristin and I’m a recovering “Holiday Saboholic“. (all together now, HI CRISTIN!) For those who don’t know, a “Holiday Saboholic” is someone who sabotages their life around the holiday season.

For many years the holidays have been a source of torment for my mom, sister and I. That sounds pretty bad, but it’s the closest word I could find to describe the emotional mess my father created. 15 years ago he left us for another woman on Christmas Day and designed a permanent scar on the three of us, whether we choose to see it or not. Throughout the years my father and his woman have made it very clear to us that it's their way or we can "F" right off.  Nice, eh?

Right after he left my sister said, “But, Mommy…it’s Christmas!“ My mother took the hardest hit and re-lives that moment every year, which is why she no longer celebrates on Christmas Day. Laura has been stuck in the middle between my feuding parents since the divorce and now that she’s married with a family of her own, it’s gotten worse. I, on the other hand, chose to detach as much as I could for self-preservation purposes. It’s kept the drama out of my life, but what I didn’t realize is that I created a huge wall that blocked that necessary connection to family, in general.

Now that I think about it, every relationship I’ve attracted since the divorce was with men who were family guys. Most of them came from families in which their parents were married and celebrated the holidays in a big way. That always made me feel extremely uncomfortable and out of sync with everyone. So what did I do? I found a way to sabotage the relationship, hoping to find someone who had a similar lifestyle to my own. I did this because I thought that nobody would truly love me for who I was or understand how my mind worked. Also, I was afraid to enjoy the holidays with someone’s family because I knew that my mother was miserable.

Now I see how I set myself up for failure in my relationships. It was as if I had a “dump them” time bomb ticking away, deep inside my soul and I always followed through. I believed that I didn’t want to get married because forever doesn’t exist. I told myself that I wouldn’t be a family person unless I created one of my own. I later decided that I didn’t want children of my own out of fear that I would lose my independence and freedom. Being involved with my boyfriend’s children was easy because I’m not their mother, am not responsible for their upbringing and for how they turn out. I was just the friendly female on the side they could spend time with and have something else to look forward to when they’re with their father.

I was SO wrong about SO much. The strange thing about this major epiphany is this: When I finally opened up to the possibility that I could be happy by allowing people in and experiencing a different lifestyle, I ended up getting everything I‘ve been needing and really wanting for many years. I’m in a relationship with a fantastic man who loves me for who I am and understands how my mind works. Due to the fact that my step-mother is a nosey turbo-bitch-on-wheels, I’ve made sure that I have a solid relationship with Dave’s girls and they have plenty of alone time with their daddy.  I also have a child of my own and can‘t imagine my life without him. I get plenty of freedom and my independence is still very much in tact.

Now that I’ve reached a huge milestone in my recovery, I have a completely different perspective of what I need, want and what I can accomplish if I just keep my head out of my ass.  I used to avoid decorating my home for Christmas and now I'm able to do it with pure joy!  This year I decided to deck my halls a bit early.  It totally changed the mood in my home!

In closing, I’d like to extend some advice to all you divorced parents fighting over time with your children during the holidays. My parents always had knock-down, drag-out arguments over stupid stuff like this. If neither parent stands up and makes a decision based on their children's needs, all they will hear is...

Mom: That’s not fair, I want “this!“

Dad: I don’t give a crap, I want “that!”

Children don’t care about their parents’ issues. What about what’s best for them? How hard is it to come up with a compromise so that everyone is happy without clawing each other‘s eyes out? What makes you think your kids want what you do? PLEASE! I implore you to take some time away from being self-absorbed to figure that out. Your children shouldn’t have to suffer like I have. All it takes is a jacked up childhood to sabotage many years of their adult lives.

Thank you.

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Attack of the Smelly Garbage

posted Saturday, November 15, 2008 9:32 AM by MysticWonder01

What a strange title to this entry, eh?  Well, let me just preface this whole deal by saying that most of my garbage is cleared out of my life, however, there are a lot of people around me who haven’t started yet and are suffering from someone sending garbage their way.

First and foremost, my usually lovely and very laid-back boyfriend, Dave. He’s so nice, but when he is overwhelmed with pointless BS, and I mean VERY overwhelmed, he becomes incredibly detached and introspective. Today, for the first time EVER, I watched as his attitude went from humorously annoyed to all about the “pay back”.

I presented him with the verbal smack down, explaining the laws of Karma and he just laughed. Of course he did, he’s a guy who is pissed off over things he can’t control and quite honestly, doesn’t give a rat’s hoo ha about Karma. He’s all about the instant gratification at the moment and who can blame him? We all feel that way when we’re attacked by someone else’s smelly garbage. So where does it all come from? There are many sources, but here are the most popular ones…

* Jealousy

* Competing with others

* Being self-serving

* Needing to be in control

 

Jealousy -

Ah yes, jealousy. I’ve been dying to write about this topic for YEARS, but never received the intuitive hit to do so. Since I’ve been hearing so many complaints about this lately, I figured that now would be a great time.

Straight up jealousy or as Spirit would say, envy to the extreme, is the #1 killer of true joy and fulfillment. From what I gather, it’s also the most potent stench found in someone’s garbage. Does that sound harsh? Well, it IS harsh, especially if you’re on the receiving end. It took me a while and now I’ve figured out where this “envy to the extreme” comes from…but first, what is jealousy, really?

From the ever-so-handy Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

Jeal·ous-

1: intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness

2: hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage

3: vigilant in guarding a possession

I’ve highlighted #2 because that’s the definition that’s sweeping the collective these days. My way of wording the definition of jealousy is this: You see someone with the life, person, notoriety or thing you want and instead of being happy for them, you’re pissed. Notice the word “rival” in the dictionary’s definition. A rival doesn’t always have to be someone you don’t like. In some cases, it starts out when people are friends or co-workers and after the jealousy sets in, it can take on a life of its own. More often than not, the person feeling envious doesn’t even know the other person that well, if at all. This is especially true if we‘re talking about the work place and the people involved aren‘t social outside of that environment.

Here are the most common scenarios and complaints derived from jealousy:

A co-worker is doing the same job as you and makes more money

Your ex-lover is happy with his/her love life and you still aren’t with yours

A friend seems to “have it all” and you can’t seem to get it together

Someone is getting a lot of attention and you think nobody notices you

Most people don’t want to feel jealous of another, but sometimes they just can’t help it. The #1 reason people get jealous of someone is because they lack the confidence to create the life they really want. No confidence and drive = No real life of your own, plain and simple.

Getting back to Dave for a second. The reason why he was so irritated this week is because one of his peers in his business class was defaming his contributions to everyone in his study group in a public forum. This guy wasn’t even close to telling the truth, wasted time by bragging about himself and was tearing people down. This guy isn’t using the group situation in a productive manner. He’s trying to take control, compete with others and is seeking notoriety in a situation which requires individual contributions.

 

Competition-

Jealousy and competition go hand in hand, however, there is such a thing as healthy competition. It’s only healthy when you have a natural drive to succeed, but aren’t out to “get” or “one-up” somebody else to achieve your goal. If that’s the route you’re taking, let me say that it will come back to haunt you. Unless you’re willing to take that chance and live with the consequences, I’d advise you to make a right hand turn and try something with pure intent.

About a year ago, I had a friend complain to me about a co-worker who had stolen a great idea she came up with. This person went to their manager behind my friend’s back and presented the new concept. The manager loved it and now my friend is left feeling angry toward this co-worker (who pretended to be her friend, by the way) and dreading the job.

I said to her, “Sweetie, this girl doesn’t think she can come up with her own ideas and be successful, so she took yours to try and promote herself.” Since my friend is quite popular at work and this girl doesn‘t seem to be, I added, “She may also be envious of your popularity and wants to get noticed. Instead of being herself, she’s trying to be YOU. Maybe she‘s tried other things and nothing worked.” With all of that said my friend replied, “But WHY would she want to be ME? My life sucks!” Yes, why indeed… By the way, this co-worker was recently fired from the job, which had nothing to do with my friend. Karma anyone?

If people really knew what the object of their affliction’s life was really about, would they be jealous? Maybe, but most likely not. Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. You may think you want what someone else has, but what if you’re wrong about them? You know what “they” say about assuming. Just don’t do it!

Here are a couple of ways to get out of the unhealthy, competitive realm:

 

Play a supportive role with people instead of trying to “one-up” them.

If you take the time to see things from a non-emotional perspective, you will be able to appreciate and support the person you are intimidated by. Being self-serving will not garner you any sympathy or support. Once you do this, chances are you could find yourself in healthier working relationships and/or friendships.

 

Take on a career/hobby that you truly love instead of trying to do something that will only serve as an attention getter.

“Do what you love and the money will come” has been a popular saying for quite some time now and it’s not only true with finances, but with everything in life. If you’re doing what you truly love then you won’t be bothered by office politics, gossip, anyone else’s status or have the need to be constantly validated. It wouldn’t even pop into your mind.

 

Don’t try to be somebody else.

We hear it all the time, BE YOURSELF! Yes, be yourself and be ORIGINAL. You will not gain popularity or notoriety in the long run when you’re nothing but a theif. This is especially true in the work place when you steal someone else’s ideas or practice plagiarism. The truth always comes out. Take a chance with your own ideas. You never know who will actually like what you put out there. Stealing will only leave you with this: You weren’t the creative genius behind those fabulous ideas and you‘re still unhappy.

 

Accept situations and other people as they are.

My new favorite line is, “Miracles happen when you stop trying to change what is.” You don’t have to like another person to accept who they are. Acceptance means understanding that a person or situation is what it is, it can’t be changed and it’s pointless wasting your energy trying to do so. Once you accept things are they are, you’ll be able to work around them without being highly emotional and going into an unnecessary frenzy. Furthermore, if you’re trying to do something over and over, but without the results you‘re seeking, perhaps you’re not on the path that’s meant for YOU.

In closing I’d like to say that we can’t be victims all the time. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE has been guilty of dumping their smelly garbage on to someone else. Sometimes it can’t be avoided, but as long as you own up to the fact that you’ve been the “dumper”, you will probably receive forgiveness and be able to start again with a clean slate.
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The Source of Unhappiness

posted Wednesday, November 05, 2008 12:51 PM by MysticWonder01

To be or not to be? That is the question or maybe it’s the solution? I say it’s the solution. In my opinion that famous phrase is not a question, but a choice. To be or not to be happy/sad, angry/calm, selfish/grateful, hurt/joyful, arrogant/humble, lonely/fulfilled or intimidated/confident. Those are just some of the moods we can choose from while going through life‘s many challenges or triumphs.

I’ve been doing a bit of soul searching again and it’s not because something happened. It’s because things are happening all around me, all the time. I am human therefore I have moments of insanity. It’s usually over stuff I cannot control and in the grand scheme of things, usually ends up being silly. Just to be clear, I said moments, not freak-outs that go on for years. I graduated to the moments level a few years ago, which I believe is perfectly normal. I realized with everything I can’t control I have a choice: To be or not to be affected by someone else’s perspective and actions.

We are presented with that choice in everyday life, no matter which area we are focused on at the time. You may think the source of unhappiness is not having what you want in life. WRONG! The source of unhappiness is living with a lack of confidence and not staying true to yourself. I see it all the time with friends, family, clients and even myself at times. We think that if we had this one thing, then all will be good with the world. When it arrives, however, we notice something else we want, but alas, don’t have and that takes us right back to square one: Being unhappy.

Part of the reason some people are unhappy is because they are constantly giving their power away to something/someone else. I’ve been guilty of this plenty of times in my life, so fear not, you’re not alone on this one. This damaging lightening bolt can strike anyone, anywhere and at any time.

Why Do We Give Our Power Away?

Here are the top reasons you are letting other people and situations dictate how you feel…

* Not having enough confidence in your own choices.

* Waiting for other people to validate you.

* Freaking out when something doesn’t go your way.

* Comparing your life to someone else‘s.

* Caring too much about what other people may think of you.

Getting Your Power Back

The only things we can control is what we put out to the public and how we react to others. The number one reason we react negatively to any situation is because we don’t have enough confidence in our own choices. If someone doesn’t share your opinion, so be it. If someone doesn’t find you attractive, focus elsewhere. If someone wants to put themselves first, you do the same. If someone lies to you, don‘t dwell on it. If you allow yourself to live your life based on what other people want or believe, you’re not living at all.

Here are the easiest ways to get your power back…

* Listen to your heart and soul. Don’t do anything that doesn’t feel right.

* If someone tries to make you feel like crap, stand up for yourself!

* Connect with yourself. Think about the things you want and pursue them.

* Don’t wait for someone else to validate you. Give yourself kudos when necessary.

* Trust in yourself. If you have confidence in your choices, other people will too.

MOST IMPORTANTLY:

* Stick with people who love you for who you are, flaws and all. If you are trying to be with someone who wants you to be “somebody else“, you may be trying to fit an elephant into a dime-size cube. It’s never good to change yourself just to make someone else feel better.

If you can muster up some confidence in your daily life, you will find that making decisions, getting along with others and not worrying so much will become MUCH easier. You’ll be able to stay focused on what’s really important to you. Not only that, but you’ll also be able to attract what you want without having to fight so hard. So today, choose TO BE happy, grateful, calm, joyful, humble and confident. All of these things will lead to fulfillment.
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The "Economic Meltdown" Sale!

posted Wednesday, October 29, 2008 9:40 AM by MysticWonder01

Hello to my lovely clients!  I haven't run a sale in a while and since there seems to be a lot of crazy energy floating around, I decided that this is the right week to do it.  I will be lowering my price to $3.99 per minute from today until Friday night.  I will be taking appointments first and then call backs.

Below is my tentative availability, but since I have to work around Angelo's naps, the times may change.  Please check my listing for current updates:

Wednesday, Oct. 29th

12pm-3pm EST

8pm-10:30pm EST

 

Thursday, Oct. 30th

Daytime:  email me

9pm-11pm EST

 

Friday, Oct. 31st

Daytime:  email me

9pm-11pm EST

 

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Finding Joy Through Disorganization

posted Sunday, October 19, 2008 11:26 AM by MysticWonder01

Yesterday started out a little crazy in my house. I bolted out of bed at 7am for no reason. I checked on Angelo and he was sleeping soundly. The girls weren’t up and Dave was dead to the world so I figured I’d go down to my office and get some things done. 8:30am rolls around and everyone got up. Dave’s 4-year old was having multiple trantrums over absolutely nothing and spent the majority of the morning in “time out”. Around 1pm he decided to take all 3 kids to the store to get their Halloween costumes, which was nice because Cristin Time is scarce these days.

I got in a 30 minute work-out and meditated in a fabulously mystical ambient. I was probably down for a little over an hour and came out of it a totally different person. When I crash during meditation it’s usually because my Chakras are all out of whack and my energy needs to heal itself. It’s amazing how wonderful you can feel after you take some time away from life to get in tune with yourself. I used a guided meditation for the first time and it was great!

After dinner last night I took some work calls and watched as Dave gave me a demonstration of his new weight bench. The next thing I know, I’m sifting through my computer and deleting all sorts of stuff I forgot I had hosted on that thing. I honestly do not remember how or why I landed there, it’s all a blur at the moment, but I’m glad I was lead there.

I previewed each file to make sure it was something I needed only to realize that I’ve been hosting items from the old-school! My God, I found pages that haven’t been updated since 2004, 2006 and 2007! Not only that, but I came across a few things I haven’t seen since 2001. Some I used and others never made it to publication. All I could think was, “Cristin, are you serious? What‘s the matter with you? How could you miss all of this?” I sat for a moment, thought about it and came to the conclusion that my computer, aka my life, is a disaster area. Yes, my computer has always been my life so how on Earth could I allow it to get so messed up? Then I wondered, “If I can neglect my computer so easily, then what am I capable of doing to myself?”

Each file I viewed took me down memory lane. I looked at those graphics made back in 2001 and compared it to what I’m doing now. What a HUGE difference! My God, I’ve grown so much just in graphic design alone and when I think about it, I’ve grown in leaps and bounds in my personal life as well. Each graphic and every page is a clear representation of who I was in ‘01, ‘04, ‘06 and ‘07. Oddly enough, those years have turned out to be the most significant, life-altering ones I’ve experienced to date! Interesting. I guess it’s time to do what I do best…chuck those files! So that’s what I did. I deleted them one by one and watched as the last remnants of my past slipped away.

The strangest thing happened when I was going through everything. I found a poem I wrote many years ago and it was the only one I had on the server. The message was about taking time for myself and getting away from life. If that isn’t a sign, I don’t know what is! Right after I deleted that poem, which was the last of the files, I received an email from my friend Jo. She sent me a link to a 10-minute You Tube video of this woman who was giving a speech titled, “Why Do We Celebrate Full Moons?“ It included thoughts about meditation, becoming one with your energy and transformation. Now how appropriate is that for me right now? Bizarre…

I’m always so amazed with how the Universe/God connects us to the right people and points us in the right direction when we need it the most. Now that I’ve had some time to let the events of yesterday sink in, I’ve realized that you can find joy through disorganization. If I wasn’t able to view those files, I wouldn’t have been able to see my growth and give myself kudos for a job well done. We all need to pat ourselves on the back once in a while and apparently my time is now. Is my life really a disaster area? Absolutely not, but it never hurts to get rid of stuff that doesn’t reflect the current reality.
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The Urge to Purge

posted Thursday, September 18, 2008 4:37 PM by MysticWonder01

Been hit by the cleaning fairy lately? Yeah, me too. Fall is usually the time I feel compelled to purge my home of anything that doesn’t match my energy and no longer fits into my home and/or life. This includes old pictures, letters, unfinished writings and other useless crap I’ve accumulated over time. I guess Fall is coming a little early for me this year because I feel like the cleaning fairy is using me as a ball for her batting practice. I’m getting nailed left and right with the urge to purge.

It’s not just me though. Family, friends and clients have contacted me with their stories and they all seem to sound the same, “Oh my God I had to clean and I found this old artifact from my past so I decided to strip my house of all the crap!” It’s different for me though. I got rid of most of the stuff from my past when I moved into this home. Everything, but my couch. My boyfriend, on the other hand, has yet to go through a few of his boxes that have reminants of his ex-wife. I let him know and he was horrified, so I guess he’ll be joining us pretty soon.

My big thing this week was getting rid of the girls’ old toys and turning their playroom into a work-out room. That will be Dave’s special place. The other project I took on was creating a more spiritual home office for myself. I’ve had this gigantic space since March with nothing but my computer and an old wardrobe in it. So yesterday we purged the playroom and I fixed up my office. Boy, does it feel incredible! The energy is completely different and more condusive to my own. Every time I enter this room, I feel invigorated, motivated and happy. Yes, happy. That’s how you know the purge was a success.

Why Do We Have The Urge To Purge?

When the urge comes on strong, out of nowhere, it’s time to pay attention to your current surroundings. Is this your dream room or home? Does it look the way you want it to? Do you have what you really want from life? If the answer is “no”, then it’s time to chuck all the stuff that doesn’t feel right anymore. Generally the purge is meant to clear out the old to make room for the new. This can also represent an impending life change.

Most of the time, our homes are a representation of how we feel about ourselves in some way. If you have accumulated a lot of clutter, most likely the issue is a problem with letting go. If your space is practically empty, that is how you’re feeling inside (or just like the open space). If you are in between those two examples, you are probably more balanced, but still could use a splash of inspiration or an upgrade. We all need to polish up our personal spaces from time to time. If you’re living with others and the problem is their clutter, it’s time to have a little chat.

Children have a tendency to take after one or both parents. If you have a messy child who (no matter what you do) won’t clean up their act, it’s time to get to the root of the problem. Most likely, their disorganization and “I could care less” attitude is some reflection of what’s going on inside the home and/or an emotional imbalance. If you’ve got a neat freak on your hands, they probably feel like they have to be perfect, have to be in control and/or care too much about what other people think of them. The reason for both examples could be as simple as them reacting to their environment and following in their parents’ footsteps.

Items that no longer serve a purpose can block your opportunities for growth and change, especially things from the past. Each item you get rid of should be something you really don’t use, don’t need and don’t like to look at. If it reminds you of something negative, it has to go immediately. When you get rid of that item, you’re releasing old energy that’s been suffocating you and perhaps affecting your moods. Your home should only have things that satisfy your true desires and needs.

A List Of Things To Get Rid Of…

Even though the purge is self-explanatory, I decided to offer up a short list of things to get rid of as a guideline.

* Photographs of yourself and others that represents a bad time in your life

* Letters and/or journals that reflect frustration, unhappiness and your old self

* Computer files (including MP3’s)

* Furniture pieces that doesn’t fit your vision

* Clothes/shoes that no longer fit or will never wear again

* Checkbooks that have an old address/ex-partner’s name

* Home décor that makes you feel icky

* Old make-up/hair products

* Books you won’t ever read again

* Electronics/kitchen appliances that aren’t in use

* Empty boxes

* Old bills

Sometimes we think “this one thing” should have a home in our space, but it may be the ONE thing that stinks up the atmosphere. Also, make sure you go over your space with fine tooth comb when you believe the purge is over. You never know what could be lurking behind that dresser of yours, *wink*.

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