Queen Sunshine

He’s an Ex for a reason!

Queen Sunshine — Sat, 02 Oct 2010 03:00:00 GMT

10 Reasons why He is and should stay an Ex

10. The relationship was toxic (meaning it wasn’t healthy)

9. He continued to keep in touch with his ex’s (never severed ties)

8. He put everything before you (friends, family, work)

7. He wouldn’t commit to you (exclusive-monogamous/marriage)

6. He never took you anywhere or spent money on you

5. He was controlling during the relationship

4. He wasn’t attentive to your feelings, nor did he support you on your goals/ambitions

3. He was physically, emotionally, financially and verbally abusive to you during the relationship.

2. He cheated on you

1. He lied to you

Many women call me and ask about their ex’s. Please know that in order to move forward into a healthy relationship and be with someone who loves you and you love them, it requires healing from past relationship/people. Asking about and wanting to be with an ex is not healthy and will hold up the process of meeting someone new. So before asking about an ex please remember why he is an ex in the first place. Please try your best to allow yourself time to heal before getting into another relationship.

This blog is not meant to upset anyone only to empower! Please know that as a Psychic I am here to help.

What’s the big deal? Everybody does it!

Queen Sunshine — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 07:35:00 GMT

Justifies

The definition of justification is an excuse for by reasoning, explanation to participate in an act or to say something. Putting it bluntly justifying is a form of lying. Self justification is making an excuse to thereby act (behavior) upon one’s feelings.

Self justification is very dangerous because it can lead to unthinkable actions. Some people justify cheating on their mates. Often people justify staying in unhealthy relationships. Are you justifying when you don’t report all of your income on your income tax? Is it a form of justifying when you keep putting off exercising for another day? An employee sits behind a desk on the computer. “The company won’t mind if I spend some time on the internet.” ”I have completed all of my work." When we cross those lines, we are justifying behavior that we know is wrong precisely so that we can continue to see ourselves as honest people and not criminals or thieves. Regardless of an individual has spilled ink on a hotel bedspread, or a big thing such as embezzlement, the mechanism of self justification is the same. If letting go of self justification and admitting mistakes is so beneficial to the mind and relationships, why aren’t more of us doing it? If we are so grateful to others when they do it, why don’t we do it more often?

First, we don’t do it because, as we have seen, most of the time we aren’t aware that we need to. Self justification is mostly automatic, just beneath consciousness, protecting us from the dissonant realization that we did anything wrong. Mistake? What mistake? I didn’t make a mistake.

Second, most people don’t like to admit that they have made a mistake. Also, America is mistake phobic culture. Americans link mistakes to stupidity. All of us have difficult decisions to make in our lives. Some of those choices will not be the right ones; however, it is important to be held responsible for the decisions. Some of the decisions will be complicated with unforeseen consequences. It is vital the temptation be resisted not to justify the actions in an overconfident manner, this will allow an open door to empathize and appreciate complexity of life, including the possibility that what was right for us might not be right for someone else.

For example a woman named Deborah decided to leave her husband of twenty five years, that decision was the right one for her. Deborah took her time in coming to a conclusive justification for divorcing her husband. She took responsibility for her actions despite the fact that it upset her daughter for many years. The moral to the story is take responsibility for your own actions. Especially if this means standing up against those that may not agree with your final choice. We have the ability to change if we choose to. That change can make a difference in how a decision is made. Have you justified lately?

What are HIS intentions?

Queen Sunshine — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 07:51:00 GMT

Many clients call asking of the intentions of others. Where does he intend to take our relationship?

What does he intend to do with me? What are his intentions regarding his wife, ex girlfriend, mother of children?

I hear this same line of questioning over and over again. When a man and woman get involved in a relationship it is wise to go over the intentions from the beginning. Know the intentions before taking things further. This means sit down and talk to each other eyeball to eyeball. If you hear something in the conversation that you are not happy with, please ask questions right away. If it is still not appealing to you WALK away. Do not stay around in the relationship hoping, wishing that you can change his mind. This will only lead to you getting your feelings hurt. He will not change UNTIL he is ready too. There is nothing you can say or do will change him!!!

If he tells you, I like you a lot BUT I am not ready for a serious relationship right now, please believe him. Most men will not admit this to you. If he is telling you that he cares for you but his actions are the opposite of what he is saying, go with his actions as they speak louder than words!

Most relationships breakdown because there is a lack of communication and some are doomed from the start because of one simple word intention. Majority of the time there are two people with two totally different intentions in mind.

What are HIS intentions?

Queen Sunshine

10 Things that scream don't hire me!!

Queen Sunshine — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 21:13:00 GMT

Lately, I've been experiencing alot of calls from people seeking employment or wanting to change jobs. So, I decided to provide some tips that may helpful.

You just don't get it. You've applied to numerous jobs, been to countless interviews and made several new contacts in your network -- yet here you are -- still sitting on the unemployment list. What gives?

Well ... have you ever stopped to consider that what gives might in fact be ... you?

It's a hard concept that most job seekers have trouble wrapping their heads around, but applicants frequently -- inadvertently -- raise red flags to hiring managers that immediately scream, "Don't hire me!" But, it might not be entirely your fault.

"Most companies don't give direct feedback about areas people are weak in while they are employed. They are enabling poor performance and lack of accountability. The same mentality exists when people interview. They feel they did 'great' on the interview and never look at themselves for if they feel that the interviewer was looking for something different.

Not sure if you're unknowingly blowing your chances at scoring your dream job? Here are 10 red flags to be wary of during your next job hunt:

Red flag No. 1: You don't have any contact information on your résumé

When you're crafting your résumé, you should focus on highlighting relevant skills and accomplishments that are in line with the position for which you are applying. But what good is an impressive résumé if hiring managers have no way to get in touch with its owner? If they can't find you, they can't hire you. Always provide a home address, phone number or e-mail address so employers can get in touch with you easily.

Red flag No. 2: You have long gaps between jobs on your résumé

Even if your long departure from the work force is valid, extended lapses of unemployment might say to an employer, "Why weren't you wanted by anyone?" Anytime you have more than a three-month gap of idleness on your résumé, legitimate or otherwise, be prepared to explain yourself.

Red flag No. 3: You aren't prepared for the interview

There are many ways to be unprepared for an interview: You haven't researched the company, you don't have any questions prepared, you didn't bring a copy of your résumé, etc. Plain and simple, do your homework before an interview. Explore the company online, prepare answers to questions and have someone give you a mock interview. The more prepared you are, the more employers will take you seriously.

Red flag No. 4: You didn't provide any references

By omitting references in your application, employers could infer that you don't know anyone who has any positive things to say about you -- when in fact, you just forgot to provide them with people who can vouch for you. No references also shows employers that you aren't prepared for people to call them. Always make sure the hiring manager has at least one person to contact who can speak on your behalf.

Red flag No. 5: You only have negative things to say about previous employment

We know how tempting it is to want to tell anyone who will listen how much of a (insert expletive word here) your old boss was -- but a hiring manager for a coveted job is not that person.

There are hundreds of ways to turn negative things about an old job into positives. Thought your last job was a dead end? Spin it by saying, "I felt I had gone as far as I could go in that position. I'm looking for something with more opportunity for advancement." Couldn't get along with your co-workers? "I really need to work in an environment where I feel like I'm part of a team and my last position didn't allow for that kind of atmosphere."

Red flag No. 6: You've held seven different jobs -- in the past six months

Job hopping is a new trend in the working world. Workers are no longer staying in a job for 10-20 years; they stay for a couple and move on to the next one. While such a tactic can further your career, switching jobs too often will raise a prospective employer's antenna. Too many jobs in too little time tells employers that either you can't hold a job or you have no loyalty. Pick and choose the jobs you include on your résumé or prepare to explain yourself.

Red flag No. 7: You give inconsistent answers in your interview

One tactic hiring managers use during the hiring process is to ask you the same question in several different ways. This is mostly to ensure that you're genuine with your answers and not just telling an employer what he or she wants to hear. Keep your responses sincere throughout the entire process and you should be good to go.

Red flag No. 8: You lack flexibility

Most people know what they want in a job as far as benefits, compensation, time-off, etc. If you're unable to be flexible with some of your (unrealistic?) expectations, however, you're going to have a difficult time finding a job. Have a bottom line in terms of what you want before you start the hiring process and be willing to bend a bit if necessary.

Red flag No. 9: Your application was, in a word -- lazy

Only doing the bare minimum of what's asked of you won't get very far -- in life or in your job search. Applying to jobs with the same résumé and the same cover letter (or none at all) is pure laziness. If you won't spend extra time on yourself and your application materials, you sure as heck won't do it for a client.

Red flag No. 10: You lack objective or ambition

If you have no long-term goals, then you really have no short-term goals either. "Long-term goals may change, however you need to have some concept of where you want to go." Know where you want to go and how you plan to get there. Otherwise you seem unfocused and unmotivated, which are two big no-no's for an applicant.

Zupek, R. (2008) 10 Things that scream don’t hire me, Careerbuilder

Stop.........

Queen Sunshine — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 19:56:00 GMT

1.) You fear that he/she will leave you?

2.) You fear that he/she will cheat on you?

3.) You fear that you will be alone for the rest of your life?

4.) You fear that the person you like will not like you in return?

5.) You fear that you will be alone so you stay in a dysfunctional relationship?

6.) You fear that you will never marry?

If you keep fearing/worrying about all these things they will happen because you are manifesting the negative.

The best way to handle this is to manifest positive for example, I will marry one day.

Ok, these may sound very simple but they are not. The mind has a lot of power. The thoughts you think can easily work for you or against you.

Questions that Psychics are asked daily.....

Queen Sunshine — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 05:47:00 GMT

1.) When is he/she gonna call me? (caller)

A. If it's been 12 months or longer and there has been no communication than it's less likely you will hear from him/her.

2.) How can I get him/her to change? (caller)

A. You can't change another person. You can only change yourself. This is done by prayer, positive thinking and manisfestation.

3.) I've been praying, thinking positively and manifesting but nothing is happening? (caller)

A. Things are changing, you can't see them with your visible eyes. It's called the mystic law. Or what I like to call "Behind The Curtain." The Universe works at its own pace and things happen when they are meant and not when we want them too.

4.) How do I manifest? (caller)

A. Manifestation can be done by looking at a picture of something desired on a daily basis. For example: the purchase of a new car. Get a picture of the car. Place the picture somewhere you will see it daily. Close your eyes and experience what it would be like to drive that new car. Feel the happiness of riding family and friends around in the car.

5.) How do I know manifestation will work for me? (caller)

A. It will work as long as you practice it. It's called "The Law of Attraction." It worked for me and it will work for you too.

I will never suggest to a caller to do something that isn't logical, harmful or doesn't work. All my suggestions I have done and still do on a daily basis. I am an avid prayer. I am challenged daily just like everyone else. However, I know that prayer can and does change things. Faith is very important as it will be tested over and over. Without obstacles we don't grow and learn. Many people shy away from adversity not realizing that with change comes wisdom.