Relationship broken? Tools to repair it!

Training your Guy

Steven Craig — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 03:36:00 GMT

I overheard my wife once, telling a friend that Men are like puppies, and when they piddle on your carpet you just have to swat them on the nose.

I looked around to see if one of our teacup poodles had an accident and I was being blamed for it, until I realized she was speaking metaphorically. I confess it....I felt a sense of relief there for a moment. She went on to proclaim that most men have no clue what the 'rules' are in a new relationship and I wondered if most women expect that they just somehow have some recessive gene that would warn a man when he was getting too close to the yard's boundary.

Isn't it in a dog's nature to want to roam around and sniff out and explore the territory ? Your man doesn’t understand that you don't appreciate him taking a second look at other women who are walking on his sidewalk, and he learns this only after that first cold and lonely night in the doghouse. Confused, he’ll quickly learn that you don’t appreciate his roaming eye. So he might develop the art of peripheral vision, or figure out it's not worth another banishment to the couch and forget it all together.

My wife has developed the supreme art of communicating with 'looks' and 'hand signals'. Any dog worth his salt can spot 'the look' when they're dangerously close to breaking one of the 'rules'. We dogs...oops...men...learn quickly that we’re way too close to a mine field when we see “The Stare”. Words aren't necessary...the look says it all.

So when we men first enter into our new home, naturally we're curious and we manage to just get into about everything we're not supposed to and our nose gets pretty sore when we're smacked on it repeatedly for being bad.

You would think there would be a instruction manual we'd be required to read before we enter into a relationship. You know, like a Driver’s License manual when you're supposed to know all the rules to pass the test? But, nooooo, no such thing for we men. We're just expected to know what is and is not ok and to act accordingly.

Frankly, thinking about this, I don't know any of my male friends who just somehow knew these things, and we spent a lot of cold nights in banishment. There's nothing quite so depressing as being given a cold baloney sandwich for dinner instead of that steak you craved.

She also said that you have to be concrete with men. You can't use generalities with us. It requires drawing a map and marking X at where they expect us to end up on our training journey.

For you men reading this....ever experience this? Suddenly you realize halfway through the football game that it's awfully quiet in the room. Too quiet. She's not saying a word.

So you gingerly ask her, Is anything wrong?

What makes you think anything is wrong, she replies.

You think it's pretty obvious but you don't dare say that so you softly state (cause you know you're in dangerous territory and the newspaper is awfully close) You're not saying much.

Don't have much to say, says she.

Now experience has told you she always has alot to say but you're not about to say this either.

So the halftime show is over and you turn to the TV, only to hear a few minutes later....

Why should anything be wrong? You've been sitting there for two hours staring at the TV when you know we were supposed to go grocery shopping today.

Not being a stupid man you click off the TV and put a happy expression on your face like going to the store and fighting your way down the aisle past screaming children in grocery carts is the most exciting thing you could do in life and you just can't wait to go.

Too late.

No. You're watching your football game. You don't really want to go so I'll just go by myself. Terror freezes your heart because this is NOT going well for you and you realize you're in a no win situation, trapped by a NFL playoff game and you cannot, for the life of you, figure a way out of this. It's one of those damned if you do and more damned if you don't, moments.

Not being a stupid dog...ah, man...you use that one ace in the hole that might work...and hand her the credit card....Maybe you might like to stop at the mall and do some shopping while you're out? I know you prefer shopping by yourself...and you hold your breath...and hold it...waiting for it...

Well...if you insist, she says, as she smiles.

Suddenly you see sunshine and hear birds singing and realize you have been trained well, after all. It was just about at the two minute warning when you the thought suddenly hits you that maybe, just maybe, she might not have really wanted you to go grocery shopping in the first place. But being well trained...you quickly decide it doesn't matter anyway....you didn't piddle on the carpet after all.

And your team is in the playoffs. Life is good.

The 'moral' of this little story is to validate what women already know. We men tend to blunder through relationships without the first clue what direction we should be taking. Our Mothers didn't teach us. Our phys ed male Teacher didn't cover the subject either. So it's up to our SO to let us know where the boundaries are, what her expectations of us are and we'll try our best to learn the rules.

Try teaching your guy what your needs are. Don't expect that we'll just automatically know them. We won't. It'll make for less stress and anger for you and certainly fewer sore noses for us. Try sitting down and explaining to him today.

Honestly, you CAN teach an old dog new tricks!

For those who have asked, here's a link to listen to Global Transformations, a song I wrote and recorded. Enjoy. http://www.mystictor.net/globaltransformation.html

(Will not work in all browsers, try IE if yours won't play it)

A Christmas song for you.

Steven Craig — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 07:02:00 GMT

Hi,
During this magical season it is time to celebrate the Spirit of the Season by renewing your hopes and dreams. Now is the time to recapture those times when you had the faith of a child and believed that all things are possible, because my message to you is this.....they are.....just believe.
Happy Holidays!
Steve

Click here to listen to Steve's Christmas song for you.

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Past Lives

Steven Craig — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 01:35:00 GMT

You've experienced the feeling that you've lived before. Sometimes you even remember events that happened during that life, but are afraid to share that with others for fear they'll think you're unstable. You have even been to places and knew what was going to appear around the bend although you had not been there before.

We all have had many past lives, but not all impact our present life. Certain events or people impact our current life plan, made before we were born. We made this life plan with the help of a pre-life Master Planner.

We are constantly being tested in our current life so we can learn how to grow and advance until we achieve the highest karmic level. We have to experience many life events in order to learn how to overcome problems we keep repeating through several incarnations.

Often times people come into our lives to be a test for them. We might fall in love with someone, thinking they are the love of our lives, only to experience a breakup and their leaving us. It could be one of THEIR life tests.

In between lives all people belong to a Spirit group which is guided by our Spirit Guide.

The purpose of life is to learn to love ourselves as we would love someone else and to overcome our fears. We need to learn there are no guarantees in the choices we make. We must learn from all experiences, both good and bad, in order to form our Spirit into a more perfective state of being.

We must love others, definitely--treat others as we would like to be treated, but we must also treat ourselves the way that other people would like to be treated. We must learn to trust our intuition to guide our actions despite the opinions of others who think they know a better way. One of the biggest mistakes we make in life is to not listen to what we're being told by the voice of our own Spirit.

And although what I'm about to say will be controversial and perhaps will anger our Christian friends, could it be that Jesus did not die for our sins, but died for his own? I think dying on the cross was his last karmic debt. That is what life is all about--realizing, while alive, on a conscious level, how to let go of selfishness, and how to grow in self-love, and self-expression. That may seem like a contradiction, but the self-love of which I speak is a Spiritual love, not an ego-based emotion. We are all connected; to love ourselves is to love all.

Why your relationship didn’t work…….

Steven Craig — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 17:34:00 GMT

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Why your relationship didn’t work…….

(Or the one before that and the one before that....)

There really is something to the adage that 'too much of a good thing isn't good for you'.

So you're sitting there, waiting for the phone to ring...pacing over to the window and hoping for his car to drive up...then back to reading the email he sent saying it's over....and of course, more tears because you thought everything was wonderful and you're absolutely devastated that he broke up with you.

Breaking up can be as cataclysmic as the death of a loved one. Perhaps harder to bear because you know Death is final, but a breakup still offers hope that he'll change his mind, or you can change it for him, and he'll return.

You don't know what you've done wrong. You've had other failed relationships and you gave them all your time and attention, texting several times a day to let them know you were thinking about them, sending them cute Hallmark cards, buying gifts that had meaning for you both. .

Let's start, for example, with your favorite flavor of Starbucks coffee, the Christmas Blend, that’s only sold during the Holidays. People wait impatiently for that notice to go up on the Starbucks website, or drive the baristas crazy asking 'when are they putting it out for sale?" Finally, the day comes and you put in your order. You savor it, love that cup of coffee and probably spend a small fortune on it during December.

Now let's say they decide to put that blend out all year round. You love it, so at first you drink it every day. But before long it doesn't taste as good and eventually you stop buying it.

It's the same with a relationship. At first blush, it's exciting to get the response text, email and phone call. You live for those moments.

Pretty soon though, you begin to notice he texts and calls less.

That's the first red flag.

At that point the message he’s sending you is, 'We're going too fast, it's becoming irritating, and it’s not fun anymore. If you backed off at that point and let him take the lead, what you'd find is that his communications would have more substance and quality.

Then, he responds to the latest gift by saying something like, “You really shouldn't have." Translate that to mean you REALLY shouldn't have. He's beginning to feel uncomfortable with all the gifts, the attention and the time it's taking out of his daily routine to respond, and his feelings are turning from excitement to irritation and stress.

Before long he only contacts you infrequently and you begin to push him for a reason. Your anxiety only makes you try harder to get him to respond.

Then comes the dreaded message...."It's over. I'm moving on and suggest you do the same."

Your life is suddenly in pieces. You can't even breathe normally for your anxiety. Your physical wellbeing is affected; you can't sleep, eat or function normally at work.

But most of all, you can't understand WHY.

And it's happened before...several times.

If you rush headlong into a relationship, devoting all of your time to trying to make it work, it’s like overwatering your garden. You're going to drown the tomatoes. Everything needs to be done in a calm and measured way. Force-feeding will kill your relationship.

We live in such a fast paced society we rush, rush, rush to and feel we need to do the same with our relationships. When we want something, we want it NOW.

The truth is, we're smothering it.

I've had literally hundreds of calls from Clients in tears, saying they've done everything for the other person and don't know why it didn't work. Usually it turns out that they HAVE done everything – except practice restraint. My advice is to look at how you're acting in the relationship....Are you contacting him more than once a day? Are you disappointed and scared if your expectation of an immediate response isn’t met?

You don’t want the guy to feel as if he’s being pursued, because from a male point of view there's a fine line between that and being stalked.

Let him be the one to initiate contact, especially in the beginning. Don't try to monopolize his time, and then instill guilt if he fails to meet your expectations. And most of all don't make the mistake of contacting the guy at work. Most women don't realize that many men have a role playing persona in their job and they try to maintain that energy all day at work. Calling them makes them drop that persona to respond to you and for many men that's very irritating and troublesome.

Try to sit down and consider some of the things in this blog and if they apply to you, remember that its quality you want in a relationship, not quantity. Like that special flavor, savor it and don't overdo it.

Brekah's Dream

Steven Craig — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 04:18:00 GMT

Click here to listen to Steve's latest instrumental for meditation called Brekah's Dream.

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If you're having trouble opening up the link to listen to the music please keen mail me and I'll send the MP3 format to you.

Vision Quest

Steven Craig — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 00:23:00 GMT

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VISION QUEST

When we lived in South Dakota, well, a lot of interesting things happened. One of them started with a series of dreams I had. Now, my wife and I are fortunate enough to count a number of Medicine Men among our friends. So, off I went and described these dreams to three different Medicine Men at three different times.

The answers went like this:
Medicine Man number 1: “They want you to go out on the hill”.
Medicine Man number 2: “They want you to go out on the hill”.
Medicine Man number 3: “They want you to go out on the hill”.

Being a fairly intelligent guy, I concluded that – the Spirits wanted me to go out on the hill. In other words, to go on a Vision Quest. So I did. There’s a lot of preparation for a Vision Quest. You don’t just go traipsing out to the top of a hill and wait for the Spirits to give you something. Also, although a lot of people are eager to do this – you never know what the Spirits have in store for you, or if they’ll give you anything at all. Or if they’ll give you something you don’t want. I’ve heard stories of men who have gone on Vision Quests all their lives and never seen or heard anything out of the ordinary. Anyway, Ceremonies with real Spiritual Power need to be approached with caution – and above all, respect. Believe me, these Ceremonies are powerful. My Vision Quest took place at Bear Butte South Dakota. While technically it’s a National Park, The Lakota and Cheyenne Nations have permission from the Government – as if they should need it! – To make use of this ancient and Sacred Mountain for Spiritual Purposes.

Somewhere on the side of the hill, a small area is marked out and surrounded by strings of tobacco ties in the four Sacred colors. The area is left open until the Questor enters and is then closed behind him. Nothing is taken into the Sacred Space but a Star Quilt and, if the person carries one, a Sacred Pipe. A Vision Quest normally lasts one, two, three or four nights. No food or water is taken during the quest. The hard part is the lack of water, because within a few hours your stomach stops complaining about the lack of food. The idea is to enter a Sacred Space, to disconnect completely from the everyday world and enter into communion with the Great Mystery. As I was being led into my Circle, I heard a noise that's hard to describe - kind of a whooshing hum. I glanced down the hill to the camp, and saw a solid ball of blue light whizzing at high speed through the camp - practically dancing. I suppose it would have been 5 or 6 feet in diameter if anyone had been able to measure it. As I watched, it came up the hill and whizzed by me, within a few inches of my head. It continued up the side of the hill past other Questors and disappeared into the night sky. The Medicine Man just chuckled and said "Yeah, that happens all the time" and continued closing the circle of tobacco ties around me as if nothing extraordinary had happened. From his point of view, I suppose nothing had.

Meanwhile, down in the camp (as I found out later), my wife and son, having witnessed this event, also witnessed another amazing occurrence -hundreds of tiny flashing bright lights chasing each other up and down the trunk of a tree in a spiral, as if they were playing tag. Everyone they mentioned this to simply nodded as if it were absolutely normal.

Meanwhile, I was praying for a Vision. A Vision is a very personal and private thing, so I'm not going to go into detail about it. Suffice it to say that, in the Sweatlodge after they brought me down, the Spirits told the Medicine Man to tell me "Your Dream is true". In the Lakota language, the words for “dream” and “vision” are the same. Mitakuye Oyasin.

Hope Vs. Expectations

Steven Craig — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 00:31:00 GMT

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Hope vs. Expectations

Whether it’s about love or money, we all, at some time in our lives, want things to get better. Hope is a wonderful thing. When life seems to be the pits, hope gets us out of bed in the morning. Hope doesn’t have boundaries or limits. Hope is the electrical current that powers life, especially in dark times. Hope is light.

Expectations mean we want something, and we want it NOW. Expectations keep us enslaved to the clock and the calendar, because we want to know WHEN things will get better. Becoming locked in to expectations makes us crazy. Time is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. We keep expecting and keep being disappointed. The answer is to learn how to live in the moment – because the moment is all we have. Trust that in some way our highest good will be served, and that we don’t have to try to control it. If we narrow our expectations, we actually close the door to wonderful things that we couldn’t possibly expect, that will happen in ways we can’t imagine. Open your heart, and open your mind. Don’t run after life – let it come to you. Hope is Light; expectation is Darkness. Which would you rather be the center of your life? Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Instead of thinking, become aware. Hear the sounds around you; feel the sensations in your body. Observe the thoughts arising and disappearing in your mind. If you do this for a few minutes a day and just make it a part of your life, you will learn, without even trying, to live in the moment – to be aware. This will eventually free you from the chains of time, and bring you peace. Is it really that simple? Try it and find out.

Soulmates II

Steven Craig — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 23:09:00 GMT

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Soulmates.

It's a term we hear a lot, but what does it actually mean? Well, it depends on who you ask. Some people seem to believe that out of billions of people on the planet, there's only one - THE one - that you're meant to be with. I don't subscribe to this idea. I DO believe that we have what you might call a life -plan, but I do NOT believe that plan to be unalterable. What good would it do to be here at all if we didn't posess the power to change or alter our lives? There are options out there, folks. THE one is the one you end up with.

For now we're just going to talk about romantic Soulmates - there are other types, but we'll leave that for a later discussion.

Relationships are like a dance. Some dances are just a couple of turns around the floor, and then you change partners. Others are longer and more complex. Sometimes you change partners and then change back to the former partner. In some way shape or form relationships are all "meant to be", but they are not all meant to be forever.

All of the relationships we have go into our relationship experience bucket. Hopefully from these experiences we learn what we DO want and, more importantly, what we don't - in a relationship. This will help us to grow and mature, and lead us to the lasting connection we all look for - the Soulmate connection. However, if we do NOT learn, and do NOT grow, and keep repeating the same mistakes, making the same poor choices, instead of lasting love, all we find is misery. I think eventually most of us figure out that hitting yourself in the head with a hammer over and over again only feels good when you stop.

Soulmate connections also have a Karmic aspect. That is, the two people in question know each other outside the bounds of a single incarnation. Call it a Spiritual connection. When Soulmates meet, there is often an instantaneous sense of recognition – as if you already KNOW this person. Then the rational mind kicks in and says “No, that’s impossible, we’ve never met before”. Often getting this type of relationship off the ground is quite a struggle – it’s not all rainbows and balloons as some people expect. Even when this Karmic connection exists, it’s not a guarantee that the relationship will last forever. It may be that there are just a few turns on the floor, even when such a powerful connection is present. Instead of Hoping it will last and fearing that it won’t, learn to cherish each moment you have together. Live it fully. Accept the good instead of fearing the bad. If you don’t, you’ll be robbing yourself of love, of light, and of a true present.

Mediumship

Steven Craig — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 23:00:00 GMT

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MEDIUMSHIP

Mediumship, or channeling, is about connecting those who have gone on, crossed over into Spirit with those who are still here in the physical world. It can also be about connecting two living souls, channeling information from one to the other.

There are different types of Mediumship. Some Mediums actually see Spirits and hear them as if they were physically present. Others see and hear them as mental images. It’s also possible for some to combine the two.

Now Spirits don’t appear “on demand”. Sometimes they come, and sometimes they don’t. I like to say that there really IS “Life after death” – in other words, they’re not just hanging around out there in the ether waiting for someone on this side to contact them. They have things to do. When they do come through, they don’t always answer specific questions. You won’t always get an answer to “Where did Aunt Sadie leave her will?” These types of issues become unimportant when someone has crossed. What are important from their point of view are life itself, and the lessons their loved ones are learning. Sometimes they’re able to manifest without the intervention of a Medium – playing with electronics, turning computers or lights on or off. Other times they can manifest as the feeling of a loving presence when someone in the family is feeling particularly down or distressed.

A Medium is able to raise her or his energy to a certain degree, and the Spirit who is coming through lowers their energy – they meet in the middle. The quality of the communication depends on the ability of the Medium. Sometimes the messages are very clear, and sometimes they’re not. We have no control over this, it’s a function of how clear or “muddy” the channel is at any given time. For instance, a Spirit coming through might show the number 3, and transmit a “feeling” of siblings. The medium would interpret this to mean that either the Spirit or the person the spirit is communicating with through the Medium has or had 3 siblings. Why don’t they just say “I had three siblings”? Again, it depends on the clarity of the channel. Sometimes they do.

Skeptics sometimes say that if Aunt Sadie Hunter was really coming through, she’d just say, “Hi, I’m your Aunt Sadie Hunter!” What I say is, we’re communicating across worlds here, not just from across the street. It’s a difficult and demanding process.

What do Spirits Look Like?

Steven Craig — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 22:49:00 GMT

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What do Spirits look like?

Sometimes, they look like you and me.

A few years back my wife and I had just returned home from a Ceremony on the Reservation. It was about 2:00AM. We had barely turned into the driveway and gotten out of the car when we noticed a man standing on the sidewalk. We should have seen him when we pulled in – but we didn’t. As we got out of the car my wife looked at me, I looked at her, and we both looked at him. He smiled and said, “Good Evening”. We said “Good Evening” back. The man asked how we were and we informed him we’d just returned from a Ceremony. He said “That’s good, that’s good”. We turned around for about one second to close our car doors, turned back…..and he was gone. I walked down to the end of the driveway, not more than six or seven feet, and looked up and down the street. Nothing, no one. It had been snowing, and there were no footprints. We could see about half a mile both ways and there was simply nobody there. So Spirits can sometimes appear as solid and real as anyone. Other times, they can look like mist, kind of a moving – and occasionally sparkly - mist. I’ve also seen them looking like an actual person, except transparent. They also appear as pinpoints of flashing light, or as orbs of light. These lights appear in different colors. I’ve seen primarily white and a very light blue.

Of course, Spirits are not always human Spirits. Another night that same winter, and again when returning from Ceremony, as we approached the steps leading to our home, we noticed deer prints in the snow. This wasn’t unusual, as this was the Black Hills of South Dakota and deer were everywhere. This particular set of prints however, led right up the steps and to the door. Something didn’t look right, but it took me a moment to figure out what. It was this: There were no hoof prints leading back away from the door. They just led to the door – and stopped, as if the deer had walked right through the door. How do Spirits act? What do they do?

They let us know they’re around in a variety of ways. Unexplained knockings or rappings; lights or other electronics going on and off; objects moving by themselves, unexpected cold drafts. Sometimes Spirits will let their presence be known through smell. A favorite perfume or the scent of a particular flower they loved in life. These things seem to happen especially within three days of a person’s passing. I’m not sure why that is; three days seems to be some type of transition period.

Spirits can also appear to us in dreams, and these are generally very vivid dreams that will be remembered on waking, or can be so intense that they wake us up. Why do they come to us?

Because love never dies. The ties that bind us in life survive the death of the body. They also want us to know that death is not the end.

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
Hamlet to Horatio
Hamlet Act 1. Scene V

Love and Fear

Steven Craig — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 22:34:00 GMT

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Love and Fear: Why do so many men fear love?

It’s really a contradiction. Love and fear are opposites. Not love and hate – hate comes from fear. So, why do men fear love?

In a lot of ancient cultures, love is characterized as a God, or a Goddess. Why? Because nobody can control it. When you’ve got it, you’re stuck with it. Like the flu. But there’s our answer right there – control. Now, nobody sits a young boy down and gives him a speech about how he’s supposed to be in control because he’s a man. But that’s the message men get. Emotion is for women. Maintain control at all costs. Well, love makes you feel out of control. So it conflicts with the programming. That’s the primary reason men are afraid of love. A second reason is that love plays hell with your emotions. Men aren’t raised with emotion or given the knowledge, insight and benefit of the experience of older and wiser men. Women on the other hand, generally are provided with all of these things – women have no problem discussing their feelings with each other, and are given the benefit of the experience of those who are older and wiser than themselves. This seems to be a cross-cultural phenomenon, so I really can’t “blame” any particular race, religion or philosophy. Popular wisdom has it that “Men are mental, women are emotional”, which is really an oversimplification. Men do have emotions, but are discouraged from showing them, and from letting their emotions control their actions. Love is one of the strongest emotions going – so of course it’s going to conflict with the male imperative to “stay in control”. There are many men who are comfortable splashing around in the shallow waters of meaningless relationships, because they don’t conflict with the programming. A relationship that actually engages a man’s emotions – well, that’s a challenge, and a scary one at that. In fact it’s so scary that a man may actually be in love for quite some time before the realization hits him - usually like a ton of bricks. So suddenly there’s this huge, formless force bearing down on him, and this initiates the fight-or-flight response. There’s a lot of individual variation as to how strongly this reaction sets in; but set in it does.

Fear is something that’s managed, not overcome. The fight-or-flight response is sometimes called the fight-or-flight-or-freeze response. Think “Deer in the headlights”. That’s the “freeze” option. Moving in spite of the fear is managing the fear. For instance, if a man is fearful of love, he tells himself to move forward with the relationship in spite of the fact that it scares him. The love outweighs the fear. Eventually, when the sky fails to fall, the fear gradually disappears. You can’t hang around waiting for the fear to magically go away – it has to be challenged. The flight or freeze options are dropped in favor of the “fight” option – and what he’s fighting is the fear.

Part 2 The man cave

When a man is overwhelmed by emotion, he will quite often disappear from the radar. That’s because he’s instinctively feeling the need to withdraw from the fray in order to elicit a calming antidote to the stress of the relationship. He may go fishing, he may go out to a bar with his buddies to “blow off steam”, and he may just sit in front of the TV and watch some mindless sitcom. These actions take the pressure off and renew his ability to cope. If we use an analogy here, you might say that when it comes to dealing with emotion, men have a coffee cup to fill, while women have an Olympic sized swimming pool. Once the coffee cup is full, it’s full, and has to be absorbed into a man’s life experience before he can go back for more. Women often say to me, “Everything was great – we were communicating regularly, spending time together, nothing bad happened – so why did he drop off the planet?” The answer is, “So he can process”.

The length of time a man spends in his cave varies considerably. Some guys have it down to hours, some need days, and some need more. This tends to put a woman in a place where she’s left thinking that the guy doesn’t care, he’s lost interest, there’s another woman, etc. The more time that goes by, the more likely she is to become convince that the guy’s just gone – until he suddenly emerges from the underbrush acting like everything’s just fine.

So he’s processing – why does that mean that he can’t just pick up the phone and say “Hey, everything’s fine, I’m still alive”? Because it interrupts the process. And also because there’s probably not a man on the planet who believes there’s such a thing as a “short” call with a woman. There’s a conviction that “Hey I’m ok, we’re ok” will be answered with “Then how come I’m not hearing from you?” and that a “heavy” talk will ensue. When a man’s processing, that’s the last thing he wants.

Processing information about relationships for a man is largely subconscious. Keep the conscious mind otherwise occupied, and the subconscious takes care of the rest. Women on the other hand tend to process life and live it at the same time – in a sense, multitasking. That just makes it more difficult for a woman to understand why something that comes so naturally to them seems to be impossible – or at least very difficult – for a man. If there’s an answer here for a woman, it’s simply this: patience.

What are little Boys made of?

Steven Craig — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 00:42:00 GMT

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The Sky is Falling and the Mud Puddle People

Steven Craig — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 20:17:00 GMT

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Soulmates

Steven Craig — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 01:13:00 GMT

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A Song In Your Heart for Valentine's Day

Steven Craig — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 02:01:00 GMT

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