"Grandma Hugs"

Dear Grandma Question Thurs. 1/31/08

GrandpaSage — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 20:42:00 GMT

Dear Grandma,

Why do we get so bogged down in what other people see in us and say about us and how they treat us that we forget who we are and we begin to believe that we are not good enough to have all the things that we deserve to have as one of God's beloved children?

Thank you, Bogged

Dear Bogged,

I think the main reason is that we CARE, possibly too much. We want to do things to please others and in doing so forget about pleasing ourselves. We lose focus on what we want out of life. We want people to like us because we like people.

It is an awful thing to say, but I have found over the years that alot of people are basically cruel starting with childhood. The bullys pick on those they feel are weak or different. They get enjoyment out of hurting people. They will never get bogged down because they don't care about others except for their own enjoyment or amusement.

Alot of the "successful" people in the business world will never get bogged down because they are often ruthless. They don't care what others think or feel, just use them to line their own pockets. They can't afford to let what people think about them bother them.

I think it is the caring people that find this happening to them the most.

You have to find some balance between caring and caring too much. Don't lose yourself in others problems, keep an objective outlook at all times. Help, but don't let them overwhelm you to where you ignore your own problems. Give yourself the same care and love that you bestow on others. If you don't love yourself or respect yourself you can't expect anyone else to.

A good example of getting bogged down and loosing your identity is in a relationship. The person cared about you, because you were you. You showed him a person he admired. As you feel him pulling away, you do more to please him forgetting about your own pleasure. When he says jump you say how high? Pretty soon you are not you any more but a mirror of what you think he wants, which isn't generally the case. You have lost your own identity and the very thing that attracted him to you to begin with. It happens every day.

How do you stop it? You start by being you, caring about you and what you enjoy and like. Not on a selfish level but just everyday things. Take time to enjoy at least one thing each day that means alot to you. Let him join you. If he doesn't want to, say " see you later, after I finish doing this what would you like to do?" Do things to please yourself. If you please yourself it will please those that like you.

There is a happy medium. Be caring of others and always sensitive to their feelings but care about yourself first. I think you will find that you can achieve the things you feel that you are loosing by being bogged down by their opinion if you focus more on your own wants and needs as well as theirs. But YOU first.

Big grandma hugs, GrandmaSage

Dear Grandma Question Wed. 9/30/08

GrandpaSage — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:57:00 GMT

Hi Grandma Sage -

I was wondering if you can shed some light into this. I have been told for years now that I would come into a lot of cash through game of chance. No telling if this might be lottery or casino.

Is there any way you can verify this? I was told this would happen after 2 to 2 1/2 years which would be around now.

Not that I am a disbeliever (I did watch the movie "The Secret" yet this would be perfect timing, since our existence has become unpredictable.

Thanks

Believer

Dear Believer,

Since you are asking about a game of chance, pure luck it makes it more difficult to verify.

I ran a quick spread on the cards and they did show money in your life in an abundant amount but it also showed the building of a foundation to acquire it. I also showed a good omen coming your way so I would say y ou will be lucky, whether it is luck that you have built yourself through your endeavors, being at the right place at the right time, taking advantage of opportunities put before you, taking chances and calculated risks, or a combination of all the above I cannot be sure.

Only one thing is for certain, you have to play to be able to win... teeheeee.

Hugs, GrandmaSage

Dear Grandma Question Tues. 1/29/08

GrandpaSage — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 14:06:00 GMT

Dear GrandmaSage,

"I got a reading where the outcome was something that didn't make me happy. Do you think there is a way to change the outcome or do you think I just need to find a way of dealing with what I was told would be coming?" Not Happy

Dear Not Happy,

I think your concern is one that is very widespread with all of us. Not every reading is going to have the outcome that you desire and hope for. To me, a reading is to guide you, to point out things you can expect to occur. We are not God and we cannot make things happen for you, this you have to do for yourself.

Some things we can change, some are not changeable. I think you need to look at the guidance the reading was giving you, as well as the outcome, maybe even call the advisor back that you got the reading from and ask specific questions on what they said was coming and how to make those things work for you.

I would suggest you make a list of the pros and cons of the situation. If the cons outweigh the pros look at them and make another list with the ones you can change by effort and the ones you cannot change at all. If the ones you can change outweigh the ones you cannot start working on them. If you find that the things that are totally out of your control to change at all outweigh the others, then I think you should consider the outcome you are not happy with, and move on to another aspect of your life.

Grandma hugs, GrandmaSage

Dear Grandma Question Monday 1/28/08

GrandpaSage — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Dear Grandma Sage,

Why do callers think it's ok to hang up on you when you don't give them the answer they want? Anonymous Advisor

Dear AA,

That is a very disturbing question.

I have been fortunate not to have anyone do that that very often, though it has happened to me. I would think it is because the caller wants hope and if the answer you give them contains no hope, they are so upset they cannot talk. Not every answer is going to be the one the caller is hoping for but if you can point out ways to help them achieve what they are seeking I have found most of them will listen and want to know.

I would say it is the way that the answer is presented to them, or they are very rude, or just too upset to talk.

Hugs, GrandmaSage

I would love to have some input here from callers.

If you have a question you would like to have answered here please email me at Keen.

Thanks, GS

Dear Grandma Question Sat. 1/27/98

GrandpaSage — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 14:26:00 GMT

Dear GrandmaSage , I spoke to you on the phone regarding my ex.I emailed him regarding a few things...and he still doesn't want to be back with me. I was debating emailing him again...he emailed me last and I didn't respond yet. Thanks, Debating

Dear Debating,

It is always devestating to hear he does not want to go back with you.

My gut feeling is this is a temporary situation. Unless there is any time sensitive material you need to answer, I would hold off emailing him as long as you can. Let him have some time to think about you and wonder why you are not answering him. Let him realize he misses you. I feel waiting till he emails you again, wondering, would do a world of good.

Big hugs, Grandma Sage

If you have a question you would like to have answered here please email me at Keen. Thanks, GrandmaSage

Dear Grandma Fri. 1/28/08 Question

GrandpaSage — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 21:59:00 GMT

Dear Grandma Sage!

Thanks for this opportunity to ask you a question. I own a home cleaning business (over 20 years) with with 18 steady clients.I only have a problem with one couple. There's always something missing at their house and they look at me as if I STOLE it. Grandma Sage I don't steal and I have NO idea where their stuff is or why stuff is constantly turning up missing. This is just a man and wife, no children. What should I do, continue to work for them or just say I can't work for someone that accuses me of being a thief??

Thank you for your thoughts!,,,,Falsely Accused

Dear Falsely Accused,

I don't believe that you need to feel insecure and maligned. It appears that your business is steady and good and that you can get along without them.

Perhaps one of your other happy customers could refer someone else to you to take their place if dropping them would be a financial hardship.

I truly feel that you should drop them. No one needs to feel someone thinks they are doing something they are not. The peace of mind you will get should more than make up for the temporary drop in income.

I wish you many more successful years with your business.

Big grandma hugs, GrandmaSage

If you have any questions you would like to ask me and have me answer on the blog please email them to me at Keen. I will take them in the order that I receive them. You will remain anonymous. I will do a question each day unless I don't receive any. I would love to hear from you. Thanks and hugs, GrandmaSage

Relationship--- A much misunderstood word

GrandpaSage — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 17:59:00 GMT

Time changes all things including how we use a word.

Today most people think that relationship is synonymous with love affair or a commitment between 2 people as the primary meaning of the term.

Being an "ancient" and having been educated many moons ago, I learned the word meaning any interaction between 2 or more people, or things.

Looking the term up in the dictionary I found both definitions to be correct. The romantic connotation being the last one mentioned. I wonder if that could be because the word was "coined" in 1741.

relationship

Main Entry: re·la·tion·ship Function: noun Date: 1741

1: the state of being related or interrelated <studied the relationship between the variables>2: the relation connecting or binding participants in a relationship: as a: kinship b: a specific instance or type of kinship3 a: a state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings <had a good relationship with his family> b: a romantic or passionate attachment

My personal feeling is you have a relationship with anyone you come into contact with. It can be brief or long lasting. It can be pleasant or unpleasant but as long as you are interacting with someone you are having a relationship.

I have had callers tell me " we are not in a relationship". Oh, but you are. It may not be a romantic relationship or a committed relationship but it could be a friendly relationship or a casual relationship. It is definately there.

I find it interesting how communication can get garbled or how feelings can get hurt, and mis understandings arise because different people look at the same word or term in totally different ways.

I hope that you will stop and think if someone says something that hurts your feelings or you think you misunderstand, is there more than one meaning to this word or phrase? You might feel yourself perceiving things better and be a happier person.

Here is to a good " relationship" with all those you care about...

Grandma hugs, GrandmaSage

You never know where you will meet someone

GrandpaSage — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 15:12:00 GMT

This is a true story as told to me by one of my clients and printed here with her permission. I have changed the names and geographical locations to preserve her anonymity

"I went to New York state with my supervisor to check out the language institute at a local college. We stayed at a place called the Sea View Inn. The clam chowder on the first night was superb! The second night when I went to the dining room, they said that they were out of clam chowder, which, left me quite perplexed because it wasn't even close to closing time! So, after my dinner, I wrote on the comment sheet that I thought it was strange that there was no clam chowder. I also left my name and phone number.

The next night when I went in, I stopped the really cute chef that I had seen earlier and asked him if they had clam chowder tonight. He said, "Oh, was that you who wrote the comment?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Oh. I must apologize. We only had one bowl left and I told the waitress that I was going to eat it instead of her trying to sell it to someone. So, I ate it."

My supervisor and I were laughing at how honest he was. He then proceeded to call the waitress over and tell her that he was going to give me a bowl of clam chowder on the house. While we waited, I asked him where he was from and he told me that his parents were from Lebanon, but that he and his parents had been in New York State for 20 years. I began to speak Arabic to him and he was very struck.

He came out to check on us and I asked him if he ever prepared any Middle Eastern dishes there at the restaurant. He said, "When's the next time that you're going to be here?" I said, "Well, I 'm from Virginia, so.....no time soon. He says, "Well, do you drive?" (GSM, I thought this was a rather "random" question). I said, "Yes." He said, "Well, I'm going to leave my number with you. Let me know when you're coming and I"ll prepare a special dish for you." He then said, "I'm thinking about moving to NC." I then said, "Oh, me too! But don't tell my boss!"

So, later on after my meal, I decided to go check my e-mail. After about 5 minutes of me being in the computer room, he came and talked to me. He asked me how far NC was from VA and said that maybe when he got to NC, he could look me up. So, I gave him my phone number and e-mail address. Earlier, I was wondering if he had given me his work phone number or cell and he told me that it was......HIS CELL. Wow. By the way, he also told me that he would like to take me to this very nice restaurant next time I came because the food there is just awesome. GSM, I think you're very, very right about the trusting part. He kinda reminds me of myself. I gave him my first and last name AND email address!

It would be nice to have a new friend......Anna"

I did a reading on this meeting and it appears that it is the start of a long and lasting friendship and who knows what else as time goes on.

For those of you out there that feel you never meet anyone, buck up, you never know when, where, or how it will happen.

Anyone having an interesting or unusual meeting I invite you to share it with the rest of us. Please post it in the comments section... We are all eyes!!!!!!

Game Playing? Come on Lets play

GrandpaSage — Tue, 22 May 2007 15:00:00 GMT

Ms A and Mr B have been dating for several months, enjoying each other's company, doing diversified things, talking on the phone or seeing each other almost every day. All of a sudden Mr. B stops calling. Ms. A is devastated. She calls him and he doesn't take the call. She texts him to no avail. After a few days of total silence from Mr. B, Mr. X asks her out. She thinks, Oh good, maybe Mr. B will find out and it will make him call me. She tells all her friends about it hoping it will get back to Mr. B. She accepts the date. Is she playing a game?

Ms C and Mr D have also been dating for a while, developing a relationship and feeling quite bonded to each other. The same thing happens Mr. D fails to communicate for a few days. Ms C is worried and does try to call once but to no avail. Mr. Y asks her out, she is concerned about accepting because she does not want to hurt Mr D who she still believes does care for her but has other priorities right now. She thinks about it, doesn't feel it is healthy to sit around and mope about Mr D and finally accepts. Is she playing a game?

I will be curious to see your reactions to the 2 scenarios and what you feel the emotional impact will be on all the parties...

Thanks for playing....GrandmaSage

Advertisers Please Keep Grubby Paws off my Blog

GrandpaSage — Mon, 14 May 2007 23:19:00 GMT

Mystic meowing today...

Every day I have come to check the comments on the blog and there have been others advertising their services. I find this rude and intrusive. In removing the offensive material I inadvertently deleted good comments from others. True, that is probably my fault in not knowing exactly how to work evreything, and I do appologize, BUT it would not have occurred if others were not advertising here.

If you have horoscopes to offer or whatever else comes into your greedy brain please start your own blog and keep away from mine.

I have been known to hisssss quite loudly and my claws are sharp. Actually I am just a pussycat and would prefer to purr....

Purrs Mystic

Procrastination, Bane or Blessing?

GrandpaSage — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:05:00 GMT

Procrastination is something we are all guilty of from time to time, I know I sure am. Writing a blog is a good example (teeheee).

I want to thank everyone that participated in sending me ideas for blogs, I truly appreciate it and I got alot of wonderful suggestions. I thought the suggestion on procrastination was appropos at this time.

You hear people joke about "never do today what you can put off until tomorrow". In that scenario procrastination is usually a detriment in several ways. You think about the task you need to do and it worries you, and then when tomorrow comes you still have to face it. You can miss out on many opportunities that are time sensitive, then you berate yourself for not doing it. You get "caught with your pants down" becaue you weren't expecting company and here they are staring at the dirty house you put off cleaning unitl tomorrow. You hurt someone's feelings because you put off doing something for them you said you would do and they are disappointed. The list could go on and on.

On the other hand, you may put off doing something because you have a "gut feeling" this is not the time. Sure enough a better opportunity comes available that you would have missed had you not procrastinated. You need to go to the store and buy something, but you just don't feel like going. The next day you see in the paper that the store is starting their 1/2 off sale on that item that day. You want to call someone, you hesitate wondering if they really want to hear from you or if you will be bothering them so you don't make the call. A little while later the phone rings and the person is on the other end, making you feel good because they called you.

Procrastination is often caused by apprehension or fear of jumping into something new, or it is caused by just plain laziness. Sometimes it is that "feeling" that the time is just not right. The reason you procrastinate could be the answer to whetehr it is a bane or a blessing.

How Loud Should You Blow?

GrandpaSage — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 19:05:00 GMT

Whistle blowers (tattle tales) are something that can effect every part of our lives, our homes, our work, our social life.

At certain times we have probably all had the urge to "blow the whistle" on someone, even if it just the neighbor next door who's music won't allow you to sleep. Perhaps it is someone at work you feel is harrassing you and not allowing you to properly do your job.

Maybe you see your best friend's spouse with someone else and think how unfair it is. There are many reasons that tempt us to tell, some very serious that can affect or financial well being or our family's happiness to a great extent.

In the heat of the moment we may not stop to realize the retaliation that can come from "whistle blowing". I have known people that have created an atmosphere far more uncomfortable, detrimental, and yes, even life threatening because they felt they were "doing the right thing"

I would like to get your comments, experiences and view points on this most contreversal of subjects.

When You Are Away

GrandpaSage — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 14:41:00 GMT

I am an animal lover and during my life time I have had all types of pets from farm animals to gold fish. I love them all but my very favorite are kitties.

My kitty Troubie wrote this poem (through me of course) several years ago and I feel that it really shows how separation is hard on your beloved pets with the correlation of the length of their life to ours.

WHEN YOU ARE AWAY

You go to the store, say "back in a few"

Minutes that is,that's what it is for you

I sit and I wait for you so eagerly

10 minutes for you is over an hour for me.

In the morning you go to work each day

I sleep I eat and sometimes I play

I stand by the door to hear your voice speak

It's been a day since you've seen me,

To me, it's a week.

You have a long weekend, you go visit friends

Your days pass quickly, my month never ends

All I want is to be with you, to have you near

For you to hold and pet me, to call me your dear

Now you are off on vacation, gone a month or more

I get food and water from the neighbors next door.

They try to be friendly and bring me some cheer,

But I'll be without you, for almost a year

Mommy oh mommy, please don't go away

My life is so short, let me enjoy every day.

by Troubie

Even old "cats" can learn new tricks

GrandpaSage — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 17:15:00 GMT

Blogging here on Keen is a new and exciting experience for me, one I hope that I can share with many friends I have met and the new friends I hope to meet.

You also, can learn new things every day. Things that will enrich your life for years to come, or maybe just for the moment. Reach out for learning in every experience you have good or bad.

Sometimes the most painful experiences and situations are the ones you learn the most from. When you can look back on an unpleasant or hurtful experience and gain knowledge from that experience you will gain power over your emotions.

Learning will help bring you enlightenment and peace. Remember you are never too old to learn.

Purrs & Hugs... Grandma Sage and Mystic