Boundaries

Spamorama............

2008-07-19T11:51:00Z

Gosh, I never realized that I was SOOOOO lucky...

I got an email from a princess trying to give me money....imagine that? I appear to be getting money from Several diplomats, I feel so special, I mean according to my spam box, I am getting money from Nigeria, malaysia, the U.K., the Phillipines, Several locations in China not to forget New Zealand. I just cannot wait for it all to start pouring in.........

I also got an email from Bank OF America, informing me that my account was suspended, they wanted me to give them my personal information to help me out in un suspending my account :-) .......Now that would have been REAL HELPFUL if I HAD a Bank Of America account........

I suspect the last time that princess saw a princess, it was in a Disney movie...

And as for these diplomats? I am suspect...... how stupid do these people think we are?

I don't know what kind of world we are living in when there are people who sit at a computer all day, in various locations all around the globe trying to think of ways to part you and your hard earned money........I usually respond with an email that tells them I am sure their mother is proud of their trying to scam people out of money....

Joan

Timing is ..........

2008-07-18T14:26:00Z

Not an exact science, it never was and never will be. And as for that *Free Will* ? It seems to annoy some callers as if it was used as an excuse by their reader for a man/woman NOT calling, a man/woman NOT commiting, a choice that someone we care for makes that we ourselves personally do not care for...

We ALL have free will, and SURE it's hurtful when that free will is exercised by another and the choice they make is not one we wanted them to make, did not meet our expectations, however if *WE* want to have our own *free will* to make our own choices, choose our own path and relationship partners, then surely we need to understand that others also have that same right :-)

*Free Will* is not a cop out, it's a rational explaination for someone's right to choose, the same right we all enjoy, the same way I get to choose to have coffee or tea this morning. Obviously when that *Free Will* is used by a man/woman to not call us, to end the relationship we had high hopes for, to not communicate with us the reasons for dumping us or just disapearing off the face of the earth, we are devastated....it's hurtful and we demand closure..... what we have to understand that the other person may not (for their own personal reasons) want to *deal* with us and our heightened emotions at the time *WE* want or *NEED* to.

And sometimes when we get over ourselves, get out of our own way, and get on with our lives without, calling, texting, instant messaging the object of our affection with our fear heightened responses in a manner that may to them seem like crowding and stalker like..........they become (in their OWN time) ready to re-visit the situation and we get the answers we want or need.

Our timing may not be theirs.......and the fear can turn us into what I have termed an *Emotional Vacuum of NEED* ( I WILL be watching to see if ANYONE else uses that term, because it's MINE, MINE I tell you :-) which can cause the other to avoid our highly tense emotional energy until they can *DEAL* with us, this does not happen all the time, but it CAN happen....

As for the myth that exact timing can be predicted in all cases? I will have to break it to you that is not the truth in many cases. For that to occur, I am of the opinion that our lives would have to be so thought out that every moment of our days would be scheduled in such a precise manner that would interfere with the free will we hate in others but love in ourselves..........:-)

Now excuse me, I have a phone call scheduled to my mother in Ireland in precisely two minutes ( it's been on the books for YEARS) and I need to re-fill my coffee (also pre-scheduled for years)

p.s. please refer to my previous blog for my all around disclaimer regarding plagiarism. This blog is not the work of anyone else, and if it resmbles anything else ever written in the free world, I RESEMBLE that...

Joan

This Blog IS..............NOT......

2008-07-15T13:29:00Z

copied from anyone, not taken from anywhere. It was not printed and or written in this form or any other form anywhere else. No Key Phrases or words (can single words and or key phrases BE the property of any one individual?????? ) were re-produced, and NO one else owns the copy-right...and IF it resembles anything else that was ever published anywhere else in the entire free world with or without citation (even HIGH SCHOOL kids and some Middle School children KNOW they have to cite their sources) it is merely a co-inky dink. Having posted my disclaimer I can proceed.

I often wonder if the way people behave these days is simply thoughtlessness or real pure selfishness? Have we become so self absorbed that we are mindless to the needs and desires of others? Mind you, I would be remiss in pointing out that at times I may have acted with thoughtlessness, towards another, even acted with selfishness and or self interest and not considered the feelings of others, however I am at a point in my life where I am more aware and am trying to become more sensitive to the power of my words and deeds. I do address that to the people when I re-consider afterwards how I acted....and if it was with integrity towards another. Sometimes I hold off making a choice or passing a comment until I consider IF those actions are in MY best interest only and if they have integrity. I have had many situations that I have CHOSEN to learn from lately whereby upon re-consideration of the people involved and the situation I have come to the conclusion that there was no great conspiracy, it was merely another human being thoughtless and inconsiderate, possibly even thinking of themselves rather than me as opposed to someone deliberately going out of their way to hurt me or my feelings. Oh shock and horror, it really is NOT all about me?? By the same token, you do come across people who ONLY operate on thinking of themselves thereby choosing their own wants, needs over ANYONE else in their path.....REGARDLESS of the consequences. Those who betray friendship for their own selfish reasons, and those who expect you to perform for them upon whim since you have an ability and use that so again those boundaries are soooooo important.

Those kinds of people are best cut loose, and boy is THAT satisfying....

As a parent I can use my power for good or evil :-) I have the power to choose, and I consider my words towards my children carefully KNOWING that what I do and say could have them in therapy for YEARS after that, if they are not kindly delivered when I have an issue with a grade and or behavior etc... and that is one of the major things that has me re-considering how my words and deeds affect my children. It is something I put to use in my readings...and when I make that choice in my own personal relationships and treat people with respect and kindness, it usually comes back to me, it is one of the reasons I consider myself blessed, I would like to expect that of others, but I have seen that it is not always the way, it will not change how or WHO I am... not now, not ever......

Joan

From Yahoo.....Ten Signs that you are dating a Commitment ready guy...

2008-07-07T15:48:00Z

Are you ready for a relationship that is going to lead somewhere without you being led on? It's time to start weeding out the commitment phobics and put your time and effort into men that are looking for the kind of relationship you want -- one that has a future. If you're interested in getting married, ignore these at your own risk. Here's what to look for:

1. His friends are married

If you are interested in a guy, check out his friends' left hands to see if they have wedding rings on. Research has show that if his friends are already married, he's more likely to get married. If all of his friends are still single and in the "party-with-the-boys" phase, that's a bad sign.

2. He's financially secure

Studies show that men who own a home are more marriage-ready. A man who is generally financially stable, and has his ducks in a row, feels marriage is a practical next step for him.

3. He pursues you

The guy who is commitment-ready is going to initiate doing things with you. If you're emailing him and he takes days to email you back, if you have to text him to find out where he is, if you are always calling him, you're chasing a man who's probably not marriage-material.

4. He's willing to wait

Yes, research is telling us what we already know: If a guy gets to know you before getting intimate, he is more likely to commit.

5. He watches DVDs with you when you're sick

Taking care of you when you're sick shows that this guy isn't just in it for the fun and sex. If he wants to be with you in bad times, it's a sign he's in it for the long haul.

6. He gets to know your friends and family

A guy who is thinking long-term wants to truly get to know you. Seeing you interact with your family and friends helps him learn where you come from and more about who you are. The flip side of it is that he will also want you to get to know him! He'll want to see if you fit in with his family and friends. A guy who keeps you separate from the important people in his life is just playing around.

7. He says, "we" instead of "me"

When he switches from "me" to "we", that's a sign he's committing to you at a deeper level. If your guy is all, "I", "me", and "my" instead of "we" and "us" in conversations after you've been dating a while, his mindset is still in single guy mode.

8. He's not afraid of compromise

A commitment-ready guy is going to ask your opinion, consult you about decisions he needs to make, and has the ability to meet you half-way. A bull-headed guy who needs everything his way or it's the highway, isn't ready for the compromise that's naturally part of a mature relationship.

9. He doesn't need excuses

Commitment-phobic guys always have an excuse about why they can't be with you on Saturday night, why they didn't call, and why they aren't ready for a relationship right now. A commitment-ready guy doesn't need excuses, he just needs you.

10. He likes being in a long-term relationship

Some men like being in a monogamous relationship and some don't. The sooner you realize and accept this the better. If he complains all the time about needing space, treats you like a giant burden instead of a gift, and keeps talking about taking things slow, he's telling you he's not ready for a commitment. On the other hand, if he's done with the party scene, enjoys your "couple time" together, and has a strong sense of family, you've found a commitment-ready guy.

This article that was posted on Yahoo and to me it made so much sense, I had to re-post it here. When we have the ability to stand back and look at what IS, as opposed to what IF's, or what could be or should be we will know the potential, by the behavior of the person..

joan

Did you ever....

2008-07-03T19:57:00Z

get the same phone call or text from the same person over and over....listen to their complaints about the man/woman they're involved with and yet they go right back at the smallest little thing with no sorting out of the real issues between the two involved.

Did you ever try to help them, try to explain to them that you teach others how to treat you, and yet they still allow the person back into their lives.

Did you ever just finally get tired of hearing the same complaints over and over and no matter how many times they get treated badly by the person they are invovled with, they take them back, no questions asked because that phone call they obsessed over came, but the real issues remain and have yet to be solved...And then you realize that you just have to listen, no matter how tired you are of hearing it, but they need that advice even if they need to *bake* it for a while.

Unfortunately you only *get it* when you are ready to *get it* no matter how frustrasted you may get with your friends, allow them to learn their lessons in their own time...........and just be there for them.....

Joan

Avoiding Money Scams....

2008-07-01T13:18:00Z

Avoiding Investment Scams

We would all like to think that we could spot a scam easily. Unfortunately, most of us cannot! Con artists are friendly people. They look professional and appear successful, and they are not always strangers. Some contact us through church groups or ethnic associations. Some are people we know as friends and neighbors. You can lose a lot of money if you fall for an investment scam. How do you avoid having this happen?

We would all like to think that we could spot a scam easily. Unfortunately, most of us cannot! Con artists are friendly people. They look professional and appear successful, and they are not always strangers.

There are some principles to follow:

1. Buy only from licensed or credentialed financial professionals. Stockbrokers and investment advisers must be licensed to sell you stocks, bonds, and mutual funds, for example. Avoid buying investments from persons who are not licensed to sell those products. See the Resources section, below, regarding checking out financial professionals.

2. Review your account statements. Check all statements when you get them and notice the details, including all changes to your investments. Make sure your correspondence is sent to the investment firm's official address. Ask questions right away about anything that seems incorrect, unauthorized, or unclear. If your investment company's broker or advisor refuses to comply promptly when you ask to withdraw money from your account, does not provide proper statements, or does not give satisfactory answers to your questions, complain in writing to authorities. See the Resources section below for information on how to do this.

3. Buy investment products that you have chosen and checked carefully. Stick to buying investment products that you have sought out yourself and investigated carefully. Buy products you can understand, after you have reviewed written details.

4. Make sure you are buying registered investment products. Most legitimate products have to be registered with the SEC and in the state of sale (see the Resources section below). Check them before you buy.

5. Ignore spam email and "hot tips." These types of messages are sometimes meant to trap unwary investors. Hot tips can come from people you know, or be left as "accidental" messages on your answering machine. Fake websites and blogs are sometimes set up to provide false information about investments.

6. Be careful if you are invited to invest by phone, at a meeting, or at a social event. Get details about any investment in writing, and be sure to check them out. Never make a snap decision when you are first approached with an investment idea. If someone pressures you to buy quickly, offers to send a messenger to pick up your money, or claims that the offer is only good "right now" - just say no.

7. If the promoter says it's practically a "sure thing" - don't buy it. All investments carry some level of risk. Don't buy into any product if the salesperson says there is no risk to it, even if you like and trust that person. A salesperson can be the victim of a scam, too.

8. Never make an investment payable to the salesperson. Always make your payment to the investment company.

All investments carry some level of risk. Don't buy into any product if the salesperson says there is no risk to it, even if you like and trust that person. >>

This is taken directly from the BBB Web Site. I get emails all the time where all the person wants is my banking information and I email all of them telling them I am sure their mother is proud of them in their career trying to sam people out of money. With increased contact from so many sources, internet, phone there are more opportunities for people to try to get money from you in a dishonest way, so be careful and protect your money...

Joan

Apologies...

2008-06-27T02:30:00Z

I was unable to take calls for a few days, I had my little man Madra in his first dog show and he came away with three ribbons.... I am so proud :-)

And I had a mini vacation on Nantucket Island. No traffic lights or Dunkin Donuts, but man oh man it's so beautiful. Old homes and cobble stones and not one franchise in sight, I hope they keep it that way. The small planes I am not big on, but it's only a short flight, so I did hold onto the back of the poor mans seat in front :-)

It's old world new England, historic homes that are SO expensive....and many roads have no paving and some that do are a rough ride indeed, they are red brick or old cobble stones. Not to mention some really great restaurants.

I am sure this place is bursting to capacity, compared to the winter there ( I have visited there in the winter also) never saw so many people walking, on bikes and those little scooters.

I may go again before the summer is over.......

Joan

Speaking of Spam....

2008-06-20T13:30:00Z

and not the canned type although I hear the sales are up with the bad economy and all.........

Keen has it's own special type of Spam....

Isn't it great that some readers have a *special message* for me? FOR ME? L'IL ol ME? Whatever did I do to deserve that?

I cannot believe that another reader would send me 1 free minute? For ME? I'm so special......

Some readers email me to tell me what time they are available, do I tell you what time I am going to have my lunch? I think that IF you want me, you will find me and you don't need me needlessly emailing you to tell you my schedule...

Or that you are *BACK*, heck I did not know you were gone.......... sorry if that is remiss of me ........

Somtimes you email me to tell me to CALL YOU NOW!! This minute? Can I use the bathroom first? Or does it have to be this minute?

Sometimes you tell me you are available for appointments, call backs etc....honest If I want you, I will find you, emails looking for business really turn me off personally ( I do not know how you feel about it, I personally do not care for it).

Some advertise their sales, hey that's great but I am not sure I am in the market for a sale at the moment....I would like the freedom to call whomever I want, IF I want, When I want and not have many emails vying for business.

I send out emails when I am going on vacation, because I will be gone for a week or two....maybe that offends some, and for that I apologise, but many emails offering services I am not interested in just kind of niggles me :-)

Spam, spam, spam, spam..........

joan

Some Times I read a Blog and....

2008-06-18T20:59:00Z

it makes me think and from that *thinking* comes an idea for another blog...

One was a blog on an issue where a reader will not read upon...

And I realized that there is one thing I do not care to read upon, and I will state that when asked and also present my reason for not wishing to read upon this one specific issue. It is timing of when another relationship will end, so that the person calling can *be* with this person...I am more than happy to read upon the status of the relationship....what's going on in the relationship and whether it is stable etc IF asked but I do not feel it is a good thing for someone to wish the ending of a relationship on a time frame so *they* can *be* with that person...maybe I think it's bad karma? Now maybe you feel that is unreasonable of me but most times the person who was looking for the timing agrees with my logic and reason for not wishing that upon that specific issue. And since I am more than happy to read upon other aspects of the relationship the caller is usually okay with my reasoning about the timing aspect.

I will do health readings again IF asked but do always specify that I am not a doctor and I do not wish to play one on keen so while I will read on the question asked, I feel honor bound to impart to the caller that I am not qualified to give medical advice and would recommend they contact a doctor.

Doing readings brings to the forefront the wide scope and range of human emotion and I for one take seriously what I do and always try to conduct myself in a professional manner even if others do not appear to think of me in that way...

Joan

What's the Vibe......

2008-06-18T13:05:00Z

Sometimes you read or see something or hear something and it gives off a vibe, an argumentative vibe or a feeling of discomfort...or even what feels like a veiled threat......

Sometimes it's condescending, holier than thou, a lecture type vibe and it just really bothers you and you cannot for the life of you figure out why it could have the power to evoke that kind of uncomfortable feeling in you ?

What are the things that evoke such things in you? Are there lessons to be learned about yourself from these kinds of situations? Can we control our reactions to people and things? And when it involves your children, the tiger comes out, you can say what you will to me, but be careful when speaking of my kids. It's awful easy to SAY it is not what people do or say that should effect you, it's how you choose to react to it that counts... I KNOW someone famous said that or something close to it but I cannot again for the life of me remember who it was :-)

Joan

Spam...

2008-06-17T12:16:00Z

These days our email boxes are filled, and the spam filter is worked hard...and sometimes things get through :-)

I don't know how many unfortunates have lost a family member that you now need to help get the family money out of some foreign country for. Where is my bank account number....??

Do I really need to increase the size of my organ? ( last time I looked I did not have one, I hope I have not grown one in the night!&!*@&@)

Sheesh, now I need to improve my sexual performance? I thought lying back and thinking was of Ireland was enough?? It's gotten me this far hasn't it? That's what my mother told me to do ! I will stick with it........ :-)

Do I want that college degree now?

How about I pay off my mortgage in just one year?? Now that sounds too good to be true does it not?

Do I want to unlock the key to eternal youth? Where is that key???

Do I have time to check my ink in my printer????

Why on EARTH would Costco, Home Depot want to give me a $1,000, they don't even know me, how nice, I could easily find a way to spend that money in either places or any of the others have free money for me....

And isn't that nice that the credit burea got my credit score for me for no charge??

I am spoiled for choice :-) Where do I start?

joan

Madra....

2008-06-16T23:27:00Z

I know this is really sad of me but I cannot stop laughing ....

[URL=http://img529.imageshack.us/my.php?image=imagevs8.jpg][IMG]http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/2200/imagevs8.th.jpg[/IMG][/URL]...

Poor, poor madra, he had a hernia operation and he has to wear a halo around his head for a few days and be watched constantly until he forgets he has stitches in his tummy.... I have not been able to sign on to take calls as the little man is DEMANDING my attention and his head is way too big for his crate :-) So he has to be watched like a hawk.

The poor thing does not know where his head ends or begins any more, its MUCH bigger than it used to be and I hope he figures out where it ends soon as the poor thing is not supposed to jump, and no one told the dog....

I also hope those are pictures of my little man up there as that is what I intended them to be.

Joan

Much was made of...........

2008-06-16T22:39:00Z

the blog on a certain *sin* and how one reader chooses not to read on that *sin* and yet I have been thinking that many readers place stipulations on how and what they will read on, why are they not the same?

What is different about a reader stating on her/his page they will not do general readings? is that not a judgement on how they want to read for you?

What is different about a reader stating on his/her page they will not do readings unless you are a repeat 5 star caller?

What about a no new clients reader?

What of a reader who will not do timing?

What of a reader who will not do questions, they just need some information to start and they do not want to be disturbed in their *flow* of information??

They may not be exactly the same, however they are similiar in that they set rules and or conditions under which the reader is willing to work...

How can one judge one reader negatively when many readers do the same? I for one think that all stipulations ( timing, feedback, no general readings) are the same on a general level.....they are preferences, one can refuse to take a call ( yet claim to help everyone? ) One can not want to do general readings...as is our preferences, therein lies the beauty of keen.

Just a thought..........

p.s. this is not about anyone, just a comment and thought in general about the slight bit of hypocrisy that was aimed at a reader who stated like many others that she did not want to read on a particular *sin* And Like I love to say, there before the Grace of God, go I....

p.p.s Heather, there before the grace of Dog go I .......... :-)

Joan

To blog or not to blog.....

2008-06-16T14:41:00Z

That IS the question....

I am really taken aback at some of the venom that has emerged on some of the blogs. Some of the labeling, the name calling the inability to see the opinion of another with respect ( perhaps I have been guilty of that ) And I am saddened at the fact that many of us have appeared to be intolerant and judgemental (again perhaps I have been guilty of that).

I see the victim mentality, the judging of others as being unfit to read because of personal choices that many readers have stated on their pages. The pages that state I will only read for repeat 5 star callers, No general questions, no timing, and the most controversial one, not wanting to read for people indulging in adulterous situations. Those are ALL the same in theory and are stipulations that a reader can impose on their conditions to do a reading. We have that choice to run our business the way we see fit. These blogs seem to bring out the worst in some not to mention the best in some with some very educational blogs.....

All of this has made us appear childish, whiny, judgemental and attack prone on other human beings simply because they are behind a computer screen as if that might hurt less. This really needs to change as that kind of behavior in my humble opinion was not the purpose of the blogs, and will not in the long term serve us well. Neither from a business stand point, and or professional stand point and none of this will serve any of us well. There is room for all of us on here no matter what our personal opinions are and respect is what is sadly needed from all towards others.

p.s. this is my personal opinion of the toxic energy of some of the blogs lately, does not speak of anyone in particular and does not refer to anyone in particular and if it has cause offense, it was not intended..... Brings to mind a Carly Simon song..........I bet you think this blog is about you, don't you.........I am off to make some clouds in my coffee... no pun intended.........

Joan

The Quick Fix......

2008-06-13T12:33:00Z

This is the quick fix society world wide. The headache pill, the drive through food, drive through prescription, it's all quick.

Most of us want the quick relationship *fix*...

How can I change this man/woman? How can I make him/her do more in this relationship? How can I make him/her call more, step up?

No one likes change, we all like our own way in a relationship, and one has to be motivated because we all easily settle into patterns of behavior, that are not so easily broken. And one can achieve change if one stays away from drama, does not issue ultimatums that one ultimately does not keep to. There is no point in telling someone to never call you again and then wonder when will they call? There is no point in saying things you will regret and wondering after why the other person can get over your insults and or harsh words...

So...... let's think about this and realize if you have continued to be intimate when he/she did not call, did not step up, treated you poorly why then all of a sudden will he/she suddenly be motivated to call you? When he/she sees that you tacitly accept their behavior they will not be willing to do more. The quick fix will not occur if the behavior has been accepted.... even if you grumbled or complained about it.... The simple explaination is to compare your relationship with work and IF the partner is getting away with only doing two hours work and getting paid for 8, why would they then step up?

Do not let fear rule your actions or non actions regarding the slide back in behavior of your partner. That will make it more difficult for them to see your determination as the one thing you need in a relationship is the other person to know that you mean business. There is no quick relationship fix, it takes time, it takes work, and it takes saying what you mean and meaning what you say, is that easy? Heck NO! But is it worth it? That's something only YOU decide... :-)

joan