Faith New Zealand's Road Map of Life

Peace and Quiet

Faith New Zealand — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 18:55:00 GMT

What do men want out of life? For most men the answer is simple – they want a quiet life. Men don’t cope well with emotional upheavals. They detest drama and arguments. They yearn for a peaceful existence, untroubled by upsets and quarrels.

Aren’t women just the same? No, not exactly. A woman often resolves problems by “thinking out loud.” She usually wants to discuss and analyze and “share.” To a man this often feels more like confrontation, even if this is not what she intended. The four little words that a man most dreads hearing are “we have to talk.” For him this is code for, “Uh oh, I’m in trouble again.”

The quickest way to send a man running is to create a life full of drama. If you really need to discuss something – pick your moment. Let him have his peace and quiet when he first walks through the door, so he doesn’t dread coming home. Let him watch his favorite programs uninterrupted. Unless the house is burning down, whatever it is that’s on your mind can wait.

Get into the habit of doing a lot of your “thinking out loud” with your girlfriends, not with him. That’s what female friends are for! Then you can discuss the results of your deliberations with him, and he won’t feel nearly so threatened. Learning to handle conflict is a skill – fight in such a way that life isn’t constantly full of drama and your relationship will survive and thrive.

Just remember – he’d rather face down a saber toothed tiger than deal with conflict!

Friday- itis

Faith New Zealand — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 15:28:00 GMT

In my pre dawn bleary-eyed state this morning I picked up the pack in which I haul my stuff around on the back of my motorbike and headed out the door for another thrill filled day at my course, coff coff.

The pack was quite heavy, but I've been hauling around all my books so I never gave it a second thought. I dumped it beside the garage door while I opened the gate, but as I headed back down the drive I realized that something didn't look right. There was an odd lump on one side of the bag. On closer inspection it proved to be a cat's head. Mortimer, my Devon Rex, had somehow mananged to pack himself and was on his way to work with me. He was highly indignant to be summararily removed and returned to custody. He's obviously been watching The Great Escape. Well, at least his little escapade woke me up!

:))

National Day of Mourning

Faith New Zealand — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 18:07:00 GMT

Today has been declared a National Day of Mourning here in Australia. 209 people are known to have lost their lives in the bush fires of Black Saturday, with more bodies yet to be located. More than 1500 homes were burned to the ground. Thousands of animals were also killed. The landscape will take years to recover.

Amidst the crisis tales of great courage and heroism have emerged. There have been miracles of survival, and at the height of the blaze a baby was born - joy amongst dispair. His family survived with just the clothes on their backs, but their lives were spared.

When things like this happen we forget our differences and remember our common humanity. So spare a prayer for those affected by this terrible disaster, and let us all reflect on the fact that even our "enemies" are just people, with families, homes, and emotions just like our own, for only then will we have peace in our time.

Apathy

Faith New Zealand — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 15:41:00 GMT

With all the bad news we are constantly bombarded with, it's easy to start feeling that it's all too much. How can one individual possibly make a difference with the planet in such a mess? There is an organisation designed to turn that negative thinking around and make positive starts on saving the planet. It's called Anti-Apathy, and can be found here:

http://www.antiapathy.org/

Here's its 12 Step Recovery from Apathy Plan:

Admit that there is a problem and that A LIFE ADDICTED TO APATHY IS A LIFE HALF LIVED
Repeat the following until you believe it: ‘THE POWER TO CHANGE THINGS AND RESTORE SOCIETY LIES WITHIN EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US’
Ponder the question, ‘WHAT CAN I DO?’ (And while you’re at it, list some answers)
Make a list of all of the practices in your every day life that stress the planet, society and yourself
ACT on your discoveries
HUG A TREE. If it is too wide, mobilise your community to link arms and then, together, hug the aforementioned tree
REJECT the doctrine of individualism and see the world as an interdependent whole
Learn a new joke
Befriend a politician (lets face it most of them could do with at least one)
Tell your new joke to a stranger on the street and your new politician friend
Having experienced a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, CARRY THIS MESSAGE OF HOPE TO OTHER APATHETICS
IGNORE THIS GUIDE AND FIND YOUR OWN PATH TO RECOVERY

Take up the challenge today!

Don't Worry, Be Happy....

Faith New Zealand — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 21:12:00 GMT

In difficult times, it is not always easy to stay "up" so here's a link to a great article with some simple steps to keeping your bright side showing:

http://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/b/newidea/21036/5-steps-to-staying-happy/

In summary:

1. Start the day with exercise

2. Add beauty

3. Smile

4. Pamper yourself

5. Be grateful!

Got Along Without You....

Faith New Zealand — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 15:59:00 GMT

I was sweating away at the gym this morning when a song caught my attention. It was a remake of an old standard, the words of which go:

Got along without you before I met you

Gonna get along without you now!

What great advice! When a relationship ends, especially if you are the one dumped, it is often hard to imagine a future without the Beloved – but you got along without them before you met them. You can get along without them now!

It goes further than that. What attracted the Beloved to you in the first place? You were getting along just fine, living an independent life. So what have you got to lose by doing that again? It’s a Win/Win/Win. Get your life together and you’ll be happy again despite them. If there’s any chance of reconciliation, they are much more likely to be drawn back to that original happy you than to a Sad Sack. Or you might attract someone else who likes the happy You too.

So make this your refrain and you can’t lose:

Got along without you before I met you

Gonna get along without you now!

No one else can “make you happy.” Only you can do that. So go do it!

Serendipity

Faith New Zealand — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 15:13:00 GMT

A caller wrote me this email:

"I was just surfing your blog, looking for anything that could explain this "numbers" thing I have constantly going on. My clocks ( with a few exceptions) are digital. I am always noticing the time when all the numbers are exactly the same. Its starting to really get to me. I have woken up at 2:22 and fell back asleep only to wake up at 3:33 or 5:55. Today I walked into my bedroom at 3:33. my bedroom clock is about 10-15 mins. faster than the other clock so I can get up for work early. Anyhow, I went back to work at my sdesk and a while later I realized I wanted a drink. I went to the kitchen and the microwave said 3:33

The other day I noticed I was fixing my lunch at 11:11

You dont have a blog yet about people going mad over seeing the same things all the time :0)"

This was my reply:

No, I haven't written a blog about that! But if I did, it would go something like this:

When the Universe sends us a "serendipity" like the numbers you are noticing, it is like a wee "pat on the back" - a little affirmation that your life is on the right track, that you are doing the right thing. When we are trying to swim upstream against the flow, the opposite occurs - we keep encountering road blocks and nothing seems to work properly. So .... keep up the good work ... and now I'll have to "Blog" this!

:))

Faith

Valentine's Day Tips

Faith New Zealand — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 16:46:00 GMT

This link is just for the guys (but smart women will make she that "He" gets to see it....)

http://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/b/mens-health/4756/how-to-play-the-valentine-game

:))

Faith

PS : Guys, this is good advice for birthdays as well!

Better Calls in Hard Times

Faith New Zealand — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 14:44:00 GMT

We all know times are hard. I will always attempt to give you the most efficient reading possible with minimal wasted time. However, I have noticed a trend that is not serving some callers well. They phone with only a couple of minutes of paid time available, then renew for another couple of minutes, then renew again … and again. They may end up spending eight to ten minutes on the phone, but in short interrupted bursts, during which I have lost the flow of the reading more than once.

If you are on a limited budget, I can serve you far better in five uninterrupted minutes than in four or five two minute bursts. It is, as my dear mother used to say “false economy” to keep renewing like that. No one can tell you your life story in two minutes, but in five I can at least make a decent start! I want to do my best for you, so if money is tight, use it wisely.

Looking For Work?

Faith New Zealand — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 02:48:00 GMT

If you are looking for work, I'm passing this along from a trusted source:

"Just wanted to pass this along...if any of your US caller/clients are looking for work, have them contact the closest office of the US Census Bureau. They are hiring NOW for the 2010 census. Positions available range from office work to field agents, pay is decent and depending on the area and position jobs will last for weeks, months or as long as a year. With all the layoffs in the news it's nice to know someone is actually hiring!"

Good luck!

:))

Faith

My Best Fiend

Faith New Zealand — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 16:40:00 GMT

NO, that’s not a typo! I often get calls about “friendships” that sound more like “fiendships.” They usually start out something like this…

Your new “friend” begins by paying you a lot of compliments. Naturally, you find this very flattering. They also demonstrate their admiration for you by copying a lot of the things you do. You buy a new pink mobile phone, next day they have one the same. You decide to change your hair style, and soon they are at the same hair dresser as you, copying your colour or cut.

At first, this feels good. It is hard not to like someone who so obviously likes you. But after a while it starts to become a bit irritating, and you start to notice that there is an edge of competitiveness to it all. There may be a bit of a barb in some of the comments that your “friend” makes, and you may find them moving in on your other friends or even deliberately making contact with your ex’s. They may start exchanging gossip about you that you are uncomfortable with.

You feel guilty about these thoughts and wonder if you are being petty, because they are still being “nice” to you, perhaps giving you presents or doing you favors. But it feels more and more as if they are trying to “buy” you. What to do?

Well, the first thing to remember is that it’s not about you. If you ask around, you will find that it has been a pattern in their previous friendships. You will find that they have lost a lot of friends that way before, which is why they battened on to you with such enthusiasm. There is only one solution. Quietly back away from the “friendship” and allow it to drop. They are not going to change. If anything, it’s going to get worse.

It’s hard to drop a friendship, because we are taught to value them, but a fiendship is not the same as a friendship! It doesn’t serve your greatest good, and confronting the issue won’t help as the other person is unlikely to be willing to acknowledge their self destructive behaviour patterns. You are likely to make an enemy instead. Treat it as a learning experience. As a good friend of mine once said, “Light attracts bugs!”

Shakespeare Was Right!

Faith New Zealand — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 17:34:00 GMT

Shakespeare was so amazing when it came to analyzing the human condition. In the play “Macbeth” there is a speech commonly known as “the porter’s speech” which sums up something I so often hear from callers. The speech is about the farmer who hanged himself “in the expectation of plenty.” What does that mean? Well, it goes like this …

The farmer is expecting a bumper crop. He starts thinking about his good fortune, anticipating all the money he will have, but then he has second thoughts. If his crop is so good, then his neighbours’ crops will be good too. There will be a glut of produce, and prices will fall, not rise. He gets so depressed thinking about it that he goes out and hangs himself.

Shakespeare had it right. Human beings are so often guilty of this sort of negative thinking. Someone meets a great new partner and all they can think of is that it must be too good to be true, so they start sabotaging the relationship in order to prove themselves right. They fear success, or good health or new friendships just in case it all goes wrong. Many of us are so comfortable with our familiar negative patterns that it is hard for us to see that we are “hanging ourselves in the expectation of plenty. “

Here’s what a client wrote to me recently that illustrates the point. Fortunately, she has seen the error of her ways and is making some great changes in 2009.

“I was talking with my friend C. today. She and I were "tossing around" some possible reasons for our depression lately. I know this sounds strange but we feel like we are more depressed because we have been more social and enjoying ourselves. Not to say that we shouldn’t enjoy life, that’s for sure but....every time I came home from a "nice evening" or positive event of some sort there was a huge let down followed by a three or four day depression in which I become a hermit. See, becoming a hermit again is how I fix the "hole". I fill it myself. I found out that she was behaving the same way.

You see.... I used to be a "hermit" all the time. I was very comfortable in my own skin and was content. There was no drama and there were no disappointments or let-downs of any kind. I believed I was in complete control. Sometime in the last two years I began to branch out and become more social. At first, it was like getting a shot in the arm. I would go where -ever, do my thing and be very glad to be back home where it was safe. Then I managed to stay longer and longer away from home, eventually finding myself wanting to be out quite a bit.

Now comes the realization.....OK.. I finally realize why I am sad. These relationships are good NOT bad. I am sad now, when I come home, because I am actually missing a good thing....not escaping the drama and negativity.

My friend C. described it like unplugging from a really good source of energy. I hope this does not sound like I am complaining. To the contrary, I think its good! I am glad to know that I am finally sad to miss something positive. Now all I have to do is work out the balance.

You told me in my reading for 2009 that I will be happy with the choices I have made to get me where I am. Well, I already am. Even though, it might be hard to create this balance in my social life, I am happy that I made the choice to get out there and be more social. It is definitely worth it!”

Thanks K for sharing this great revelation!

Speaking on Behalf of the Voiceless Angels With Fur

Faith New Zealand — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 16:08:00 GMT

I received this email from a caller friend, and feel very strongly that it is a story worthy of sharing:

"Since you have "held my hand" during the recent losses of several of my pets (angels with fur) I'm excited to tell you about the "gift" I received a week after my birthday. I was driving home during a sleet storm just before dark when I spotted two small dogs near the highway. They were in great danger from the traffic and the extreme falling temperatures. I made a quick rescue so they would not get hit by a car or freeze to death. They were so filthy and their hair so matted I couldn't tell much about them. After a hot bath and several hours of cutting the mats from their hair, I was shocked to discover I had rescued a tiny pekingese and a very small cocker spaniel! Convinced that they must belong to someone I did all the normal "lost/found dog routine"...contacted the vets and animal shelters, put an ad in the paper, listed them on all the free internet sites, etc. No response! I've since come to believe they were "put out" by someone who either didn't want them or could no longer pay the expense of keeping them. Wherever they came from they were not accustomed to physical affection...whenever I would reach for them they would "freeze" and "flatten out"....with almost a month now of good food, warm home and lots of physical affection they have really BLOSSOMED!!! So the newest members of my family are Sofie (an adorable, very small black and white cocker spaniel) and Cupcake (a tiny blonde pekingese princess). My big dog Jordan is a laugh riot with them...he's 90 pounds so compared to them he looks like a Great Dane, but they have a great time together. Sometimes he gets a little rough, just because he's so big and wants to play, but they all seem to be finding their own place and comfort zone. I can't save all the dogs, but I'm happy I could help these two little angels!

I wanted to suggest a topic for your blog...with the economy in the dumps so many people are giving up their animals and not always in a loving way. In the past month my neighbors around here out in the country have reported seeing at least a dozen dogs wandering the roads, many are pure bred expensive dogs...some have been lucky enough to find homes but others have not...a few were hit by cars, shot by farmers or froze to death. It is just so sad!!! Please encourage those in the heart wrenching position of having to give up their pets to PLEASE do it in a HUMANE WAY..not just toss them out!!! Yes, Craigslist is loaded with ads for pets needing homes and yes many shelters are full, but to just dump them and expect them to fend for themselves, especially in the winter is just down right cruel!!!"

Why would people do this sort of thing to expensive pets? Well, not all people who do it are cruel, just misguided. It's a version of "magical thinking." They cannot face the reality of surrendering their animals to the humane society knowing they will be put down, so they turn them loose in the hope that they will adopted by someone like my caller with the big heart. But as the email says, the reality is much worse. They are killed by traffic, or starve or freeze, a much worse fate than a simple injection.

It may feel terrible to front up to the humane society and tell those there that you can't even afford the donation to take your pet off your hands, but it's the last act of kindness you can do for your loyal friend. Only one animal in a thousand encounters someone as special as these two did. So PLEASE, put the word out that it's kinder to euthanase than to rely on magical solutions.

I have never before added these words to an email or Blog, but I'm adding them now:

"Please send this to all of your friends."

Happy New Year to all the Creator's creatures.

Making Effective New Year's Resolutions

Faith New Zealand — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 17:39:00 GMT

It is traditional at this time of year to make New Year’s Resolutions. It is also traditional to backslide and fall by the wayside with these goals! The reason for lack of success is twofold.

1. It is necessary to write your resolutions down – verbal intentions are not nearly so effective.

2. It is necessary to set positive goals. Setting negative goals, e.g. “I am going to give up smoking’, does not work. It is important to frame resolutions in positive terms, e.g. “I am going to improve the health of my lungs”.

Today, write down 5 things you would like to achieve this year. Attach your list to the December section of your diary or calendar so you can see your progress.

Happy New Year!

A Christmas Story

Faith New Zealand — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 16:12:00 GMT

This is one of those stories that’s been the doing the internet rounds. I don’t know the original source, but it touched my heart, so I’m passing it on (with apologies to its author for not being able to give proper attribution)

The Truth About Santa Claus

I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma.
I was just a kid.

I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the
day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus,"
she jeered. "Even dummies know that!"

My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to
her that day because I knew she would be straight with me.

I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth
always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of
her "world-famous" cinnamon buns. I knew they were world-famous,
because Grandma said so. It had to be true.

Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites,
I told her everything. She was ready for me.

"No Santa Claus?" She snorted... "Ridiculous! Don't believe it.
That rumor Has been going around for years, and it makes me mad,
plain mad! Now, put On your coat, and let's go."

"Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even finished my
second world-famous cinnamon bun.

"Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one store
in town that had a little bit of just about everything. As we
walked through its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars. That
was a bundle in those days. "Take this money," she said, "and
buy something for someone who needs it. I'll wait for you in
the car." Then she turned and walked out of Kerby's.

I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with my
mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself.
The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to
finish their Christmas shopping. For a Few moments I just
stood there, confused, clutching that ten-dollar bill,
wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for.

I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my Friends, my
neighbors, the kids at school, and the people who went to my
church.

I was just about thought out, when I suddenly thought of Bobby
Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he
sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's grade-two class.

Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because he never
went out to recess during the winter. His mother always wrote
a note, telling the teacher that he had a cough, but all we
kids knew that Bobby Decker didn't have a cough; he didn't have
a good coat. I fingered the ten-dollar bill with growing
excitement. I would buy Bobby Decker a coat!

I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it.
It looked real warm, and he would like that.

"Is this a Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the
counter asked Kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down.

"Yes, ma'am," I replied shyly. "It's for Bobby."

The nice lady smiled at me, as I told her about how Bobby really
needed a Good winter coat. I didn't get any change, but she put
the coat in a bag, smiled again, and wished me a Merry Christmas.

That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat (a little tag
fell out of the coat, and Grandma tucked it in her Bible) in
Christmas paper and ribbons and wrote, "To Bobby, From Santa
Claus" on it. Grandma said that Santa always insisted on
secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker's house,
explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially,
one of Santa's Helpers. Grandma parked down the street from
Bobby's house, and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the
bushes by his front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All
right, Santa Claus," she whispered, "get going."

I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the
present down on his step, pounded his door and flew back to
the safety of the bushes and Grandma. Together we waited
breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open.
Finally it did, and there stood Bobby.

Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent
shivering, beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker's bushes. That
night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa Claus
were just what Grandma said they were: Ridiculous.

Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team.
I still have The Bible, with the coat tag tucked inside:
$19.95.