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Think You're Terrible @ Relationships?? Consider this....

Lollie-ext-5555 — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 16:00:00 GMT

I hear it said many ways,
"I'm not good at relationships."
"I ruin relationships."
"Some how I screw up every relationship I get into!"
"I'm terrible with men!"
"I have terrible luck with men!"

Have you ever made any of those statements? Even believed them? If so, you are far from alone in your beliefs. And you're wrong. Oh sure if you're never doing your share of what's right and always doing more than your share of what's wrong.... maybe you're right... but most people who believe they're bad at relationships are just plain wrong.

We aren't supposed to work out with every person we get involved with.
95% of the people saying those things are not good at something alright, they're not good at choosing who to have relationships with in the first place.
I made number 1 bold and if you've been believing you were bad at relationships, go a step or two further with it. Print it out and put it next to your bathroom mirror.... or have it tattooed backwards on your forehead so you'll see it in every mirror. But seriously, quit feeling and believing you're a failure at relationships just because most of them don't work out.

Most of them don't work out because most of them aren't supposed to. It's a bad fit. Seemed like a good idea at first, but as more details are revealed, the relationship becomes impossible.
a nosy person and a private person
an Obama Democrat and a Limbaugh Republican,
one loves loud heavy metal and the other one would rather hear something soft and classical in the background....
These can be real deal breakers, let alone he thinks he requires two women and you require a man that only wants one.

I don't care how good looking he is, how much money he makes or how great he is in bed, every rule, value and belief you don't share or at least sincerely respect is a rough spot that wears away at the threads that hold your relationship together.

So, good news. Relationships, you're probably pretty good at! It's just picking your partners you've been less than your best at. When you change that, you'll be surprised at how much more you can enjoy bad boys without expecting them to turn into your Mr. Right.

It also makes it much easier to sift the chaff from the grain and actually find a man that fits with you. Your goal should NEVER be just to get married. If your goal is marriage at all it should be a marriage that you and your husband can truly enjoy for as long as it lasts. The difference in those two goals is only a few words and they make a monumental difference in the quality of your marriage and the foundation you raise your kids on.

I'll ice this cake with: 'never decide a man is THE ONE for you when you're drunk on alcohol and / or infatuation' and you'll probably be alright now. No rush though. Do it any way you like for as long as you like. That's what I did. But really, you're no worse at relationships than anyone else. We aren't supposed to work out with every person we get involved with. So lighten up on you.

Thank you Lollie,for keeping me in line when I need it, supporting me when I need it, being blunt and honest in a loving sort of way. JUST AS YOU SAW there was good reason, I was relieved, was definately a different busy than the normal busy, and they made a specific call at 10:30 at night to explain it all, apologize and find out how I was doing. Hmm, eating crow doesn't taste good, but I am glad it is your recipe! Thanks darlin'!

She's so FAST!

Thank you very much. I am looking forward to this summer. Lollie is so amazing. Quick and so accurate.

You really aren't bad at relationships.
So quit telling yourself you are.

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My Theory on Love and Hate...

Lollie-ext-5555 — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 16:00:00 GMT

My theory on love and hate explained with a political analogy.

Love and hate are not opposites.

Love can exist without hate. But hate can't exist without love because it's only an unhealthy side effect of love.

We literally cannot have hate without love. Here's my proof....

There are a lot of people that hate Obama and a lot of people that hate Palin.

The Obama haters and the Palin haters both hate for the same reason:

They perceive the person they hate as a threat to the health and well being of the country we love.

Every time you encounter someone who hates the person you're voting for, just remember, you share something beautiful, love for your country. The only difference is what you believe. In every political campaign there is more crap thrown out there about the other team than you can shake a stick at. It's hard to know where the truth begins and the bs ends. But at least this time we have snopes.com and factcheck.org.... and both of them pretty well nail your favorite and your least favorite candidates to the wall with the truth. So this time, we can sift the chaff from the grain if it's important enough to our futures.

This race is still neck and neck, and I pray for all of us that we get the best president for our country and our world, whether it's the one I believe is the best person for the job or not, I trust God and I will support whoever our next president is.

All haters are really lovers and I luv ya no matter who you're for or who you're against, because we're all for what's best for our country and our world. It's got me so stressed I'm taking a half a med in the mornings and a half a one at night every day till this thing is decided. We're living history folks and lately it's been edge of your seat, bite your fingernails to the quick exciting/terrifying. Good grief. I've had final days of two pregnancy's that were less stressful!

Luv ya,

Lollie

11/6/2008 the very best psychic I have ever called, out of the hundreds on keen I have called, I erased every single other name off the list over the years except for Lol. consistent, accurate, and gives very sturdy advice that will weather yours storms. thaks!

11/1/2008 want truth, honesty, integrity, and someone to call who has a true gift? that won't waste a nickel of your $ ? then definitely call the one with all these and more!!!! lollie hits the nail on the head every time, truly and faithfully! wow is all i can say!!! has never, ever led me in the wrong direction!!!!! you're the doll, lollie!

Politics shmolitics, wondering how's that man
feeling towards you today?

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Easy ways to increase heartache in your life....

Lollie-ext-5555 — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 17:00:00 GMT

It's easy to feel hurt in a romantic relationship. But still, some folks want to know how they can be more certain to feel more heartache, more often.

Here are some time tested ways to increase your odds of experiencing more heartache in the future.

Shop for your next serious, healthy relationship partner in bars and clubs. Bars and clubs are mainly a hangout for men who aren't ripe to commit. Then be hurt that he is very interested in you and not the least bit interested in commitment.

Fall for an alcoholic or other hard drug addict. No one is more likely to lie to you, steal from you, betray you and abuse you verbally and physically. If mascochism is your name, then addicts are your best game. I'm not saying you can't find someone who does all those things and isn't an addict. You can. But only with addicts can you can truly count on some if not all of the above.

Or, maybe he doesn't have any addiction problem whatsoever, but he does: lie, cheat, or abuse.... Take it personally when a liar lies to you. Freak out when a cheater cheats on you and be shocked that an abuser hit you again. Just don't leave him.

Michael Vick isn't the only man who's mean to animals. If he's mean to an animal, you can count on him to be mean to you. There's many a wife abuser that will never hurt an animal, but there's damn few animal abusers that won't hurt a human.

Want to be hurt in a kinder, gentler way.... by all means believe you want a long term, serious, healthy, committed relationship and then busy yourself falling for guys that are married or gay or Larry Craig.

I can hear some of you hollering now, "But Lollie, I want a good man, a man that is single, interested in my gender, honest, not addicted to anything, faithful AND I still want more heartache!!! Isn't there any way for me to have it all?"

Yes Virginia, you can have a good man who will commit to you and yet still feel hurt a lot more and it's easy! Here's how...
Give him unsolicited advice so he feels like you think he's stupid. And / Or win more than 65% of the arguments so he feels emasculated. In no time at all he'll be giving you the cold shoulder and you'll be wondering if there's another woman.

There is no such thing as failure. We either get what we want, or we succeed in getting something else instead. I've never met a woman who acts like she hates men and or thinks men are beneath her who didn't seem to go out of her way to only choose men from the bottom of the barrel.

Wondering what you can do
to decrease heartache in your own love life?

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My pet peeve isn't short calls....

Lollie-ext-5555 — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 20:02:00 GMT

I've got a pet peeve and it's not short calls. If you've just got one straightforward question I can shuffle three times, count out the cards and give you an answer in 1 to 2 minutes max.

That's easy and doesn't bother me one little bit.

What does bother me is when you call me for a five to twenty minute call, adding money *one minute at a time.* I read a minute, stop, wait, listen to elevator music, read a minute, stop, wait, listen to the music, read, stop, wait, listen, read .... arggggh!!

I start out on track, but about three minutes into the call and I'm seriously doubting my ability to maintain my focus on the ribbon of information that is your reading. I feel like each interruption nibbles away at the clarity of the reading.

In a near perfect career, that is the fly in the ointment. I understand if you have to add money once or twice during a call, but from here on out, to protect my degree of accuracy, the third time the call breaks away for you to add money, we're going to consider that, "bye for now, read more for you later."

Yes, I know it'll cost me minutes (which means money) and maybe a client or two. I've thought about what I'm giving up, considered it from every angle and it's worth it.

Money meets needs and buys numerous pleasures, clients are a joy, but I pretty much LIVE to be right. So two interruptions per call or less and we'll both be happier. Promise. :)

[photo and reading rant © lollie dot com]

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The Rudeness Rant.... (w/pretty butterfly pic)

Lollie-ext-5555 — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 18:43:00 GMT

I took this picture of a "Red Admiral butterfly" (Vanessa atalanta) on a privit hedge the first day I was getting used to my Nikon. You won't believe how absolutely "furry" Red Admirals are until you look at this wallpaper full size. But that's just one of the things I learned that day. I also learned:

Butterflies are fast, flittery little things.
They will not obey. Commands like, "Stop, be still, no wait, don't fly away" all go right in one ear, and out the other.
The best way to get from point A to point B is sometimes a curving, swirling, loop de loop kinda line rather than a straight one.
Even sitting still, they're always exercising their wings.

I was watching this Red Admiral exercise it's wings while I was waiting to catch the picture. I'd never noticed before just how very much they're always exercising. That's when it hit me that if we'd only exercise our power of kindness half as much as a butterfly exercises his wings, we'd be able to fly too.

I didn't want to make a wallpaper specifically about rudeness, so I made this one instead. I figure if exercising kindness can make us fly, it's our regular exercise of rudeness that keeps us stuck to the ground. A short rant has been brewing. I might as well pour you a cup and see what you think.

Pops had enough color and spirit to be a red admiral himself. Back when Pops was still alive, he'd talk to the home health care workers who came in to bathe his wife. He had alzheimers, but that only served to make him more entertaining. One day as the nurse worked around Mama, Pops tried to talk with her. Nothing bad, just polite conversation. "Hi there..... my name is Cleburn, what's yours?..... Hello?..... Nice day we're havin' don'tcha think?.... Can you hear me???" But she refused to acknowledge he was there with so much as a look, let alone answer him.

I wanted to wring her damn neck. But he wasn't my grandfather, so I told his granddaughter/caretaker what had happened. Luckily Deanna was too kind to wring the nurse's neck. That very same day, she politely fired the hateful itch for her amazing rudeness. So remember, rudeness has power too..... power to get you fired.

It's none of my business, but that's never hushed me before, so a word of advice to anyone considering working with the elderly..... if you don't like older people, if you don't enjoy talking to them, being sweet to them and making them smile - DO SOMETHING ELSE for a living. There are all kinds of ways to make money and if you don't enjoy being kind to the elderly, you're a lot better off doing anything else at all. They're a lot better off with you doing anything else at all too.

There. That feels better. I don't have a lot of pet peeves. It's good to get that one out and be done with it.

[photo and rant © lollie dot com]

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or check out one of these first:

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11/6/2008			the very best psychic I have ever called, out of the hundreds on keen I have called, I erased every single other name off the list over the years except for Lol. consistent, accurate, and gives very sturdy advice that will weather yours storms. thaks!

11/1/2008			want truth, honesty, integrity, and someone to call who has a true gift? that won't waste a nickel of your $ ? then definitely call the one with all these and more!!!! lollie hits the nail on the head every time, truly and faithfully! wow is all i can say!!! has never, ever led me in the wrong direction!!!!! you're the doll, lollie!