Intuitive Wisdom, Guidance and Good Reading!

The Dreadful February the 14th

Michelle Caporale — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:51:00 GMT

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The Dreadful February the 14^th

Every year people spend thousands of dollars on Flowers, candy, stuffed animals and jewelry. Is Valentine’s Day really the most romantic day of the year? I say no. It is just another day where retailers make money and women slip into fear mode while men customarily panic over what they should or should not do. I would honestly hate to be a man. The pressure of performing and being Romeo for his Juliet stinks. It’s too commercialized.

Love is a 24 hour 365 day a year feeling. Valentine’s Day means nothing if the rest of the year is rotten and if one day is the only day we have to show someone with gifts how we feel. Gifts are superficial. Flowers wilt and candy gets eaten. Jewelry, well, that does last. None the less it’s all pressure from my perspective.

I once had someone bring me beautiful wildflowers from the yard. They were mixed with bright colors. He wrapped them in a ribbon and wrote “I love you” on a paper towel. I will never forget that gift. It meant more to me then the store bought roses or the Russell Stover candies. He was not in a financial position to buy the “expected” gifts but I am not someone who expects much. Simple things are big to me. I know, you probably don’t believe that but it is true.

Here are some tips to get you through the 14^th whether you are alone or sharing the day with someone special.

One way to not be disappointed is to not expect anything. Keep your mind clear and focus on simple thoughts and things.

“Love is not about a particular day, or about cards, flowers, or even being in a relationship. The illusion that coupled people are happy and well-loved can feed feelings of loneliness or isolation for people who aren’t with someone, and wish they were. Seeing the illusory nature of this holiday can be the first step in feeling better about being precisely who and where you are.”

You know how everyone always says that what you do for a living doesn’t define who you are? Well, neither does your relationship status. Whether or not you’re in a relationship doesn’t say anything about who you are as a person. Don’t let a couple-driven culture make you feel like there’s something wrong with you. Remember that being single is not something to be ashamed of. It just so happens that being single on Valentine’s Day tends to create feelings of self-doubt and loneliness due to all the media messages we’re bombarded with telling us that we need someone else to complete us.

Most counselors will tell you the most important message that single people should remember on Valentine’s Day is that love is not just for couples; it’s for ALL of us. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about celebrating the fact that you have a “special someone” to be romantic with. Look at Valentine’s Day not just as a celebration of romance but as a time to reflect on all the love in your life–your friends, your family, and even your love and appreciation of yourself!

Wow, appreciate yourself. Cool concept. Guys, you don’t have to shower that day or wait in line buying that perfect card hoping its good enough. Ladies you don’t have to shave your legs, make sure your clothes are perfect or have your nails done.

If you are in a relationship how about taking simple steps to show that special person you care?

Fold a piece of paper and write a card out. You can even write a love letter or a funny but caring poem. Pick from that field some pretty wildflowers and grab some cheap ribbon and wrap them together. Tag the card on it. Make them breakfast and bring it over, or serve them in bed.

Make him a fresh pot of coffee, hand him his coffee in his favorite cup with a heart card on it.

Any form of affection is appreciated. Rent a few movies. One he likes one you like. Keep it simple.

When something is shared from the heart and is sincere you really can’t go wrong.

Happy Valentine’s Day – May your year be filled with love and happiness.

May the heart that I love, know in his that I will care for him always. Whether he is near or far, may he see with his heart and not his eyes.

The New Year & Changing the World.

Michelle Caporale — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 09:17:00 GMT

Soon enough 2012 will be here, just as fast as CHRISTmas came and went. Oh how the year's go by.
My resolutions are to really work harder on creating peace. Not just peace in my life but peace that I can share with all.

There are many predictions for 2012 that are not so fun-filled. You probably know this by now. It's hard to not catch the doomsday prophecies. These things concern me like many of you whom have written or asked about.

My true feeling is I don't really know. What I do know is that love and peace start with each one of us. When we are in a state of peace we can branch out by showing love, compassion and giving peace to our family, friends and neighbors. No, this is not a Miss America speech!

If we want to leave a positive mark on the world, we have to start with self. If you are nasty, spiteful, vindictive and demanding you will not be doing much good for yourself or the planet. No, this excluded bad days. We all have those. Whether it be 2012 or the year next, I really do feel humanity has to change it's ways. We cannot live with the mindset of only being out for ourselves. The way to change is to really love and be peaceful with each other.

Let's each try one day at a time, one act at a time.

Happy New Year and let's make this world a better place.

Love, Michelle

A Christmas wish to all..

Michelle Caporale — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 21:05:00 GMT

A Christmas wish to all..

May you never lose your innocence, always hold your grace.
Never lose your laughter; have faith.
Believe in the spirit of CHRISTmas all year through.
Keep hope in your heart, it's a perfect fit for you.

Pray for a world that is filled with peace & love. Then go out and create it! It starts with one.
May you always know in your soul that you are a child of the Lord. Trust, believe.

No matter what the world may serve you hold tightly to LOVE. It is the greatest blessing we all share.

Keep CHRISTmas in your heart always not just today, all year.

Love & Peace,
Michelle

How to deal with the Holiday stress

Michelle Caporale — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 07:43:00 GMT

We have unrealistic expectations for the holidays. Hollywood and songs have conjured up images of a traditional happy holiday dinner with our loved ones. However, because of all these fantasies I really feel the holidays don’t stand a chance! We lose the meaning behind this season. When lowering our expectations we are able to see realistically. Whatever benefit arises, becomes a bonus. We stop comparing what once existed in the past, or what we once were, to what is in the here and now. All that matters is the moment.

With this in mind, de-stressing can be facilitated by writing a different holiday list: the things we appreciate and the things we used to appreciate. We would then change our perception: Is the cup half full or half empty?

Remember the traffic gets crazier. Ignore people. Road rage is crazy enough as it is. Keep your emotions in check. Breathe. The Holidays go one of two ways: People are either cheery and pleasant or miserable and moody. I prefer to be pleasant all year round. It gets crazy. Don’t get sucked into the madness. Get real about the season.

Take time each day to relax, give yourself peace. Maybe volunteering for Holiday events would help you get a better perspective. If you volunteered at a food kitchen it keeps things honest and real. (I do feel this we should all know this is an all year event that people need help).

Smile regardless of the rude, cranky people. Emotions can run high. We miss our loved ones. We wish we had a partner; things may not be so good financially, etc. Count your blessings. When you check into what other people are lacking it certainly helps us feel blessed.

Exercise. That relieves stress, helps build endorphins. Eat well. Try going organic. Veggies are good. This time of year there is always a box of chocolate or cookies hanging around. Try stepping away from the junk and maybe grabbing a pear. It will do your body good.

Keep things in check. Take one day at a time. Enjoy the season for the right reasons not the silly gifts or parties. Keeping things simple is one of the best ways to enjoy every day.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a very Happy New Year to all.

Love, Michelle

IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP REAL OR FAKE?

Michelle Caporale — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 03:51:00 GMT

Sometimes we can easily find ourselves wanting to create a relationship with another because they fit all we desire. It's certainly okay to want and to dream. We all have our ideal partners in mind. When we meet someone and the fit all we have been searching for, the wheels start turning. Very often we can easily create that person to be something they are not. Individuality is to be respected as well as acknowledged. Lying to yourself about who someone is will eventually crash down on us.

Desire is a real kicker. The force behind the feeling is like a rush. It can over take you because we really want to be happy and in love. Being in love is the goal, the real goal is the feeling being returned. Often we make something out of nothing. This is where it gets tricky as well as painful. I pose these questions to you so you can weed out the fake relationships to help you get to the real one. There is nothing like the real thing.

1. Is your partner attentive and makes time just for you? 2. Does your partner call or return calls in a timely fashion? 3. Do they respect you, discuss the future while making plans? 4. Are you always doing the work? If you are that is not a well balanced relationship. 5. Are you being promised the world but given silence?

Have you created a relationship out of friendship or someone you know that caught your eye? If you are ignored, disrespected and no compromise is ever made how can this be a relationship mostly a normal one? We do want healthy normal relationships.

Try not to create something out of nothing. When someone cares they make efforts. There are always going to be exceptions to every rule but customarily when someone really wants to make strides with you or get your attention they will. In reading a situation I am able to inform you if it is fake or real.

Wishing you joy!

Michelle

FINDING CLOSURE

Michelle Caporale — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 22:39:00 GMT

The act of finding closure is as simple as closing the door. But is it? It's not so simple. Simple to say, never easy to do. When I was a little girl I ignored the yelling from my parents;" will someone please shut the door"? I was a kid I ran out the door care free not thinking. Someone once told me these were subconscious things we all do because if you think about it if you leave the door open, you don't have to tell anyone whether you are coming or going or when will you return. Of course doing these things were inconsiderate and always got me in trouble because I owed my parents an explanation. I was the child, not in charge and not an adult. If I took off without them knowing my itinerary they were angry as well as the fact they would become worried about me.

As a kid this was the normal routine. It was always all about who's house I was going to or what friend I was playing with. I had a great childhood so in truth all I had cared about was fun.

As adults, most of us find that closure is difficult. I know I do. It's hard to put a cap on something that I have lost or given up. Something or someone that once created happiness, even if it hasn't in a very long time. It seems so final and sad. It can also makes us feel debilitated. Crippled. If the situation once gave so much joy it's really hard to live in the' memory. Sometimes the memory of it all is actually easier. Less painful. After all, finding closure on a relationship we still yearn for would just be a lie, wouldn't it? Shutting that door would mean putting an end to something we might not feel we are ready to address. Even if you're almost convinced that the happiness that was may never return, we still can find ourselves struggling with letting it go. As they say letting go takes courage. Who wants to be courageous?

If you've already lost your job, or the relationship has already failed, than what are you truly holding onto? You may believe because you are doing other things to keep yourself busy, you feel you've let it go and are moving on. Are you? Usually we are not moving on. It might be in our best interest to perhaps do something totally different so we are creating the closure that we need. Anything that will put the issue to rest. Something that declares you are ready to put the past in the past. Often others do not give us closure we have to give it to ourselves. This is hard.

Closure is just letting go of the past. It doesn't mean that you can't ever take a peak back into it if you want. However, it does mean that you have to let go as it "was" because the way it "was" is gone. For whatever reason it didn't work, it is probably good that it can't be that way again. After all, it didn't work. Perhaps it wasn't meant to be, or that it was, but in a different form than the way it was. We think we should stay holding on to hopes that one day it will work. No one's gettin' any younger. If it was supposed to work it would have. Of course I mean this with respect to a decent amount of time.

Now what if it's true that one door opens when another closes?

No one would know if they did not put any closure on their loss. If you are driving a vehicle and you keep looking in your rear view mirror, you will never see what is ahead of you. What is ahead of you may be pretty phenomenal, important and life changing.

How to decide if it's time for closure:

Write down what it is that you're holding onto and read it aloud. Then ask yourself these questions:

1- Think about what your holding onto. Do you feel happy or satisfied when you think of it?

2- Is it helping you to move forward in life?

3- What will you be missing if I you really do close the door?

4- What do you gain if you let go?

Ways to find closure:

1- Be alone and say it out-loud. Tell your friends. Start thinking about the good things that you can focus on.

2- Call the person you need to let go of or who let go of you. Maybe you can even e mail them. I would only suggest e mailing if you are the one who was let go of. If you are letting go of someone have the consideration to tell them honestly.

3- If that person or even a job is unavailable, write a letter. You can always burn it or save it. Whatever works. It gets it off your chest.

4- Find something new that you can focus on in its place. Something that you can use as a positive replacement.

Remember that the reason for closure is to be able to appreciate the positive things the future holds for you. When thinking in a positive way, think of mental images that will help you along your road. I know it's never easy but we are all so worth it.

Don't Judge It

Michelle Caporale — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 23:49:00 GMT

Someone once told me not to judge it. Judge what? Well, not to judge others or assume and in matters of the heart even when hurt not to judge the love I feel for another. My answer to her was; “Why do I always have to be perfect, why can’t I judge these emotions, they are uncomfortable”.

I took her word for it and started to look at all situations by not judging them or others. I never judged in a reading so why do it in my personal life? This is how I managed: I looked at the situations without too much emotion. I tried to think about what the other person might be feeling I did not dive into to “save” someone. ( I am known for this) I removed their face in my mind and could see they were only human. I removed myself and just let it be.

I did not give them or the situation a choice, I chose not to engage and if I did I thought it all through without ANY expectations and NO JUDGING. It’s hard because we are human. We all want to chat about it while passing our own opinions. It never succeeds, it always fails. Try it! It may help when you are in a bind.

NOW IS THE TIME

Michelle Caporale — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 09:41:00 GMT

We live in a world that is filled with the " I want it now or better yet, I need it now." No respect, no patience, materialism. We as a world have shown each other that we care very little for our animals, all species, our planet, humanity. We kill, lie, cheat, steal, judge and think we can get away with it or fix it later. We ignore the needy, less fortunate or ill.

We think we are entitled. No one is entitled. We all exist here. It would be easier to co-exist. Our children are not being shown right from wrong most of the time. We live in a material world, gotta have it and can't do anything about the rest of the world anyway. Not so and the time is now! Now, today, this moment.

We are all light-workers, you don't need a degree or certificate. Do you come from the light of eternal joy? The man upstairs? The holy one who created all? Good, your in then. So where do you begin to save the world? It starts within and then spreads like fire. A good flame. Now is the time to recycle, volunteer, write your local congressmen, have your voice heard. Sign a petition to save the whales. Plant wildflowers, sunflowers so the bee's can pollinate. Are you aware that Albert Einstein said that once the honey bee became extinct man had four years left on this planet? They are becoming extinct.

Go look that up then think about the why's. We cannot go on hating, judging, killing, lying, abusing (the list goes on) and think it's okay. We are eliminating ourselves through greed. The time is now. Take the high road in EVERY SITUATION. You can understand the jest. Human Beings are pretty stupid when it comes to this kind of thing when we are supposed to be so intelligent. You know where we went wrong? When we became to technically inclined, stopped relying on our instinct and just being nice to each other. Just because we have book smarts doesn't give you common sense. The time is NOW! Not next week or next year.

The Earth is going through many changes and if we are to humbly co-exist we need to love, nourish and respect her as we do the same for each other. Find the good and God in all. There is no competition only love. There is no religion that is better than the other because in fairness I know we are all one and come from one Supreme being. Name God what you will. I call him Jesus.

We are all here to make a difference and a change. NOW IS THE TIME.

"...Soul is the most precious thing you can share, because you're sharing yourself, and the world needs that gift more now than ever. The child with AIDS in the ghetto is waiting for you, along with the starving people of Africa, and everyone else who needs healing. Make the world more beautiful by sharing with me the wonderful feeling you get when your soul is lifted up to become pure love..."

MICHAEL JACKSON

Earth Song
What about sunrise
What about rain
What about all the things
That you said we were to gain...
What about killing fields
Is there a time
What about all the things
That you said was yours and mine...
Did you ever stop to notice
All the blood we've shed before
Did you ever stop to notice
The crying Earth the weeping shores?

What have we done to the world
Look what we've done
What about all the peace
That you pledge your only son...
What about flowering fields
Is there a time
What about all the dreams
That you said was yours and mine...
Did you ever stop to notice
All the children dead from war
Did you ever stop to notice
The crying Earth the weeping shores

I used to dream
I used to glance beyond the stars
Now I don't know where we are
Although I know we've drifted far

Hey, what about yesterday
(What about us)
What about the seas
(What about us)
The heavens are falling down
(What about us)
I can't even breathe
(What about us)
What about apathy
(What about us)
I need you
(What about us)
What about nature's worth
(ooo, ooo)
It's our planet's womb
(What about us)
What about animals
(What about it)
We've turned kingdoms to dust
(What about us)
What about elephants
(What about us)
Have we lost their trust
(What about us)
What about crying whales
(What about us)
We're ravaging the seas
(What about us)
What about forest trails
(ooo, ooo)
Burnt despite our pleas
(What about us)
What about the holy land
(What about it)
Torn apart by creed
(What about us)
What about the common man
(What about us)
Can't we set him free
(What about us)
What about children dying
(What about us)
Can't you hear them cry
(What about us)
Where did we go wrong
(ooo, ooo)
Someone tell me why
(What about us)
What about babies
(What about it)
What about the days
(What about us)
What about all their joy
(What about us)
What about the man
(What about us)
What about the crying man
(What about us)
What about Abraham
(What about us)
What about death again
(ooo, ooo)
Do we give a damn

I DO!

Bringing about peace.

Michelle Caporale — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 09:47:00 GMT

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Bringing about peace..

Every day whether I want to or not, I hear of an earth change or something horrible happening to someone or something. It seems as if people have lost their minds. Maybe true. It’s rather difficult to raise your vibration have faith and be positive when you hear of such things. It is undeniable we are living in very trying times. The State of the Union is upside down. I try to stay far away from any news. It always affects me. I don’t want to be oblivious or unprepared.

I knew of the earth changes coming years ago. Things and people are different since I was a child. Being a child was easy, those were the days.

Can we fix the budget? Can we stop the changes our planet is making? Can we save the earth, our children and animals? I believe our planet is going through some major changes in order to bring about a new world. It is scary, confusing and though predicted still unpredictable. However, if we raise our vibration and start making changes NOW we can all get through these times a lot easier. The world needs healing. People need healing. There is too much hatred, abuse and violence. Nations should not be rising against each other.

The “yes” to fixing things comes to me as thoughts and actions. Here are some things we as a world can do:

Forgive. Yes, forgive every person who did anything to you that was wrong. Let it go. (I know this is easier said than done) Try.

Plant something. We are killing off our trees and vegetation. It’s always a good thing to make oxygen and breathe.

Become a role model to a child or young adult.

Get involved. Volunteer even if it’s 15 minutes a week.

Truly practice random acts of kindness. (Stop perseverating on what you don’t have, think of what you do have) I may not have designer clothes or a home that is decorated with the finer things money can buy but I have clean clothes with a roof over my head. I am simple, not complex. I hope to always have this simple roof over my head and in faith, I will.

Smile at someone. They might think you’re nuts but who cares. Positive helps.

Donate a quarter to a local charity. Who cares how much, it all adds up. Imagine if everyone donated 1.00 to a food cause? We could possibly end world hunger.

Save an animal. If possible you can sponsor, adopt or donate time.

Replace a negative thought or feeling with a positive one. Keep on doing that.

Honor the earth, clean up litter. Bless the ground you walk on and the sky you breathe under. Recycle, please.

Pray! Pray for others, the earth, your family, friends and all you know and have never met. Prayer is not about religion. I care that you pray. I encourage you to walk in faith and not in fear. Fear will hoard all the faith anyone has. Living in fear is crippling. Fear is negative and evil. It can and often does control. I am sorry to say but I believe the powers that be like to instill fear so they can keep us under thumb. As long as you continue to remain attached by virtue of clinging, desire and ego - as long you continue to live in fear - you will see that change or its potential as a bad thing. As soon as you stop, it becomes just a thing - maybe even a no-thing.

Educate yourself. Don’t take the news as the word of God. Take the word of God as the news.

Share, laugh, hug and love. Love is such a powerful force. It can move mountains, change minds and hearts. Be open minded to new people and ideas. Imagine! Try to be in a consistent state of grace.

Granted, this is not so easy to always do. Not impossible. The world needs to be healed so do people. The only way is to start day by day then we can multiply. We raise our vibration high where the planet feels the loving energy. It flows through each one of us carried like a river that eventually will lead out to an entire ocean. That is pretty cool.

Tonight I felt a sense of fear and then I did some things I suggested above. I thought of my children and how I love them. How blessed I am because of them. I spoke to a friend; e mailed another because I deeply care for each of them. I worked, prayed and played with the dog. I looked at the moon and thanked God. I asked for world peace and all nations to learn love and those economic issues will be fixed, jobs will be had. I laughed at a silly show and wrote this blog.

Let peace reside in your heart and pass it on. Michelle

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try

No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought." - (Buddhist saying)

Michelle Caporale — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 08:14:00 GMT

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After painful situations, I believe it is normal for us to re-evaluate ourselves. I am human too and have found myself letting others define who I am or how I should feel. This has never served me, never will and it will be of no service to you either. Trust me.

In my opinion, I am an open book. I trust easily and make friends fairly well. I customarily give people 2^nd and third chances while most would not let you past the first. This is just me. I may even know in my heart that my choice to keep things going will eventually end up in dust. Ya know the kind of dust that is icky and makes you sneeze, the kind that you can’t shake off. Here we roll – well, our thoughts begin to spiral. It’s me, not them. It’s them, not me. Why? What did I do or where did I go wrong?

Sometimes nothing and no one is to blame. People part for various reasons. No chemistry. (Love that one). You just cannot agree. So don’t. Agree to disagree. Often we just do not grow together but grow apart. Friendships go through phases, so do romantic relationships. All relationships do. Some do not survive. It can’t be helped. It still hurts. It hurts and confuses us. I could list twenty questions but I think you get the idea. Yes?

Now that I have done some boo- hooing, is that even a word? Here is my point-

No matter what hurts you, who does it or why, learn from that. Perseverating on it will only keep it stuck in the center of your chest and lodged in your brain. Grieve; feel rotten but certainly not forever. I know this is easier said than done. Been there done that. EW!

What can you learn?

1. What works for you?

2. Someone was dishonest, do you want that?

3. Do you really have things in common?

4. Was that friendship going both ways or just your friend’s way? I personally need my friends to step up for me and they do. If someone is my friend and they consistently miss the boat with me, ignore my needs and we don’t have an even exchange of “friendship”, it’s not really friendship. Consistently missing the boat means they are just NEVER around. Friends can often lose touch but they always catch up. True friends do.

5. Boundaries.. That is a big one. Did you create boundaries?

6. Self Respect. We like to believe we have it, do we?

The lesson is to learn what we want, will and won’t accept. There is no need to tolerate people in our lives who do not create an even balance of love, friendship, kindness and consideration with us. If we feel we are unworthy of all that life has to offer, we will not be receptive to what it is that we are truly wanting. All of us generally want the same things. It is true that we must think better of ourselves in order to attract and associate ourselves with phenomenal people. Each one of us has been created to enjoy life, teach others, love each other and most importantly love ourselves first.

So, step by step put the past in the back seat. Live in the present and look forward to the future. Be hopeful, mindful and move ahead. Forgive yourself as well as others. Think highly of yourself. No one comes into this world knowing exactly what to do. Life teaches us through experiences. None the less, if we do not have marvelous thoughts of ourselves we most certainly will never meet others who will think any better of us. No one can define you but you.

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought." (So True)

MAIN LISTING ISSUES- YOU CAN STILL REACH ME

Michelle Caporale — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 19:47:00 GMT

Please know that I am available and ready to take your calls on my main listing. Keen has been having technical issues with some of my sites. As they are working to fix this, no one can see my bio or what I have to offer so here is the main bio and what you can expect from me. When you do click to call I will be available to take your calls.

A reading with Michelle Caporale is a lot like talking with a best friend. She is open and honest and delivers the answers to your questions with love, humor, compassion and support. Just like any friend that genuinely cares, Michelle is a straight-shooter and will not waste your time by tip-toeing around the truth, as she sees it. She is able to zone in on what someone is feeling and the next course of events so you can make better choices.

Since childhood, Michelle realized she was multi-gifted, which means as soon as you ask a question she immediately taps into the ability that is best suited in delivering the most accurate answer. Her gifts include Clairaudience, Mediumship, Clairsentience, Clairvoyance, Psychometry and Photo Reading.

To prepare for your reading with Michelle, please prepare a list of questions or ask for a general overview, and get ready to take notes. She speaks quickly and she does not retain any details after the call is complete. Egos are checked at the door, so rest assured there is no judgment here – only love and understanding.

What do men really want?

Michelle Caporale — Sat, 14 May 2011 02:48:00 GMT

After taking a poll for several months I have decided to write this blog in regards to what my male clients and friends have expressed to me in what they are looking for in a partner. Interestingly enough it is not what you may automatically assume; “sex”. Women often say that men confuse them and that they are unsure what a man is really looking for. They have tried to please them in the past and it hasn’t worked. Modern men seem to be increasingly struggling to find his place in a woman’s world. I don’t mean that in regards to a profession. I mean it in regards to how men want to connect with a woman and form a bond. Men are not insensitive, rotten *bleep*, as some may say. There are good and bad in both sexes.

Men have started to change and are starting to grasp the fact that their role may not be as it once was. “Starting” is the operative word because this does not mean that there aren’t vast amounts of the world where men insist on being the breadwinner and women should still remain at home barefoot and pregnant. That may a long time to change for those that hold that opinion. However in our western world that seems to be changing. If a couple gets together and agrees on that concept and role, then certainly that is acceptable as both parties agreed and are happy.

So what is a man seeking? (Remember this is from my questioning a group of about 30 men over the last several months or more)

It may be shocker ladies to know that most men are looking for love and a solid relationship. The problem that I was told on several occasions was that many women come across as cold and often aloof. I was told by a client who I will call Jim that his girlfriend was too involved in herself that she did not wish to spend time with him. She professed her love but showed little attention unless she initiated it. Surprisingly he held on until he gave up. She did not cheat, she was just too self involved. He felt each of them should have down or alone time but wanted his time with her as a couple.

Men are seeking a woman who is attractive to them. Women may despair that men can be so shallow and that looks could matter so much but be careful. Men aren’t necessarily looking for a Victoria’s Secret model and many men don’t like women who weigh 80lbs. But men do want a woman who takes pride in their appearance. The men I asked really enjoyed the women that took interest in themselves, it showed self esteem. Just like we want our mates to look and smell yummy, men feel the same. No, they don’t expect us to be dressed to kill every day. Men are proud of having a girlfriend who looks good and I would never believe any man who says otherwise.

Men are looking for a trustworthy girl, someone they can have faith in and someone who will be there for them. Men want to make a home eventually and are looking for a woman who will be willing to share in a home life with him. Women with a sociable lifestyle are attractive because they can be relied upon to keep the social calendar going when it is needed.

Men are seeking women who are feminine gentle and kind because deep down the qualities that make a woman a great mother are an attraction in itself. If a man wants children or has them already he will often look for that maternal side. Do not mistake this for “mothering” him. I was told by 75% of those I asked that was a no- no. It was perfectly fine to take care of your guy if he was sick or hurt but always remember your not his Mother, he has one.

Men want women with a great sense of humor. Women who came across as uptight or too bothered by too many small details were a turn off. You will sometimes hear mention of a girl who is ‘one of the boys’. What this means is that she is able to fit in with their humor and is sociable and fun to be with. Women who just go with the flow in this aspect are attractive to many men. Men want to have a good time and relax when not working. Almost all, who I feel were truthful with me said they really loved the women who were able to do the same, just not turn into a cursing sailor.

Men are looking for women who retain their femininity and are caring and kind. “Soft” was a word that was used. “If I wanted to hear a burp or fart, I would go to my buddy’s house.” It’s not as if we all don’t do those things but all men asked agreed that was not a turn on. FYI- Girls are not that thrilled when the guys do it either. Women have girlfriends and men have their buddies. You can combine the crowd but most have expressed to me that they really get turned on when their girl acts like a girl and girls like guys can be versatile.

Men want someone who is supportive. Many women are quick to criticize men in their behavior, career and can become set about trying to alter them and mold them. This is a mistake. Men and women can be manipulated yes, but they see their partnerships as support systems. The best relationships work both ways in terms of support. Where a woman is not able or willing to give that support and is too quick to criticize then she may lose her man. I as a woman invite constructive criticism but not constant that is non- supportive. If you nag me, I will eventually grow annoyed which always leads to an argument.

Men don’t like angry women who shout, scream or yell. Naturally, we all do at times but I think you know what I mean. They mostly wanted a woman who can debate, discuss and have good conversations. Communication is key and women want this too. A fiery passionate temperament may have made you interesting and challenging on day one. By the time a year has passed most of these men felt it became overwhelming. (That may be saved for the bedroom)

Men love a challenging woman, someone who keeps them on their toes. These 30 or so men openly admitted that they were generally lazy in relationships once they feel they’re secure. When a man is challenged, he does something about it. If you want to keep your man interested, keep him challenged. This does not mean to play games. This is what I was told.

Men are generally more reserved about sex than women. These men who were asked were really kind of cool and open enough to say that know what they like in bed and tend to stick to it. All had expressed that they did not like when their partners discussed their intimacy with friends or family. They felt rather betrayed when hearing their performance was up for 10 pts or less. A few mentioned that even if they were being complimented, they felt it was private information. They also felt that they really liked when their mate was quiet outside of the bedroom and knew how to act like a lady but as the song goes… when the lights turn down low, that was exciting to them. Most women feel the same.

Men want a woman who will commit to them. Men don’t want to be alone. These men also expressed that they really enjoyed friendships first. Several had mentioned that upon not searching for a relationship at that time, the friendship meant so much it spun into a romantic relationship that was totally unexpected. Three particular gentlemen polled had spent many years being friends with their women friends who now are wives; she was right under his nose.

Naturally these findings will not apply to all people; there are exceptions to every situation. I found it all interesting yet not so surprising. Men can be lovable people and do have feelings even if at times some may find it hard to express.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed sharing it with you.

Happiness

Michelle Caporale — Fri, 13 May 2011 07:46:00 GMT

"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances."

- Martha Washington

Lessons from our pets!

Michelle Caporale — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 04:19:00 GMT

When you pay attention to the way an animal/pet behaves you can learn wonderful lessons. This blog is dedicated to our girl; “Coral” who passed away peacefully in my arms on 2/18/11 from congestive heart failure. Our Vet was kind enough to come to my home and do what was needed in order to avoid Coral suffering. Coral is a German shepherd who was a little short of 14 years old. I say this because I know that death is not the end. It is a transition. None the less, my family and I have taken it very hard. Coral is a funny soul, she read people well. Animals have no ego.

They are here to please, love and receive love. They do not have the kind of expectations that human beings have nor do they care about appearances. My dogs have taught me many things and if I continue to pay attention to these lessons, I will surely become a much better person. So, I have listed what I have learned so far from not only Coral but Rizz, Jasmine, Chez and now Joy. 1.I don’t have to dress to impress. I am who I am. No matter what weight or color I am, the dogs do not care. 2.Money means nothing; you really can’t take it with you when you go. 3.Napping is a necessity. You need your rest. 4.You cannot please everyone. (Coral had a way about her, she didn’t care if you did not like her) 5.Ego never gets you anywhere. 6.Kindness is imperative in this world. 7.Things happen that are painful and unfair, love and live anyway. 8.Live in the moment. Dogs don’t panic about tomorrow. 9.You don’t need that chocolate! 10.Run around like crazy, it’s fun. 11.A clean house is nice, a happy home is better. Don’t be obsessive. 12.Work hard, play hard. 13.Who cares about cranky people, you don’t need then anyway.

14.Love is unconditional. (Animals just love you) 15.Holidays are a way to commercialize things. Christmas should be every day. 16.Be kind to the earth 17.Volunteer your time. ( Coral was once my son’s show and tell for the week when he was in grammar school ) My dogs were often taken to nursing homes and able to play with sick children. 18.Kisses are worth having. 19.Being tickled is part of life 20.Get over yourself, don’t take things so seriously. 21.Politics are stupid. 22.War is a bad thing. Peace is better 23.Forgive everyone 24.Farting and burping is part of life. 25.Tex-ting, cell phones and technology matter not. 26.Crying is okay. 27.Laugh your butt off, smiling is contagious. 28.Don’t worry so much if someone leaves you, someone new will come along. The dogs will always stay. 29.Being faithful has it’s perks 30.Your profession does not define you and you are replaceable except to those that love you. 31.Death is not final. Keep it all simple. 32.There is a God. Spell dog backwards; “duh.” I am sure as I grow I will continue to learn more. Coral will be forever in our hearts and memory. She gave us a gift when she chose my children and I and she left us her love when she passed away.

"Is your Relationship driving you crazy?"

Michelle Caporale — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 19:44:00 GMT

I loved, honored and stood through the good, bad and absolutely horrible of situations. Yet, why do I still allow their “problems” to affect me? Am I insane, delusional or WHAT? Yes and no. Relationships are about two people coming together to enjoy their union, family, friends and so on. One of my closest friends once told me that a relationship should never be difficult and if it is like climbing a mountain, it’s nothing but trouble all the way. She is so correct and I love her for teaching me this. Insanity in my opinion can be contagious. When you engage with someone long enough who is unhealthy for you it can become confusing. You can find that you are questioning your own sanity, logic and ideals. So yes and no to the above question.

Two healthy people create a rocking’, azz kicking happy relationship. One healthy person and one unhealthy person create “issues”. Years go by with no resolve and each person is unhappy. You are wasting your time if you are waiting for your relationship to be healthy. “But he/she was so wonderful to me before this.” SO! They aren’t now. Healthy people have friends. They socialize, not withdraw. It’s okay to do things separate from your partner – go out with friends or family. It’s normal to want a little alone time. Healthy people look forward to the future; they try not to dwell on the past. The past is behind you. If you are driving in a car and you keep looking out the rear view mirror you are going to crash because you cannot see what is in front of you. You will miss what is ahead. Relationships will have ups and downs. However, there should be more ups than downs. People will argue and often disagree. That is NORMAL. Constantly being hammered is not normal. Work on it or agree to disagree.

You will feel like you have lost your mind if you are engaging with someone who is selfish, rude and doesn’t have the same values as you. If they have an illness, they need to get help. If they don’t get help YOU cannot rescue them. Superman and wonder woman were fictional characters. Love is not a one way street. Love is precious but both parties have to love themselves as they love and respect one another. If you are being disrespected it’s not going to produce a good partnership. Your relationship should be based on friendship first. Nothing can be better than having your partner as your best friend. If you can’t be who you really are why bother? Don’t try to fake the real you. I promise your true self will surface eventually. If you are genuinely being loving and kind without motives and all you are getting in return is an unappreciative person who does nothing but leave you with a headache, it’s not healthy. (I mean this in regards to the majority of the time). Love is not a contest. You can lose your heart not your mind. Losing your heart can be a happy experience. Losing your mind is something far different. Love has its stages.

You meet, fall in love and stay together. Ah, it’s a wonderful life. Life has moments, it happens. People affect your relationship like your family or job, etc. Healthy relationships roll with the waves of life even when it’s not a walk in the park. It’s okay to not always like your partner. Perhaps you two had a rough day or an argument. NORMAL. If someone is emotionally or physically abusive, NOT NORMAL! If you want to stop the insanity of an unhealthy relationship then make up your mind that you are getting nowhere. Acknowledge what it really is; crazy. Make plans to walk away. Speak to family and friends. Get professional help if you need to. I believe in love and happily ever after. I also believe in being realistic. Happily ever after comes from two emotionally happy people. If you’ve always did what you’ve always done, you will ALWAYS get the same results. Happiness is somewhere right in the middle. Michelle