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A Five-Step Formula to Appreciating Your Soulmate's Differences

Keen Category: Love Advice

An outstretched hand with two small illustrated hearts in the center of the palm

A soulmate relationship is a psychological learning ground and a proving ground for love. You might never consider that there is deeper work to do than just to set up house, build a life together and nurture the love and friendship. The real work is soul work, learning to make the most of the reflection in the relationship mirror.

Your soulmate's approach to solving problems may seem out in left field. They may worship the sun, dominated by logic and reason, while you flirt with the moon, letting your intuition guide you. At times, you may feel as if you are living on separate continents so far apart that it would take a miracle to see eye to eye. If there is little appreciation for the differences, tensions will mount and emotional discord will follow.

There is a great deal to learn and appreciate from someone who is your opposite. Their positive traits, those you are likely to admire most, may reflect what you may need to cultivate. Whether you describe your mate as solution oriented, marveling at they way they their mind works or how they can see beauty in ordinary things, these same qualities may be housed within you waiting to be coaxed out. What is also true is that some pieces of your soulmate's personality may aggravate you especially when they oppose your style or if they use their bravado to usurp your power and dominate the relationship. A shift in your mindset may help you to embrace their qualities without compromising your equality.

Here is a 5-step formula that will help you appreciate the differences:

Shine the Light on the Differences

Take an inventory of the qualities, personality characteristics and talents your soulmate possesses. They may very well reflect pieces of your own personality and intelligence that lie undeveloped. As an example, let's say your soulmate is methodical, attends to details and won't make a decision until all the facts are there. You, on the other hand, can't be bothered with the details, are more spontaneous and fun loving. The contrast is immediately evident when you want to throw all caution to the wind and he or she wants you to sit down and make a budget. How to live with someone who is in opposition to your way of thinking is a big question. By noticing how your soulmate's style complements yours, you begin to see the psychological purpose of opposite attraction. The aim is to bring into balance your two intelligences, yin and yang (the emotional/intuitive side and the rational side), and to blend what could be interpreted as competitive styles into a productive partnership.

Appreciate Your Strengths and Compliment Your Soulmate's

Sometimes it is difficult to identify our positive traits and appreciate their value, especially if we feel diminished. Recognize the qualities that you bring to the relationship and how your unique intelligence complements your partner's. At times your soulmate may need to learn from your lead more than you need to learn from theirs. Whether or not your soulmate appreciates your abilities, compliment theirs. When we give what we seek the most, the result can be surprising.

Bring Out What Is Inside You

You may want to try to develop the very abilities and qualities your soulmate has mastered. For instance, if your soulmate is a whiz at writing, you may need to spend sometime developing the same skill. Who knows? You may discover a hidden talent. Or, if you deem your mate overly extravagant, it may be that you have denied yourself for too long and need learn how to pamper yourself too.

Blend Your Strengths Into a Dynamic Partnership

Research shows that the most successful soulmate relationships are those who own a business and work side-by- side each and every day. They value the time they spend together and have learned to blend their talents and abilities into a successful partnership. Even if you only start a small project together, you will learn to appreciate each other's abilities more and build mutual respect.

Strive for Equality, Harmony and Balance

Surrender your gender roles and the legacy of inequality between the sexes. The battle has gone on far too long. Appreciating the reflection of your partner's positive traits doesn't mean that you should submit or surrender your will to accommodate their wishes or approach. Or that you value their brilliance so much that you feel dim in comparison. Neither of you will be fulfilled in the end if you don't appreciate and value yourselves and your God-given talents. Remember that your unique qualities when blended with your mate's are meant to create harmony not discord. The path of enlightened relationship is one of equality, harmony and balance.

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