How to Find Love

Keen Category: Love Advice

A woman, surrounded by illustrated hearts, searching for love with binoculars

When am I going to get the man I want? How do I find the love I desire? Most psychics hear these questions everyday.

I was listening to a friend of mine talk about wanting to go fishing. The weather is beautiful, a perfect time to go to the country, find a stream or lake, and cast a line in the early morning light. Those were almost his exact words. As he was chatting with a couple of others around us, I started to drift. He was talking about the different lures he had, his new hip wader boots, and his pole. He even had his old lucky hat to protect him from the Arizona sun.

I started thinking about love and about one of my clients who talked about having a hard time finding it. It dawned on me that love has this magical presence around it. I think sometimes we think the good fairy delivers it like a wish. True enough it is a gift from God. However, some of us show up to love without the tools to recognize it, catch it, develop it and help it grow. It is like trying to fish without bait, a pole, and maybe without the stream.

So what are the right tools to catch love?

  1. Self-Respect
    If you don't believe in yourself or treat your body and life with respect, then no one else is going to. When I am reading a man who loves a woman, he shows me she is physically attractive, but also how she lives her life – her interests, skills, goals, etc., are a major part of the attraction.

    I can also tell when he doesn't respect her; when there are repetitious patterns – he keeps cheating, and she keeps taking him back. He treats her poorly, and she is more concerned about the next time he will call her, rather than caring about what kind of mate he is. This is when guys say, "Big turnoff!"

  2. Appearance & Personality
    A woman doesn't have to be movie star thin or beautiful. There are as many types of beauty for men as there are types of men and women. I am talking about self-care: clean, neat, dressed for the occasion. We all have good points; put some time into your appearance. As far as the personality goes, men and women want to have people listen to them and smile at them. They also like to see a partner treat others around them with dignity and kindness – this is a big turn-on! Ladies and men both honor other people by listening and learning about them. Someone who talks about himself or herself incessantly is unappealing to say the least. It seems sometimes that basic politeness has become secondary to being direct, saying what we feel and standing up for ourselves. It is as if we do not know how to socialize without it being all about "me."

  3. End the Dating Games
    A little mystery is great. It keeps a spark going. Playing hard to get, always being evasive instead of having a good "clearing the air conversation," well, it gets old. Don't take it from your dates and don't do it to your dates. Be a grown up. I have been taught, "Keep your side of the street clean." What does that mean? Don't do anything you don't want done to you.

  4. Seek Available Mates
    Spirit never judges people; however, you do not have to go to every event you are invited to. Boundaries are very loose as to what a commitment is. If a woman is living with a man but not married, are they committed? Well, only they know what the intent is. However, if you are looking for a good relationship with long-lasting potential, one of the poorest places to find it is with a person who is involved with someone else. It will cause you pain in places you did not even know you had.

    Karmically, you could work stuff out, or you could take on more issues with someone who is already in a relationship, or with this person's mate – issues that could have been completely avoided. 9 times out of 10, he will not leave, run off with you and live happily ever after. Again, this is not about being judged by your spirit guides; they will always love you. This is about getting the best possible chance to "catch the best and biggest fish in the pond."

  5. Make Sure They Pick You Too
    Finally, along with being attracted to and getting along with a potential mate, remember to "pick the people who pick you." It is a turn-on to be loved, wanted and appreciated. So if the person you choose is not doing that for you, let him go. Someone who wants you will put in the effort, be willing to compromise, and move forward with you.

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