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How to Turn Your Relationship Around

Keen Category: Love Advice

A woman behind her husband as both give the 'thumbs up' to their relationship

Do you want to save your relationship, but you suspect that you love your mate more than he or she loves you? Sometimes it only appears that we love our partner more than we are loved in return, although, sometimes there really is an inequity in love. It can be hard to open our hearts and continue to give love when we don't have faith that our love will be received in kind.

It is not uncommon to have clients who have manifested a love opportunity that is unequal. They may feel more intensely and, in addition to being more emotionally supportive than their partner, they may even offer or provide financial or other support. Giving without receiving in kind can create an energetic imbalance.

None of us consistently has unlimited energy. We accrue or cultivate energy through diet, exercise, and through energizing or rejuvenating experiences such as resting and relaxing, reading, watching films, gardening or making art. What energizes us is deeply personal.

Sometimes, if we find we are in a love relationship where we give more than we receive, we can feel drained or sucked dry. It may seem like our partner is an energy vampire. We may unconsciously blame this person for our reduced energy. We may feel angry, frustrated or disturbed, and mistrustful.

Erich Fromm, an internationally renowned social psychologist and humanistic philosopher, wrote:

Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.

I know from working with clients, and in my own love life, that it can be an extreme act of courage to choose to love, to give oneself completely in an act of faith, believing that the beloved will return our love.

When our partner seems resistant to our expressions of love, or we disagree about a particular issue and we can't seem to find a solution, we may need to withdraw our attention from the relationship and our partner and focus on our self. Our relationship may seem particularly stuck, be unbearably painful or frustrating at this time.

Even if you think there is no hope, there probably is.

There is always inner work you can do; journaling, drawing, and meditation can help you to get in touch with and work on your own issues about being loved and loving your partner.

Your partner may be reflecting your own concerns about the relationship or about being loved. If your mate is distant and unavailable, ask yourself if you have a resistance to going deeper in love. Was love and a connection to others a source of pain in your family?

Or, perhaps you harbor neediness and fears of abandonment and loss of love. Do you push and push and push your partner for greater intimacy, to share thoughts and feelings and for more closeness? Do you get extremely emotional, fearful and jealous, needy and insecure? Maybe you were betrayed in the past, or perhaps you have never really trusted this person. Whatever is going on with you is your issue. Your issues are meant to be handled by you.

A good psychic should be able to tell you if your partner is cheating or not. If this person is unfaithful, you will likely wish to leave the relationship. If your mate is faithful, you can probably turn your relationship around by focusing your energies on yourself and healing your issues … instead of continuing to focus on the partner and partnership.

Anger, mistrust, panic, fear, jealousy, suspicion, insecurity, and other out-of-control emotions only freak your partner out, triggering that person's own relationship issues. Learning to use tools and techniques for self-discovery, transformation and healing will allow you to avoid downloading negativity and being too directive with your partner. When you connect and communicate in your relationship from a calm and loving place, your partner can relax around you. He or she can feel peaceful and worry free.

For many people, there is only now. This means that if you are behaving in an overwrought and negative manner, you are unpleasant to be around and your partner will perceive you as an overwrought, emotional, and negative person. If you are constantly or frequently this way, it will be nearly impossible for your partner to remember that you are actually a fun and interesting person that he or she loves and cares about.

Seek and use the tools you need for your own healing. Take the time to heal your insecurities and fears, and you will be able to turn your relationship around.