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Reading Between the Lies

Keen Category: Love Advice

A couple in discussion, man has fingers crossed behind his back

Honesty is the best policy, or so they say. In this case, "they" may be absolutely right! We are living in a world where a lot of people are dependent on superficial elements to get what they want in relationships and business. There are many people who will use whatever they have at their disposal in order to come out on top.

There are also people who put themselves out there in a genuine fashion, but who get conned because they are too trusting. There's nothing wrong with trusting someone new who may appear to have an interest in you personally or professionally. Unfortunately though, many people who seek out psychic readers are confused and fearful regarding the intentions of their business and romantic partners (or potential ones). If you happen to be in a situation where you feel someone is trying to pull a fast one or you're worried that you could be overreacting, this article is for you.

The Lies of Omission

Is it really lying by omission or can leaving stuff out be a method of self-preservation? It can be a little bit of both. But depending on whom you're dealing with, omitting pieces of information while describing a situation could in fact turn into a lie. Put yourself in the hot seat; if you were to tell a story to your lover about being at the bar, conveniently forget to mention a mild flirtation and then it comes out, your mate could possibly feel betrayed. He or she will wonder, "If you can keep this kind of stuff from me, what else are you hiding?"

If you feel the need to keep things from your partner, whether you think it's stupid or you are fearful of their reaction, then you probably aren't truly comfortable with your relationship to begin with or you're up to no good. If you are really into that person, don't withhold any information. Most likely you're only going to create an unnecessary insecurity and that will make the situation worse.

A healthy relationship is one that allows both parties to be who they really are without feeling judged, fearful or insecure. Don't you want the "love of your life" to accept you as is? Okay, then don't project a false bravado or omit the truth – it always comes out in the end.

If you have discovered that you are with someone who tends to lie by omission, it's best to check out of the relationship if you are not happy.

I Want to Believe Him, But …

Many people come to a reading with the, "I want to believe my sweetheart, but …" scenario. The issue is usually this: The mate says one thing, does another and then makes excuses for the behavior. You may want to give the object of your affection a second, third or even a fourth chance to prove your gut instincts wrong.

However, the problem with giving all those chances and not seeing change is that you're the one who needs to make a change. You need to drop that person like yesterday's garbage and make yourself available for someone with pure intent and great follow-through. If all you seem to get from your mate are broken promises, then giving a fifth chance won't instantly transform your relationship. Only you know what works for you and what doesn't, so if you're okay with constantly feeling "let down", then you only have yourself to blame.

Are You Knee Deep in Someone's BS?

People leave clues when they portray themselves as someone they are not. Below is a list of guidelines to help you avoid getting involved with individuals who aren't genuine:

  • They say one thing and do another
  • They may be too agreeable all the time
  • When challenged, their body language shifts and/or they get real defensive
  • They make excuses for their actions, never being accountable
  • They can't keep their stories straight
  • When confronted, they project the issue on to you (placing blame)
  • They leave out pieces of necessary info that would complete their story
  • They always find a way to play the victim
  • They make outlandish plans for a future together prematurely (the too good to be true facade)
  • They carry a jealous, resentful and/or extremely fearful disposition

Engaging In Self-Sabotage

Sometimes we can misconstrue the behavior of people we're dealing with in both our emotional and professional lives. We think someone is being dishonest when he or she is not. A lot of folks will try to decipher the intentions of their coworkers and come to a less than favorable conclusion. It can happen more often during times of a bad economy and job instability.

Feeling lost and insecure are natural things we all experience. We wouldn't be human if we didn't have these feelings from time to time, but this sort of negativity, if dwelled upon long enough, can eventually destroy the foundation built for success.

According to the Law Of Attraction, you can draw both positive and negative outcomes. What you put out to the Universe does in fact come back to you, sometimes 10-fold. We can sabotage our work environment and relationships, generally when we're being pessimistic, by assuming something is true when it's not. We can also sabotage our lives by believing a daydream without having a solid experience to back it up. By doing this, we can place all the real stuff on hold until we see the truth in the situation.

Are You Overreacting to Someone's Behavior?

Check the list below to see if you might be sabotaging a potentially good relationship:

  • You constantly question what's going on without concrete proof of wrong-doing
  • You need your lover / boss to validate you all the time
  • You're always wondering when the other shoe is going to drop due to past situations/fear
  • You freak out when your mates or dates don't call exactly when they say they will, and even when they do call, you berate them with questions
  • You analyze people's motives when they make plans that don't include you
  • You judge people based on their behavior in past relationships
  • You take part in stalking tactics like breaking into email / voicemail or drive-by's
  • If you and your ex are getting back together, you hold the "what went wrong" stuff over his or her head
  • It doesn't take much to trigger jealousy and resentment
  • You find manipulative / secretive ways to get what you want

The Real Deal

Trying to figure out whether or not someone is being truthful can be an adventure. We can fly from extreme highs to lows in a matter of hours while analyzing our situation. We berate ourselves for knowing someone wasn't exactly forthcoming and honest from the very beginning. Or we brand ourselves victims once we get to the absolute truth.

Our emotions and egos have a tendency to cloud our judgment while going through the process. The key to making decisions that you can not only live with, but be happy with, is to let go of the "what if" factor along with anger, jealousy, resentment and fear. Don't beat yourself up for missing the truth. We all have our moments and we wouldn't be able to move forward without that tough lesson. Some people get it in a timely fashion and others need that extra kick in the pants to wake up. The most important thing to remember is this:

If you are honest with yourself, the answers to your most pressing questions can be found within.

Once you get to the heart of the matter, you need to accept what you're seeing, feeling and experiencing as the absolute truth and only then will you be able to take that leap into a future you can be proud of.

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