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Why Matches Made In Heaven Sometimes Fail

Keen Category: Love Advice

A gold wedding band lying on an open page of a dictionary, encircling 'divorce'

It is amazing how many singles cling to the myth that a soulmate relationship is supposed be perfect, guaranteed to work even under the worst circumstances. After all, the fairytales promise of "happily-ever-after" should be engraved in stone when it comes to "true" soulmates. If it were not it wouldn't be considered the ideal and so important to quest for.

When soulmates drift apart because they fail to establish a bond after they meet or the relationship crumbles because of irreconcilable differences later on, it is heart breaking. The promises made before the incarnation remain uncompleted, a tragedy for both souls whose evolution demanded the fulfillment of a destiny.

Matches made in heaven descend on earth and if all goes well they bond in commitment. Many do and their success at developing and holding onto the love between them is an example to everyone around them. But many soulmates never make it to the altar and even some not past the introduction stage. Why? Perhaps, they are simply not ready. They lack the maturity to recognize the spiritual connection and how perfect their soulmate's qualities are in complementing their own.

When physical attraction becomes more important than a heart-felt love and friendship, a man or woman may pass on the opportunity for a soulmate who seems more like an old friend, thinking that sexual attraction is a necessary ingredient to lasting love. Conditioned mindsets and cultural imperatives of ideal body types, compatibility tests that profile a match and wish lists of qualities that represent ideals can send one hunting for a match that doesn't exist. Unrealistic expectations can be difficult to shake because they are constantly validated by our culture. They become mindsets that drive desire and influence personal tastes in the mate selection process.

Soulmate relationships can be very challenging. Growth is demanded in each life through a series of lessons that challenge the ego to surrender to love and to respect the commitment. Before the incarnation, a set of goals and pre-conditions were agreed on, some of which would be difficult to achieve even under the best circumstances. Abound with love and feeling the pressure to complete, two souls may have been overly optimistic when they drew up the plan for the lifetime. The hardships they chose may have proven too hard to bear. In some instances, the same emotional patterns are repeated and soulmates fall further from grace compounding their karma.

Although, not every event in a couple's life is predestined, some potentials as well as limitations were written into the destiny plan. For instance, one partner may have agreed to help the other grow emotionally and heal psychological patterns that the soul perpetuated in several incarnations. They are meant to shine the light on any weaknesses in their soulmate's character and demand growth from them no matter how much they object. Or one partner may be psychologically more mature and find it difficult relating to a mate living in the dark ages. For many at this time, the lessons revolve around establishing equality in the relationship. Some may find it difficult to value their mate's point of view and to choose equality over more traditional male and female roles especially when they subconsciously cling to their parent's legacies. Tired of fighting the battle of the sexes, they decide to part ways.

When there is a lot to make up for in this life, because of past life karma, the lessons can be inordinately difficult. One partner may wonder what on earth they did to deserve someone whose cup never seems to fill no matter how much love they are given. It would be awful to discover you killed your soulmate in a previous life. But, if you keep your promises to them in this life, you will redeem yourself in their heart.

Negative memory impressions from past lives can be carried into this life and sometimes interfere with the bonding process. The ghost of memory triggers a strong emotional response, a response that may send a soulmate running in the opposite direction. One woman whose soulmate relationship failed its tests described the feeling as, "Sometimes we couldn't be in the same room due to the strong energy."

Soulmate relationships fall apart for all the same reasons that any relationship does. Unfaithfulness, addictions, or a poverty of love, whatever the reason, soulmates who cannot learn to break through their destructive patterns will eventually give up trying and lose interest in keeping the relationship alive. Some will find it unimaginable that their relationship is without hope and may find it especially hard to let go. A soulmate's tug at the heartstrings will make some men and women put up with abusive patterns far too long. Sometimes it is necessary to leave the relationship to redeem it.

Twin souls have a lot at stake in keeping the connection going even after the break-up. They may dream of each other at night and connect psychically from time to time. The may even imagine a time in the future when they will reunite. In fact, it does happen that soulmates are offered a second chance. A man I interviewed said it took 15 years before he reconnected with his soulmate after he failed to respect the commitment the first time. He was grateful for the second chance. Where there has been significant growth with milestones achieved, twin souls may reconnect for a second chance. If they do they are offered a great opportunity to forgive and begin again at fulfilling their important promises.

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