Stop, Drop and Roll!

Keen Category: Love Advice

A couple about to engage in first-date sex

Stop, Drop and Roll … remember learning this safety technique when you were a child? It tells you how to put out a fire.

Well, the next time that you are trying to start up a new relationship and you are tempted to "Stop, Drop and Roll" for the new man in your life, think carefully about whether or not the time is right to become physically intimate.

There is no magic number of dates, weeks, or months necessary before intimacy should occur with a new partner, but there are mitigating factors. First of all, what type of a relationship are you hoping will develop? If you are just casually dating, have no desire for a serious relationship and would like to be physically gratified, then by all means, "Stop, Drop and Roll" for him.

However, if you are hoping that this relationship will develop into something a bit deeper, try using these keywords to determine if it is the right time to allow yourself to bond physically and psychologically with this man.

  • Stop: How attentive is he? Does he call when he says he will? Does he see you on a regular basis, keep dates and make you feel wanted?
  • Drop: Has he dropped the other women he is dating, or is he still playing the field?
  • Roll: Do you have fun together? Roll with laughter? Can you picture yourself rolling forward with him into the future as he is now, or do you imagine trying to change him as you progress?

It may seem like I am using an old-fashioned moral barometer by asking you to consider these questions before jumping in the sack. However, morality has nothing to do with my stance. Although your individual moral values will guide you to the right time, there are actually biological reasons for delaying sexual gratification with a new partner.

The female brain produces dopamine and oxytocin during sexual activity. Due to nature's programming to ensure the procreation of the species, these two hormones cause the female to bond with her sexual mate. We may be living in a new millennium, but our brains still function at a prehistoric level when it comes to the survival of the species.

So, if you proceed with physical intimacy prior to going through the "Stop, Drop and Roll" process, you may find yourself physiologically bonding with a man who will not Stop being inattentive, has not Dropped other women, and who wants to Roll in the hay with you and any other woman he may be dating.

Is this what you want? Chemicals being released in your body causing you to bond with a man before he is ready, willing and able to bond with you? You will find that even the scent of this person may set off a chemical release, causing a physiological reaction that creates a bond with someone that is not right for you.

So, when is the right time to become physically intimate?

  • When he stops and uses his time to pursue you.
  • When he drops other women and the pursuit of other women.
  • When he rolls forward with you exclusively.

Stop, Drop and Roll will put out any flash fires and allow you to fan the flames of true love. Set yourself up for successful relationships: Stop, Drop and Roll!

Related Articles

Other Articles by Advisor "Brigid Bishop"