10 Steps to Survive a Breakup

Keen Category: Love Advice

Close-up of a pair of hands holding torn halves of the King of Hearts and Queen of Hearts playing cards, symbolizing the breakup of a romantic relationship

I am here to tell you that – Yes, you can survive a breakup and move on to a healthier relationship! Of course it's not easy. There's nothing easy about releasing what you had hoped would be the relationship of your life, even though you were the one doing all the work, planning and dreaming for the future.

When you let go of a relationship that brings in negative energies, confusion, and heartache, you open the door for something better. That's all there is to it.

Many of my callers say to me, "I can't let it go." There is a huge difference between "can't" and "don't want to." You have to make a determined effort to cut ties with Mr. "Oh So Wrong." Liberate yourself by taking the following 10 steps:

  1. Toss the photos or delete them from your computer.

  2. Be grateful for the experience / relationship – now you know what you don't want.

  3. Don't beat yourself up – it isn't your fault that the relationship didn't work.

  4. Know that you can't fix your partner. The feeling of failure often accompanies a relationship breakup. It's not a "failure" – it just didn't work.

  5. Your ex is not going to change. Attitudes can shift but the fundamental personality of someone does not change.

  6. Stop saying, "If only …". Forget "if only" and accept that this is the way it is. Don't compare your relationship to a future or potential relationship.

  7. Live in the present. Today is a gift – that is why it is called the "present."

  8. Stop resenting the time you "wasted" – you just didn't get the full return on your emotional investment.

  9. Don't rehash in your mind all the things that were wrong with the relationship, and don't dwell on the things that were right. It broke up for a reason – it wasn't balanced. You put more effort into it than your mate did … and it didn't work.

  10. Know that someone else is coming along. You are not meant to be alone. Fill your soul with things that make you happy, and you will glow from the inside out.

You aren't alone. There are many others that have experienced the heartache of a breakup and survived. Not only can you survive it, you can thrive and be gracious about the experience. Turn your grief to grace – and presto! – the Universe will drop Mr. Right in front of you. Opportunities are everywhere; you will be able to see them once the dark cloudy residue from your previous relationship clears. Come on – you can do it!

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