What to Do if You Think He's Cheating

Keen Category: Love Advice

A couple on a dinner date, with the woman demanding to see who the man is texting

How do you manage the suspicion that your significant other may be cheating? The problem with harboring fears of infidelity is that a simple suspicion can impact your life in many ways: you may suffer from insomnia, a lack of focus or become depressed and withdrawn. If you suspect your significant other is having an affair or if you already have proof, this article is for you.

First of all, take control of your life and immediately deal with your suspicions. There are two courses of action that you can take: "research" the possible infidelity or confront your partner verbally (calmly of course). Be aware that either of these courses can have negative repercussions. If you investigate the possible affair and it turns out that you are completely wrong, you risk losing your partner's trust. If you talk openly about your feelings and your mate has been faithful, it could damage your relationship. On the flip side, an unfaithful partner may just become more careful in covering his tracks. To follow up on your suspicions or to understand the best course of action, you can always contact me or another friendly advisor on Keen.

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So how do you proceed if your suspicions are found to be true?

Come Up with a Plan to Manage Your Stress

You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel safe and have 100% of someone's love. Confronting the situation allows you to quickly move on regardless if you decide to stay in the relationship or leave it behind. Infidelity is by far the most difficult thing to get over in a relationship. It haunts one for a very long time and it is very difficult to repair trust at even the most basic level. Your partner must be willing to provide whatever comfort is necessary for you to move forward with your relationship. If your partner is not cooperative in helping you, there is very little you can do on your own to "fix" what is broken.

Open Communication Is Essential if You Decide to Stay

A good therapist who specializes in marriage or couples counseling can be very helpful. If you aren't honest with each other about why your mate had an affair and about how you were impacted by the infidelity, you will never be able to rebuild the relationship and you could find yourself constantly obsessing over the situation.

Take Care of Your Physical Health and Well-being

Regardless of what your partner says about using safety precautions, get checked out for STDs. If it is uncomfortable to go to your regular doctor, you can call Planned Parenthood; their testing is typically very affordable. It will be emotional, so take a trusted friend with you or make sure you have someone to talk to when you return.

My last piece of advice: don't stay in the relationship if it is "dead" and can't be repaired. You are the one who will end up suffering and never get what you truly deserve – a positive, loving and safe relationship.

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