When Can I End This Booty Call?

Keen Category: Love Advice

A split screen with a man in bed on the phone with a woman yelling into her cellphone

In many relationships, the physical passion dominates all else. There is little that can top knowing the guarantee of physical pleasure that a familiar intimate lover delivers. But a relationship needs many dimensions to survive and they need to be dynamic and enjoyable in order for your partnership to thrive. If you are in a relationship that is centered around sex, no matter how pleasurable it is, you are in a one-dimensional relationship with little room for growth. You might be hoping that there will be more – if so, there are ways to transform your booty call into your complete love relationship. But be warned: the success rate of making this shift is very low, and some obstacles in your way are classic stall tactics designed simply to extract the physical pleasure you provide with no true affection or intention to be intimate and loving beyond the physical sphere.

The Four Booty Call Scenarios

Here are the obstacles to turning your booty call into a more substantial relationship. If any of these ring true, you are being played for sex and not for your partnership.

  1. He Is Married
    If you are the booty call of a married man, you are never going to be anything more than the booty call of a married man. You will be lucky to get a birthday present and you will likely spend your birthday alone.

  2. He Wants An Open Relationship
    A man who says he wants an open relationship is not a man with an open mind. A man who is intelligent and creative would understand that building a life together with you would be more fulfilling than playing around with a few women who either have lower standards or are dumb enough to believe he will open his mind one day. Do you resemble either of these types?

  3. Mister Timetable
    This booty call is downright insidious. While he is getting your absolute best in physical passion, he is promising that you are going to get all of him once a certain timetable is reached. Once he graduates, once he gets the promotion at work, once the divorce is final, once his teenage kids turn 18. You are asked to just wait and are even given a relatively specific date. All the while he is getting the best of you and giving little beyond the physical in return. As the date approaches, don't be surprised to see a convenient new timetable established.

  4. Nothing Else To Offer You
    Once you two are done with yet another wild sexual encounter, take a minute to look at what there is about him beyond the physical. Does he have anything going on? Does he have a future? Does he still live with his mother? You might enjoy the sex, but a good look around could terrify you at the possibility that he would want more out of the relationship.

Six Techniques to Transform Your Booty Call

So those are the obstacles. When is enough enough? When do you end this booty call relationship? Instead of spending months or years fighting through these obstacles, you can use a few confrontational techniques that could transform your booty call into a serious, total relationship that embraces your whole life and not just your body.

  1. Withhold Sex To Get A Reaction
    If all he is interested in is the sex, hold out to see what other possibilities lurk. Explain to him that you two can sit and talk, but cannot touch. It will likely be difficult for you to be alone in the same room with him and not start tossing off your clothes, so move on to Confrontation Technique #2…

  2. Break Your Ritual To Get A Reaction
    One thing that keeps a Booty-Call-Only relationship together is the consistency. There is a ritual to how your get-togethers are arranged and what occurs when they happen. You need to break the ritual at various points as a wakeup call to him that "booty as usual" is over. Perhaps you ignore a text from him that he intended as a signal to let your ritual begin. When he calls you to confirm that you two will be getting together, talk about the weather, ask him how old his mother is, bring up your desire to travel to Europe. He called with the idea of setting off the normal chain of events. You can break the ritual and see what he is made of and how well he interacts with you when you are behaving outside the box.

  3. Arrange A Meeting With Him In Public
    He might have an aura of confidence and a mystique of sensuality when you two meet up in his bedroom or at a hotel. But try to get him to sit at a sidewalk cafe for lunch near his office and see if perhaps he is a shrinking violet in the outside world. By arranging a meeting in public, you force him to show a different side of himself that is not just flesh and touch. Is he willing to show you any side of him that allows you to gain a more complete and intimate knowledge of just who he is?

  4. Give Him An Ultimatum
    In working to overcome the obstacles he has placed in your way, you need to be direct about your intentions. You must toss aside your fear of being dumped and lay your cards on the table. You must tell him that you are looking for more with him and give him an ultimatum to commit to that. Your ultimatum should include your desire to meet and mingle with his friends and family, date in public on a regular basis and to commit to monogamy. Give him a week to think about it and do not grant an extension on starting up this new phase of the relationship.

  5. Start Dating Other Men
    If you have not gotten the response you want from him, start dating other men. Do not date them as booty calls. Date them as … well, dates! Go to the movies, let him buy you dinner, look on the internet message boards for cute single guys who share your passion for a favorite band, sports team or other activity.

  6. Focus On Self-Improvement And Hobbies
    When you dump your booty call, you may feel pangs of longing for that physical satisfaction he brought you. You can fill this pain by pursuing self-improvement in reaching out to the universe and asking it for what you want. Envision your life complete with the things and people you most enjoy. A hobby and a pursuit of your own interests will take you away from the emptiness of waiting around to be one man's pleasure princess. Make the move to be the queen of your own Universe and a real man will emerge to be your king.

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