Why Do Men Prefer to Stay Single?

Keen Category: Love Advice

A single guy, surrounded by available women and a guy friend

Ever wonder why guys prefer to just date women rather than to settle down and commit?

Simple answer: Freedom

It may seem disappointing that the guy you are interested in does not want to commit even after telling you so, but the truth is, men would rather stay single than have a woman strap them down. Men fear that they will lose their freedom, their independence and even their toys and gadgets.

If you have ever been involved in a relationship, you know that compromise is the key. Men want to keep all their stuff; from the football that their ex-girlfriend gave them, to a torn t-shirt that they use to clean their cars. What often happens, is that a new girlfriend comes along and takes over his life. She tosses out everything that he believes is valuable and now he feels that he has no say-so in his own life. Suddenly the guy has a curfew and rules about whom he can hang out with. He may even be told when to take out the garbage or when to go out. These were decisions that he had control over and now he feels he has no control.

Lesson 1: Try not to control your man unless you want to lose him to someone else or to his own singlehood.

Another reason why men prefer to stay single is to continue playing the field without feeling committed to one woman. He may care deeply for you, but is not looking to have a relationship. If you ask, "Why isn't he ready for a relationship? … I am," the thing to remember is, he is not you. You may be ready, but he is not. He wants to take his time, date and have sex with whomever he feels like. If you think you can push him into a relationship, then you are deceiving yourself. He may be open to dating you, but he may also be thinking, "I'll date you until the next best thing shows up."

Many men have priorities in their lives other than relationships and marriage just isn't the necessity it may have been a few decades ago. This doesn't mean that your man never wants to marry. But he is saying that he doesn't want to marry now, and he doesn't know if it's you he will marry.

Lesson 2: Give him time and don't push him into a direction that you may later regret.

A final reason why men prefer to stay single is that they end up with more in their pocket. Men fear that a woman will push marriage because she wants to become dependent on the man. Men sometimes don't mind taking care of their women, but they also are not looking to be someone's sugar daddy. The beginning of their expenses begins with "the ring." You may feel that you need a ring on your finger that will cost him a few thousand. Next will be the cost of a home, vehicles or furniture. Soon it will turn to paying all the bills and other expenses.

It may sound a bit alarming, but men fear that they will be broke by the end of the relationship, especially if they have experienced a divorce in the past. Establish your own independence, but also send a message that you do need him in your life for other than security reasons. For example, don't depend on him for the bills, but let him know that you need him to help you around the house. He will feel needed and wanted and will give you a deeper love and admiration.

Lesson 3: Treat your man like a friend and let him know that you can communicate and spend time with him without the need of other resources. A date at home watching a movie will make him feel closer to you than a date night at the movies. You will begin to notice a significant difference in your relationship that will draw the two of you closer together.

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