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Is It the Real Thing or Just a Romantic Fling?
By Ariadne Green

Faces of a couple in love, with the woman wondering if he's authentic about his feelings for her

So you've fallen head over heels and the signs are all there. He's the one you have been dreaming of. Or is he?

Many times women who believe they have met their soulmate fail to ask themselves the question, "Where's the proof?" But does a woman need proof when she's immersed in the rapture of passion, and tells herself that only a soulmate could resurrect her sexuality and make her feel this alive again?

Even the sanest women experience momentary lapses in judgment, let down their guard too soon and succumb to seduction. But when a woman projects something as divine as a soulmate onto a womanizer, she has a real problem discerning fact from fiction. She is likely only looking through the lens of her desires and captivated by her own passionate feelings. While in the throws of Eros, the god of intoxicated love, she is third-eye blind, lacking intuition as well as the voice of reason.

Projection of "soulmate" onto any man who shows an interest is a common behavior to women. So strong a woman's desire for the romantic ideal of being intertwined with her soulmate that she will ignore the obvious signs to the contrary, abandon all sensibility and misinterpret the product of her emotional longing as the confirmation of intuition. If she thinks back she has likely done it before and promised herself she would never again be so stupid. She may continue the pattern if she has not developed enough insight to recognize that the soulmate-like qualities she has projected on men were only the product of her imagination and wishful thinking.

How does a woman recognize her tendencies to create a soulmate out of thin air? Here are a few common mistakes women make:

Equates Sexual Magnetism and Physical Attraction with Spiritual Chemistry

A smile from across the room from a potential "Mr. Right", for some women can produce a hormonal rush. Neurotransmitters go wild releasing dopamine and pheromones to produce a natural high. She might deem it "love at first sight" if she has captivated his interest. And she'll likely attribute the attraction to the divine power of a spiritual connection if it develops into a full-fledged romance. But is she right? Not necessarily.

True spiritual chemistry, the kind experienced by soulmates, is something far more powerful and beautiful. A divine spark is lit and a higher intelligence of harmonies match and blend producing a familiar tune in each of their hearts. The connection with her soulmate will heighten a woman's consciousness and intelligence rather than reducing it to instinctual drives and mindlessness. She is raised to an awareness of the divinity of the relationship and cognizant that the reunion of their souls was "meant-to-be".

Pick Up Lines Immortalized as Love Sonnets

What woman wouldn't want to be told she was as beautiful as Madonna, the brightest star in the sky, as wise as the ages and so on. Seemingly sincere words uttered in the heat of a passionate moment are empty words if not attached to a committed heart. A woman is apt to make herself lovesick if she memorizes the words, reciting them over and over again in her head as if they possess some divine power to heal all feminine wounds. She will tell herself only a soulmate could see her in such a divine light when in fact she has been seduced by a Casanova.

Considers a Man Who Looks Like Her Romantic Ideal Her Soulmate

Attraction to masculine characteristics and physical features that make the heart flutter may merely be the result of conditioning to physical ideals and stereotypes of manliness. A woman may also hold up male qualities such as stability, rational intelligence, fatherliness or even machismo and insist on them as her standard for a soulmate. If so, she has constructed her own archetype of a soulmate and will fall in love with the first man who projects her ideal. In her mind, because he's everything she wants and admires in a man he's "the one". Her personal tastes, however, may have been way off base. Her true soulmate may be an altogether different breed – an opposite who complements her own qualities rather everything she wants in a man.

Allows Her Emotional Hunger for Love Override Good Judgment

A woman who has been without a mate for too long and is starved for love, is apt to let her emotional needs override her good judgment. Her decision will be to take the leap, enjoy a passionate romance with the first man who shows a real interest in her and not think about the consequences to her already vulnerable emotional state. She will feast on the sexual advances of the man who courts her, fully expecting the romance will lead to a long-term commitment and fulfillment. And when it doesn't she will mourn the loss of something she only thought she had. In this case, the love she felt from him was illusionary, created out of her deep desire for a mate who could love her – her soulmate.

Discernment can be difficult for a woman who lacks insight into her emotional patterns and the conditioning that drive her choices. With psychological maturity comes better discernment. A woman who knows herself because she has examined her previous tendencies and understands her emotional needs is less likely to have a repeat performance. For her, no fling is a substitute for the "Real Thing."

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by Ariadne Green
Ariadne Green, MS, is a dream and soulmate expert and author of Divine Complement: The Spiritual Terrain of Soulmate Relationships. http://www.ariadnegreen.com.
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Published: December 4, 2009















 
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