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February 18, 2010

Why Won't He Propose?

A wedding cake topper, in which the bride is holding the collar of the groom who is attempting to run away

You've been together a long time and despite the fact that you seem meant for each other, he hasn't even mentioned the "M" word. There are as many reasons "why not" as there are stars in the sky, but basically any guy not popping the question is doing so out of fear. However, getting a good read on a guy is about as unlikely as getting an actual count on those stars.

While it's good to talk to your friends about the situation, friends are not always impartial and they may offer up bad advice. If you find yourself needing help in laying things out in a pragmatic way, a visit to a psychic may be what's warranted to help you see the bigger picture.

Astrological-based psychics, when armed with the birth date and time for both you and your man, can show you what is good and bad about the relationship. Or you can call a psychic to have a reading using Tarot cards, runes or some other method of divination. A Tarot reading can let you know if the time is right, if it should be postponed, or – in some cases – canceled altogether.

If you think he wants to get married but has not yet broached the subject, do keep in mind that men simply do not have the same concept of time women do. Pick any couple that has been dating for six months. If you ask the woman how long they've been together, she will proudly say, "Over half a year." Ask the guy the same question and he'll mumble, "Oh, a couple of months, I think."

Most women have that subliminal clock ticking away, which almost immediately puts an end goal in their minds, while guys cannot see past next Monday night's football game. Is it any wonder that most guys get that look of confusion on their face the first time marriage is brought up in conversation?

It's trite but true: Actions speak louder than words. Help overcome his fears by showing him, through your actions, that his worst nightmare won't come true if he gets down on one knee and pops the question. But first you must figure out what major thing is scaring him the most. There are six main fears that will stop a man from proposing marriage:

  1. Fear of Commitment

    Face it, we all have too many choices today. Soup or salad? Paper or plastic? Unleaded or premium? If he's the sort who agonizes over the smallest decisions, getting him to commit to one woman will not be the easiest thing. To his way of thinking, the minute he settles down, that one perfect woman will show up and he'll be trapped because he committed too soon. Give him time, try not to pressure him, but also let him know it's not realistic of him to want you to wait forever.

  2. What's Your Experience? Keen Polls by PollDaddy
  3. Fear of Change

    He's positive that with the wedding vows comes a complete change in his current lifestyle. This could be a deal-breaker if he really enjoys his current lifestyle. If you currently spend every waking minute together, let him go out with the guys. Let him see that you understand he has friends, buddies he's had since long before he met you, and you do not expect your marriage to replace that.

  4. Fear of His History

    He's afraid his past will come back to haunt him. Has he been married before? Was he once jilted at the altar? Does he come from a broken home? He needs to know just because his ex ran off with a rich doctor or that his parents fought every day of their married life together doesn't mean your life together will emulate that.

  5. Fear of Your History

    He fears your past will come back to haunt both of you. If you've had several lovers and he's only had a few, he may feel as if he is lacking in bed. If he's the type of guy who spends cautiously and saves wisely, while you've got several delinquent credit cards and a car that is about to be repossessed, he may fear that your prior actions can hold your relationship back. Assure him that he's a great lover. Try to emulate his financial way of thinking to show him you aren't always a frivolous spender.

  6. Fear of What He Has to Offer

    He may be a pre-law student, waiting tables at the local eatery and he is seeing only what he can give you now. You, on the other hand, can see the two of you working together as a team to get each other through school and out into the real world. You're not worried about what he can give you now because you can see the big picture. Let him know the skimping you go through now will be that much sweeter when your goals are accomplished together.

  7. Fear That You'll Say No

    Sounds silly, right? However, if you've been ultra-patient and have avoided scaring him with talk of weddings and such, he may think you are not willing to get married. We all face fear of rejection every day of our life, but what bigger response is there to fear than to the question "Will you marry me?" That is a blow to an ego some men never recover from. In a conversation casually drop in a nonthreatening sentence. If you're watching a travel show about Fiji together, you could say, "That looks like the perfect honeymoon getaway." And then change the subject. Once a few hints are out there, he'll realize you'll probably say yes when the time comes.

Sometimes there is a lot brewing right under the surface in any relationship, and it is often the things not readily seen that can cause problems or give hope in a relationship. Contact a psychic to bring the subliminal to the forefront. Finding love is easier than you think.

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