Star Struck Chronicles

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven"
Men Love Iron Buttercups

Long before the days of Steel Magnolias there were Iron Buttercups.  An Iron Buttercup is a woman most often associated with the South, but she does not have to be from the South or have even stepped foot in the South.Nor does she need an accent! She is self possessed, possesses self confidence, and always responds/acts like a lady in public. She understands loyalty, and is willing to give everyone a chance unless they prove her otherwise wrong.  She is generally attractive.  She may not be movie star drop dead gorgeous, but has learned to make the most of what she has. This is a lady with her own mind.  She may or may not always speak it, but make no mistake, this woman is no pushover and everyone knows it.  Men like her because she sets boundaries from the beginning, and an Iron Buttercup knows men don’t go for doormats. (Neither does she)  When a man captures an Iron Buttercups heart, he knows he has something valuable. Such a woman is a challenge, making it all the more appealing to him.

While Iron Buttercups are often found in the South they can live anywhere, and they can be from anywhere.  They’re found throughout all walks of life/social stratas and in all cultures.  Long ago, they were originally born and bred in the South which is why so many of them remain today.

Iron Buttercups are seldom found in abusive relationships or for that matter bad relationships with men, at least for very long.  An Iron Buttercup may be divorced, separated, or she may have at one time been in a relationship with a man who was an alcoholic, cheat or abuser, but that’s the past, and she will not repeat history a second time. An IB can be a bitch, but only if deserved. A woman can become an Iron Buttercup at any point in her life.

Here are the Top 11 relationship tips from the Iron Buttercup Guide to Happiness with Men which has been handed down to women for generations.

1-Never chase a man-Men are the natural born hunters so the chase comes naturally to them. To chase a man defies the laws of Buttercup nature. An Iron Buttercup knows the only relationships worth pursuing are with men who are interested in her. (This does not mean a woman can never take the lead) A wise old Iron Buttercup said, "Men are hunters, women are gatherers: let the man hunt you!! Gather the benefits".

2-Never call, text, Facebook, or email a man incessantly.  One text perhaps, one call until he returns communication. And only if you have reason to believe he is interested in you. Preferably, he contacts you. Many Iron Buttercups NEVER call a man unless returning a call.

3-If he doesn’t return the communication back off. Don’t continue to try and communicate with a man who is clearly not interested. If he is interested, he will call back, even if there is a delay. Remember this most of all.

4-If you have been dating someone who suddenly disappears, shows a lack of interest or starts dating someone else, back off.  Hold your head high, stifle the instinct to cry and go into an emotional spin and get on with your life instead! There is plenty to see and do and the next and better man is just around the corner! This is your mantra, use it generously. And Never, never, never, put your life on hold to wait for a man to come back around!

5-Drop him like a hot potato if he abuses alcohol or drugs on a regular basis-it will only get worse.  If he abuses you physically or emotionally, mistreats you, is a sex addict, makes fun of you, or treats you in a condescending manner. If he lies to you, wants money, or you find him active on a dating site after establishing an intimate relationship, drop him fast. Look up the words narcissist, addiction, and psychotic and Understand what they mean.

6-Drop him like a hot potato if he mistreats your children, parents,family or pets. Things will get worse, not better.

7-Every man you meet is not your soul mate. Every man you are interested in will not become your husband/boyfriend.  You have to kiss a lot of frogs to meet a prince.  Meeting your next husband or soul mate is not an everyday occurrence, and not every relationship will work out. Learn the art of moving on gracefully instead of holding on, turning him into a deserted shrine. No one said it was easy, but it is necessary if you want to find the right man and insure your own happiness in this life.

8-Never give up your own interests. Don’t put your life/interests on hold for a man.  Don’t give up your interests in the pursuit of him and his interests.  An Iron Buttercup knows a woman with her own interests is an attractive one who has something to talk about.

9-If you choose to date a married or otherwise committed man, understand you roll the dice, you take your chances.  This is a risky situation at best, likely to end in a train wreck. If it does not work out move on, and do not be bitter.  Understand that married men seeking other women often lie or change their minds. Naivete is not attractive if you are over 25. Some men lie-frequently, and others will say whatever they have to, to get what they want.

10-You are not in a committed relationship unless you have a ring on your finger, or made and received a verbal commitment as such and both parties agree. If you are not committed, you are free, and so is he. No IB lives as a committed woman, if she is not. If you are not committed don't tie yourself down to a man who doesn't want commitment. If you are committed and he is not, you are not committed. Do not make allowances because he is scared, has baggage, or has a commitment phobia.  You are both committed or you are not.

11-The Golden Buttercup Rule-You must love yourself first. You must protect yourself and not put yourself in bad situations. If you are in a bad situation that causes unhappiness and pain, get out of it now! Never wait for him to 'change,' as chances are he won't and you are wasting your life.

# re: Men Love Iron Buttercups @ Friday, May 11, 2012 3:46 PM
Loveeeee it!
# re: Men Love Iron Buttercups @ Friday, May 11, 2012 7:37 PM
Very empowering blog, thank you! It reminds me of women who are 'iron fists in a velvet glove'; they're tough underneath the soft exterior.
Thanks for the reminders of knowing your own self-worth.
# re: Men Love Iron Buttercups @ Saturday, May 12, 2012 7:13 AM
Great blog Leslie as usual.  I wish all women would take advantage and follow the tips!  Learning to love yourself is a priority I believe because you will never make the correct decisions in your life until you do.

# re: Men Love Iron Buttercups @ Saturday, May 12, 2012 8:02 AM
At the end of the day, it is totally about self worth!
# re: Men Love Iron Buttercups @ Thursday, May 17, 2012 7:34 AM
Thank you so much for sharing!!  Dating isn't easy, but with these words of wisdom it definitely helps ease the process!!
# re: Men Love Iron Buttercups @ Thursday, October 11, 2012 2:12 PM
Awesome blog!  I can identify but I learned my lesson & got out.  Thanks!
# re: Men Love Iron Buttercups @ Thursday, October 11, 2012 3:09 PM
So that makes you an Iron Buttercup! Welcome...
# re: Men Love Iron Buttercups @ Thursday, October 11, 2012 3:14 PM
I love this. Damn, why didn't I read this when I was 18? we women find this out by trial and error that everything you say here is absolutely true. You forgot the NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE too. too many women forget how powerful that is.
# re: Men Love Iron Buttercups @ Thursday, October 11, 2012 5:23 PM
Good one.
# re: Men Love Iron Buttercups @ Thursday, October 11, 2012 6:38 PM
LOVE IT, LESLIE! Intelligent, empowering and exceptionally well put!
# re: Men Love Iron Buttercups @ Saturday, October 13, 2012 5:37 AM
the best part of life is waiting almost 30 years for your perfect partner...
# re: Men Love Iron Buttercups @ Monday, October 15, 2012 11:57 AM
yes, sometimes it is a wait.  Perfect does not come every day, or every year.
# re: Men Love Iron Buttercups @ Friday, August 16, 2013 7:51 PM
..."If you are committed and he is not, you are not committed....  What part of this don't you understand!?
# re: Men Love Iron Buttercups @ Sunday, August 18, 2013 11:19 PM
LOVE this & love your writing!!! Thank you so much for this. You're such an inspiration!

Anonymous comments are disabled