Finding Joy by Marie Anna

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Astrological Nonsense

I have been doing readings and advising for over 15 years. It's been longer than that, but I would prefer to make myself out to be younger than more experienced.

Up until the last 3 years, I thought that sun signs or zodiac signs were nonsense. Now, after reading a person, I can peg their zodiac sign about 90% of the time without the querent revealing it. Out of that, I can tell if they are a fire, earth, air or water sign about 99% of the time. There's truth to this nonsense. I now buy it hook-line-and-sinker.

Below is a greatly plagiarized piece, with bits that I have added to increase the impact. Of course these are gross generalizations, but there are kernels of truth in all abstracts.

The personality traits of the twelve signs are as follows:

  • - Aries (The Ram) (fire, cardinal, personal): Keyword: "I am". Freedom-loving, assertive, individualistic, independent, intellectual, pioneering, leader, action-oriented, fiery, straightforward, passionate, powerful. Can be extreme, arrogant, intemperate, violent, headstrong, impulsive. In relationships they like to feel as if they have won the affections of the other. They tend to be very self centered or seem to be selfish about love. They like to be the heroes as well. This is not true for all.  From dates March 21 to April 19.
  • -Taurus (The Bull) (earth, fixed, personal): Keyword: "I have". Resourceful, thorough, devoted, patient, sensual, affectionate, cautious, musical, artistic, solid, earthy, strong, sturdy, kind. Can be slow, possessive, stubborn, acquisitive, indulgent. In love, logic tends to rule. They also want their partner to be as devoted as they are. From dates April 20 to May 20.
  • -Gemini (The Twins) (air, mutable, personal): Keyword: "I think". Logical, inquisitive, lively, active, curious, multi-tasking, talkative, sociable, duality, mercurial, whimsical. Can be superficial, two-faced, inconstant, restless, impulsive, headstrong, stubborn. From dates May 21 to June 21.
  • -Cancer (The Crab) (water, cardinal, personal): Keyword: "I feel". Protective, sensitive, tenacious, family and home oriented, helpful, nurturing, watery, emotional, loving. Can be crabby, clinging, moody, worrying, pessimistic. I frequently tell my clients to "ride the wave". Many times if a Cancer seems emotional or emotionless, it has nothing to do with their partner.  From dates June 22 to July 22.
  • -Leo (The Lion) (fire, fixed, social): Keyword: "I will". Generous, proud, theatrical, passionate, sunny, bright, kingly, powerful, loves attention, dramatic, independent, noble, creative, leader. Can be arrogant, bossy, boastful, egotistic, snobbish. Try to remember with this sign it is the thrill of the chase that makes them feel love. Strange but true, if they feel like they have caught someone and have their heart they frequently aren't interested any longer. See it as if they are real lions. Once a lion has caught it prey, they are satisfied and walk away. From dates July 23 to August 22.
  • -Virgo (The Virgin) (earth, mutable, social): Keyword: "I analyze". Practical, imaginative, creative, efficient, critical, work and service oriented, common sense, modest, health conscious, mentally active, helpful, flexible. Can be pedantic, fussy, over-critical, worrying, over fastidious. In truth about 80% of my readings are about Virgos. People whom love them tend to be very frustrated because they are so hard to read. They tend to be hard to read because there is so much activity in their heads.  From August 23 to September 22.
  • -Libra (The Scales) (air, cardinal, social): Keyword: "I balance". Co-operative, diplomatic, urbane, fair, needs partnerships, refined, balanced, graceful, charming, debater, just, open-minded, social. Can be lazy, indecisive, dull, rationalizing. Libras tend to really need their partner to be balanced, resources and not a source of problems but solutions.  From dates September 23 to October 23.
  • -Scorpio(The Scorpion) (water, fixed, social): Keyword: "I desire". Passionate, secretive, powerful, keenly perceptive, deep, complex, analytical, inquisitive, resourceful, magnetic, intense, hypnotic, sexual, perspicacious, creative, vigorous, , ambitious. Can be jealous, controlling, possessive, aggressive, cunning, cruel. This sign can be maddening. I tell clients, "Scorpios are the only ones that actually speak Scorpio. It's like Finnish or Hungarian. No one else should bother to try to understand those languages unless you are Finnish or Hungarian."  Oh and this sign is one of the most obstinate. Never tell them what they are thinking and never tell them what to do. Don't jump off that bridge: SPLASH. From dates October 24 to November 22.
  • -Sagittarius (The Archer) (fire, mutable, universal): Keyword: "I perceive". Freedom loving, straightforward, extrovert, philosophical, intellectual, fun-loving, arrogant, adventurous, expansive, optimistic. Can be blundering, scattered, careless, jealous, too-serious, tactless. These individuals also will jump head first without thinking. They will invite you to an overnight without having even met you.  From November 23 to December 21.
  • -Capricorn (The Sea-goat) (earth, cardinal, universal): Keyword: "I use". Prudent, cautious, patient, methodical, practical, reserved, ambitious, authoritative, competent. Can be saturnine, suspicious, rigid, cunning, over-cautious, pessimistic. These individuals tend to be the glass-is-half-empty people. They are always trying to circumvent calamity. From dates December 22 to January 19.
  • -Aquarius (The Water Carrier) (air, fixed, universal): Keyword: "I know". Democratic, unconventional, detached, friendship oriented, humanitarian, cause-oriented, believes in the group/society, progressive, sophisticated, trend setting, magnetic, independent, objective, opinionated, devoted to goals, outspoken. Can be eccentric, elitist, dogmatic, aloof. These people are the "mad scientists", the lofty thinkers, those "ideas in the ski" people. They best deal and communicate in nuisances. From dates January 20 to February 18.
  • -Pisces(The Fishes) (water, mutable, universal): Keyword: "I believe". Imaginative, sensitive, compassionate, feeling, idealistic, spiritual, accepting, undiscriminating, creative, mystic, self-sacrificing, artistic. Can be impractical, neglectful, escapist, lazy, distracted. This definition is so true. You cannot push water up hill. They are impossible to convince of anything once they have something in their head. Even logical proof does not bring them into reality. "I have my mind made up, don't confuse me with facts." From February 19 to March 20.

If you are one of these signs and you are offended about the above text, I bet I can nail your sign!

For additional reading I would suggest, Love Signs, by Linda Goodman.

Endeavoring to be useful and helpful,


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