On the journey of manifesting partnership, especially if we’ve
adhered to the rules of the superstitious “think it and you will see it”
version of manifesting so prevalent these days, not getting what we want can be
extremely frustrating and yet an all too frequent occurrence. So frequent that
we begin to doubt that manifesting our perfect partner is possible. The old
paradigm would have us believe that if we repeat our affirmations, think only
good thoughts and focus only on what we want than our darling in shining armor
And yet so often that is not the case.
So often we remain rooted in the same patterns and thus same
Too frequently do we work hard to manifest healthy
partnership only to lament not getting what we want.
But we are getting
what we want because having is evidence of wanting.
I am sure like many of my manifesting clients you are
thinking that you didn’t want to be
cheated on. That you didn’t want a
non-committal partner coming in and out of your life. That there is no way you wanted to be single for the past 3
years. In fact, you actively tried to avoid it going on date after date after
And you are right-you didn’t consciously ask for any of
But your subconscious did.
Want to know how I know this with absolute certainty?
Because it’s what you have and if you have it then on some
level, some part of you feels worthy of it.
Our subconscious has
two main functions when it comes to manifesting
First our subconscious serves as the generative, feminine
aspect of the self (regardless of what sex we align with). Whereas our
conscious will, where the ego of self-identity resides, wants the yummy, good things
that life has to offer, the length of this life, our subconscious wants the
length and the width of this human
experience. This includes the messy, emotional, heartbreaking and yes, also the
yumminess of life.
The battle between our conscious will and our subconscious
desires is not really a battle at all since our generative subconscious wins
every time, but the gap between the two is why we remain caught in relational
patterns that loop over and over again.
So why the gap?
The subconscious is the home of the beliefs which inform our
lives. Beliefs bred from the modeling we were exposed to from our
parents/caretakers, peers, community and media as well as our experiences
throughout this formative period of our lives between utero and 14. When wounds are created, and we are exposed
to toxic modeling this is imprinted upon us and programs our brains with these
beliefs which then creates a loop which we repeat over and over and over again
throughout our lives.
To explain this process further let me tell you about a
client of mine who struggled to leave her husband despite no longer being in
love, feeling mistreated and craving healthy partnership in her life. She
resisted the notion entirely that subconscious beliefs from her youth could
impact her today. She boasted about having great parents and a pretty “normal”
upbringing. And yet through digging and exploring her subconscious she
unearthed a memory of a peer telling her in the 6th grade that she
was not good enough for someone she was interested in because “he was too nice
for her”. Unknowingly this created a
belief and thus a program in my client’s brain that she was unworthy of nice men.
She reflected back and could see how
this belief shaped the type of man she would seek out in all of her previous
relationships. This explains why despite her husband horribly mistreating her
she felt she had no choice but to resign herself to a life with this abuse. She
simply didn’t believe that she was worthy of a nice guy. As we rooted out this
belief and helped her to create new programing she was able to finally leave
her husband and find a relationship that was healthy, loving and respectful.
She could not leave until she changed this programming
because of the rejection of her conscious will by her subconscious beliefs/desires.
If we equate the generative quality of the subconscious with the womb than the
conscious will is the seed. If the conscious will differs from the subconscious
belief, it is rejected. It is our subconscious beliefs which program the brain
to accept only information and experiences which align with our beliefs.
Anything that comes our way that does not fit that mental paradigm is rejected.
Each one of us, regardless of where we come from or how good
or bad we would characterize our formative years of 0-14, have encountered
imprints and modeling that have given life to our beliefs about who we are,
what we are worthy and capable of. Many of these beliefs hold us back and
hinder our expansiveness in all areas of life but especially our romantic
And it is these beliefs which subconsciously inform the
present reality we are living. A belief on the subconscious level is a
continuous loop that has us stuck in patterns related to our relationships and
our interaction with romantic partners.
Peeling back the layers of these subconscious beliefs
remains a crucial step in stopping the patterns by uncovering the subconscious
beliefs and creating new programming that allows for what we desire to manifest
romantically to come to fruition.
If you would like to explore how your subconscious beliefs
may be holding you back from finding your perfect partnership you can arrange a personal session with me. I will help you peel back those layers while supporting and guiding
you through The Process I’ve devised that allows for you to achieve alignment
of your subconscious desires with your conscious will, thereby ensuring you manifest
your perfect partnership.