The letter D - that has way too many words and or names that come to mind in a quick five minutes. Deal, Dang, Darn, Dance, Doodle, Double, Diana, Doubt, Drama, Day, Dwell, Dream, Dad, Duty, Dog, Deed, Dublin, Defamation, Draw, Drew, Degree, Depth and Drive!
Just random words and or names with it comes to mind when I think of the letter D. I am not really sure I have anything significant behind the letter D that stands out more than one that I never even thought of until I started to write and that is Divorce.
Relationships in life are hard and they take work no matter what type of relationship it is friend, family, pho, love, marriage etc. They are all work. What you put into the relationship the rule of thumb in order to be successful is what you get out of the relationship. Most people look at their relationships as 50/50 and really you should look at them as 100/100. It's just a principle that I learned early on. You will know when you are putting in 100 and getting out 50 or maybe even closer to what I call zero.
I know divorce can be super hard especially for those who have children as it's hard on kids to not see the parents that they love not together as one at the same time maybe the relationship wasn't right to begin with one never knows as each relationship is different as to why or why not it works or it doesn't. I just know that when they are kids involved it sure can be tough.
It's the relationships without kids involved that totally perplex me when it comes to the world or word divorce. It's just one of those things that a Jypsie is thinking about this evening as I have one of those divorce's in which seems to be the never ending divorce of a lifetime. It's one of those things where you are like I don't need the drama and divorce is what the solution is so I thought.
I sit at my desk several years after the fact to ask myself what did the divorce really achieve starting with the paperwork. I have what I thought was an iron clad one that was very defined out inside of it has a life long order of protection but yet I have had zero protection so when I speak to my clients to whom have difficulties of all kinds I just want to let them know not only can I empathize with them I truly do have compassion for what they are going through in life when it comes to relationships. This divorce was the relationship or lack thereof that I call the one that was and is enough to last me a lifetime.
I could literally write a novel that would probably be better than Fifty Shades of Grey throw in the Day in the Life of Twisted at Seven Levels where Snapped and the I.D. Channel came together and created crimes of passion. Honestly I am just lucky to be here to even write about it. We read all kinds of different things in the news but we rarely talk about ourselves as no one wants to be known as the victim it's just not a fun place to be however, it's very true on when the victim decides to come out and speak about it except I am not going to wait thirty years to do it.
I probably wouldn't even write and or talk about it if it wasn't something that didn't happen on a daily basis to the point where you get tired of sitting in silence waiting for something to happen but knowing it will never happen if you don't speak about it. So when I take your calls believe me when I say I totally understand nine times out of ten what you the callers are going through as I have just about seen it all over the last few years to say the least.
I truly thought that a life long order would mean just that but apparently the person isn't able to read the order and or share it with anyone as it states that you are not to use anyone or anything to annoy, alarm, torment, torture, harass, harm, embarrass when it comes to me, my children, my business, my family anything to do with me. It's very rare that someone actually has a life long order they are usually only two years that should give you the full understanding that a Jypsie has been through and seen quite a bit to get granted such an order when it comes to a divorce.
Here is a great example of how something like that looks when it comes to the big picture and small picture of life. In the big picture it means that the person can't go to a friend and or business affiliate and try and use them to leverage anything to do with me surrounding anything about me. It means that they can't do things like have their ex calling family members or using public civil servants to do any of the above either it's just one of those things that is part of the Public Doctrine of Law when it comes to the protection of one with such an order when you are a victim of many things.
I try not to call myself a victim but rather a survivor as victim seems so deep even though it's the truth. It has almost cost me my life not once but at least three times in three years. You can only imagine the journey it has been to say the least.
It's almost so very hard to even write about it not for fear of being the victim but when you are still dealing with the victimization as no one wants to put forth the effort to put a stop to it you really don't have a choice but to talk about it and share your story when it comes to the reality of all things. At some point you have to get it out there and share it with the world at the same time not only help yourself but letting others know that I am here to help you as well!
I truly understand what people are going through but what I feel is they don't know what I am going through. Do you know what it is like to have one thing in your world change daily because the abusers can't leave you alone?
Can you imagine living like that it's probably how small children feel locked in the closest with no food or water for days on end, or the prisoner of war to whom is tortured with no relief. It might even be like the true story of the woman who lived in a box under the bed for nine years before she ever was able to escape and tell her story.
It's that profound at the same time you get used to it. Some days you try and find the humor in the fact that you can't call anyone or no one that needs to reached not because the you don't have a phone it's just that the phone you have doesn't allow it for some odd reason. Then you find on a daily basis you can't get into your school, work or bank accounts but yet you have the proper identification for them but others don't. It's just one of those things that you learn to live with and do not let it affect you. Doing what I call rise above but not sure how much further I have to rise above based upon the facts of such an equation.
For me I am just grateful that I have mellowed in my age and have learned what is called temperance and or to be calm about certain things at the same time having the faith that maybe one day the world will realize that not only have they violated me they have violated every extension to me which goes against that order and I pray that they figure that it's inside the decree before I end up like Kathryn Stewart Morse which is a true case that can be researched as mine is just like hers except for it's laid out color by number.
Maybe this is not the place to blog about the trauma and victimization that I have been through and or am a victim of but in reality it's the perfect place as at least someone will always be able to find a Jypsie not to mention I teach others on how to move through life of these types of issues. I would not be a good advisor or leader to others had I not walked in the steps before them in order to effectively guide them.
Truly the hardest part about the whole thing is to not just blow up and start calling out the exact things that happen daily and have for almost 5 long years.
Being a Capricorn with such deep roots who comes from a culture and heritage that it takes all I have to not say what I really feel, wish or desire let alone turn my cheek and go the other way knowing that Karma will catch up and handle it one day here soon.
Either way it's something that I just really felt like sharing with the world of readers to let them know that trauma and or drama isn't fun and if there is anything I can save another from having to go through what I have just know that the Jypsie is an advisor that will do whatever it takes to guide you away from anything remotely close to what I have been through as a true guider of light.
With that said I have picked a card tonight called Diana known for focused intention. Diana is a Roman Moon Goddess who carries the silver bow and arrow given to her in childhood by her father. She is a goddess of tenacity which means she sticks to a decision and she does not allow outside forces to sway her. She is one of positive mindset at the same time she takes actions focused on her target, and she will make her mark by knowing her priorities at the same time of taking control of the situation and releasing the doubts she will see the action through.
The card was not drawn in conjunction with the word D but I must say it could not be more applicable based upon my writing tonight about Divorce and the Decree inside of it that is an order that must come to light in order to help others understand that not only have I walked in your shoes before you I will guide you through along with I will see to action all things as you know the Jypsie always says their are three things you can't hide - The Sun, The Moon and The Truth!
I was once asked what I feared and the answer was I have no fear I just haven't felt the need to bring it up to light until now as it's on the victims time!
Thanks for reading and allowing me to write and share as we work our way through the alphabet over the course of this month!