In my almost 55 years of living almost 30 of them reading for people all over the globe on these type sites and face to face. I have asked this very question of fellow psychics as I have accumulated (XXXX) myself two of which i got back with 3x. Why I ask myself now would I put myself through a situation again that clearly didn't work out the first time.
i believe the reason was...just like I feel it is with most of you...to grow and learn who I am...It really has little to do with the other person and your love for them...One question I ask my clients when they ask this question is to think about why you broke up, how major was that reason or all the little ones put together and most of all what is the likelihood of the same thing happening again.
I am not saying getting back with an X will never work. I have known many that have returned and succeeded and been happier than the were the first or second....times, but there is usually a valid reason why they are your X, however much you think you still love them they are still the person that for a moment in time you did not want to be with, look at, fight with, share with, forgive, stop nagging and if you are still the same person chances are of you being successful are not hopeful.
A lot I have found and hey I'm human I have even said this myself, they expect that the relationship will work if the other person changes...If the other person apologizes for whatever we believe they should apologize for...Think about this for one moment have they always been a bit like the problem that split you up...Maybe it is in their nature and your nurture of the issue, by talking about it, thinking about it, going to counselling about it, writing in your diary about it...Even discussing it with your friends is keeping whatever you want to change or fix very much the energy of your life.
Don't expect an X has to change to make you feel better, when you get back together; and if he doesn't well you will say and do whatever you think may hurt him...like he's hurting you...get him to change his mind and see things your way...and conform to what you want...I know... Cos I too have been guilty of these things in my life time...I am human first and foremost....What I am saying here is change thyself...become the best you you can be and love that person you have loved before unconditionally...that does not mean you will love what they do or that you will put up with them and be their doormat...If there are conditions put on a relationship then clearly you are not a match...No one else is responsible for our happiness but ourselves....and what another thinks about us us clearly not our business as I always say often they aren't wanting to think about us because if we are their X they will clearly not want to...That may be a bit of an Ouch but it is so true. Our thoughts are the only sacred and uninhibited senses, if we can call them that...that we have.
Believe me often you may think it is your X coming back that will make everything in your world so much better...It won't unless you can accept everything about them...and they can accept everything about you. Love yourself first...Put yourself first...Look after yourself first and that way you will be the best you you can be and more attractive to others and understand the X or the current should also be doing the same.
From a fellow X pert on being an X and succeeding and making one of those relationships work...heal...and be totally happy in.