Violet Aura - Your Guide to Good Vibrations

Essence, Vision, Harmony, Love, Light, Passion, Empowerment

Entangled minds that roam the earth together-- You meet each other in your dreams. You know what is going on with the other person and they are a distance away. The connection you feel with each other has an energy that is outside of this dimension, and ahead of what this realm is ready for.

A soulmate connection for most, comes with great costs. For many this connection is bittersweet. With so much love and a sense of true communion and unity, it also feels like there is so much weight to bear with it.

He runs. Why?

When I have been contacted to be of assistance to someone trying to find clarity about soulmate issues, a common thread is that he will run. He will create distance. He refuses to commit. If he doesn't run, he finds a way to not go any deeper. It's just too much.

For some, he promised after the divorce, he would find you, but he's with another woman, knowing that you are the partner that would create an incredible life for him. For both of you.

The good souls that I speak to about it want to know why. What the hell is going on?

I wish the answer was simple.

Knowing that this relationship transcends the energy of the earth and moves into a realm that we are just beginning to try and understand, ironically, this is exactly one of the reasons he runs. The energy and its power is foreign.

The nature of a man and male energy is not primarily emotional. While you may share so many different ranges of very deep emotion together, being in that space experiencing such great power is more foreign to him than it is to you. Not understanding something is an open door for things to become unweildy. It can be scary.

The depth of the feelings--the wonderment that all of this energy brings has probably even been so immense for you at times that you have even felt scared. We as women being in practice with "feeling" are usually able to get a handle on our hearts and not let fear tend to take over so much in this area.

For men, the intensity is enough that it drives him insane. As if you both don't already ask each other, "What do we do about us?", for him the love and other reeling emotions are so intense that the blessing of this relationship becomes his personal hell.

All the while you're ready to take the plunge. Ready to dive in and experience all of the greatness and stand in your power together as equals; King and Queen of the realm you've created together. Ready to create and receive the most amazing gifts that God or the Universe could ever have put in your hands and he turns away.

What the real truth is for both parties that makes it so bittersweet, is that we know what fear is, and the number one reason that the relationship may not ever be what you hope, is exactly because the fear is overwhelming, and this is where it becomes complex.

There is fear that the success of the relationship will create too much power than he knows how to handle; Fear that what you will both create on a different level is so far outside of the comfort zone, it may cause hurt to a level that has never been felt before if you fail; Fear that this kind of love isn't deserved or hasn't been truly earned; Fear that for whatever reason the feelings are so expansive and the potential for success surpasses what we can conceive, it's easier to not go there. It's more painful than fun.

It doesn't seem to make sense that one could be overwhelmed with so much love they can believe that your life together would be the best thing for both of you, and not go forward with it.

In terms of what is in "this realm" and how to relate it to "that realm", the best I can do is relate it to that job you may have once dreamed or fantazised of having outside of the country on a whole other continent, and you never took the leap to move there and do it.  Knowing full well it would have earned you incredible success, and that it was entirely possible to do it. All you had to do was go.

As mediocre as that example is, it is the only way I can describe how he fears taking that leap. The "move" requires so much to leave behind and start over with--and the new place being so foreign among other things is just so risky without having any guarantees on an outcome, it creates heavy conflict. It's easier to dream about it and be with it for short periods of time, than to actually live that life moment by moment.

It is no consolation to have it explained away on account of fear. We know that fear is irrational. We know that it is an illusion and a made up story about events that have not yet occured, but that is what the running is all about. Fear runs deep within us and has more control of the things we choose to have or not have in our lives than we give it credit for. But that is what it is. It is a travesty, I know.

And because it is no consolation and you still don't know what to do or say to him that could possibly change things to move in a more favorable direction, I can only offer my blessings to you to for peace of mind and healing of the heart. I will let you know that you are not alone by any means. Many soulmate connections experience these issues. They are very real, and the feelings of heartbreak truly run deep.

What I offer as my best advice to anyone if it makes it easier, is to begin to practice this:  Let it be.

Be with each other expecting nothing but to be together. Enjoy your time. Want nothing more. Continue to grow and expand and share your wisdom with one another. If it is not in the stars for you to be together in this realm or in this lifetime, let it be. Stop wasting time on wanting more. Just be. That is how this love was created. From both of you standing in the light of just being.

The Universe has given you a gift to enjoy. It has given you everything you wanted in terms of feeling loved and letting you know that yes, you do deserve that kind of love. It is offering you the experience. Want nothing more than to just be with what you have. I know that it hurts to want it your way and not have it. I know that there is resentment about it. I know the pangs of wanting to just have him in your arms forever and not ever have to leave.

With gifts --we accept them as gifts and want nothing more if we truly receive them as such. Apply this to any gift you have ever received and have been grateful for, and you will see the connection. Let the gift be a gift. Want nothing more, and just enjoy being with it as often as you can. Be grateful for the experience, because you can apply this to other areas of your life, and yes you can create it again, because you were given the tools with this gift to know how to do it. Don't let fear tell you that you cannot!


"Violet Aura conducts live psychic readings specializing in love and relationships, soulmate affairs, career path forecasting, and dream interpretation. Psychic readings, spiritual counseling, distance reiki, crystal healing therapies and life coaching services are delivered to you by Violet Aura herself, a trained and certified experienced professional. Speak one-to-one with Violet about what the future holds for you and your loved ones. Receive the answers to your questions and realign with balance and peace-of-mind with an accurate psychic you can trust."

# re: THE SOULMATE CONNECTION -WHY IS HE SO AFRAID? @ Monday, April 23, 2007 11:32 AM
this was so needed today. I have met someone and I do want more, your words were perfect let it be and be happy with he gives.
# re: THE SOULMATE CONNECTION -WHY IS HE SO AFRAID? @ Monday, April 23, 2007 1:45 PM
I think that this was great!!!!!!!
# re: THE SOULMATE CONNECTION -WHY IS HE SO AFRAID? @ Monday, April 23, 2007 4:14 PM
Hi. I read your blog an you are so 100% right cause I am this situation now.  We meant 6 months ago.. first three every great he said the Love word an freaked him out. so he shut down, due to past pain.. Well we are in that want nothing stage ,enjoying that time together stage.. For me yes can be hard but I understand him.. We have a great connection to each other.. via, on the phone, instant messanger, web cam, in person, Its powerful an its something I can truly say I have never felt before.  I feel his love for me very intensly an I feel that way about him. but its not verbally talked about but  it will be said at some point that day in the near future will present itself. So for now I am just taking the growth of the relationship enjoyment I have an letting it be!!!!
# re: THE SOULMATE CONNECTION -WHY IS HE SO AFRAID? @ Monday, April 23, 2007 5:21 PM
you really covered it.  so dead on.  i think i finally may have a good portion of awareness and understanding of unconditional love but in practice i still do backslide and retrace my steps and words and wonder how i could better handle the next takes courage but is THE ultimate adventure.
so good to hear your understanding.
# re: THE SOULMATE CONNECTION -WHY IS HE SO AFRAID? @ Tuesday, April 24, 2007 9:23 AM
This entry made me cry because it told my story so accurately - he is gone and I have been struggling for a long time to understand why anyone would walk away from the most incredible love. Thank you for sharing  - perhaps reading this will put me on a real path of recovery and healing.
# re: THE SOULMATE CONNECTION -WHY IS HE SO AFRAID? @ Monday, April 30, 2007 4:34 AM
Thank you for sharing this excellent article. It felt as though you were telling my story and was so very real. Mine is a very long story of this exact situation - the heartbreak has been devastating and prolonged so I really appreciated some of the guidance you shared too. I think that I will read postthis many many times because my greatest difficulty in the healing has been WHY!!
Thank you so very very much
# re: THE SOULMATE CONNECTION -WHY IS HE SO AFRAID? @ Saturday, May 05, 2007 11:09 PM
This is exactly what happened in my relationship and I have never known such devastating heartbreak before or since him and almost immediately he started dating someone else and I guess she provided a safety net I couldn't and even though it was obvious that his heart wasn't in it he went forward with her. I haven't seen or spoken to him in 14 years and did the best I could to go forward with my own life but I have felt his energy over the years and almost a year ago out of the blues, I started having dreams about him and I don't think a day goes by that I don't feel something from him now. I know the life he chose has not turned out as predictably has he thought it would. The last months have brought back some memories of the pain I experienced but also reminded me of the indescribable joy that my heart felt at the time so there is a lot of confusion and the question of why now and what to do with this remains. Sometimes it feels like a wound reopen but reading this article does help a some, thank you
# re: THE SOULMATE CONNECTION -WHY IS HE SO AFRAID? @ Friday, May 27, 2011 9:47 PM
what they said... Great article!  Write more!
# re: THE SOULMATE CONNECTION -WHY IS HE SO AFRAID? @ Saturday, May 28, 2011 7:22 AM
This is the best piece i have ever read about soulmate connections. You have to wonder why these connections are in our lives but reading this makes me realize they are here to teach and move us to grow....that is unconditional love on any level. Blessings
# re: THE SOULMATE CONNECTION -WHY IS HE SO AFRAID? @ Sunday, June 05, 2011 3:10 AM
Yep,been there ,done that, and quite a few times and extremely painful but when youve held wrong relationship together for years,only to fnally realise that its got to go,you make sure you dont do the same thing again.  several points I would like to make.{1} It has been made clear to me that we can have many soulmates on this planet at one time. Each one sending that same beautiful love energy on your frequency. My experience is discernment by way of personal taste,then comunication,{biggy!} and if still going strong,an astrological birthchart on soulmate compatibility.  {2} It is too easy to leap into a 2nd rate relationship when with a bit of extra effort you can have an inspirational love affair where you both reach heights otherwise unattainable. {3}   Girls ,Im sorry but sometimes you just dont see the wood for the trees,and our best attempts to explain seem to somehow invert and change shape and meaning and what else can he do,RUN FOR IT BRO!  {4} I have devised a system that works well for finding a selection of soulmates.   A three way cross reference of the basic compatibilities using chinese and western astrology and numerology,then screening as above. the hard part is finding dating sites that display birthdates.  otherwise ,its easy.{except noone else seems to understand the whole equation and trust me ,it is not easy to match all three coordinates.}  but it sure brings results .  supasoulmatesam.
# re: THE SOULMATE CONNECTION -WHY IS HE SO AFRAID? @ Thursday, June 16, 2011 9:40 AM
# re: THE SOULMATE CONNECTION -WHY IS HE SO AFRAID? @ Monday, October 29, 2012 10:57 PM
I was so happy to find this article.  I have met and lost all of my soulmates within short periods of time.  At first they are excited and thrilled to meet and realize that someone they had imagined in their mind existed and is real and tangible, but when they actually realize that now this can be real, they falter and actually don't know what to do.  They start thinking of the future and fear takes over and it happened every time.  But what I will say is that none of these soul mates were mature at the time they met me and I've since been visualizing meeting a mature soul mate, who is seeking this type of connection.  It is very important that the male knows and appreciates this deeper connection and I find that only comes with much experience or from a much more advanced soul.  I've learned how to let go and appreciate the small gifts from the universe whenever they appear.  I long and hope for the real thing and I know that I'm developing into a stronger and more authentic individual.  I honestly can say that I've learned how to negotiate the pain and channel the information on each encounter so as to understand.  Understanding brings comfort and growth.  Seek to understand and give yourself plenty of self love.  See you for who you truly are.  Anyone who truly loves you, will not run, but that means they love themselves to the same degree and have compassion and have developed empathy.  Rare indeed and that's why we don't see women running, but men.  
# re: THE SOULMATE CONNECTION -WHY IS HE SO AFRAID? @ Saturday, May 18, 2013 12:34 PM
after reading this, I feel that I have found answers 2 my questions... everything u mention here I have felt it with him and no one else. what u said about him is what the guy I love has also told me 2 just let it be... I am wondering would he know that I feel all this intense love 4 him and is he feeling it too?
# re: THE SOULMATE CONNECTION -WHY IS HE SO AFRAID? @ Tuesday, June 18, 2013 9:34 AM
This is so amazing ... I have been wondering why they get afraid every time. It doesnt only happen with men, also with women... I have met 2 women now where i shared this magical feeling with like it was not from this earth and it was like we knew eachother for a very long time, like she was my female version. But when there's time to think they reject it and get scared and just run away from it even if they want it soooo badly they just cant handle the emotions that are so intense. I have been lucky to have this kind of feeling twice now and i have learned alot from it the first time to know how to not react this time. Letting it be and not pushing it into any direction is the best thing to do in this connection i think. I predicted when i got this feeling the second time with another women that she would reject it also and not want it to happen anymore and i was right. It happened again, first days she could not wait to have this feeling again. When there was time to think couple of days she collapsed and got scared of the future, because when this feeling would grow and get stronger the fear would be to much to lose this person and not be able to handle the intense pain it would bring. I still have contact with them and even feel the strong connection when talking to eachother on skype, its just to much to handle for some people that they want to choose the easy way and run away from it to stay in their comfort zone. so sad :(
# re: THE SOULMATE CONNECTION -WHY IS HE SO AFRAID? @ Monday, July 28, 2014 12:01 AM
So true! Thanks for taking the time to write this!
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