ART to Lift Your Mood!

"Mushroom Love"

Love is like a mushroom...when the timing and atmosphere are right, it grows quickly.

"Healing Bird"

Heal your heart so you can spread your wings and fly!

"Safe Retreat"

When life feels to like a turtle and retreat into a protected space...tomorrow will always dawn a new day!

"Will He/She Ever Love Me?"

This is a question that psychics, empaths, and tarot readers get asked a lot. Being a woman who has loved and lost at various points in my life, I can say that I totally understand why so many people want to know this when they get a reading about the people they love. We can all become deeply attached to the love we feel for another and experience strong desires to have that love returned to us. At it's core it is as natural as the mother/child bond, but in love well as within the mother/child and loving choices towards another is not always returned, sustained, or expressed.

In many ways, when we ask if someone will ever love us, we are asking if a person will ever change. Regardless of a readers prediction about that question, it's always up to the individual because we all have free will and can change or not change at any time. Sometimes the question arises from the desire to know if we should hold on when things are rough...we want validation on whether things will change out of fear of letting go too soon. Or other times we may ask because we want to be loved so badly by a specific person, even when they treat us in a way that makes us feel bad. If we can get someone to tells us that we will be loved eventually by that person, then we can use that to trick our brains into not feeling the pain of their present lack of love for us. The pain we would naturally feel if we didn't have outside assurance from a psychic reader telling us that one day we will be loved by them. If we allow ourselves to feel the pain of our current reality then we allow life to work action and change into our lives...which is what we really need when we are not loved in a relationship.

Even though I understand the yearning behind the question of "will they ever love me?", I have to say that I also think it's one of the most distracting and destructive questions you can ask and focus on when seeking guidance from a psychic or tarot reader. No prediction...not even from the best psychics around... is 100% reliable when it comes to affairs of the heart, because all people have free will to change their minds and a lot of times psychics pick up on energy that the person in question isn't even conscious of within themselves...and an unconscious person cannot be relied upon to act in a predictable way. Most importantly, it totally gets you away from what is happening today, and your happiness rests in what you are living and putting energy towards right now.

Love means a lot of different things to different people. Someone may have feelings of love for you, but they may not choose to be with you or life circumstances are such that they can't. You may feel comfort knowing that they at least love you, but if you aren't feeling that directly from the other person then what you are doing is experiencing it vicariously through your reader...and that is not deserve more than a vicarious experience of deserve the real thing. Not only do you deserve it, but it's what your soul wants because that is what is healing to So trying to feel it through others only keeps you connected to a blocked source of love rather than letting you heal from your disappointment and move on so you can find love in a person who is willing and able to share it with you directly.

If you are left with the belief that one day someone who isn't behaving lovingly towards you now, will be loving towards you in the are vulnerable to putting up with a lot of non-loving behavior waiting for the love to come. You shouldn't have to wait for is either there or it is not and if you have to ask for outside confirmation about that love, then there is a good chance that it is not there, or the person is choosing to not share which case you are better off to accept it, grieve, and move on.

When we look at things as they are today and make our choices for ourselves based on that, and not on future predictions, then we begin to set the stage for love to enter our life. When we let go of a relationship that is not showing us love right now, we make space for a relationship that can be loving to enter. We are telling the Universe...I am not going to wait around and settle for a possible future prediction of love...and the Universe will support that.

Usually when we do choose to wait around for a person who is being unavailable with their love, it might be a way of avoiding real relationships. Real "in-your-face -right-now" relationships can bring up even more fears and uncertainty than a "future-maybe-hopefully- one-day-I-will-love-you" relationship because that kind of relationship requires you to be seen and known by another person right now. It asks for levels of emotional and sexual intimacy that might be uncomfortable, especially of we have been hurt in the past.

So understand your past and affirm your right to an available and loving future...and in the meantime consider asking your adviser about how you can be most loving to yourself at this time. The guidance and insight you receive from that question will carry you much closer to a true and lasting love, then a prediction about if he/she will ever love you.

Be kind to yourself and thank you for reading :-)

Self there's a concept for ya, huh?

If you're into self improvement you have probably heard or read those two words together a lot. A few lucky folks are tried and true pros at it! Most of us attain Self-Love when we are alone or feeling safe, but can allow outer chaos or other people to fog our brain and forget why we were lovable to begin with. Many of us like the sound of it, but don't exactly know what it looks or feels like. There are some who get bitter at the mere thought of it and prefer to remain the victim of feeling no love at all.

If you are anything like me, you dip in and out of all of the above when it comes to Self-Love.

I've found that the secret key to maintaining Self-Love in life is to focus on the FACT that you DESERVE your own matter what...and especially when you are feeling a lack of it.

Deservedness is key, because if you believe that you DON'T deserve it than you will not have it within you or by your side at the times when you need it most. The more you get use to it (and know how to maintain it) the less you find yourself in situations that trigger Self-Love's opposite: Self-Loathing. Nobody deserves that...natural remorse or brief periods of shame...sure, we all mess up and need to learn from our mistakes at times, but never Self-Loathing.

Self-Love is a birth right, just like the fact that you were given a body to live in, eyes that produce tears, and a mind to make choices with. It is naturally there for the taking, regardless of what life situation or family you were born in or find yourself in currently. The beautiful thing about Self-Love is that it is no matter where you stand with it right now, you can always nurture and grow into a state of being that supports, motivates, and comforts you at all times in this life.

It's also natural to give love and seek love from others. We are biologically and psychologically designed to do this for survival.

This may not sound super romantic or spiritual. Don't get me wrong...I am a huge fan of romantic and spiritual love, but there is good truth around the nature of love in biology and psychology that we can all learn from.

We are designed to give love and seek love as babies so we will be loved back and have our basic survival needs taken care of by the adults in our lives. It creates a bond that carries us through life's harsher realities. Unfortunately, this instinctual programing can set us up for confusion later in life...especially if the adults in our life did not teach us the important emotional survival skill of Self-Love.

This gets overlooked a lot, mainly because societies and cultures (and therefore families) are designed in various ways that focus more on physical, clothes, shelter...which governments and businesses then capitalize on, for better or for worse, to create an economy that sustains a community or a nation. Because of this, emotional needs have been downgraded for generation after generation because a.) emotions can be time consuming and uncomfortable to deal with and b.) that process can get in the way of taking care of our physical survival needs...the field needs to be plowed, mom has to work, the boss will fire you if you miss work due to depression, we learn to devalue our feelings and sometimes block them out completely just to keep moving.

This leads us into an adulthood where we are both consciously and unconsciously always trying to give or receive love from others because it is what we have always done to survive. We have an instinct for love/sex and we know that often times there is safety in numbers. When it is working it feels really great! Nothing wrong with it...BUT because so few people were taught how to love themselves properly and are pushed to focus on their physical survival above all else, a lot of the love we give and receive and the choices we make ultimately lead us to feelings of loss and longing for something more than what we are able to give or are getting from others.

Now throw into the mix that many of our great-grandparents, grandparents, parents, and even ourselves have been the victims of war, illness, abandonment, divorce, death, incarceration and all sorts of abuses...and still expected to survive, given little if any real time to grieve and heal themselves before entering back into a “normal” life. Who has time for learning and teaching Self-Love in all that emotional to try and just find happiness however we can, right?

This can often times creates a sense of urgency to fill void of emptiness and confusion that we have never learned how to manage in a balanced self-loving way. This is why addictions are so strong in humans...most are a quick and effective fix on feeling both bonded to others and love towards ourselves (drugs, alcohol, ambition, love, sex, cigarettes, fitness, materialism, etc.) at least for a time.

These fixes come at a cost because most highs are fleeting, they have consequences that we do not yet understand (or are able to ignore) and will not permanently fill anything. Addictions distract us from whatever pain we are trying to manage...which is usually the pain we experience when we do not feel Self-Love in the face of life's challenges. When we are challenged we often feel weak and unacceptable to others which creates the toxic belief that we don't deserve any love, much less our own love.

Most of our beliefs have been taught to us by the people, experiences, and the world around us. If you were never actively taught how to genuinely love yourself and are experiencing the pain and suffering of this lost lesson, don't despair. It can be self-taught and the learning process is actually very fun once you stop resisting that its time to own up to what has been missing in your life and give it to yourself.

When trying to learn Self-Love please remember...write it down, sing it out loud, or pay someone to remind you of it if you have to...that YOU DESERVE YOUR OWN LOVE!

Start there.

Self-Love will look different for everyone in its inner and outer expression. At its core though, it is like a kind, gentle, often times silly and nurturing energy that we tend to feel towards babies...or kittens...or get the idea. Think innocence and purity. Good spirituality is a great path to Self-Love. Having a higher power that loves and accepts us and encourages us to grow is a righteous mirror to our own possibilities of loving ourselves daily in that same light.

You can give yourself love by doing things that you love to do and having experiences that don't come with hard consequences...hobbies that make you happy. You also must consciously choose to speak kindly towards yourself both inside your mind and aloud to others. If you don't know how to start or what to say follow me and insert your full name in the blank: “I, _______________, Deserve My Own Love” and soon you will begin to feel, see, and understand why this is so. It is your birth right after all and it has been waiting for you to know your name with love in your heart from the moment you were born.

If you would like a session with me to explore this or any other topic or issue you may be dealing with, please email me for 3 FREE Minutes!

Be kind to yourself and Thank You for reading!


This image is from the ART of the Empathic Mystic Online Tarot...the art corresponds to the following cards:

Inner-Child, Soulmate, Hope, Bliss, Love, Originality, Bloom, Now, Gratitude, Create, Vibration, Play, Safety, Jealousy, Work, Wonder-Full Child.

Always remember to SHINE and BLOOM!

Sometimes life is a straight and narrow path...sometimes it spirals and cycles like a circle...whichever way you are experiencing life sure to make it a COLORFUL journey! :-)

Today's Card

3 of Cups
"Celebration" in the Osho Zen Tarot Deck


The Three of Cups is a card that reminds us to have fun while connecting with our friends and larger community.  It is about joy and sharing good feelings and good times with the other people in our life.  It's easy to get caught up in the challenges and dramas of life, so this card is a message to remember to embrace FUN and pleasure with those we feel closest to.  In my readings for others I have also seen this card point to siblings or peer relationships that are as close and familiar as family.


On a more spiritual level this card can be a call to look at how we feel about our community.  Do we feel bonded with them or isolated from them?  Is it time to start looking for new friends or maybe let your old friends know how much you appreciate them.  Do you feel like you can really be yourself or do you feel like you have to conform in order to feel a sense of acceptance.


In the Osho Zen deck this card is titled "Celebration" and is fairly similar to the energy of the traditional card version.  One thing that Osho comments on with this card is the need for more spontaneity in life.  To allow for joy to come from within and to remember that even a rainy day is a chance to get out and splash around if you let it be. 

Some questions to ask yourself are:

-How would you like to celebrate your life at this time?

-How can you bring more joy to your next holiday or vacation?

-In what way could you "go public" with your passion right now?

-What are you giving to this connection?  What are you receiving?  Is it balanced?

 Remember that the company you keep will help determine how much joy you are able to experience, so be mindful of who you allow into your life because you deserve to feel good in the company of others.  Be kind to yourself and thanks for reading!

Peace and great care,


          Appreciate ~ The Art of Loving Your Inner-Child

It's important to appreciate what we have because it increases the quality of life both inside own hearts and minds and outside ourselves by attracting more abundance to us.  Our level of appreciation will often times mirror what our parents appreciated or didn't appreciate in others and in the world.  Your Inner-Child has a deep appreciation for everything because everything is new and exciting in their eyes.  Call upon your Inner-Child to help you see the good in your life.  If their ability to appreciate life has been wounded, then it is up to you to re-teach them how to value life.  Appreciating food, friends, animals and nature are great places to begin these lessons.

Peace and great care,




  Work Should Feel Like Play 


Are you currently looking for work or considering a major career change, but just don't know which way to begin?  Are you determined to not just have a job, but to live and create from a place of purpose? If so, here is a simple way of discovering what this might mean for you.


Think about when you were a kid and think about how you liked to spend your time when no one was telling you what to do.  You may find that you had several different "play passions" and that they changes at different ages.  Write down as many as you can think of.


Next, begin taking these seriously...don't just write them off as kid's stuff because they may hold some very important clues to both your passion and your purpose when it comes to your work.  Spirit shines through very naturally with children because they have not been overly conditioned by family and society yet.  You will want to start thinking in terms of how the play you did as kid translates into things your spirit wants you to be doing and working towards now.


For example, say you wanted to be a doctor when you were little.  You may think, "so what?  I can't start medical school now, I'm too old".  Well, that is up to you to see it like could begin medical school if you let go of the belief about age being important, but let's say that even when you do that it doesn't sound appealing.  What this early desire could be telling you is that you have a desire to heal.  So maybe it is about learning alternative healing techniques or understanding medicine or maybe working with people who are sick and living life as a "patient".  Or perhaps it is about writing about doctors and patients, or promoting medical ideas.  The skies the limit...the important thing is to let your mind think outside of the box, while using your childhood playtime as an inspiration for what is truly possible for you.


For myself, I always loved playing the game Memory and I would often times play cards with my sister and grandma...I loved to shuffle cards!  As it turns out, I am now a tarot card reader and I have co-created my own tarot deck with my partner.  The images I am creating for the cards are square and colorful just like the squared images on the memory game.  I feel very much in my passion when I read the cards for others and when I work on and promote my tarot deck.


Oftentimes, in our play as kids, we were trying to learn and prepare our older selves for what will support us financially and stimulate us mentally and if you are currently confused about your career and purpose, begin by visiting the past and looking at what your younger-self was naturally drawn to when it came time to play!


Be kind to yourself and thank you for reading :-)



If You Feel Grief, Don't Be Ashamed.  Let It Out.

Grief is one of those emotional experiences that is simply unavoidable in life.  We all experience loss in one form or another, and yet I would say that avoiding grief is one of the most common things that I see people trying to do in their lives as a reader.  So many people I read for hope to find a new relationship before they have fully grieved the loss of their last relationship.  Often times the desire for new love is an attempt to dull or distract the person from the intense emotions that they have inside of them, but are trying not to feel.  I also see people who have been deeply hurt in their childhood and have experienced an early loss of innocence and they have not allowed themselves to feel the grief about what they went through.  Instead they focus on compensating for the past by focusing their sense of happiness on outer achievements or they may avoid their emotional life all together by getting lost in various addictions.


There is no way around it...grief is necessary and painful.  The deeper the loss or trauma experienced, the deeper the painful feelings go.  It can feel confusing because we are faced with so many opposing emotions when we confront a loss.  For example, after a divorce or break-up we may find that one minute we are bargaining with God to bring the person back and then the next we are so full of rage that we are grateful no one is around.  Some days we may feel like nothing has changed at all and we are certain that it is only a matter of time before we are re-united and then other days we are crying non stop because we long so deeply for the past.    All emotions are valid when you are grieving.  It's not the emotions that create the problem for most people, it is when they have been suppressed, intellectualized, or minimized and sit locked up in the heart, mind, and body of the individual without being expressed and released. 


Often times grief gets set aside because we have to work, raise children, and basically stay functional in order to survive.  Our culture doesn't embrace emotions enought as it is, much less taking 2-6 months to deeply explore our feelings and allow them their naturally chaotic path to acceptance and healing.  It is understandable that so many people force their way through their grief, but it is not healthy and it creates new problems in the long run.


When you don't let yourself grieve and go through an intense period of emotional release you are not allowing yourself to fully heal.  That sadness and anger will find it's way into other areas of your life...your job, your relationship with your children, your friends, etc.  Or it may make you sick.  Emotions need to flow.   When they don't our energy becomes stagnant and it starts to create blocks in how we choose to live and relate in the world.  We may become fearful or angry and not know why.  We may project our unresolved emotions onto our next relationship and expect our new partner to take away the pain.  This simply is not how it works.  These are your feelings about your experience of loss and they must be felt and released by you.  It is important that we make the time to do so, even if the world around us isn't encouraging us to do so.


When going through a grief process it is really important to have at least one person you can talk to about the different feelings that come up for you.  Having a trusted person who can witness your emotions and be there to comfort you can give you the sense of safety you need to let out the feelings that seem too intense and difficult to feel on your own.  You can also keep a journal of your feelings or join an online or in-person support group of others who are going through the same thing as you.  Staying connected to others will allow for sharing which will help you heal faster.  Moments of loss can also be an opportunity to connect more deeply with God, the Universe, or your high-self.  A personal sense of spirituality can help fill in the gaps that the loss has left behind.  Our connection with our Spirit is the one constant in life and Spirit always wants you to heal and grow from a loss because that is the only way you can continue creating a life for yourself that has purpose , joy, and meaning.


If you are struggling with grief.  Don't feel ashamed.  It is a natural healing process and the more you allow it to be, the more you will come out the other side grounded and ready to embrace hope and happiness once more.  Remember that you can be both strong and vulnerable at the same time.


Be kind to yourself and thank you for reading.


 A SECOND CHILDHOOD: Growing Up Right!


It is okay and healing, as adults, to give ourselves a second childhood.  One where we get to learn the things we want to learn and play the games we want to play. If needed, and very few of us are without this need, it is also okay and healing to take over from the past and begin to raise ourselves heal the things we need to heal and say the things we want to say...and shine loving and discerning light on the dark spots and the blind spots of the world, our parents, teachers and guardians, as well as our own inner-child.


This is one way to heal...and likely one of the most fun and unpredictable ways because as you grow into a good mom and dad to let the whole inner-family co-create the story...and the more the merrier, I say, when it comes making good stories.


Be kind to yourself and thank you for reading :-)



Today's Card

The Lovers

The Lovers card is probably one of the most popular and desired cards of the Tarot because so many people who consult it are looking to know more about their love life.  Does he love me?  Will she ever love me?  Do I have a soul mate?  When will someone pick me to be their love? 


The Lovers card can be deceiving though.  When it appears in your reading it is not a guarantee of love returned...often times it is quite the opposite.  The Lovers card is always about choice, because love is a choice.  I believe that at our core we are love, but we also have a shadow side that represents fear.  Most human dramas are the dance between the choices of love or fear in our relationships.


Sometimes the Lovers card can show a situation that is set up like a love triangle where a person is in love with two people at the same time and feels they must choose between them, or perhaps they are content with having both but are having to choose whether to be loving and be honest about the situation with the other people involved or to stay committed to their fear and lie.


Most often, I see this card as a choice between loving oneself by being alone and living life as an individual, free to do as we please, answering to no one, and living a path that is more self focused OR sacrificing some personal freedom to merge in a love relationship with another, experiencing a partnership where the other person's needs are also important and a life is co-created with another.   Both paths have valuable lessons and pitfalls so it is a choice best decided mindfully and without illusions.


The Lovers card also reflects the choices we are faced with when we have chosen to be in relationship with another.   We always have a choice in how deep we let the love go...will it be superficial or authentic? Will we forgive or hold grudges in our heart?  Will we be honest or hide who we really are?  These are the questions that relationships present us with each day and choosing love over fear tends to make the relationship strong.

Some questions to ask yourself are:

-How do you define attraction, love, and compassion?

-What are you choosing to sacrifice or risk in the name of love?

-Is the grass looking greener on the other side?  Why or why not?

-How is your most intimate relationship acting as a mirror to your personality and your soul?

Now there are times when The Lovers card will appear in a reading that has nothing to do with romance.  It can still represent choices in other relationships, such as family, business partnerships, and community.  The more we choose love in all aspect of our life, the more we grow and discover who we really are.  Be kind to yourself and thanks for reading!

Peace and great care,


  You Are A Creator  


You are a Creator and you have the power to create the life and the love that you want...if you have patience and choose to.  Many people don't.  They want only a specific kind of happiness and jump on the first thing that remotely resembles what they think they want...only to be disappointed when it doesn't live up to their expectations and "make them happy".  They choose to deny their power to create and participate mindfully in their happiness.  They either don't want or can't handle the responsibility, which is sad because then they are left to be the victims of fate.  Life is always happening to them and people and events are rarely on their side for very long.  They repeat the same patterns in their jobs and their relationships and end up feeling sorry for themselves and depressed because they can't manage to keep joy around.  If the self-pity turns into suppressed or overt  bitterness then they may find that even their health is "not on their side".


That is not to say that being passive in life wont lead to some rewards, it will, but the wheel of life is always moving and if you sit still for too long then the downfall will land in your lap eventually.  This is why confronting and healing the internal thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that block us from taking responsibility for our success and happiness is so important.  When you start actively working with fate you can create both miracles and everyday blessings. 


No matter how down and out you feel you are right now, you have the power to begin creating the life you want.  It is a courageous and self-loving choice to make.  At the soul-level, I believe we all want the same thing...a life that is positive, authentic, and has a joyful energy to it.  Everyone has been faced with challenges that leave them feeling as though they just want to give up and blame the world for their woes.  So don't feel ashamed if that is you right happens to the best of us...just choose to stop believing the lie that you don't have the power to change things right now. 


If you are sick, start with telling your body to heal.  If you are hurting over a love, tell yourself that you are loveable and beautiful.  If you are stressed over work and money issues, go outside and touch some nature, then figure out a way to save money and put energy towards improving your job situation.  If you are lonely, connect with an animal or a human that is kind.  If people are pushing you around, set boundaries and stand up for yourself.  Do for yourself what you are subconsciously hoping someone else will come along and do for you.


When you start seeing yourself as a Creator, life takes on a whole new tone.  It doesn't mean that everything is perfect and that there are no challenges.  It means that you take on the challenges and begin working them to your advantage.  It means you take your health and your happiness seriously.  It means that you believe in yourself enough to take action and make choices that lead you to what you want and deserve on a soul level!


Be kind to yourself and thank you for reading :-)



Your Inner Voice LOVES You


You have an inner voice.  A wise and loving voice that is always talking to you...trying to get your attention...guiding you on your rightful path...reminding you of who you really are...soothing you during the sad times...cheering you on when you are conquering the world.  It LOVES to be listened always has your back...and it will always tell you the truth.


The art of listening to this inner voice is your biggest and most noble challenge on this Earth.  The rewards of mastering this challenge are endless.  Psychics, empaths, and tarot readers are here to help you get in touch with that.  Why do you think you so often say to yourself after a reading, "I totally knew that!"  It's because you were hearing your inner voice all along...but were not quite ready to trust it and felt like you needed some outside validation that what you were hearing inside was true.


The ability to trust your inner voice to guide you properly is a sign of self-mastery.  Because this is something that is rarely taught in our fact we are actually taught the opposite most of the can be a challenge to get to a place where you listen to and trust your inner voice 100% of the time.  Fear and ego like to dance around this territory as well and unfortunately they are old familiar "friends" that can easily get our attention and take over.  This is normal and should even be expected when you begin to open up to listening and trusting your inner voice.  Paying attention to your body and what it is telling you can be a great way of deciphering what is real and what is fear/ego.  If you experience tightness or pain then it is a sign to re-consider your choices.  If you feel relaxed, light, and expansive then that it a sign that you are on the right track.


If you are still unsure about if what you are hearing is your inner voice then consulting a tarot deck or an advisor that you trust can be a great way of getting additional confirmation.  Once you have it figured out, pay special attention to how the guidance or fear came to you originally.  This will help you in future situations.  You can also ask your unconscious mind to show you what is real in a dream before you go to bed.  Whatever you do keep working at opening up.  If you stay committed to the process then you WILL build a trusting connection with yourself eventually...without a doubt!  Always remember that your inner voice is there for you 24/7 and loves you like you were it's favorite, most precious child.


Be kind to yourself and thank you for reading :-)



  It's Only Life...My GOD, It's LIFE!  


Sometimes when life is hard in that everyday-kind-of-way it is helpful to try and look at the situation that troubles you from a different vantage point.  Sometimes in order to find spiritual lessons and honest solutions we have to try on a whole new perspective with the people and events facing us...or still dragging along behind us.

People, events, and situations have a way of doing that...lingering around, reading a magazine...or a blog :-), just hanging out waiting for the right person or job or life event to come a long so you can invite them/it into your life experience and play the past out together.

After a while, if we start paying attention and asking questions, we realize that our future direction always seems to be headed towards people, places, and things that feel very familiar.  We realize that, in a sense, we are re-creating our past because we are refusing to or are unaware of the need to do, think, see, feel, know, hear, speak, and choose any different.

Most often our refusal or lack of awareness comes from the fact that we would feel overwhelmed and scared if we took action or admitted to ourselves something we have tried to avoid seeing or feeling.  But for many of us on the planet, at this time, we are finding that we can't avoid our own awareness any longer.  It is too painful and destructive to do so and our soul specifically came here to heal and move on to higher lessons.

If you are avoiding this work because it feels overwhelming, It doesn't mean that you are a bad person destined to suffer just means that you are scared and need to tap into a new perspective about life in order to live without anxiety, depression, co-dependency, addictions, boredom, anger, and control issues.

When I was at one of my lowest points in my life I had a realization that I still remind myself of from time to time.  I was feeling very sad, unloved, stressed about money, and ashamed of how weak and confused I felt everyday.  It was a really tough time and I rarely enjoyed my life.  The only time I felt any peace or enjoyment was when I was drunk or using some kind of stimulant like coffee, ephedra, and cigarettes...otherwise life just seemed impossible and heavy.  All my dreams and hopes and loves seemed so out of reach and pointless.

I wish I could remember how this realization came to me, but I cannot recall the specific situation.  It was probably about money...that was the thing (and when a relationship would end) that created the most overwhelming feelings for me in my early twenties.  Anyway, I had the realization that it was only life...that whatever I was thinking, feeling, and experiencing was not the end of the world or the end of my was just the kind of thing that happens in life...that it wasn't a big deal because life isn't really that big of a deal.  I basically detached from what was happening and let myself see it as something that had nothing really to do with me...or at least that part of myself that was thinking these things.

That realization felt good for awhile, but it also felt empty and like it was only a half-truth.  A part of me knew and really wanted to admit that there was more to life than just these problems that I was facing and these feelings that I was drowning in.  Somewhere I knew that being happy and carefree was possible because I had experienced it often as a kid.  I knew that nature was beautiful and made me feel connected to something I could feel in my body and heart when I was in it.  I knew there was something very BIG about life...much bigger than my issues and struggles.  This is when the phrase came to me:

It's only life...My GOD, It's LIFE!

This is something I say when I need to steady my fearful heart and racing mind and put things in perspective so I can get a handle on whatever chaos I have created for myself.  Life is both silly and magical.  Life is both "no big deal" and larger than the Universe.  Life is always offering us chances to choose better for ourselves and to detach from over-identifying with our ever changing experiences.  When we can see and feel these two opposing forces in our situation we can center ourselves enough to confront what is facing us.  We can see our mistakes as lessons.  We can feel our fears as grief.  We can choose the highest road available to us and move forward with our heads held high.  Most importantly, we can remind ourselves that whatever it is that is challenging us will not be the end of our life and that, because we are alive, we have the responsibility of creating a life that is well worth living.

Be kind to yourself and thank you for reading :-)



  I Need You  


Often times people confuse deep feelings of need with feelings of love.  They believe that because they have this deep longing, craving, and need for another person that it must be love...why else would they feel so strongly?  A lot of times the intensity of our need for another person does not come from love, although we may genuinely have love feelings for them.  Often times, it is actually old feelings that are being triggered and Spirit is using the relationship as a way of getting us to look at ourselves through the experience of painful emotions when our needs go unmet.


When we are little, we are truly needy.  We need our parents to feed us, clothe us, shelter us, love us and provide for us just about everything a human needs in order to survive.  Some of us are lucky and our needs get met in a way that creates a sense of safety, balance, and comfort within our mind, heart, and body.  When we have this sense of well-being, we are free to grow and learn how to meet our own emotional and physical needs and we end up living as integrated and whole adults who attract other integrated and whole adults into our relationship experiences.


Unfortunately, with the world being the way it often is and with families being the way they often are, many of us did not get all of our needs met and did not have the luxury of growing up feeling safe and supported to grow into a fully integrated and whole adult.  Many of us actually learned to suppress our needs in order to survive.  If a child has a naturally deep need for love and affection, but grows up in a home that is cold and lacking in that department, that child has two seek out love and affection and get rejected over and over again or to suppress the need, make it not all that important and focus on getting whatever is being provided.  This is a way of coping that can get us through the tough years, but a suppressed need does not mean that it goes is just dormant until a situation comes along to revive the feeling of the unmet need, which is often times what love relationships do.  When we have vital needs go unmet in childhood, we end up having parts and pieces missing within our psyches and emotional body and so that is what we are often times searching for in a romantic partner...someone who we unconsciously believe possesses and will give us what we are lacking inside.  All the natural longings and needs that went unmet as a child get transferred onto our lovers and potential lovers. 


This is not a very sexy or romantic way of looking at love, but it can be incredibly helpful if you find yourself feeling way more needy of another than you would like.  Our unconscious neediness will often times do the opposite of what we want and push away love or attract to us the people who will go out of their way to not meet our needs.  The more we understand what is happening the more we can show up for ourselves and meet our own needs...and ultimately attract someone who is capable and willing to give and receive in a balanced way.  Nurturing and healing within ourselves what went unmet in childhood allows us to grow into our full potential as individuals.  It is much easier to attract and sustain a healthy loving partnership when we are actively working on becoming a complete human being on our own.  If we don't then we will only attract people who will reflect back to us what is still missing through the pain and drama of our needs going unmet in the relationship.


So the next time you feel a wave of neediness sweep over you towards a new love or a long-time partner...perhaps they are unavailable to be with you or give you what you want emotionally or physically, take a moment to ask yourself where this need went unmet when you were a kid.  9 times out of 10, that unmet need is at the core of the intensity you are feeling and experiencing today.  Once you are conscious of it, you can begin giving yourself the love, safety, comfort, encouragement, or attention that you missed out on as a child...and soon enough your relationships will begin reflecting back the fullness you will feel inside.

Be kind to yourself and thank you for reading :-)



  Take Time To Heal  


After a death, divorce, or break-up it is very important that we give our hearts time to heal before we re-engage in new relationships.  Because of the void that is often left behind with these losses many people will begin looking for new love too soon.  They can't stand being alone for very long and the emotional discomfort is too great.  This can happen most often during the "bargaining" stage of grief.  Sometimes we may try bargaining with the powers that be to bring back our love, but other times we may try and bargain away the pain by seeking out new sources of love and comfort pre-maturely.


A new relationship too soon will often times cause you to minimize the complexity of your grief feelings because you don't want to come off as weak or "crazy" in the eyes of the new person...or you won't want to make the new person jealous or feel inferior to your previous love.  This creates a pattern of emotional suppression.  These feelings of loss and hurt don't just go away, they must be felt and worked through if you ever want to be free of the pain of loss.  You will have to deal with them sooner or later and the sooner the better!  If you suppress your pain, then you are more likely to attract painful relationships that will mirror that pain back to you.  You may be drawn to people who are inconsistent, unavailable, or grieving themselves.  You may find temporary relief and comfort, but ultimately a new relationship will never take the pain must be felt and released...and as much as we humans resist it, that takes time.


Another reason why it is useful to give yourself space to grieve and heal after a loss is that older issues also have a chance to come to the surface and be healed.  Life is cyclical and so if you are going through a painful loss right now, there is a chance that you went through a painful loss in the past that may also need to be consciously grieved.  Sometimes a relationship ending can trigger abandonment wounds from our childhood and teen years.  If our parents divorced or passed away when we were young, this loss may also be re-triggered.  Taking the time to feel and process all our feelings...the sadness and the anger...with people we trust will go a long way to lighten your emotional load in this life.  Use this time as an opportunity to clean your emotional closets and deepen your spiritual connection with your self and the Universe.  Keep in mind that you will heal and you have time to love again.  When you take the time you need to heal, you set the stage for a new life and love that is deep and lasting.


Be kind to yourself and thank you for reading :-)



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