Fun, sex and a great relationship is not impossible now that you are over 40 years old and divorced.
It certainly may feel like your chances are over as you try to dip a toe back in the playing field of dating. Yup, Unhun....it's scary as heck. I will concur! BUT there is a few tactics you can do to make sure you get the most out of your love life now!
#1 Make sure you are very clear with yourself about what you want BEFORE dating. "I'm just looking to see what's out there." ....is the wrong frame of mind when you are secretly looking for love but too proud to admit it.
Go ahead and throw that pride in the trash. Be real!
You're looking for a good man that is going to be supportive of your dreams, that is affectionate, got his sh** together (a car, his own apartment or home and a good job!). You want to be chased not BE THE CHASER. What I mean is, you want to feel wanted. He calls or text consistently and his words matches his actions.
#2 Speak up about what you want between the first date and second date! Let him know what you expect and what you are looking for. If he has a problem with it let him go.
#3 Ask him what he wants! Oh my gosh. This is so important. Don't wait months later to know that this man doesn't want a relationship. Yes, some men lie or they think they are ready but when they get close to you they bounce from fear...this is were you look at his actions. A man can't lie with his actions...they can't help it.
If he says he wants a relationship with you but never available or don't initiate communication or asks you out (not hanging out at his home or yours - in public), that's a red flag. Take it as face value and stop listening to the excuses. NEXT!
#4 Quickly process men that are not working for you faster. If you are dating a guy and you are doing all the work, then LET HIM GO. I know, I know sweety....you have feelings for him, he was passionate and romantic at the beginning and now you don't know why he has sort of disappeared.
The quicker you get over it and know this has nothing to do with you, the quicker you will find someone that WILL give 100%.
**Something is going on in his life that is keeping him from being a healthy participant.** It could be he is emotionally stuck and unavailable, he could have money issues that he is worried about, he might have another woman or is married and/or he is dealing with physical or mental health problems. ITS NOT ABOUT YOU!
#5 Stop telling your friends about your love life! I know you want advice, but know not everyone wants the best for you. There are other friends who over worry and give you advice based off of their own fear. I guarantee this will sabotage any chances of a good man in your life.
#6 Be what you are asking for. If you want a man that is compassionate and is excellent in bed than you better bring your 'A Game'! If you want him to dress nice and smell nice then that's what you need to be for him.
Dating in your 40's is way different when you are 20! You got to be focused and be ready to take action when things are not working. You can't fix a man! You don't have time for that.
Be honest with yourself without fear or judgment about what type of relationship you want and then there will be less hiccups, drama and confusion in the long run.
This is Jessica Spirit...
Your Expert Psychic & Tarot Reader
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