Love & Relationships

The root of strong and healthy relationships begins at the core. Tap into your core and nourish it. Love yourself first before you can truly love another.
You have a choice - conquer your anxiety, or let it control you. You are standing for your first roller coaster ride. Your heart is racing and your palms are sweaty as you watch the ride fly by. Are you going to be able to face your fear? Or are you going to sit this one out and miss out on the thrill? Many people will turn around and walk away, missing out on a great experience. The same situation comes up in all facets from jobs to relationships. You have a choice, conquer your anxiety, or let it control you! One of the most common experiences in life is feeling uneasy about a situation, and the most common reaction to anxiety is to avoid the situation. This avoidance is self-sabotage. Think about it, have you ever walked away from an important goal because it was just too hard to face your fears? I know I have. Although understanding the causes of your anxiety is important for overcoming it, the most important aspect is to focus on is how you respond to your fears. In fact, the ways that we respond to fears can often feed that fear and make it worse! By learning how you respond to anxiety and working to change those responses, you can overcome anxiety and accomplish some very difficult goals. There's one concept I'd like you to remember regarding fear and avoidance, it is the concept of 'negative reinforcement'. Understanding negative reinforcement will help you combat fear in your daily life, and it will also help you see the same problem in other people, which may be useful at times. Negative reinforcement refers to a behavior which is rewarded because that behavior removes an unwanted stimulus or feeling. For example, negative reinforcement in the case of anxiety can be thought of as "Avoidance." Each time you attempt to accomplish a goal, but you let the fear take control and back down, you are avoiding and thus negatively reinforcing yourself. You are sabotaging your goals just so you don't have to experience the fear anymore! The more you avoid anxious situations, the more likely you are to avoid future anxiety, therefore, inducing situations. It's also important to remember that overcoming your fears and avoidance behaviors takes practice. The more you face those fears, the easier it will be to handle the new ones that get in your way, and the more goals you will accomplish! Best Wishes, & Many Blessings, Miss Beverly
There are components of a relationship that can influence your self esteem and it's extrinsic rewards, such as the social standing it provides, and it's intrinsic rewards, such as meeting your needs of companionship and communication. Men are more likely to value extrinsic, elements, and women intrinsic, particularly using a relationship to benefit their self-esteem. You may or may not fit this picture of the typical male or female in a relationship, but examining what your relationship does for your sense of self-worth is a key first step in helping to make it work for you. Focus on deepening your sense of communication and connection to your partner. If you're more extrinsically motivated to be in a relationship, you could miss out on important ways of deepening your connection to your partner. Focusing on these intrinsic components of the relationship should stimulate you to try to communicate more openly and honestly to your partner, and your partner in turn, will be more likely to reciprocate. Our relationship is based on open, honest communication, and is likely not only to last longer, but you provide more satisfaction to both partners. Be willing to put effort into your relationship. A relationship will be strong and solid only to the extent that both partners are willing to work at it. A reciprocal relationship between effort and satisfaction in a relationship is crucial. The more effort you put into your relationship the more your partner feels that it truly matters to you; and the more satisfied your partner will be. This effort doesn't have to involve buying elaborate gifts or performing unusual favors, but it should involve showing that you care about improving your emotional connection, changing problematic​ behavior, and taking your share of the responsibilities when things go wrong. Use your partner as a sounding board for your other, less close relationships. It's with the person that knows you best that you'll be most honest with. Your partner, in turn is likely to give you more honest advice than anyone else you know. If you've got an important meeting with a work associate or need to discuss a problem with a friend, your partner will give you the best guidance. Whether it's deciding what shirt to wear for job interview, or figuring out how to ask your cousin not to play so roughly with your toddler at family gatherings, your partner is likely to be your best advisor. Being able to read the feelings and concerns of others is a strong contribution to Intimacy in a range of situations. You can find out just how right on, far off base, you are in your dealings with others outside your relationship by checking in on your people skills with the person who understands you the best. Have fun with your partner. Too often we save a serious side for a partner, leaving a playful side at work or with our friends. Being able to laugh with your partner; to do things that are silly; and to try new things just for the sake of trying them, are all the ways to benefit from the positive emotions your relationship has the potential to give you. An attitude of relationship playfulness can also extend to the bedroom. If you and your partner tend to get dragged down by the stresses of everyday life, and the time constraints it provides, put it into perspective with a little humor. This doesn't mean pulling pranks on your partner or pulling embarrassing surprises by finding a way to share in the joys, as well as the challenges life brings to you. Getting the most out of your relationship through these tips will help strengthen and solidify not only the quality of your relationship, but the fulfillment it provides. And if things are lagging a bit then recognizing what your relationship does for you can help give you the renewed motivation to give it the time and attention it deserves. Many Blessings, Miss Beverly
Your significant other should be your best friend. You should always be sensitive to a man's ego, this is a fact of life. And you should never try to hurt a women's emotions. Men's egos are huge and the bruised ego takes a long time to heal. It takes a negative toll on any relationship. It can be very tricky dealing with the male ego. Never criticize, instead phrase your criticism in a positive perspective, or even in a humorous way. Always give them the control. Men & Women have insecurities, remember to reassure him, and don't hesitate to reciprocate when he expresses his feelings toward you.