Psychic Medium Valerie Renee's Blog

Messages and Musings from a Spiritual Psychic Medium

I am often asked by my clients to explain just what twin flames and soul mates really are. There seems to be a lot of confusion on the twin flame / soul mate topic. I have decided to write about it, because I believe it is important that people be able to understand just what type of connection they are really dealing with in their personal and love encounters.

Twin Flames are literally the other half of your soul. You can only have one. At some point, in the cosmic scheme of things, your soul divided into 2 halves. We all come here, essentially, searching for that missing half of our soul, feeling a certain emptiness without it.  One half of that soul would be you, and the other half is your twin flame. In most incarnations, twin flames come in as one masculine and one feminine, so that if they find each other, they will be able to most easily draw together to become one again. However, do not be fooled into believing that you will always find your twin flame in the opposite sex, or even here on earth this lifetime. From one lifetime to the next, your twin flame and you could appear in many forms for many reasons.

I once encountered a grandmother and granddaughter who were twin flames. They would do things at the same time without even communicating it, because their psychic connection was so strong. They both even went into heart failure at the same time. I predicted and warned the family that this would happen, but can you imagine what the daughter / mother of these 2 ladies went through when they both were in the hospital? She thought it was the one thing I predicted that might never happen, but it eventually did. I felt so bad for her having to deal with that.

 I have also witnessed cases with clients where the twin flame is on the other side, working as guide for their other half, who is here for a lifetime.

Why do these things happen? Because twin flames may not be on the same spiritual  level with each other, and therefore may have to work through their negative karma in other ways in this lifetime, before they will be ready for a lifetime where they can accept themselves and each other enough to become one again.

Twin flames tend to have the strongest psychic connection. When you meet your twin flame, you will discover that you have been doing the same things in life at the same time as each other and making the same decisions in life at around the same time, even if there is an age difference between the two of you, the date / timing of your experiences still manages to match on big life decisions. This happens because of that psychic connection. You are sensing each other, even before you are aware of each others existence. Most twin flames are shocked when they realize they were doing things at the same time, because of their strong connection. Your twin flame shares your thoughts, because the two of you, are in essence, one. You might know what the other is thinking with no words being exchanged, and you can easily finish each others sentences.

Romantic twin flames tend to come into each others lives when they are the most spiritually aware. Twin flames sometimes may feel they did not even choose each other. It often feels like such a given, as if it was pre-arranged. They often feel as if they were already chosen by God for each other. Your twin flame is the literal other half of your  soul, divided in half, so that each of you could learn more, before coming back together and recombining as one.

The way to heaven, the way to eternity, is to learn as much as you can while apart from your twin flame, learn to keep God with you, listen and obey God's choices for you, and in the end recombine with the one person God specifically tells you is the one.
If you have progressed to a certain point, God will tell you, but it is up to you to listen and obey. And don't be surprised if you find that the 2 of you have a spiritual mission to achieve when you do come to a point of accepting each other...

Now again, do not be fooled into believing that meeting your twin flame is the key to a happy ending. It does not work that way for everyone. When one meets their twin flame, it can be absolutely beautiful. It is the most intense love you could ever possibly feel. Still, learning to accept someone so much like yourself, that you are so intensely connected to is not always easy.

Twin Flames are so much alike in many ways, and yet they still have the natural differences males and females have, and therefore, despite the psychic connection, still run into communication issues at times. All twin flame couples are still capable of this error in their relationship. The difference is, no matter what the misunderstanding is, you can still sense each other, and whether you want it or not, your love never fades.

Also, there are times where twin flames will encounter each other, but they are not on the same spiritual level yet, and they just can't make it work. This can lead to a lot of chaos and problems between them. They might have break ups and times apart. They may even decide to end things forever, and that it just can't happen this lifetime.

Despite the fact that the twin flame connection is the true God connection, we are all flawed human beings. If you feel that connection, yet you find yourself in a destructive relationship, you do still have free will to get out. Don't be fooled that you have to stay for your own spiritual advancement. Many have made that mistake. An abusive twin flame is not ready for the connection. Maybe that person has been put through too destructive or abusive of a life in order to even be capable of making it work this time. Will you have to come back another lifetime to work on it? Certainly, but you are not spiritually advancing with your twin flame, if they continuously beat you down on a spiritual, emotional, or physical level.

Many times, twin flames are so afraid of being truly connected to someone, that they will do everything they can to sabotage the relationship, out of pure fear. Many find themselves stuck in destructive realtionships with destructive patterns, because that connection is so strong, and the more advanced soul finds themselves simply hoping their other half will catch up, and stop living in fear, and perpetuating the destructive pattern. Sometimes, even worse, neither soul of this insanely strong connection has advanced enough to accept it yet, and in that case, both partners will do nothing but repeatedly push each other away and pull each other back. It's a miserable cycle that many twin flames face.

The biggest problem with a destructive twin flame connection though, is that the connection never goes away, so if you can't make it work with your twin flame, you will still feel them every day, and the pain never fully ceases, because this is your only other true half, so no matter what happens between the two of you, you can never fully get over each other.

 It is often unfair if one who has found their twin flame ever tries to get involved in another relationship, because they will never fully give themselves to the person the same way as their twin flame and the person they get into another relationship with will know it. They will spend their time with that person always thinking of the twin flame they lost. And even worse, their twin flame will feel their thoughts on them. Be very cautious in getting involved with someone else if you have encountered your twin flame. You are more likely to simply cause more damage to yourself, your twin flame, and the other person if you choose this route, so if it doesn't feel right, don't go there. It is better to remain alone then to dirty yourself with a person who does not feel right for you.

I have never witnessed someone completely get over a twin flame, but there have been occasional circumstances where there is still a soul mate waiting, because it was never going to be able to work with the twin flame this lifetime. But generally the twin who finds a soul mate still needs another partner to help them work through some of their own karmic debt.

Soul mates are very different from twin flames. We all have soul mate connections, and will encounter many, many soul mates in a lifetime. Soul mates can come in romantic partners, as well as in the forms of friends and family. We come together with a soul mate sometimes to work through karmic debt, a mission we have in common, or perhaps, to learn something.

 My daughter is a soul mate to me, who I made a mistake with in another lifetime, and had to relive something similar in this lifetime and make a different choice. We were brought back together so that I might work through some of my own karmic debt with her.

I have seen a good example of soul mates with a mission together through a romantic couple / husband and wife I knew many years ago. They were both highly intuitive, and they loved each other tremendously. It was obvious though that what really brought them together was a spiritual mission from God. If it was not for this couple, I might never have figured out how to pair my psychic abilities with my christian beliefs, and I will always be grateful to them for helping me, and so many others.

Sometimes, we encounter a soul mate simply to learn something together. I encountered one of my soul mates through a platonic friendship. He and I were brought together to learn things about energetics and meditation. Our learning was accelerated by encountering each other and remembering our past lives with each other, and our past life use of energetics. We both knew immediately that our time to work together was short and that we had a lot to learn, and that once we had, our time together in this lifetime would quickly end, as we both had other paths to take. That is exactly what happened. I'll always be grateful to this friend for the our learning period. People are certainly put in our lives sometimes for very planned out reasons, as was this friend.

There are usually past life connections to soul mates. You will often recognize them when you meet them as if you already knew them, because you have worked together for your progression in other lifetimes. There is an inner knowing that something is different, that makes a soul mate stand out more to you. Generally speaking, from lifetime to lifetime, your meeting each other on a planned life path, so that you each will achieve something. Some soul mates do have problems with each other, and not every soul mate relationship is meant to last, but a soul mate will often feel like a kindred spirit to you. Usually, when the soul mate relationship ends, though you may not suffer, as you would over losing a twin flame, or not for as long, you will generally be able to look back and see that you have learned something from the experience. You will know that there was indeed a reason for the connection, however long, or short term it might be.

Both the twin flame and the soul mate relationship have their value, and reason for being in your life. I am always willing to help people define just what type of relationship they are dealing with, because it also helps them to figure out what approach they should be taking in their relationships with others. If you are trying to define any of your relationships, and need someone to help you get down to just what you are dealing with, please, contact me. I would be happy to help you. Blessings!

You meet that person, and there is a connection that no matter what you do, just won't fade. It starts out so beautiful. It feels like a dream. Maybe it even is your dreams or visions, only now, they are surfacing in reality. The One, has come into your life, and you have never been happier. This is your perfect other half, and you know it. When you are with them, it's so amazing and intense, it is as if, you can almost touch God. This is your other half. This is perfection, and you know it... You can feel it...

But then, it happens. Fear starts to set in, and they run. You find yourself heartbroken,  lost, and feeling more alone than ever. And you ask yourself why? How could it be that perfect and then your other half just leaves you behind, as if you never even existed?

But you feel them every minute, or you think you do. You sense that your other half still wants you as much as you do them, but you wonder if you are just wishing or imagining it. Are you really feeling your other half? Is that even possible?

Then, they do come back, and the whole cycle starts again.
They come back, and they leave, and they come back, and they leave...

You find yourself questioning why you take them back when they keep doing this. Still, every time they come back, you take them right back again, hoping that special someone will finally stop running, and allow all the wonderful things that were supposed to happen for the two of you to finally unfold.

So goes the Twin Flame Shuffle! It's that dance of push / pull proportions that can send your head spinning! Perhaps you were always the type of person who never put up with someone doing this to you, but then, you never had this strong of a connection before either. Everyone is telling you that you should give up let it go, but you know you just can't do that.

And so, this painful dance continues...

I want you to know that despite the negative opinions you have, without a doubt, had to endure from so many others, I know what you are going through. You are not crazy, even though you might feel that way for thinking any one person could be so important to you. Finding your twin flame is never easy. You have to really let go of a lot of fears and be able to accept someone who is so much like you, and they have to do the same. The average person will not understand your connection. Not everyone has a twin flame here. It is a heavy spiritual growth process, and people often are not ready for it, when they encounter their twin.

Despite how it all feels, you are not alone. I have been there, and I know how difficult this dance can be, but if you and your twin flame can pull through it, there is a beautiful light at the end of the tunnel. Let me help you though the process. I am an intuitive and empathic psychic medium. I can help you to understand what he, or she is really thinking. I can help you confirm the feelings you are getting about your twin. I can help you to understand the communication gaps male and female differences can cause. I can help you to see whether the situation can be reconciled this lifetime. Please, let me help you find your way back to your twin flame, and to see if the dance of fears can be stopped, so you can have finally have your happily ever after.

So many psychics seem to get lost in the pursuit of receiving good messages, that they forget to pray for those messages. This connecting with your higher power, or source, is always important, for how can you expect anything from God, if you won't keep that relationship open, and ask?

One who is psychic should make it an important part of their life to pray for good messages in the morning when they wake, and in the evening before bed. Also, be sure to pray for good messages before giving readings.

As a client receiving a reading, prayer is also important. A client who wants to receive accurate psychic information should evaluate their intentions before receiving a reading. Prayer can certainly help that evaluation process.

The following simple prayer is an example of a prayer that could be used both by the psychic and their clients before the reading process takes place:

Lord, Please keep me pure of all negativity. Allow me to see, hear, and know all things true, and to keep false words out of my mind. Help me to keep my own bias out of the messages I receive, and only receive messages from the highest sources of knowledge and power. Amen.

As with everything else in life, God is our first source. Look to that source for help, guidance, and inspiration first. There is nothing wrong with asking others for a little help along the way. Getting a reading from a competent psychic can help you through great trials, give you added wisdom in times you are having trouble seeing through, and give you the foreknowledge to make wise decisions in life, business, love, and family situations.

I am simply suggesting that the power of prayer is significant, and can lead to a better reading experience for both the psychic reader and the client. There is an energy behind things when we express our intentions. It is no wonder that prayer would lead to better psychic readings for both the psychic and their clients. The power of prayer builds an intention and energy between a psychic and their client as well, allowing the entire reading to flow smoother, because both the psychic and the client have focused intentions together.

Before you give or receive your next reading, be sure to take time, consider your intentions, and pray on them first.

For a few days now I have been prompted by spirit to write a little on a topic I did not expect the prompting on. The reason is because I know this topic is one I am to write about in a book as well. The book will, of course, be in way more detail, but for whatever reason I was prompted that there was someone who needs to see some of this now, and can not wait until my book is written. Since then, people have said many things that have been clear pushes by the Holy Spirit to get me to move on writing this blog.

Today, an old friend from my high school / college years, who I used to spend much time debating the Bible with felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit to question me as well. Feeling inclined to explain things to him, led to lengthy responses, which I realized were the very blog I needed to write. And so, I write this blog today, using much of what I wrote to him, and others. I hope it reaches those God intended it for, and helps them on their path.

I have been questioned by many with a firm belief in Christ as to why I would choose to be a medium. These people usually end up telling me that what I do is witchcraft. I would like to start off by addressing this, before I go into the things I discussed with my friend.

I am not a witch. I do not conjure spirit. The spirits simply tend to come to me, and so do the people. I pray to the God I always have, and have a very strong faith in Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. I pray to God and ask only that his will be done, before I do anything to help anyone as a psychic, healer, or medium. I have the gift of healing and the gift of discernment of spirits. Still, I must test the spirits that come to me, just as the Bible says we must. 1 John 4:1. I must do this every time, because the devil is so deceptive, he can pretend to be anyone of the light. But a fallen angel or demon can not profess the name of Jesus without anger surfacing. So, when they are tested, they are unable to fool us.

There are people referred to in modern times as mediums who are not witches and very much have Christ in their hearts who see and hear spirits all the time. God allows this, and it is referred to in 1 Corinthians 12 (4-11) as discernment of spirits in a list of the many gifts of the Holy Spirit. The names of things and their meaning changes over time, so we just do not walk around in modern times saying, "I have the gift of discernment of spirits."

It is funny that I have had many Christians tell me that I can not be a Christian if I am a medium, because they claim it is witchcraft, but the witches in turn, have told me that I can not possibly communicate with the spirit world if I believe in Christ. So, where do I fit in? Most the time, I don't, but I am at least following God's commands to me, and I believe in Christ's love and divine mercy with all my heart, therefore, I am a Christian, whether others believe I am or not.

I would say to be forwarned though. There are people with spiritual gifts on both sides. So, while we use the term medium for all of them in modern times, there are good mediums who do their works by the power of the Holy Spirit and in the name of Jesus Christ, but there are also mediums who are working for the other side, sometimes not even aware that is what they are doing. Those mediums are led by evil and tend to be the ones who claim all is well and that there is no devil or evil does not exist. They fill us with pretty lies and deceptions, much like the devil, whose greatest achievement has been to make people believe he does not exist, so they could be led to sin easier. The fallen angels are very real, and we are at spiritual war with them. They do not play fair and they do not play honestly. Always be cautious when a medium tells you there is no evil, because evil is very much alive.

The fallen ones (demons) were cast down by God when they sided with Lucifer (the devil). They chose a full seperation from God and the light. Therefore, they do not get the opportunity we do to come to this earth and learn lessons, and grow and become more like God. When they turned away from God, they lost this opportunity, and so, they are angry and want to keep as many of us as they can from our own spiritual growth. They will stop at nothing and use any form of trickery they can to make that happen. The fallen ones, simply want to keep us from returning to our Heavenly Father. They want to make us more like them, by causing us to lose our connection to God. They will do this in many ways.

People seem to believe when you die that you simply just go to "Heaven or Hell", but judgement day has yet to come, so which kingdom of heaven we will go to has not been decided yet. Hell is more of a lack of being with God, or having a connection to God. There are spirits who suffer this terrible fate, and do not have to, but all of them have chosen to do so, and not because God does not want them. God always wants his children back.

Some hauntings are in fact, spirits in hell, because they have not moved on to the light. Some of them do not realize or understand that they have died. Those spirits, are in fact ones that can get out of their personal hell by moving on to the light, which is something I try to help many spirits to do. Hell is in fact, to be disconnected from God. When we are here in these bodies, we have that light within us. That light is God, or a part of God. It keeps us always connected to God in life, even when we, as silly people, choose to reject him. It is why we can never feel completely alone. Imagine death and losing that light though, and not returning to the source of that light, God. Imagine not feeling his presence, and not being able to sense any souls that are of the light. It is a painful existence for many lost souls. My reason for getting involved in the paranormal is to help those souls.

Sometimes, the devil tries to get control of people often by getting them to kill themselves, because physical death is the only way to disconnect them completely from God. To get them to lose their light, and then block them from returning to that source, light, God. Suicide does not mean a soul can not return to God, but sadly, the same demons who will convince someone to end their life, often fight to keep those souls trapped, by not letting them go to the light. This does not mean God does not want those souls back, but the longer the soul does not go to the light, the more difficult it is for any soul who is of the light to get through to that soul which has not moved on. I am often used as a go between, because I can communicate with both sets of souls, even though the souls in darkness do not recognise the souls in light, and again, I have been given the ability to help those souls get back to the loving arms of our Heavenly Father and regain their light.

I am simply a go between or a translator for many sides, because while we are all right there, we are in different dimensions, and somehow, God has given me the ability to communicate with all of them.

I have guides who teach me from the other side, and they often reference the Bible in their teachings. There is much in there that people just do not pay attention to. There is also the Book of Mormon, which I know to be true. Though I do not label myself Mormon for many reasons, I know the Mormons probably have more of the truth than most at this point based on my teachings from the spirit world, which are very close to much of Mormon theology.

The Mormons believe that we go to Heaven after Judgement Day, and until then, whether on earth, or in the spirit world, we are still learning, and preparing for Judgement Day and the End Times. I believe this to be true, based on what the spirit world has been teaching me. Here is a link that explains a little of what I am saying about the other side and the kingdoms of heaven.

Until Judgement Day, we are learning, whether here or on the other side. We can serve God as Angels, but we are all God's children, and therefore aiming to be more like God, not just a servant. Just as we still love our children when they make mistakes, so does our Heavenly Father love us.

As a medium, yes, I can indeed communicate with the dead, and help loved ones to be in contact. This can be healing, and often lead to both the spirit and the person being able to move on. Often times, spirits do not go to the light, because they are concerned with the grief of their loved ones here on earth. But again, they do not have that light anymore, so they are very alone, until they choose to return to God. So, spirits grow weary and want to go home, which is exactly where Heavenly Father wants them.

Some mediums are in fact evil and just acting on some other authority, and they too are spoken of in the Bible. I am acting on the authority of my Heavenly Father, and my spiritual mission is to help as many I can, both still living on earth, and those who have already died, to return to our Heavenly Parents. Sometimes those readings help, but there is so much I have to do outside of those readings.

We have a Father who loves us and in great mercy, sent Jesus Christ for us. The story of the prodigal son was told to make us understand this. Our Father wants us back, no matter the mistakes we have made. We came here to learn, but we will sin and make painful mistakes along the way. God gave us the commandments, just as we give our children rules to try to prevent pain. But as parents we know that our children will sometimes learn a bad lesson by breaking those rules anyway. We too, sometimes break our Heavenly Father's rules for us, given to help us avoid pain. It is important that we know that just as we still love our children when they mess up, and can forgive them with unconditional love, our Father in Heaven has that same unconditional love for us. He wants us to see that, and he always wants us to return to him, having seen the error to our ways.

Sadly we live in times where the devil is in everything. The spiritual war for our souls is stronger than ever. Those who are fallen angels lead a battle against us and our Lord, because they were cast down and therefore will never have bodies or the ability to grow like we do. They chose to turn away from God, and lost their chance to be as we are, with that light, and that strong connection. Since they can never have that, they are filled anger and hate, and they try to fill us with fear that will lead us astray to anger and hate as well. The fallen ones have put things in the mind of fearful men that have led to a world where sin surrounds us.

God simply allows this sin, and our free will to sin, because we need to learn our lessons. It is important to our growth and becoming more like God. Again, it is sort of like how we might warn our small child that if they do something, they will get hurt, but then we let them continue doing it when they do not head our warning, so they will learn their lesson when they get hurt. We then lovingly scoop that disobedient child right back up into our arms with love. God allows us to exercise our free will in hopes that we learn from our mistakes, and in the end, he waits for us with opened arms.

I hope that anyone who reads this understands. It does not matter what you have done, or how bad you feel about yourself for the sin you have committed and the mistakes you have made. Do not fall for lies of the devil. No matter what you have done, God still loves you, and God will always be there for you. He sent his son to die and lead the way to Heaven so you would have a chance for eternal life. Please accept that chance and look to the light when the confusing time of death reaches you. When you die, you will be able to return to the light and to God. God knew you before you were born and knew you would make mistakes along the way, but God allowed you to make those mistakes, hoping you would learn. In the end, you are just like everyone else, no matter what the sin. Please, let God into your heart, because that is where he truly belongs.

Twin flame connections are the strongest connection there could ever be. This is because twin flames start out as one soul, that somewhere through the cosmic scheme of things, divided into 2 separate souls. In most incarnations, and if they are to meet in that incarnation, twin flames tend to come as one male, and one female, giving them the opportunity to become one again, so to speak. Because of that, there is a psychic bond that they have every moment of life, causing them to make many of the same decisions in life at the same time, before even knowing each other.

Once they meet and realize how significant their connection is, it is really difficult to break the bond that is there, even if they happen to think they want to.
Even if apart, they sense each other all the time. Twin flame relationships have the potential to be the most beautiful and spiritually meaningful experiences, if they are handled correctly, and gently, by both parties involved in the connection. There is no greater love.

However, twin flame connections also have the most potential to become the most chaotic and messy relationships you will ever deal with. If not handled gently, they can become shear pain and agony. A lot of twin flame relationships become very push and pull, as each partner feels a fear of being hurt by the loss of the other, and can not to decide whether to push them away, or keep them close. Many twin flames will destruct the relationship in the most terrible ways, just out of that very fear alone.

When a twin flame soul made the choice to become 2, the intention was to increase the learning potential of that soul. We all come here to learn and become more like our heavenly parents. So, instead of one soul having many lives to plan, in order to learn and get closer to being like God, 2 souls have to now make 2 separate sets of life plans, in order to become more like God. Plans have to cover both the masculine and feminine traits of our heavenly parents. And so, we separate and plan our lives.

Many of our planned lifetimes will not bring us to meet our literal other half. We might, instead, find a comfortable soulmate to share our life with, during those times. The soulmate may be very familiar, as we may have many lives with that soulmate, and it can sometimes feel just like a twin flame, with the psychic connection, but it is still a different connection.

We all have many lives that are separate from our twin, and we have very few lives where we encounter our twin. When we do encounter our twin, they are not always on the same spiritual path. Sometimes, life or even many lives may have thrown one twin, the other, or both, off the path. They could have been abused and mistreated. They may have been through great depths of pain. Perhaps some of it is karmic debt. With their personal free will, they could handle the downfalls in life in a positive way, or a very negative way. The reasons are often unclear, but the one thing that is certain is that it has set them on a different path. Because of these differences in paths, and our individual free will, sadly, it is very possible to have a narcissistic twin flame.

Recognizing this situation is not always easy. Many twin flames have found themselves being subjected to abuse by their less advanced twin flame. For some, the abuse may be verbal on a regular basis. Some may have mentally manipulative twin flames. I have heard way too many twin flame stories where one partner, or the other, uses members of the opposite sex to hurt and manipulate their partner. Situations like this are very mentally abusive. Sometimes, twin flames can even be so messed up from abuse in their own past, they are physically abusive toward their twin. Since many twin flames do not find each other until they psychically open, and that often happens later in life, there are often children involved, and when one twin has been abused as child, sadly they often become aggressive, or abusive to their twin flame's children, as well. Abuse directed at you or your children could range from anything. It could be verbal, mental, physical, or at the very worst, even sexual. In any of these cases, forget the connection. It no longer matters. You must get out no matter how much you sense them. You are dealing with a sick individual, and that is not going to likely change this lifetime. Psychic and mental blocking techniques can be used and learned to help block that connection.

Because twin flames have the connection they do, and the push pull happens, even after abuse, many will make the huge mistake of wanting to still make it work, because the connection seemed so significant. Often, their twin will come back begging for forgiveness, with cards, flowers, tears, the whole 9 yards... Yet eventually, that person will still find some way to twist everything to make it their twin's fault that they are abusive. I have found myself having to tell many clients this through the years. Do not fall for this narcissistic behavior. The intention is to always gain power, or get the upper hand, because at some point in their life, they were severely abused, and felt completely powerless themselves.  Despite the connection you might feel, you can not fix them. It would be better to walk away.

Sometimes, the narcissistic twin flame might become more aggressive when you leave, and they know it is for good. Many have been known to stick around in bad relationships, out of fear. If you fear for safety, please, get a restraining order. Do not let the fear of pain from this abuser keep you around. Do not let threats of harm to you or your family keep you in this mess. Take any legal action you must, in order to get away.

Don't worry about what they they say or do with others when you leave. Good people will see the truth for what it is eventually. The narcissistic twin flame might even try to take it to the level of claiming something is wrong with you, and not them, despite their clear record of abuse. And it doesn't tend to stop there. They will run around trying to tell anyone who will listen that it is your fault, denying any wrong doing. They might even claim you have the mental problem, despite their own history or record. But stay  in your own truth, and do not be manipulated by their games. The narcissist believes they are wonderful, so long as they can keep power over others. Gossip and lies are often their last attempt to gain some power. Just close your ears to it, and walk away.

Despite the push pull twin flame relationships tend to have anyway, and despite the constant connection to your twin flame you are bound to feel, you do not have to stay with a narcissistic, power hungry, abusive twin flame. While good twin flame connections can lead to the highest level of spiritual growth, there is no growth to be gained from a narcissistic, controlling, abusing twin flame relationship.

It is far better under these negative situations to gain your own personal power and move on from it. Do not think you can not survive it. You can. You can get out.  God will not think badly of you for walking away from a controlling and abusive influence. Perhaps your greatest growth with a twin flame like this is to realize you have grown too much too lower yourself to be mistreated, and therefore, you have grown too much to be with them. The best answer is to bid them and all the drama they bring to your life a farewell, and pray for them, that one day, even if it isn't possible this lifetime, they might actually grow past the harm that was done to them through time and space, and become a better individual themselves.

Also, do not think that because you met your twin flame and they were terrible for you, that you are simply doomed to be mistreated by them, or alone forever. You can get out. You have that power to do so. And if you open yourself, God may have a comfortable soulmate waiting for you, who will be a far better partner to grow with this lifetime.

Through this blog, I am speaking of many different types of narcissistic behaviors. Some situations are far worse than others. I felt the need to make reference to all I could think of, including the worst case scenario, though confusing situations where someone stays, are likely to be more subtle than some of my worst mentions.

If you need help figuring out if you are dealing with a negative twin flame situation, and if it can change and be mended, or if it is following too many narcissistic patterns, and you need to get out, give me a call. I am always here to help, and will give you the truth, no matter which you are dealing with. The twin flame relationship can be the most difficult of relationships to be in. Please let me help you through.

About 13 years ago, I suffered a terrible loss. I was 6 months pregnant, and began having pains, as if I was in labor. I went to the hospital, and they said my baby no longer had a heartbeat and I was losing it. After several days of labor pains, and nothing actually happening, my body could take no more, and a dialation and evacuation  / extraction procedure was performed to remove the child that  had died inside me just days before. It was not my first miscarriage. I had lost many early on pregnancies (about 6 to 8 weeks), and even lost twins at 4 months. Still, I thought I was home free by the time I was that far along in the pregnancy.

Even though, I had many losses, the doctor said that since I had one healthy child, there was no reason I could not have another. I thought that was the case, and then I got sick. During the pregnancy I lost at six months, I was sick with pneumonia. I do believe the illness and my own body trying to fight it off may have hurt my baby, because I only got well after the pregnancy loss. I was at the doctor the day before the heart stopped and the ultrasound showed a healthy baby. The next day, the heartbeat was gone.

This loss was so devastating. Even the Doctor who performed the D and E cried. For me, it felt like the end of the world. I decided that day I was done trying to have children, and that my daughter would be the last one.

About a week to 2 weeks after the loss, I was just sitting quietly, thinking, when I heard a voice ask me, "What would you do if you were given a child who was not what is considered normal?"  The voice came from spirit. Even my response seemed intuitive, because I did not even think about my answer, when the thought came out of me, "I'd love him." Yes him. Somehow, I knew I would have a boy.

Despite my doctors belief that I could not possibly be pregnant so soon, it seems I got pregnant during a time that is really not considered normal. (2 weeks after the loss of my baby I became pregnant again.) I had dreams that would reveal problems with my son the whole pregnancy. Many told me I was just afraid, because I had lost so many children. No, I was not. I knew this boy was coming, but that he would be different, and I even gave spirit permission to allow this child to come through me. (It has been revealed to me many times that my son is here for my mother's growth. Had I not agreed to have my son, he would have come through my brother and his wife, because this soul, and the special needs had to be here, for my mother's sake. Not only have I been told by spirit, but my mother can feel a different connection to my son and knows for herself.) Maybe the losses I suffered made me more willing to accept this special child, or maybe I would have anyway. I am not sure. It simply happened as it happened.

Jonathan was always behind physically, but he did start talking at about a year old. By 18 months, he said some small sentences and he knew his body and face parts. He could even tell me he loved me.  Then, one day, around 18 months, it started disappearing. I was grasping at straws, trying to reteach him words he already knew. I could not figure out what was happening to my little boy. He still could not walk by that age, and now he could not talk either. By 22 months, he finally took his first steps, but the words were completely gone. Stimming became a regular practice at this point for Jonathan, and getting any eye contact or response to his own name became issues as well.

Just before age 3, at 33 months, Jonathan received the diagnoses of broad spectrum autism. At that point, we already knew it was severe. He had severe food allergies,  severe autism, and no speech. For a severe case of autism, Jonathan's behaviors were classic textbook behaviors, except for one thing. Jonathan was always affectionate, while many children on the spectrum lose or do not have the ability to show affection. Jonathan might have spent a lot of time hiding away from everyone as many autistics do, but he would come out if he could get affection.

When you have a child like Jonathan, you spend so much time trying to get services and help, hoping something will work, and you might hear words like "I love you." again, but nothing happens. Nothing ever seems to work, and the smallest step forward becomes something to celebrate. You cry tears, because you see other children your child's age, and you know your child will never be able to do the things they can, and your heart just breaks.

As he got older, he became more aggressive and his autistic fits would become more and more violent. This is very typical with nonverbal children, because they can not verbally express or vent their frustrations. Also, think of how frustrating it would be to want something and not be able to get your needs met, because no one understands you.  Intuition would become my saving grace on many occasions in dealing with my son's autistic fits. However, there have been times when I could not figure out how to calm Jonathan down, while he was busy hitting and kicking me during a raged fit.

Jonathan is now 12, and not much has changed, except that I have accepted he is as he is. I do not cry when I see children his age anymore. I simply love my son as he is.

However, he is almost my size now, and as he has continued growing, my fear of how bad he could hurt me has grown as well. As a single mom, I have no real help with him, and  I have often wondered how I would deal with it, because there have now been a few times he has hurt me. He has also taken on the habit of doing things to get negative attention, instead of positive, and sometimes, when he is reprimanded for the negative behavior, he will then go into an autistic fit as well.

Thanksgiving weekend was an eye opening weekend, and maybe even a little bit of an awakening weekend for me. My children were off from school for six days straight. During that time, my oldest and my youngest would want to go off and do their own thing a lot. (My youngest is also autistic, but likes to be more independent. He is a different child, and his autism is way less severe.) Jonathan however, was like my shadow. He wanted to be with me all the time, and I let him. He seemed to want so much affection during that time. I gave it to him. He drank the affection like water for his soul, and I could feel changes happening in him. For him to spend that many days straight at home with no autistic fits seems almost impossible, but there has not been one ever since.

It was during Thanksgiving break that I realized I do not have to worry about my son hurting me anymore, because now I realize what must be done to avoid that. I had the answer all along. Deep down, I knew the answer just before he was conceived. I was asked what I would do if he was mine, and my answer was that I would love him. With that answer, he was given to me. That answer was in fact, more intuitive than I even realized, because love was the answer the whole time. All the therapies and programs in the world have not done much to change him. Nothing has changed him a lot. I get the best out of him through loving him. The more love this child receives, the better he is able to do and the better he is able to cope with his autism.

That beautiful soul is not here to learn great lessons like most of us, but rather to teach great lessons with his presence, and that lesson he is teaching is simply to love!

(An update: This story was in fact written about 5 years ago. Jonathan is now 17 years old. He almost never has an autistic fit anymore, though he is still pretty non-verbal, and on the severe level of the autism spectrum. He does fairly well in following my directions, when he understands them, and does considerably well compared to most children on his level of the spectrum. These improvements are a good thing, and a blessing, considering that at 17, Jonathan is now much bigger than I am.)



Over my years as a psychic medium, I have worked with many clients who seemed to be ill for no apparent reason. Many of these clients have come to me as a last resort after countless doctors have not been able to find anything truly wrong with them. As one with empathic and healing abilities, I am able to scan people and find their illnesses, but there have been times when the scan shows, just as their doctors have told them, there is nothing that dramatically wrong.

In almost every case where there is no real health issue, I have been able to psychically pick up on instances and evidence of psychic ability, and pinpoint with accuracy when they started experiencing psychic phenomenon. In almost every case, these people have trouble being out in public. They find themselves sicker when they are out in public. Many clients come to realize through their session with me that they are empathic. By pinpointing a few public empathic episodes, they come to realize they are feeling the physical and / or emotional pain of others.

So, how does an empath learn to control this? How does one with empathic abilities learn to cope with the rest of the world? The answers are actually simple.

First off, we are all spiritual energy. Some of us have innate ability to take in the energy of others. I do not believe this is something we have full control over, but it does happen. Those who take a lot of the energy of others in, need to take time for them self. Meditation, solitude, alone time is crucial. This meditative time is very needed to keep one in balance for the work God has set out for them. Through meditation, they may come to understand why they feel so much from others and take so much of others in.

The second thing to always keep in mind when this pain comes up while out in public is that it is not your pain, and you do not have to take it all in. When you are out somewhere and start to feel this, remind yourself with this simple mantra, "This is NOT my pain. I do not have to feel this. This is NOT my pain." This should help you to block out some of this pain which is not yours to begin with. If the mantra does not work and you are a more visual person, then visualize yourself in a protective bubble created to block out the pain of others specifically.

The third and most important thing to keep in mind is that God does not let us feel the pain of others as a form of punishment. Those who can feel the pain of others are in fact, not just empathic, but also natural healers. If you are with someone and feel their pain, and they are comfortable enough to allow it, perhaps laying hands on them, in the place you feel the pain is called for. Ask God to heal them of their pain and / or anguish as you do this. You may find that they feel better from your help, whether the pain dissipates permanently or temporarily.

I also would highly suggest that anyone who is experiencing the trials of empathic ability check into learning a healing modality. There are many forms and modalities to choose from, such as Reiki, Pranic Healing, and Shamanic Touch to name a few. All modalities have the same basic principles in their early teachings, and will help anyone with empathic struggles to start to understand, harness, and transform an ability that seemed like a curse into a precious gift.

With so many people feeling the trials of empathic ability, I can not help but to think that if more people became aware, we could have enough healers to heal the whole world. Imagine the possibilities!

Frequently, I find myself explaining to clients why they are having relationship problems and what they can do to change it, or fix their mistakes. I have often recommended that my clients read "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" by John Gray, Ph.D. His books are a very valuable tool, which have saved many, many marriages and relationships, frankly, including my own.

According to John Gray, there are 6 basic emotional needs each man, and each woman, has in a relationship. They are, of course, different from each other, because men and women are in fact very different from each other.

When we understand the difference in our needs, we can learn what not to do in our relationships, in order to keep our love life flowing in a positive direction.

1. The top emotional need of every man is to have his woman's trust, while the top emotional need of every woman is to receive a sense of caring from her man.

So ladies, if you want him to care, do not accuse your guy of things. For example, women have a bad habit of immediately assuming there is another woman, any time things are not going the way they would like. Stop doing this ladies. When you have a good man, and you accuse him of this, you hurt him, and it causes damage that is not always easily fixed. If you are going to make accusations, get proof first. Too many times, a woman will ruin her relationship with accusations that aren't even true. The relationship will do much better if you believe him when he says he simply is busy working hard to make money for you, or to be able to do nice things for you. It would help to believe him when he says he is just stressed and needs alone time. In most cases, it's the truth!

 But that's not the only type of trust either. He wants you to trust his judgement on things. Let him take the reigns on some things, ladies. It will make him feel way better if you do. And for heaven's sake, let him pay for some things, or hold the door for you, ladies! It is so insane how in modern times, women think they should not let a man properly court them. Allowing your man to be chivalrous, when he desires to be, even in modern times, shows him you are trusting him to take care of you. I have seen way too many women destroy their relationship by not just trusting the guy to take care of them, claiming they are independent women who don't need a man. With that attitude, ladies, you might think you are helping him, showing him he doesn't have to worry about money so much, but it shows him you don't trust him to care for you, and you might as well be kicking him out the door, because he will leave you for it. The bottom line, if you do not believe in your man, if you do not trust him, or his judgement, he will feel it, and he will likely walk away, because a man absolutely has to have his woman's trust that he is doing his best for her. A man who is truly in love needs his woman to absolutely believe in him. If you can not give him that, you might as well walk away, because if you don't, and and you constantly make false accusations, he will be gone. If you sincerely know your man, and know he loves you, then you should truly be able to trust him, and honestly,  just trusting is a very nice, calming feeling for both the man and the woman involved...

On the same note, guys, she has to know you care, in order to trust. Never forget her special days, like anniversaries, birthdays, etc. She will believe you do not care, if you forget. She has to feel special to you. But it doesn't stop there... Call her. Text her.  Maintain regular contact. With long periods of not hearing from you, she can not help but think you do not care. The way you feel more loved when there is great sex, does not work the same for your woman. Just being sexually intimate without strong communication, will leave her feeling used and less interested in sex. She feels more loved, and then more open to sex when communication is more open between the 2 of you. Let her talk, and just listen. She needs that. Tell her you care about her and love her. Women are more verbal, and she needs to hear it regularly. And of course, spend special time together, with just you and her. Even if you are married and see her every day, that is not the same as spending special time with  each other. Plan regular date nights.

 Even more importantly, she needs you to put her first in your life to know you care about her. This is probably the most common mistake I find men make. If you are serious about a woman, guys, you have to put her before others. You can not decide your male buddies come first. And if we are talking as serious as marriage, you have to put her before everyone, including other adult family members. That means, you do not exclude her in an activity, for any of them. If you have friends who do not like her, and talk down about her, and you are truly in love and want to spend a life with her, then perhaps it is time to find new friends. Family might not be as easy, but if you want to keep your love in your life, just remember she comes first. And the biggest mistake a guy could make of all, would be to put another female friend above your woman. Guys, if you put other females first, you might as well walk away, because if you don't, your woman will. To a woman who is in love with you, putting others before her is the biggest sign of you not caring, especially when it's other females or anyone who dislikes her. Bottom line, she has to come first.

2.The second need of every man is acceptance, while the second need of every woman is understanding.

So ladies, if you expect understanding, accept who he is. Stop trying to improve him and be happy with the man you fell in love with. Women have a habit of thinking that they always need to improve things or make things better. So, women tend to make a lot of suggestions on how anything their man does could be better. This makes your man feel unaccepted by you.  Men do not like to feel like their woman is trying to control them, or change them, and that is exactly what this behavior makes a man feel. Most women truly think their intentions are good and pure, and only meant to help, but a man will only see this as a lack of acceptance.

Now guys, if you want her to accept you, she needs you to understand her. What does that take? Believe it or not, mainly listening. The mistake guys make is thinking THEY have to be the one to fix things. If she wants you to fix it, she will say so. Most the time, your woman does not want you to do anything more than listen to her, maybe sympathize, and understand what she is saying. Guys, I know you find it difficult to take less action when something is wrong, and she comes to you with it, but sometimes she really just wants you to listen and understand, not solve all her problems for her. If you find your woman complaining that you don't listen to her, this is probably the understanding thing she is wanting from you.

3. The third emotional need for men is appreciation, and the third emotional need of women is respect.

Ladies, this one is so simple, yet we women have a habit of forgetting to do it. When he does nice things for you, thank him.

An example of a common mistake a lot women make now is that when their man does the most for them, they tell him he needs to be more committed. Ladies, don't make this mistake! If he is doing a lot of wonderful things for you, he is being more committed. You ruin it by complaining about wanting more, instead of letting him know how much you appreciate the things he is doing for you.

On the same note guys, she wants your respect. Respect the work she puts into things. Respect the things she does for you. A bad habit of men, is that they don't see just how much their woman does for them and give it proper respect, until it is too late. Respect who she is. If you liked things about her at first, like her job or interests, don't talk these things down or disrespect them later, because to her, that will be disrespecting her.

4. The fourth emotional need of every man is admiration, and the fourth emotional need of every woman is devotion.

It's easy ladies. Admire him. We women often have trouble expressing our admiration, but men really do need the ego strokes, just as we do as women. Tell him how attracted you are to him. Tell him how great a man he is. Tell him what a good father he is. Tell him what a great provider he is. Trust me, he'll love it, and shower you with the love and devotion you crave in return.

Guys, she has to have your devotion. I already spoke a little about this under caring, because they sort of go hand and hand. She needs to know you care and are devoted to her and only her. Always put her first above others as your one and only.

5. The fifth emotional need of men is for approval, and for women, it is validation.

Ladies, believe it or not, your man likes to know that you approve of him and the choices he makes for you as a couple, or for your family. Disagreeing with everything he does will not go well.

At the same time, guys, do not invalidate her feelings. If she tries to talk to you about something, she needs to know that that you care. Do not shrug off the things that matter to her.

6. This leads me to the sixth and final emotional need, which for men is encouragement, and for women, is reassurance.

Ladies, all men do get down sometimes, and at that point, they need you tell them that you know they can do it. Have confidence in their abilities! Whatever it happens to be, just encourage them. Let them know that you know they'll do great at work, or out with the kids somewhere, or on the home project they are doing, or whatever it happens to be. A little encouragement will make them want to do positive things even more.

Guys, when she gets down, she just needs you to reassure her that everything will be alright sometimes. Hold her and tell her it will all be okay.

While men and women do have different emotional needs, clearly, they do go hand in hand. A lot of what I have used in my explanations comes from years of identifying the common mistakes clients have made in their personal relationships. Men and women both, make huge communication mistakes, and often do not understand what their partner is seeking from them and not getting.

If you need any help sorting through relationship blunders to figure out what you can do to improve your personal relationship, I am always here to help. Chat me up or give me a call!

It’s that time of year again and the holidays are here. We will deck the halls, scurry around looking for just the right gifts, wrap presents, bake holiday goodies, and so much more. We do all of this in the anticipation of a celebration filled with family, friends, love, and joy.

During the holidays, we will think fondly of our families and friends, and of the memories we’ve shared with them. For many of us, this inevitably means, we will remember people we have lost. We will feel sorrow, because we miss our loved ones and wish they were still with us.

Losing someone you love during the holiday season can make an already painful situation feel worse. It is the time of year where most people make a conscious effort to live in harmony. Peace, love, and joy are at an all time high during the festive season. Yet, when you lose someone you love during the holiday season, that peace, love, and joy can dissolve into the worst pain, depression, and heartache you can imagine. It can feel as if the world played a very cruel joke.

My father passed away at age 56, after struggling with stage 4 lymphoma. We lost him during the holiday season. The season was filled with sad memories of a year full of severe suffering we witnessed, as my father was transformed from a strong, amazing man into a weakened state of total dependence on others.

My father served his country proudly, first in the U.S. Army, and then with the government for almost 40 years all together. He was a pillar in his community, and loved by all who knew him. He was known for his strength, leadership, patriotism, loyalty, and dedication. He touched the lives of so many.

Without my father’s presence, the holidays are changed forever. Just a week after my father passed away, my younger brother would take over carving the Thanksgiving Turkey, as the new head of the family with tears in his eyes. The proud grandpa would no longer be there to dress up as Santa for his grandchildren on Christmas, or hold them while they opened their presents, and his. Our traditions were changed forever. Christmas was my father’s favorite holiday. His excitement was like that of a child, as he would always want us to open gifts from him early. Last year, for my family, the holidays just did not feel right.

Soon after my father’s passing, my family adopted the butterfly as a symbol for my father. Every time one of us saw a butterfly, we said it was a sign to remind us of my father’s transformation into spirit. My father went through such a struggle with his cancer that by the end, his body was very much like a cocoon. Because the worst of his cancer was in his bones and in his hip, he lost the ability to walk, and became bed ridden pretty quickly. All of his lymph nodes filled up with fluid, causing his whole body to swell to more than double its true size. By the end, the cancer reached his brain, putting him in a coma.

I remember receiving messages the night before my father’s passing from my paternal grandfather (who passed away before my birth). He gave very clear instructions on what my mother and I needed to say, in order for my father to willingly move on to the other side. I did as my grandfather told me to do, and went to bed that night, knowing it was sure to happen soon, and that his father would be waiting for him to cross over.

I prayed to be with my father when he took his last breath. I asked months before the time came, and was given a message that I would be the one with him. The night before his passing, I was awakened many times by the sound of my father’s voice in the room simply saying, “I’m ready to be released.” He died only minutes after I got up early that morning to go check on him, and by chance, I was the only family member in the room when he took his last breath. Within seconds, the rest of the family was around, and my father was passing messages through me, as so many spirits have, “Tell your mother I love her, and tell your brother I’m proud of him.”

My father’s messages would continue through the holiday season. On Christmas, he thanked me for making the trip again, to spend the holiday with my mother. (My family is in Atlanta, Georgia, while I am in Jacksonville, Florida.) He started trying to tell me about the present he had hidden for my mother before I even left town to go there. I told my mother about it, and she did not believe me, stating that if there was a gift for her, she would have found it. He persisted until my mother, daughter, and I decided to look for it. When we found the gift he set aside, all three of us cried. We were shocked to realize that he had actually bought something and set it aside for my mother just after the holidays the year before. This timing would have been just before he was diagnosed with cancer. Now here he was, a year later, in spirit, telling me where to find my mother’s gift from him. It was a simple train station for my mother’s Christmas village, which he picked up after Christmas at a Hallmark store. That train station became a valued and cherished treasure to my mother as the gift he managed to give her after his passing. Yes, my father’s spirit still lived on. With child like anticipation, my father still wanted my mother to open her Christmas present from him. He was there, and he made sure we knew it.

He was truly released, and his spirit did emerge, transformed to beauty, just as the butterfly emerges from the cocoon.

When my father passed, his father was with him, and I am confident that when my time comes to emerge, my father will be there for me. As a medium, I know that spirit never dies. Our loved ones are always with us, watching over us during our weaknesses and strengths, good times and bad. I give messages to those who have lost their loved ones all the time. While the messages and background information can vary from one spirit to the next, one message remains a constant. They always want their family members to know that they will be with them, and watch over them. They have no pain, and they want us to be happy. Just as the love you feel for someone who has passed on does not die, neither do they. The spirit, the soul, the very essence of the one you loved lives forever.

As you remember your departed loved ones during the holidays, try not to think of the suffering they went through. Think of the new body they have in spirit. Remember them fondly, with love in your heart. Think of them simply, as a gloriously transformed butterfly.

(This Blog Page was originally an article, written 9 years ago, in honor of my father, Thomas E. Blackburn, July 10, 1951 – November 13, 2007.)

These words are going to sound harsh, but they are the truth. I spend day in and day out giving readings to women, and some of them, thankfully not all of them, but some of them, are dealing with players. It is time that  women free themselves from this sort of man. It is time to wake up and free yourself from a situation that can only bring you heartache.

 (I apologize if this offends any good men out there. While there are a lot less instances of men being played, I do want to add in here, that in this day and age, sadly, there are female players too. So, good guys out there being played, bare with me on this one directed at the good women getting played. It could apply to some of the good men too, and be the woman who is the player.)

Honest and faithful women are beautiful creatures and deserve to be treated as such with love and respect. If you are with a man who refuses to see your value, no matter what you do for him, then there is really no reason to hold on. And if he is a player on top of it, no matter how strong the connection feels, you have to move on from it.

Now, there is more than one form of a player out there. There are those who are complete male whores, but there are also those who simply like to manipulate and play mind games for control. Neither one is a type that is worth holding onto. It is far better to let go and move on. You want a relationship where you can truly RELATE to each other, and game playing of any form is not relating.

If you ever have found yourself involved with a man who seems to manipulate women to do whatever he wants and use them against you, it is a good idea to get out. You are dealing with a player.

 If you break up, and he manipulates women to get at you, do not take him back. He is nothing but a player.

If he carries on about all the other women he could have had if he didn't bother with you, he is again a player.

If he uses other women to purposely make you jealous and set you off balance, yes, that is also a player.

If you have spent time in an off again and on again relationship with a person who claimed not be the player type, but managed to lure tons of women in as fast as possible every time you were off again, he's a player.

If he claims to be "so in love" with you, but then claims to be "so in love" with someone else within weeks of a break up, he is a player. I'm going to tell you ladies right now, it does not matter if he decides he wants you back, and claims it was only emotional, or just physical. I've seen cases of both. He is still a player. Those women are being played and so were you.

If you have an off again, and on again relationship with a man, and when it is on again, he tells you how certain women wanted him and behaved like they were way too promiscuous, then he re-acquaints himself with those same women when you are off again, then he is a player. He certainly wanted you to hate the very women he would use to hurt you. And he doesn't seem to mind that type at all when you are apart. Hmm.  Think about it.

 If you have had to battle with tons of women to keep them away from your man, over and over again, honey, get out of it. He is clearly doing something to encourage it if it keeps happening. He is a player.

If you find things that belong to another woman, and you know are not yours, but he pretends it is, well, that's a player, and cheater. Time to move on!

If you see his email and he is carrying on too flirtatiously with other women, and encouraging it from them,  he is a player.

If he does everything he can to make your break up public, possibly make it look like something it wasn't, and lure women in, do not take him back! He is a player.

If your guy continually shows any of these habits, puts your break ups in the public, or modern internet eye, to get other women chasing him, pretends you are not moving on to make himself more desirable to other women , but continues to chase you, follows you around town, shows up at your door, stalks you, etc, trying to "talk with you", don't take him back, don't answer your door, move on and away from that player.

There is never any sense re-acquainting yourself with a player. Maybe he only wanted to "talk" because he wasn't getting enough attention from the women he previously referred to as desperate, but if they give him attention, he'll back off. He just needs someone to play with...

 You want a man who does not try to get the attention of other women, and if his lures don't work quickly enough and he decides to chase you, it's not out of love. It's out of not having anyone else to play with. And if you were sexual, someone who treats you this way might just miss the sex, not you. That is a player. That is not love. And perhaps, it would be better to hold off on sex and wait for a true commitment, so you don't get played too?

Ladies, it is time that we free ourselves from those men who simply play too many games with our hearts. Let the liars and the players go. Love yourself first. Value yourself enough to not allow anyone to hurt you with continued game playing. There are good, honest, and decent men out there, and thank God for the good and true ones!  But if someone shows you they are not one of those men, walk away with your head held high, knowing you deserve better!

If you have been dealing with a player, take it from someone who knows, being single is not the end of the world, but a fabulous new beginning. You can be strong and you will survive. Being the owner of your own heart can free you, bless you, and be a true gift, leaving you open for the RIGHT MAN to come along!

If you are having trouble deciding whether you are dealing with a player or just having simple male / female communication issues, please, give me a call, and I will be happy to use the intuitive process to help you sort through, and figure out what is really going on, and what action is right for you.

So, I'm sure I got your attention with a title like that, right?

And don't we wish it was true, but any person who has ever been cheated on finds themselves feeling like they are the loser, at least at first. It just seems so unfair to that aching soul as they grieve the process of the love they believe they have lost, but if your love felt the need to cheat on you, you must consider there may never have been enough love there to begin with. Feeling unloved, is in fact a large part of the anguish and pain, but the truth is, somewhere along the way, you probably lost each other. You are constantly told by others to pick it up and gain your own personal power. You are told you do not need that relationship at all. And if you really are trapped in a relationship with a cheater, you don't need the relationship, and you truly do need to move on.

But what if you are wrong? What if you are making assumptions that he is cheating when he is not? So many of my clients come to me believing there is another woman. In about 40% of the cases, cheating is really involved. And in half of that 40%, both parties are actually cheating. So, only about 20% of the cases involve a faithful woman being cheated on by her man. These cases do exist, but it is not actually as common as many might think.

All too many times in society, we find ourselves in a position to play the blame game. The automatic assumption women, in particular, tend to make when their relationship is not going well, is he is cheating and there must be someone else. As I have seen with many clients, in my years as a psychic medium, women especially, are prone to believe that if he behaves strangely, in any way, shape, or form, or will not communicate, it is because he is carrying on a full fledged affair with another. Sometimes it is true, but sometimes, it is not.

And then, there is our lovely media outlets, feeding us constant propaganda to encourage us to be alone. They instill it in us to expect to be cheated on. Face it, sex is everywhere. They make it look like everyone is busy cheating and having sex on TV and movies, and they try to put that fear in us all. I've had so many clients compare their relationships to something they saw in the movies or on TV and it is just crazy to let that fear creep in based on the media experience, but yet it happens so easily. Men and women communicate so differently, making it difficult to understand each other, and with the media draining it in our heads that he will always cheat, it becomes hard for anyone to trust. Still, it is fiction, not reality. Please realize that and maybe turn the TV off?

Ladies, stop. Think about the man you have. Is he really that man? Is he capable of that? If you really believe he is, get proof before you act on it. Cheaters tend to leave a trail of evidence that is easy to uncover. He might smell like her when he comes home, he may have items that belong to a woman that you do not recognize, there may be texts on his phone, he may have charges on his account that should not be there. These could all be tell tale signs, so if you really believe he is capable of it, look for the signs. Pulling yourself out of the situation when you know it is really happening is a good thing. If he is really cheating, then it is right to gain your personal power and move on with your own life to find someone who will love only you, because that is exactly what you deserve. If you are like the 20% of the faithful women I have encountered who's husband's or significant other really did cheat, then I say you really have to move on. There is no other choice.

But again, what if you are wrong? What if you are more like the 60% of my female clients who are faithful women who have a good man, but he is behaving so strangely, he won't communicate, or he's not giving you what you need anymore, emotionally or physically? What if, despite the all the setbacks, he's really not cheating? So many, many of my clients have believed their men were cheating, and when I tune into it, most these men are just really busy working and trying to make ends meet, or they have just fallen into a pattern, and forgotten about their woman's feelings in the process. They might even be refusing to discuss things, and behaving like total jerks, but that does not always mean they are cheating. Sometimes, his strange behavior and lack of good communication between the couple, will lead to her taking off, believing she has to venture off and gain her own personal power and self-respect.

But does she really want to leave him? If she has come to me as a client, not usually. She just wants her man back, open to her and treating her as the lady she is. There are some rare cases where it just can't be worked out, but with better understanding of the male / female dynamic, and stronger communication, most any couple can make their relationship stronger than ever.

Personally, I sometimes think people run away for their own 'personal power' entirely too easily these days. Almost no one sticks it out like they should anymore. Families are broken and destroyed often for no good reason. What about the children? There are times when a marriage absolutely must end, but couples should consider everyone they are affecting before just ending it all. If they are married, the divorce will likely affect way more than just the 2 of them. So, I think that working on the situation and serious communication are very important first.

Get counseling, do couples weekends, couples therapy, etc. if need be, and figure out if it can be saved. If they truly loved each other enough to get together and especially, if they created a family, then they should do everything they can in exploring if better communication can keep their relationship together. When all else fails and a couple just can not make it work, then yes, move on. But try first. It's worth it.

(I will be writing on male / female communication gaps very soon as an extension to this blog.)

If you are wondering what is happening? Is he or isn't he cheating? Or perhaps, you are wondering how to get your relationship back on track to it's normal, harmonic flow? I am here. Please, let me help you...

  Working as a psychic, I frequently encounter female clients who have had a falling out with the love of their life, and miss them tremendously. They can't eat, sleep, or even think straight sometimes. All they find themselves doing is crying repeatedly. It is full emotional suffering. They call me, hoping for an answer as to whether their man still loves them. They call me wanting to know if there is any chance they will get back together. And almost every time, they want to hear that their man will chase back after them, even if they did everything they could to chase their man away.

As a psychic, I will often tune into the situation that has split them apart, or sometimes even a sequence of situations. Most of the time there is some sort of male / female communication issues that lead up to the break up, and the couple seriously is suffering from simple misunderstandings, because we, as men and women practically speak different languages when we are communicating. If the couple loves each other, and is willing to take the time to openly communicate and work through their differences, a situation like that can almost always be fixed.

However,  there are also times where in anger, we take situations way to far in our relationships, and that can be a whole different story. One thing I have noticed through the years is that women, who tend to be led more by emotions than men anyway, will say or do just about anything to their man, if they feel they have been wronged, or their feelings are hurt. There are sometimes, no limits to the biting words that will be said in the heat of an argument. There are certain words and things we all know to never say, unless we really do want to end that relationship for good, but we women sometimes let our own emotions get the best of us, and find ourselves saying those words we know step over a boundary we should never cross. When you are doing it, you may think something like "Serves him right!" or "He had it coming!" But honestly, when you say the words you know are off limits, when you say the thing you know will hurt the most, you have to be prepared to deal with the consequences, and the fact that you could destroy your relationship in doing so. You have to be prepared that he might even say words just as biting to hurt you in return. And realize that when you cross that boundary, you are risking something that could cause him to completely shut down to his feelings and leave you behind, possibly even forever.

So, what happens when you know you have said all the wrong things, and he has said goodbye because of it? What happens when it is clear that he has decided to move on? What happens when you still love him, and know that you are never going to get over him, despite the terrible things you and he have said and done?

This is where I often see women in particular let their pride get in the way. I want it to be clear, ladies. When you have messed up bad, and he has left you for it, he is hurting. He is not with another woman as so many ladies seem to want to believe is the case. He is hurting over you. He, without a doubt, misses you too, but he is angry, because you crossed a serious line. He is hurting because you crossed that line, and he felt it meant he had to let you go. He feels like there is no other choice in this. His pride is already damaged, and he feels like he is not good enough for you after the attack you launched. Yet somehow, under those circumstances, you would expect him to come back begging for you? Come on ladies. Your men are not superhuman...

So many ladies honestly do make this same relationship mistake. They know they have stepped over a relationship boundary and caused the break up, but because their man broke up with them over it, they blame him and say that he has to be the one to come back. Why? If you messed up, what on earth would possess you to believe he should come to you? Honey, you messed up... If you love him, you need to contact him and make it right. Quit depending on the archaic belief that as a female you should wait and the man has to want you enough to come after you every time. Stop expecting your man to chase you, and be willing to fix the mistakes you have made!

Many women have even told me that they will not go back, because it would show they have no pride in themselves and that their man would never respect them if they did. Again this belief is wrong. He is really hurt. He thinks you don't love him, but you expect him to be the one to come back when he is so in love with you, but you have said or done something that makes him think you don't love him? Ladies, it's not about pride. It's not about pride. It's about LOVE. If you truly love him, let go of the pride thing, please. You will save yourself a world of pain if you are willing to be the one to apologize to your man when you are wrong. Stop waiting for him to give in first, and let go of the pride. It's wasted and it wastes so much time that a couple could be happy together instead.

When you truly love someone, it is okay to bend  the rules for them. End both of your sufferings. It's okay! If you both love each other, there is no pride, there is only love, and it is well worth it.

There are days in which something clicks in me, and I can not help but cry for the world , and people, in general. Many would say it is the Empath or the Shaman within me. I do not know where it comes from, or if other people get like this too, but I usually keep it to myself, and don't tell anyone, or write about it, for that matter.  This blog, was written on one of those days of feeling the world's pain. If I offend anyone with this blog, I am sorry, but I do still believe there is an important message in here, not just for the holidays, but every day.

The world is full of so much pain. Where there should only be love, fear breeds, and can lead to so much anger and hate. This happens, not only within our personal lives, but within the world in general.

On a small scale, families are not together for the holidays over family quarrels that have no reason to even exist, if everyone simply allowed love and forgiveness in their hearts. So many things could be communicated that could change people's hearts, if they allowed that change to happen. Lovers split up and face the holidays alone out of a fear that they could end up being hurt, only perpetuating their fears to happen. Again, love and communication could often easily change this.

Not to make personal problems sound trivial, but when we look at our nation, and the world front, as well, the fallen world becomes even more apparent.

  In the U.S.A. people have been beating, and even murdering others over their political beliefs, choices, and votes around the country, but especially in "Blue State Regions". People hate over something as silly as skin color. People were recently brutalized with frozen water in freezing temperatures, as they fought to protect their land and water systems at Standing Rock. And meanwhile, our poor continue to be poor, as they sit on the streets in cold, harsh weather with no place to go, needing someone to help them, someone to care. Women and children suffer. Our elderly suffer. Even men who served our country suffer this way. As a nation, we should feel shame for this.

On the world front, people are dying, losing their family members forever, as bombs hit their homes, in the name of senseless war. Refugees who do not understand Western culture are raping western women, believing that is what they deserve. Again, on the world front, death, devastation, and poverty reign in so many places.

Both our nation and the world seem to be on the brink of war. Something, something needs to change...

Never before has my heart felt so heavy around the holidays. It might even leave one wondering where God fits into all of this? Well, it is the fallen world, but the truth is, God does not fit into fear. Many try to use God as their excuse while they live in the destructive fear zone, but the truth is, those who do this are simply hypocrites. There is no fear in God. In God, there is only love.

God only loves you. No matter what you have done wrong in your lifetime, you can still be forgiven, because God always loves you. You are a divine child of God. He loved you enough to send Jesus Christ as an example to live by. And Jesus never lived in fear. Jesus was all about love. He lived for it, he fought for it, and he died for it.

As we head into this holiday season, please just let go of your fears, and simply love one and other. In the absence of fear, only love can remain. Letting go of your fear  is important to do both with your personal relationships, as well as with anyone you come in contact with. For we are all one, and each one of us has the divine spark of God and Love within us. Forgive, live in peace, and love those around you. When you see someone who needs a hand, offer help. Perform random acts of kindness for your fellow man. When you can give, please give. I know it sounds crazy, but so often, one small random act of kindness can change the world, or at the very least, it can change the world for that one person. So please, work past fear, anger, resentment. Make this holiday season exactly as God intended it to be. Make it all about love.
MGTOW - Men Going Their Own Way - The average MGTOW man will never really love, respect, or care for a woman. This group teaches men how to deceive women, take what they want, and leave the woman buried carelessly in a pile of garbage when they are finished. Few of them fully go their own way. Things would be so much simpler if they actually did. Unfortunately, most MGTOW men tend to just mistreat and use women, with no intentions of ever committing to a woman. This group does not see the value of women as anything other than objects.

The average MGTOW man might play around with you and pretend to want to marry you, but he never will. He will simply use you for what he can take, which usually means sex, if you let him. He will play mindless games with your heart, because frankly, he doesn't care. You are only an object to the common MGTOW man. He will never be able to even truly see you as human.

The men of this group commonly have plans for women they will share with other men, like "Don't fall in love and don't get married. Make her think you will marry her, but don't. Just use her for sex as long as she will let you." On the other hand, if one of their MGTOW brothers made the mistake of marrying the wrong woman, or whatever the case may be, and he chooses to get a divorce, the average MGTOW man would encourage him to avoid paying child support or alimony at all costs. This group overall seems to love the idea of leaving mothers and children high and dry to suffer. A man who does this to his family; a man who runs from his responsibility, is considered a hero in the average MGTOW man's eyes.

It is important that women know about this group that has formed for misogynists, because they are taking the damaged men of the world by storm, and teaching them how to deceive and damage women beyond repair. Maybe he has deep rooted issues because his mother abused him? Maybe his mother abandoned him? Maybe he married the wrong woman, and everything went very badly for him? It doesn't matter what the situation. The man espousing to MGTOW philosophy could not have grown up with any positive female influence, and you won't be able to fix that in him no matter how much you think you love him. It is far better to maintain your own sanity, and walk away.

To this type of man, you are only an object to be used. All women are simply objects to be used. Always keep that in mind when dealing with any man espousing to this hate group's philosophy. Men like this do not have the ability to carry on a decent, loving, and respectful relationship. They are not capable of love, and no matter how special you are, you just will not be able to change that. So, if your guy decides to espouse to those beliefs, get out, and run as fast, and as far, as you can, because the more he gets involved with this hate group, the more he will feel encouraged and righteous to treat you badly, and no one needs that in what is supposed to be a mutually loving relationship.

It is so much better to walk away, and open yourself to a positive relationship built on true love, respect, and caring with a good man, capable of truly seeing you for who you are. He does exist, but you have to be open to him for him to come into your life.

This is a poem I wrote many years ago about my own Spiritual Awakening, which I have often referred to as my 2 weeks of hell. It was a time of spiritual bombardment that left me in fear and unable to sleep at night. The Awakening is a struggle every mystically inclined person must one day face. At the time, I had no one to help me through my struggle with awakening, which made it even more challenging. Still, I learned and found my way through. If you think you may be going through a Struggle with Spiritual Awakening, you do not have to do it alone the way I did...Give me a call. I can help...



I spent my life fighting.
I spent my life flighting.
I was trying to be
someone that's not me.

Most call it a gift,
but I thought it a rift
in my plans to have others love me.

I sang and I acted with all of my heart,
thinking that it was the only part
of who I was meant to be.

One day I would know
you can never let go
of a plan that is yet to be seen.

The spirits would speak to me through my whole life
You WILL be a mother.
You WILL be a wife,
But God has other plans when you get through the strife.

They tell me to listen
Because I can hear.
They say I'll be different
and to God I'm Dear.

They say I'll help more
 if I lose my fear.
To me that seemed silly.
What I wanted rang clear.

I just wanted to be loved,
The gift seemed a curse that was sent from above!
This hearing I had
Well, it got me in trouble.
So, I pretended to not hear them
and blocked it for double.

If I could just hide it,
then no one would know.
I begged and begged God not to see.
Make them go!

But one day the pleading would not work any longer.
The Lord made it clear that I had to grow stronger.
I could not block anything out from then on.
The good, bad, and ugly would come to me strong.

But how do you know the difference when all you have done is fight.
Return back to God in pure love and you might.
But how does one ask God for help here , you see,
when you can't trust yourself, and you don't feel worthy?

It took time to resolve this.
2 weeks of shear hell,
but when it came to the end, I knew everything well.

To have faith in God you need faith in yourself.
Knowing this leads to a much needed wealth.

If you can't love yourself, then you can't believe God will.
So believe in yourself and let your heart fill
With a love that only God can provide.

Be aware who you are.
From yourself, do not hide.

This may sound easier said than done,
But see yourself as another, and you might have won
a triumph against your negative side.
The truth can not hide
forever in lies.

See that you have good traits and bad,
and some of the traits may make you sad,
Realize we all make mistakes here, you see.
and God is forgiving,
Just as you ought to be.

So forgive yourself, and love yourself too.
It might just lead to a better you.

Ironically, when all had past,
the love I needed was there at last!

For the love can not come from an outside source.
It has to come from within first, of course.
If we love ourselves enough to grow,
Then we can love others too, you know.

And our faith in God becomes restored.
I knew I would be protected for ever and more.
Self awareness through grace saved me.
and now I am clear what God chose me to be.

I do not fight it.
I see it's a gift.
I do not call it a terrible rift.

I do not need the approval of others.
I know who I am, and it's not undercover.

Thank you God for making me see,
 that I'm good enough if I just be me...

More Posts Next page »