When you meet someone they present a persona to
you, based on their evaluation of you and what
similarities you have. They do not do this on purpose
to be deceitful. Yet, everyone..yes everyone does it.
We show what is the same to gain acceptance.
Have you ever been with someone, or a friend to
someone, and they "change"...or their TRUE
COLORS come out and you feel you are finally seeing
who they are? This is enlightenment..you have moved
past the mask...they actually have accepted you in
reality at this point. They feel that you will accept
their differences instead of loving yourself in them.
At this point in a relationship/friendship...we
sometimes feel deceived. Quite the opposite has in
fact taken place. We do not feel the need to look
perfect, and feel on our best behavior anymore.
6 months is the magic number for this situation.
It takes that long for someone to be at ease and get
really REAL. Some will deny this. That's fine. Watch
and believe your own truths. I have seen this again
and again myself, so it is one of mine.
Once the masks come off, we reevaluate the
relationship..not all marshmallows and roses. These
habits that are annoying us now, will stand out.
The aloofness that shows at this point, we don't
understand where it came from. We find ourselves
chasing down the same attention that use to be
lavished on us without us having to ask. We ask
WHY? Where did this nice person we know go? The
answer to that is..nowhere. They are still around and
they feel comfortable in the relationship to be real
and let go. They are not trying to walk on eggshells
forever. We are not perfect ourselves. Why would we
deny someone just because they didn't act
"perfect"(or a certain way to us..that we like) towards
us anymore?...Ah, but we do, and we will. We use this
6 months to put in the time. We establish ourselves,
so once we are KNOWN, we will be remembered as
being good enough to be still accepted.
To love is to be free to BE. If we restrict ourselves to
fit in someone elses ideals of us, we deny love to a
part of ourselves. When we realize we have been
doing this...We throw that restriction off of ourselves,
or drop our mask.... We carry layers of them. One for
an interview...One for family occasions...ect
We even develop tones that are not aligned with our
regular speech. Ever hear someones voice get higher
and more bubbly? How about a new accent? You
even hear it in yourself..when you start repeating
"cool slang" that you decided to repeat within certain
groups. Teenagers are a great magpie example.
Adults will adopt this as well. This is all our
subconscious aligning us with the people around us
to fit in. We NEED others. We have seen humans
who have not been accepted, and how it has
absolutely wrecked their lives. Before you go saying
where did the man I know go, this isn't the guy I
married..or My friend is a two-faced...Remember..."If
you knew your potential to feel good, you would ask
no one to be different so that you can feel good."