Keen Category: Love Advice
Are you frustrated in the dating world trying to get to know someone, then all of a sudden, *POOF* - they disappear? Or have you recently had a friend walk out on you, block your number, and never hear an explanation of what happened?
Statistics show that 1 out of every 5 dates ends in a ghosting attempt. For those who aren’t familiar with the term, Urban Dictonary defines “ghosting” as the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone suddenly and without explanation, withdrawing from all communication.
It is indeed sad that this is on the rise. What could be contributing to this phenomenon? Through personal experience as a psychic and listening to thousands of clients' stories over the years, here’s what I’ve found:
We live in a world increasingly full of disposable items and behind the safe curtain of the Internet. Relationships can be more detached with less liability if formed from behind the screen. This is certainly not the only reason people ghost. But it does help to ease the guilt associated with it. Just block the person and move on.
Increasing Gender Polarization
Though this is not true across the entire spectrum of male and female, it is true that it seems that the masculine and feminine are described more accurately in the book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray, PhD. Some men, but not all of them, are conditioned to become "tougher" and "more resolute" such as NOT to share their feelings with a woman. Other men may have residual trauma from their childhoods left unaddressed. A dominating mother may have contributed to an inability for a man to feel loving feelings around a romantic partner.
Women, on the other hand, may have been encouraged to become super-independent, are working and earning in their own careers, and don't need a man to complete their world. Many women use their modern status as power in a man's face, which can serve to intimidate and make the man feel like he has no worth. Other women have also lost the fine art of respecting a man, even when he is "wrong". It is true that respect is the greatest aphrodisiac a man can receive. Without respect, a man feels belittled and unattracted to the woman in return. Still other women feel the need to save the man rather than simply let him fall into his own trampoline and find his self-worth.
Lack of Courage
In both genders, a simple surrender of the fear of embarrassment could help things greatly in confronting why the connection ended. Say for example, one finds oneself blocked on social media, but the phone number has not been blocked. The person who picks up the phone for clarification is the hero. Once this has been done, closure has been established, and both parties can go about their day.
One reason people turn to “ghosting,” is that they the other party will not accept the boundary. This gets really tricky, because ending a relationship connection of whatever degree can become extremely emotional and potentially heated. The best thing one can do here is to take a deep breath and perform a grounding / centering exercise prior to notifying the other party of their desire to cease the relationship. An Epsom salt bath is especially helpful to calm the nerves and quench your fears! It really is true that the other party can FEEL your energy as you say your intentions.
What to Do if You’ve Been Ghosted
Now that we've looked at the various reasons people choose to block or ghost, let's look at what to do if YOU have been ghosted:
1) Perform self-love and self-care. This can include writing in your journal, focusing on healing affirmations about your own value and worth, and taking care of your physical needs.
2) Go out and find others to socialize with. Do this when you are ready. Some people need alone time more than others do, so be mindful of your own personal radar zone. Don't FORCE new friendships. Just go with the flow!
3) Explore new cultural activities. Going out to eat with friends or family, or taking a new class can be especially helpful methods for expanding your horizons. You never know how your vibe can get discovered by sheer accident!
4) Take in the inspiring awe of the Universe. For me, my favorite activity is going for a walk before dawn and stargazing. As an astrologer it packs a double punch. It may be different for you. The key here is to feel connected to a Power greater than yourself.
Last but not least, don't despair. The fact you connected with this person is evidence that if you keep up the good work and love yourself first, GOOD THINGS ARE COMING!
About the Author:
Esther has been a professional psychic reader for five years. She met her mentor in 2013, who took her existing astrology knowledge, along with teaching her the Tarot, and transformed her into the psychic she is today! Esther has over a twenty-year background in healthcare prior to her psychic career, with over half of that experience devoted to mental health and psychiatry. Her combined experiences of psychic readings and psychiatry make her the perfect advisor to guide you with her intuition.