{"id":1132,"date":"2017-07-18T00:58:08","date_gmt":"2017-07-18T00:58:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.keen.com\/newarticles\/uncategorized\/is-it-okay-to-lie-on-your-online-dating-profile"},"modified":"2021-05-24T20:04:57","modified_gmt":"2021-05-24T20:04:57","slug":"is-it-okay-to-lie-on-your-online-dating-profile","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/love\/is-it-okay-to-lie-on-your-online-dating-profile","title":{"rendered":"Is It Okay To Lie On Your Online Dating Profile?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll never forget my date with a guy\u2014I\u2019ll call him Steve\u2014who I had been corresponding with online for a few weeks. We were due to meet, and I was waiting in the cafe. I scanned the room when I walked in, not seeing the tall, blond, bearded man from Steve\u2019s pictures. Finally, I decided to leave\u2014he had totally stood me up. Then a bald man I\u2019d seen earlier approached me\u2014clean shaven and about two inches shorter than the 6\u2019 of his stated height.<\/p>\n

He said \u201cIt\u2019s me, Steve!\u201d after I clearly did not recognize him.<\/p>\n

Um…okay. So who was the guy in his profile pics? I\u2019m not kidding\u2014he looked nothing like the pictures I\u2019d seen. When I finally asked about his pictures (since he hadn\u2019t mentioned it), he said he used some stock photos, all with the same guy, because he wasn\u2019t photogenic, and his buddies told him to do it.<\/p>\n

Seriously?<\/em> Needless to say, I wasn\u2019t interested in another date. I mean, he was nice enough, attractive, in his own right. But he seemed to think that misrepresenting himself was totally fine.<\/p>\n

I always tell this story when my clients ask me if it\u2019s okay to lie on their dating profiles.<\/p>\n

First off, it\u2019s not my job to tell people what to do or how to live their lives. But typically, people want to know if there is some spiritual penalty they will have to pay, some \u201cbad karma\u201d that will come their way if they tell these little lies. Again, I\u2019m not in possession of The Truth, but I know what I believe and have seen over time. Lying about yourself to others\u2014however small the lie may be\u2014will usually turn out, if not bad, then kind of meh<\/em>. What I find more interesting is why we feel we need to lie and the level of self-acceptance that lies at the heart of this issue.<\/p>\n

Bad Karma?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

In our infinitely compassionate and loving universe, I\u2019d say that the Divine has no interest in punishing you for lying about your weight on your dating profile. That\u2019s not how karma works anyway. Karma is cause and effect\u2014period. It\u2019s neutral, although we can interpret karma<\/a> as being helpful or positive, hurtful or negative. If you lie, will someone lie to you in return? Probably. Because you, as a growing soul, want to experience how lying works\u2014all sides of the coin. In the meta, there is no judgment about if lying is right or wrong; only if it is an experience that brings us closer to our divine selves.<\/p>\n

So karmically<\/em>, what you put out there will come back, until you decide to experience something different.<\/p>\n

My client Wendy illustrated this beautifully. She consistently struggled with her weight and hated this about herself (the real issue), assuming that because weighing twenty pounds over her ideal was unacceptable to her<\/em>, it would be for others, too. \u201cAnd I don\u2019t want to attract fat guys,\u201d she said. A very<\/em> telling statement.<\/p>\n

She complained to me that she consistently got matched with men who turned out to be older than their profiles suggested. A few of these men had outright lied about their ages; others used misleading pictures. She found this outrageous and frustrating. They, in turn, often mentioned that they thought she\u2019d be skinnier (ugh, I know). I pointed out the cause and effect of the situation. She didn\u2019t like omissions and falsity but was mad when people accused her of the same.<\/p>\n

\u201cWeight isn\u2019t the same as age!\u201d she protested. \u201cIt\u2019s a totally different thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

That wasn\u2019t the point, and ultimately she was able to see that the real issue was self-acceptance. Her lack of esteem was attracting men who felt the same about themselves. When she put a recent picture of her heavier self on her profile, she stopped attracting men who lied about their age. When she began to address her own judgment of \u201cfat people,\u201d she was able to accept dates with men based on more important qualities than weight. In fact, the man she\u2019s been dating for six months now was thirty pounds heavier than his ideal. They started out as gym buddies to help each other lose weight, and it turned into a great relationship.<\/p>\n

Who Are You Trying to Impress?<\/strong><\/p>\n

When clients want to lie about how much money they make, their age, weight, or how much hair they have, it is always<\/em> indicative of a self-worth issue. We all have things we don\u2019t like about ourselves, but, of course, society has us believe that unless you are perfect, you won\u2019t find love, passion, or the partner you desire.<\/p>\n

I help my clients challenge this belief. When we dig deeper into past life issues<\/a> or work on energetic blocks to love, we invariably find that the person they are trying to impress is a figure from the past! If not mom or dad, it\u2019s that first crush, the prom king, the head cheerleader, or someone from ten lifetimes ago. With patience and healing work, we can release the old judgments and learn to be more self-loving<\/a> and accepting.<\/p>\n

Lying on your dating profile isn\u2019t a capital crime, and I don\u2019t support guilting people out or judging them. But I always counter the questions, \u201cIs it okay if\u2026\u201d with, \u201cWhy do you want to?\u201d I guarantee that if you deal with your self-judgments and self-loathing (a hard word, but we all have it), you will be in a far better position to attract the healthy love you want. And you won\u2019t have to bother with the question of \u201cto lie, or not to lie.\u201d<\/p>\n

It takes guts to put yourself out there in the online dating world. But life isn\u2019t a magazine or soap opera. People have flaws, and people have amazing, unique idiosyncrasies. We are all a work in progress. If you love yourself and accept this, then you can just put yourself out there. Your honesty and courage will bring you back the same in return.<\/p>\n

If you are grappling with self-love issues or relationship questions, an advisor on Keen<\/a> can be of great service. Get the support you need today!<\/em>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ll never forget my date with a guy\u2014I\u2019ll call him Steve\u2014who I had been corresponding with online for a few weeks. We were due to meet, and I was waiting in the cafe. I scanned the room when I walked in, not seeing the tall, blond, bearded man from Steve\u2019s pictures. Finally, I decided to …<\/p>\n

Is It Okay To Lie On Your Online Dating Profile?<\/span> Read More \u00bb<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":34,"featured_media":2435,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[123,124,316,381,461,464],"class_list":["post-1132","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love","tag-dating","tag-dating-advice","tag-love","tag-online-dating","tag-relationships","tag-resolutions"],"yoast_head":"\nIs It Okay To Lie On Your Online Dating Profile? - Keen Articles<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When setting up an online dating profile, it may be tempting to lie or exaggerate. But your love life will be better if you can accept who you are and present yourself with honesty and openness.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/love\/is-it-okay-to-lie-on-your-online-dating-profile\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Keen Editorial Staff\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/love\/is-it-okay-to-lie-on-your-online-dating-profile#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"\/articles\/love\/is-it-okay-to-lie-on-your-online-dating-profile\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Keen Editorial Staff\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/#\/schema\/person\/28dd5a9acbd7334178ff47f404955a71\"},\"headline\":\"Is It Okay To Lie On Your Online Dating Profile?\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-07-18T00:58:08+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-05-24T20:04:57+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"\/articles\/love\/is-it-okay-to-lie-on-your-online-dating-profile\"},\"wordCount\":1073,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/love\/is-it-okay-to-lie-on-your-online-dating-profile#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2017\/07\/d1_online-d-tips-thumbnail_V1.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"dating\",\"dating advice\",\"love\",\"online dating\",\"relationships\",\"resolutions\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Love\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"\/articles\/love\/is-it-okay-to-lie-on-your-online-dating-profile\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/love\/is-it-okay-to-lie-on-your-online-dating-profile\",\"name\":\"Is It Okay To Lie On Your Online Dating Profile? - Keen Articles\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/love\/is-it-okay-to-lie-on-your-online-dating-profile#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/love\/is-it-okay-to-lie-on-your-online-dating-profile#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2017\/07\/d1_online-d-tips-thumbnail_V1.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-07-18T00:58:08+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-05-24T20:04:57+00:00\",\"description\":\"When setting up an online dating profile, it may be tempting to lie or exaggerate. 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