{"id":844,"date":"2017-07-15T01:01:40","date_gmt":"2017-07-15T01:01:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.keen.com\/newarticles\/uncategorized\/dangerous-liaisons-5-signs-hes-not-what-he-seems"},"modified":"2021-05-24T20:05:12","modified_gmt":"2021-05-24T20:05:12","slug":"dangerous-liaisons-5-signs-hes-not-what-he-seems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/love\/dangerous-liaisons-5-signs-hes-not-what-he-seems","title":{"rendered":"Dangerous Liaisons: 5 Signs He’s Not What He Seems"},"content":{"rendered":"

\t\t\t\tHave you ever been watching a romantic comedy–like Bridget Jones\u2019s Diary<\/em><\/a> or 27 Dresses<\/em><\/a>–in which the hapless heroine is endlessly pining for and pursuing the wrong guy, when meanwhile, the perfect man is right under her nose, but she doesn\u2019t see him? Don\u2019t you feel like yelling, \u201cJust stop! Daniel isn\u2019t the guy for you! You should be with Mark instead!\u201d<\/p>\n

Or worse, you\u2019re glued to a psychological thriller like George Cukor\u2019s classic film noir Gaslight<\/em><\/a>, in which \u201cPrince Charming\u201d turns out to be a heartless villain who spends most of the movie intentionally driving his wife insane (with the eventual aim of bumping her off once he locates her hidden fortune), and you just want to scream, \u201cGet out! He\u2019s going to kill you!\u201d<\/p>\n

In the world of Hollywood, there\u2019s usually a hero to swoop in and save the damsels in distress from a dire fate, but in real life, it\u2019s not the same. And while the questionable dude you\u2019re dating is more likely a callow jerk than a twisted psycho bent on destruction, love stories don\u2019t always have happy endings.<\/p>\n

Hindsight is 20\/20, especially where Cupid\u2019s concerned, but do you ever wonder if maybe there isn\u2019t a way to find out if a potential lover is all he\u2019s cracked up to be–or just cracked–before you get your heart broken. . . or something worse? While it\u2019s rare for anyone\u2019s radar to be 100 percent accurate when that rush of attraction hits, there are some sure signs that the object of your affection may be hiding something sinister behind that first blush of love. Here are five things to look out for:<\/p>\n

Too Much, Too Soon<\/strong><\/p>\n

While love at first sight is all well and good, in the real world, you should be wary of a man who offers to make an almost immediate commitment. As romantic as the idea of being \u201cswept off your feet\u201d might be, it\u2019s a tactic often used by unscrupulous lovers to ensure that you\u2019re so off-balance, they can step in and take over your life.<\/p>\n

When a man insists that you \u201ctake things to the next level\u201d after you\u2019ve only just met, it\u2019s fine to feel flattered, but don\u2019t be foolish. As attractive as the prospect might be, don\u2019t let yourself be pressured into moving at a pace that makes you feel uncomfortable. And pay careful attention to how your suitor responds if you do ask to take things more slowly. A man who takes any form of \u201cno\u201d as a personal insult or rejection is not someone you want to build a relationship with.<\/p>\n

Cutting You From the Herd<\/strong><\/p>\n

Most experts agree that abusive behavior is rooted in a need for control<\/a>. If you\u2019ve been seeing a man for a while, and he starts to find fault with all your friends and your family, that\u2019s a major red flag that you\u2019re likely in for trouble ahead. The more isolated you are from any form of support system, the easier it will be for him to exercise control over you.<\/p>\n

Controlling men have no conscience in regard to bending the truth to suit their personal agenda. He may start by saying he\u2019s uncomfortable around your mom because he knows she doesn\u2019t like him, then up the ante by adding that if you really loved him, you would take his side over hers. He might even suggest that your best friend has been hitting on him, while nothing could be further from the truth, in an attempt to drive a wedge between the two of you.<\/p>\n

Bottom line: If your partner consistently attempts to make you uncomfortable about spending time with anyone other than himself, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit.<\/p>\n

Do-Re-Me-Me-MEEEEE!<\/strong><\/p>\n

The belief that everything is always someone else\u2019s fault is a pretty telling sign of a narcissistic personality. Men who speak badly of their past lovers, blame them for everything that went wrong in the relationship, and denigrate them as a matter of due course, are usually men who never take responsibility for their own failings.<\/p>\n

Now, in Greek mythology, Narcissus <\/a>was a beautiful youth who became so enamored of his own reflection in a pond, that he fell in and drowned, but if you fast forward to the present day, someone who\u2019s that tied up in themselves will not only be too happy to pull you into the water with them, he\u2019ll use you as a stepping stone to escape his own peril by putting you in harm\u2019s way–and then find a way to blame you for getting his suit dripping wet.<\/p>\n

All the World\u2019s a Stage, Except When it Isn\u2019t<\/strong><\/p>\n

When you\u2019re out in public, he\u2019s attentive, affectionate and demonstrative. He loves to show you off and his behavior could not be more charming, but in private, it\u2019s an entirely different story. If he\u2019s demanding, dismissive, and even demeaning when you\u2019re alone, that\u2019s a clue that you\u2019re dealing with a man who has serious control issues. If he begins to insinuate that you need to shape up or he\u2019ll ship out, or trots out any other form of emotional blackmail<\/a> in an attempt to get you to toe his line, don\u2019t give in. Show him the door.<\/p>\n

Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde? Check, Please!<\/strong><\/p>\n

A man–or woman, for that matter–who is prone to erratic and violent mood swings that are totally inappropriate to the given circumstances is not someone to hitch your romantic wagon to. If one moment you\u2019re having a perfectly delightful time, and the next you innocently mention a topic that triggers an emotional Armageddon and he blows up in your face with an angry, vitriolic diatribe, find a way to extricate yourself from the relationship as quickly as you can, because this type of behavior only escalates.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t delude yourself. You are not going to change him, but he will likely change you by beating down your ego, if not your person, and chipping away at your self-esteem until you are almost as dysfunctional as he is. Read the signs and get out–stop the cycle of bad relationships<\/a>, and be the damsel in distress that saves herself.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re worried that the new man in your life is just too good to be true, a KEEN love advisor<\/a> can help you see the bigger picture and guide you toward the truth.\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have you ever been watching a romantic comedy–like Bridget Jones\u2019s Diary or 27 Dresses–in which the hapless heroine is endlessly pining for and pursuing the wrong guy, when meanwhile, the perfect man is right under her nose, but she doesn\u2019t see him? Don\u2019t you feel like yelling, \u201cJust stop! Daniel isn\u2019t the guy for you! …<\/p>\n

Dangerous Liaisons: 5 Signs He’s Not What He Seems<\/span> Read More \u00bb<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":34,"featured_media":3219,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[455,461,464],"class_list":["post-844","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love","tag-red-flags","tag-relationships","tag-resolutions"],"yoast_head":"\nDangerous Liaisons: 5 Signs He's Not What He Seems - Keen Articles<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Love at first sight is a wonderful, but taking things at face value can put you in danger. A look at troubling signs that point out he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not what he seems.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/love\/dangerous-liaisons-5-signs-hes-not-what-he-seems\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Keen Editorial Staff\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/love\/dangerous-liaisons-5-signs-hes-not-what-he-seems#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"\/articles\/love\/dangerous-liaisons-5-signs-hes-not-what-he-seems\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Keen Editorial Staff\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/#\/schema\/person\/28dd5a9acbd7334178ff47f404955a71\"},\"headline\":\"Dangerous Liaisons: 5 Signs He’s Not What He Seems\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-07-15T01:01:40+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-05-24T20:05:12+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"\/articles\/love\/dangerous-liaisons-5-signs-hes-not-what-he-seems\"},\"wordCount\":1106,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/love\/dangerous-liaisons-5-signs-hes-not-what-he-seems#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2017\/07\/d1_not-what-he-seem-thumbnail_V1-1.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"red flags\",\"relationships\",\"resolutions\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Love\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"\/articles\/love\/dangerous-liaisons-5-signs-hes-not-what-he-seems\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/love\/dangerous-liaisons-5-signs-hes-not-what-he-seems\",\"name\":\"Dangerous Liaisons: 5 Signs He's Not What He Seems - Keen Articles\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/love\/dangerous-liaisons-5-signs-hes-not-what-he-seems#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/love\/dangerous-liaisons-5-signs-hes-not-what-he-seems#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2017\/07\/d1_not-what-he-seem-thumbnail_V1-1.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-07-15T01:01:40+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-05-24T20:05:12+00:00\",\"description\":\"Love at first sight is a wonderful, but taking things at face value can put you in danger. 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