{"id":857,"date":"2016-01-26T22:12:31","date_gmt":"2016-01-26T22:12:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.keen.com\/newarticles\/uncategorized\/is-there-really-such-a-thing-as-a-soul-mate"},"modified":"2022-09-29T20:30:44","modified_gmt":"2022-09-29T20:30:44","slug":"is-there-really-such-a-thing-as-a-soul-mate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/love\/is-there-really-such-a-thing-as-a-soul-mate","title":{"rendered":"Is There Really Such a Thing as a Soul Mate?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Soul<\/a><\/p>\n

There are certain familiar paradigms on the landscape of modern love that can trace their origins back to the earliest days of recorded history. The phenomena of \u201clove at first sight<\/a>\u201d and having a \u201csoul mate\u201d are the stuff of ancient legend. <\/p>\n

In Greek mythology, each person was purportedly half of one larger being, separated at birth by destiny. Life\u2019s quest was to find one\u2019s other half and recombine in order to become a whole entity. While the Greeks may have painted a poetic picture of true love, does it really apply to people now? The probability of anyone believing that each of us is literally \u201cone half\u201d of a single larger human being is slim\u2014however, many of us do like to think we are part of a perfect pair that meshes on every level\u2014spiritual, physical, and emotional. <\/p>\n

Today, whether or not one believes in the concept of having a soul mate depends on one\u2019s definition of the term, so just what is<\/em> a soul mate? Is it someone to whom you are immediately drawn? Is it someone you feel that you absolutely cannot live without? Or, is it someone you can communicate with freely, with whom you feel a deep level of comfort, connection and trust, and that nearly every moment you spend with this person offers happiness and contentment?<\/p>\n

My One and Only<\/strong><\/p>\n

There are several inherent dangers in putting too much credence in the \u201csoul mate\u201d concept, because the idea that there is one, and only<\/em> one \u201cright\u201d person out there for us is fraught with romantic landmines and unrealistic aspirations.<\/p>\n

By thinking that there\u2019s only one perfect pairing for you, you\u2019ve already limited yourself from being open to potential partners who might actually make a great love match, if given the opportunity to grow into a relationship. To dismiss this potential pool of lovers out of hand is to do oneself a great disservice. Those who adhere to a long laundry list of \u201cmust haves\u201d for a mate are setting themselves up for failure, and in so doing, they are also abdicating responsibility for their inability to find Mr. or Ms. Right by refusing to view their own romantic shortcomings through the lens of reality.<\/p>\n

Rather than recognizing and owning up to the folly of a set of rigid standards that can never be attained, they simply blame the world for its inequities. Their rationalization is \u201cthere\u2019s no one out there for me,\u201d when the reality is that there may be plenty of people out there, just not any so-called \u201cperfect\u201d ones.<\/p>\n

What such people do not grasp is that perfection is, for the most part, an illusion. Even in the best relationships there are going to be arguments, misunderstandings, and the occasional contention. By being unwilling to accept anything other than an ideal partner, it releases them from the responsibility of finding a partner at all, and they get to play victim. On the other hand, proactive people who are looking for love understand that flaws and foibles are to be expected, and unless the issues turn out to be major, they don\u2019t have to be deal-breakers.<\/p>\n

Without You, I\u2019m Nothing<\/strong><\/p>\n

Another pitfall on the soul mate track is the problem of relying on someone else to make you complete. In music, harmony can be a glorious combination of intertwining notes that, woven together, create magic. However, if you\u2019re in a duet and have a tin ear and a voice best used for cooling soup, no amount of mastery from the other performer is going to make up for that.  <\/p>\n

There\u2019s an old adage that says, \u201cThe sum is greater than the whole of its parts.\u201d When you\u2019re fortunate enough to make a connection based on an equal, healthy partnership that favors mutual input, nothing could be more true. What each person brings to such a relationship not only enhances the well-being of the other, but is the fuel that helps love thrive and last.<\/p>\n

Conversely, if only one partner is contributing to the equation, the result is often an unhealthy balance of power that can manifest itself in either abuse, dependence\u2014or both. Feeling that you simply \u201ccan\u2019t live without\u201d another person isn\u2019t a sign that you\u2019ve found your soul mate, it\u2019s a red flag that your own self-esteem may be lacking. If you feel you need \u201cfixing\u201d in order to be complete, it\u2019s up to you to take care of that, not your lover.<\/p>\n

Soul Check Mate<\/strong><\/p>\n

Whether or not you believe in having one soul mate, there are certain signs that you are on the right track for making a long-lasting love connection<\/a>. Here are some things to look for:<\/p>\n