{"id":926,"date":"2016-01-21T19:26:47","date_gmt":"2016-01-21T19:26:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.keen.com\/newarticles\/uncategorized\/when-the-holidays-bring-out-family-problems-the-tarot-lights-the-way-to-peace"},"modified":"2021-05-24T20:08:41","modified_gmt":"2021-05-24T20:08:41","slug":"when-the-holidays-bring-out-family-problems-the-tarot-lights-the-way-to-peace","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/tarot\/when-the-holidays-bring-out-family-problems-the-tarot-lights-the-way-to-peace","title":{"rendered":"How to Use the Tarot to Solve Holiday Family Problems"},"content":{"rendered":"<\/p>\n

\"Tarot<\/a><\/p>\n

If our radios are to be believed, December is a month of merriment, generosity, toasty hearths, warm mittens, and gleeful family reunions. While I\u2019m in accord with Bing Crosby and the other seasonal crooners on the wonders of snow and mistletoe, I have to say that carols seem to have a particularly rosy perspective on relatives. Composers ought to know that a table full of parents, aunts, uncles, siblings, and cousins is almost always a taxing affair. Fortunately for those of us who are stressing about family problems this holiday, the Tarot offers insight to better understand the root of family dynamics<\/a> and issues and forge mutual acceptance. \u00a0In my experience, Tarot readings have helped defang many a bloodline\u2019s thorniest conflicts.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Parental Problems Surface for Jen in Idaho<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let me tell you about one of my clients, Jen, a 32-year-old bakery assistant from Boise, Idaho who was especially dreading spending the holidays at her parent\u2019s cabin. Jen stayed in her hometown after high school, skipping college to go directly to working in a local cafe, and eventually worked her way up to the city\u2019s hottest cupcake shop. Every Wednesday she visited her parents for dinner with a carton of her hand-frosted goodies, and until recently, things had felt easygoing. But now, the prospect of spending seven days in a cramped mountainside cabin with her parents, not to mention her two older brothers, was starting to keep her awake at night.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can handle it all, really, except my mom. She\u2019s just the most exasperating person,\u201d she explained. I wasn\u2019t too surprised to hear it. Mother-daughter relationships<\/a> are, in my experience, among the tensest of bonds. I don\u2019t mean tense as in stressful\u2014I mean it in the sense of a knot, a string between generations that is especially sensitive to the emotional states of parent and child alike. Even women who claim to have no relationship with their mother generally hold on to a great deal of emotion towards their estranged parent.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The Tarot Reveals Jen\u2019s True Struggle<\/strong><\/p>\n

I suggested that Jen try a Tarot card reading to illuminate the situation, and though she was new to the deck, she agreed to give it a try. I first drew a card to represent her position in life. Jen\u2019s card was the Eight of Pentacles<\/a>, which depicts a man at his workbench laboring to hammer out eight beautiful gold coins.\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u201cI can see that you\u2019re trying to get ahead in your career right now,\u201d I explained. \u201cIt\u2019s not about how you look to others, it\u2019s not about making cash in the short term, no\u2014your priority is a stable, long-term plan. You\u2019re serious about security now in a way you\u2019ve never been before. I\u2019d be willing to bet that you\u2019ve already made concrete changes to ensure your success. You know there\u2019s a ton of hard work ahead and you\u2019re going to do every bit of it, one step at a time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes!\u201d Jen exclaimed. \u201cI\u2019ve recently applied to a few culinary schools. \u00a0I enjoy working at the bakery, but I want to have my own<\/em> shop one day. I know I\u2019m going to need a business education and some more advanced training, and I can get that in a program. The applications are in, and now I\u2019m waiting to hear back from schools, but I\u2019m still concerned. The tuition is so high, and I don\u2019t know where in the country I\u2019ll end up.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\u201cThat makes a lot of sense,\u201d I agreed. \u201cThis next card is about your mother\u2019s situation right now.\u201d I drew the Nine of Wands<\/a>, which shows an injured young man guarding a set of staves staked in the ground.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes, this card means you\u2019re handling a challenging situation exceptionally well. But that\u2019s not the case here\u2014my interpretation of the Nine of Wands is that your mother is planning to face discomfort and hostility in the future. She\u2019s in a defensive position, because she expects you to make a move that hurts her. She expects it, because she\u2019s seen it before. Did one of your brothers go away to school? If that happened, I bet she had a negative experience and she\u2019s still upset about it,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

Jen thought for a beat. \u201cNot school, exactly, but my oldest brother joined the Peace Corps. He went to Morocco for two years, and he married a woman he met on his tour. They live in Virginia, now. He\u2019s the only member of our family who doesn\u2019t live in Idaho anymore. But I never sensed that my mother was particularly upset about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure she\u2019d say it outright, judging by her card. Her hurt would be more likely to show by trying to subtly control you. Is she passive aggressive or dismissive of your plans?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbsolutely! That\u2019s exactly the problem I\u2019m having\u2014she keeps telling me that I\u2019m not right for culinary school, that it\u2019s too expensive, and suggesting that I just go to school here in town if I absolutely have to. She implies that I\u2019m being a snob by applying to other places, but I just want to go to the highest-ranked program possible. Oh my goodness, my mom does not<\/em> want me to go away,\u201d Jen realized. \u201cBut what do I do about it? I can\u2019t skip out on having a bakery because she\u2019s feeling clingy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStart by acknowledging her fear. You don\u2019t have to live by it, but be compassionate and understanding about her struggle to accept your decision. She might change her mind, once she feels heard. Since she\u2019s in a place of planning and anticipating the future, why not discuss all the ways you can keep in touch, if you do go out of state? \u00a0Does she know about video chatting?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot exactly, my mom still calls Facebook \u201cthe face space\u201d. But I could teach her.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

The Tarot: A Tool for All Families<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m confident that Jen\u2019s reading gave her the clarity to address her tension with her mother head-on. She felt optimistic, too, now that she understood where her mom was coming from and why she was being so pessimistic about culinary school. I\u2019m looking forward to hearing the outcome of Jen\u2019s dialog with her mom, now that she\u2019s feeling much more relaxed about spending a week in a winter wonderland with her family.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The details of Jen\u2019s situation are unique, but family conflicts like hers are universal, particularly this month. The holidays are a time when you might start feeling like a kid again\u2014not because of presents or snowball fights, but because age-old family dynamics spring back to life during a reunion. You may find yourself slipping into old habits and patterns around the people you grew up with, and not all of them are as fun as cookie baking. Fear, shame, and denial can keep even the closest of blood relatives from speaking honestly to one another about their feelings. But the Tarot, impartial and wise, shines right through. If you\u2019re feeling tense and constricted by family conflicts, a reading could be just the thing to break the stalemate and help you accept (and perhaps even enjoy) your family.<\/p>\n

Are family conflicts threatening to ruin your holiday? A Tarot reading from a gifted KEEN advisor<\/a> can help you make peace.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If our radios are to be believed, December is a month of merriment, generosity, toasty hearths, warm mittens, and gleeful family reunions. While I\u2019m in accord with Bing Crosby and the other seasonal crooners on the wonders of snow and mistletoe, I have to say that carols seem to have a particularly rosy perspective on …<\/p>\n

How to Use the Tarot to Solve Holiday Family Problems<\/span> Read More \u00bb<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":34,"featured_media":979,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[186,187,250,565],"class_list":["post-926","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tarot","tag-family","tag-family-problems","tag-holidays","tag-tarot-readings"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Use the Tarot to Solve Holiday Family Problems - Keen Articles<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"No clan is without its family problems. 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