{"id":956,"date":"2017-08-08T18:05:08","date_gmt":"2017-08-08T18:05:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.keen.com\/newarticles\/uncategorized\/are-you-making-first-date-mistakes-the-tarot-reveals-bad-habits"},"modified":"2021-05-24T20:04:34","modified_gmt":"2021-05-24T20:04:34","slug":"are-you-making-first-date-mistakes-the-tarot-reveals-bad-habits","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wordpress.keen.com\/articles\/tarot\/are-you-making-first-date-mistakes-the-tarot-reveals-bad-habits","title":{"rendered":"Are You Making First Date Mistakes? The Tarot Reveals Bad Habits"},"content":{"rendered":"<\/p>\n

\"Tarot<\/a><\/p>\n

When you\u2019re working the dating scene, it\u2019s normal to get rejected more than a few times. But what if you\u2019re missing more than you hit for a reason? Could you be making a subtle, but sabotaging, <\/a>mistake on your first dates? Unfortunately, unlike a restaurant, your date probably won\u2019t be leaving a review. So if you\u2019re consistently landing\u2014and then losing\u2014dates, the Tarot is one way to home in on the issue.<\/p>\n

Dozens of Dates, but No Girlfriend<\/strong><\/p>\n

My client, Aidan, was having this exact problem. He was an early-thirties, MBA-holding financial analyst living in a high-rise condo he owned in Miami. After his six-year relationship ended, he was eager to get back to playing the field, so to speak. Aidan had no trouble asking women out\u2014in fact, he had the confidence and charm to pull off the difficult \u201ccold approach,\u201d where he\u2019d score dates with total strangers. But, with a few exceptions, first dates weren\u2019t turning into second dates. The women that did stick around usually turned out to be poor matches in a matter of weeks.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t get it,\u201d he said. \u2018The women I feel a real connection with don\u2019t want to see me again. But they always seem to be enjoying themselves while we\u2019re out.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

An Intuitive Tarot Reading\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

For Aidan, I instinctively leaned towards an intuitive three-card Tarot reading. He needed more information about the present, not a glimpse into the future. \u201cThe first card will represent your true emotional state,\u201d I explained. Because dating problems are usually a reflection of our inner turmoil, it was imperative first to establish Aidan\u2019s position in the reading.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I drew the Nine of Swords<\/a>, and nearly gasped\u2014this card, sometimes called the Lord of Cruelty, signifies nightmares, haunting memories, and the kind of hidden pain that tightens its grip in the querent\u2019s loneliest hours. As I described it to Aidan, he fell silent. \u201cIs this what you are experiencing?\u201d I asked. \u201cHave you been tormented by the end of your last relationship?\u201d<\/p>\n

He let out a slow breath as if I had just plucked an arrow lodged in his chest. \u201cIt\u2019s been awful since Laura left.\u201d I waited for him to explain more, but he didn\u2019t. He only added, \u201cIt sure feels good to admit that out loud.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sometimes, it is enough to begin the healing process to simply acknowledge pain. I believe this is one of the more subtle, but also most essential, services we psychic readers offer\u2014allowing our clients the space to confront their struggles, on whatever terms they wish. I sensed that Aidan could already feel a considerable burden eased, now that I had witnessed his quiet hurt.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I decided to continue the reading. \u201cThis next card symbolizes what you project to your dates.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

This time, I drew a much cheerier card, the Seven of Cups<\/a>. Typically, this card represents visions of a limitless future. When it arrives in a career spread, it\u2019s a pat on the back: \u201cThe world is your oyster,\u201d it seems to exclaim. But in the present position, I gravitated towards an alternate interpretation.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour dates are noticing a disconnect between your senses of the present and the future, Aidan. You are looking ahead, dreaming about the splendor that may be on the horizon, at the expense of nurturing the moment at hand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes that mean my dates find me distracted?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot necessarily. I think we\u2019ll get more clarity with the last card, which represents the feeling most of your dates are leaving with.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I drew the Nine of Wands<\/a>, which is a card of a defensiveness and anticipating injury. \u201cThis reading suggests that many women are put on edge\u2014only slightly, but just enough to dash your chances at a second date\u2014by your forward-thinking. My intuition says that you\u2019ve been getting a bit carried away whenever a date is going encouragingly, and women can sense that. Tell me honestly: How soon do you start proposing long-term plans?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t do anything creepy, like talk about having kids or getting married on a first date.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure there\u2019s nothing you might be saying about the future that could be disconcerting?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I do like to talk aloud about things we could do together. There was one woman who I promised to take pumpkin picking when the season started.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow many weeks from the first date would that be?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a lot. On an early date, she just wants to get to know you, and when you propose plans more than a few days or weeks out, it sends a message that you\u2019re feeling really strongly about this\u2014or that you\u2019re looking for just anyone to be your girlfriend.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI never thought about it that way. Oh my gosh, I feel so embarrassed now that I invited a different woman to join my family for Christmas in Virginia \u2026\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

What You Don\u2019t Know Can Hurt You<\/strong><\/p>\n

For Aidan, learning that his habit of dreaming big on a first date was perturbing women was a breakthrough. Before he hung up, I helped him understand that his future-oriented outlook was a result of his present discomfort. He decided that maybe he should ease off the dating for a few weeks, to give himself time and space to confront his breakup pain.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Although it\u2019s hard to learn what you\u2019re doing wrong<\/em> on a date, it\u2019s much better to discover early on what habits could be discouraging otherwise great matches than to endure failed date after failed date. Aidan\u2019s issue, focusing on the future instead of embracing the uncertainty of a first date, isn\u2019t uncommon. Other people are foiled by nervous tics, a habit of dominating the conversation, insecurity, or plain old poor hygiene\u2014all very fixable problems! So if you\u2019re consistently finding that your most promising dates aren\u2019t panning out, save yourself some heartache by taking a good look in the mirror.<\/p>\n

Are you having trouble keeping romance around? Advisors at KEEN.com<\/a> can help you discover what positive changes you can make to invite lasting love into your life.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When you\u2019re working the dating scene, it\u2019s normal to get rejected more than a few times. But what if you\u2019re missing more than you hit for a reason? Could you be making a subtle, but sabotaging, mistake on your first dates? Unfortunately, unlike a restaurant, your date probably won\u2019t be leaving a review. So if …<\/p>\n

Are You Making First Date Mistakes? The Tarot Reveals Bad Habits<\/span> Read More \u00bb<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":34,"featured_media":979,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[464,559,565],"class_list":["post-956","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tarot","tag-resolutions","tag-tarot-insights","tag-tarot-readings"],"yoast_head":"\nAre You Making First Date Mistakes? 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