Whether you've been with your man for a long time or the relationship is just starting out, it can be a little nerve-racking when it comes time to close the bedroom door. Sharing pleasure with your partner can be a huge part of any relationship; after all, you want to do it right! So if you're concerned about having what it takes to make your man happy in bed, check out a few simple tips to keep the fires burning.
Know There Is No "Right" or "Wrong" Way to Make Love
Sure, in the movies it's all flowing hair and blowing curtains set to the sexy beat of some slow groove. In real life, pleasure isn't always so tidy. Real sex can be messy, complicated, confusing and humorous. Sometimes, even a little ridiculous! Hair gets pulled, legs get cramps, the kids knock on the door or someone sneezes at an important moment. Making love doesn't need to be perfect in order to be delicious. Find a way to embrace those imperfect moments. They'll be the ones you remember as the best.
Have a Sense of Humor
You're both naked and wriggling around. There's bound to be something funny about the experience once in a while. The freedom to laugh during sex can be quite intimate and arousing. There's never a more vulnerable time than when you're in bed with someone. Laughter can ease even potentially embarrassing moments, so long as you remember to laugh with and not at your man. Gentle teasing can be sexy. Mocking isn't.
Don't Be Afraid to Get Creative
No, you don't have to cover yourself in plastic wrap and greet your man at the door with a rose between your teeth, unless you both find that sexy and appealing. But you can look beyond the standard once-a-week, lights-out, missionary position to discover fun ways to spice up your lovemaking. In the old days, adventurous women had to sneak into adult bookstores to find bedroom toys, but these days there are entire catalogs and websites devoted to selling items for every taste. Lingerie might be a clichÃ©d standby, but there's a reason. Many men find the sight of a woman in stockings and garters incredibly sexy, if your man's one of them, why not consider surprising him (and yourself!) with a new bedroom-only outfit? With the wide selection available today there's something for every body type and style. Likewise, if you've never considered using adult toys, think about purchasing something special to share with your man. On the other hand, creativity doesn't need to be limited to the use of sexy clothes or specialty gadgets. Adding excitement to your bedroom can be as simple as playing a sexy game with your man, watching an erotic film together, or even reading aloud to each other from an erotic novel. Erotic romance novels in which the focus is on the development of a love relationship between the main characters are written largely for a female audience but can easily be shared with your man. Reenacting a scene from your favorite book or movie can be lots of fun, too! Something as simple as lighting a scented candle when you're used to making love in the dark can add a new layer of mystery to the experience. So get creative and open yourself to new experiences. Try something new. You never know, you might like it.
Don't Limit Yourself to the Bed or Even the Bedroom
Sure, it can be difficult enough with family and career requirements to find time and privacy for lovemaking as it is without working to find new places to have sex. Besides, not everyone is turned on by making love in exotic places. You don't have to get busy on your kitchen table (though if you want to, why not go for it?). But what about filling the bath with steamy water and slick, scented oil and sharing a sexy bath together? Washing each other in the shower can lead to more than squeaky clean skin. Cuddling on the couch can lead to kissing that might remind you of those hours-long make-out sessions from high school and that can be exciting too! The bottom line is, you don't have to take risks with public indecency to enjoy making love outside the bedroom.
Instead of worrying about the size of your thighs, focus on the fact that your man is there in bed with you because he wants to be. It's easy to get swept up in self-doubt, but don't let that hold you back. Confidence is very sexy and appealing. If you want to please your man in bed, think about pleasing yourself, too. An aroused, engaged partner is way more exciting to be with than someone who's simply there out of obligation.
Talk to Your Partner
Not sure whether he'd be into a little bit of role-playing? Think he'd really get excited by that cute and sexy outfit you saw on sale? Why not just ask? Communication in a relationship is important and never more so than in the bedroom. If you can't talk to your partner about what turns him on, how will you ever know? More significantly, if you can't talk to your partner about lovemaking, it might be a signal to a more pervasive problem in the relationship than a lack of spark between the sheets.
Some Game Suggestions
- If you and your man enjoy being playful together, an old-fashioned game of strip poker can lead to a night of passion. Strip Scrabble, strip Old Maid and Strip Yahtzee can be fun, too.
- Have a treasure hunt! While your man's out, write up a list of ten or 15 clues on notecards, one leading to the next, and place them around the house where he'll easily find them. At each clue, leave a small present he's to bring along to the ultimate destination – the bedroom, where you're waiting with lit candles, a bottle of your favorite wine and a come-hither grin.
- Each of you make a list of your top five fantasies. Write each fantasy on a notecard and fold them, then put them in a hat. Choose one and agree to act it out!
Pleasing your man in the bedroom doesn't have to be complicated or stressful. Remember to relax, communicate and have fun!