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November 25, 2009

5 Relationship Warning Signs
By Advisor "Cydira"

Couple having problems, looking annoyed with one another with a close-up of a checklist in the background

There are a few signs that indicate you and your significant other should sit down and evaluate where your relationship stands. Watching out for these signs can help you head off a crisis and avoid disaster altogether.

The Warning Signs

  1. Secrecy

    A bit of privacy in a relationship is important. It is healthy to maintain your own separate identity within the relationship, but when you or your significant other begins to hide details and important information from each other, this is a sign that there is a lack of trust.

    Obviously, keeping quiet about a surprise for your sweetheart is entirely different from something like lying about losing your job or how you feel about your partner's family.

  2. Lies & Deception

    One could argue that this is the daughter of the first warning sign. It certainly indicates a lack of respect. Lies and deception clearly do not happen in a healthy relationship.

  3. Dependence & Control

    Rare is the relationship that can function in a healthy fashion where co-dependency exists. Equally rare is the relationship that can function in a healthy fashion when one person is dominating the other. If you find these dynamics are at play, take a step back and look at them.

  4. Fear

    We all experience fear at various times in our lives. When it is persistent, it is important to examine the source and resolve it. Fear should not be a regular part of our relationships. If it is, it could be a sign of a larger problem.

  5. Depression

    If you find that you are feeling depressed within the context of your relationship, it is a definite sign that there is trouble in paradise. While we all have times when we feel sad, anxious or otherwise upset, this should not be a regular occurrence.

Finding any of these warning signs in your relationship indicates a need to look deeper. They may be present because of factors within the relationship. Or they may be present because of long entrenched patterns of behavior that we carry forward with us from past relationships. In either case, it is important to locate the root cause. When you know what is causing the symptom, it becomes easier to treat the problem.

The most frequent problem in relationships is arguably a lack of communication. We can get comfortable with another person and begin to assume that they will just know what we need from them. This is not the case, even if you are psychic. Open communication does wonders for preventing greater problems within the relationship because it allows for all people involved to understand what their positions are on various matters and to act with as much knowledge of the situation as they possibly can.

The second most frequent problem seen in relationships occurs when a person collapses into the relationship and assumes a position of weakness. Men do this just as much as women do, so don't let the stereotype fool you. Collapsing yourself into the relationship will ultimately create resentment and hurt feelings for both partners, especially if it is combined with a lack of communication. Remember, you are emotionally involved with this person because you want to be, not because you need to be. And remember that you are a separate person who is unique and valuable in your own right.

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by Advisor "Cydira"
Cydira is a fifth generation witch who has been reading the tarot cards for over 12
 years. Read more in Cydira's listings.
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