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He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Keen Category: Love Advice

A woman in bed, picking the petals off a gerbera daisy

How does he feel about me? Does he like me? What are the chances of a relationship with him? Let me ask you a couple of questions: How do you feel about you? Do you like yourself? Do you have a relationship with yourself? In other words, do you enjoy spending time with yourself? If you don't, why would anyone else want to?

I often hear those questions and yet in a lot of cases, the person asking them admits that they "need a man / woman." They don't feel complete without another person in their life. Neediness sabotages a budding romance because it feels like desperation. Think about the last time you were around someone who was desperate. How did you feel?

Relationships that begin in desperation rarely last and if they do, more often than not, they are not happy ones. The reason we want a partner is because we think we will feel better with someone to love in our life. However, if the basis for a relationship boils down to "this is not what I want, but it is the best I can get for now," it is doomed from the start.

Neediness focuses attention around what you don't have rather than what you do have. We know that the Law of Attraction brings you more of what you focus on. A good energy shift would be to start a gratitude journal so that you become aware of the positives that you have going for you right now. The movement from neediness to appreciation always starts the flow of abundance.

I know someone who desperately wants a relationship. She constantly daydreams and talks daily about a man that is so obviously a player, and yet she thinks "he could change if he had the right woman." She often asks me to do a reading on how he feels about her. A better reading for her would be based on why she is attracted to "bad boys."

How do you attract the best man or woman for you in your life? Learn to "enJOY" time spent alone. Use it as a time to refresh and grow. Dig deep and look at what went wrong in previous relationships and how those things could be corrected. Learn from your mistakes and become wiser to the signs that the wrong prospective partner sends. Most people will tell you everything you need to know about them right from the start. Someone once told me, "Someday you'll find out that I'm not who you think I am." I didn't believe him, and we divorced 8 painful years later. Now, I believe it if someone tells me they are not good enough for me, and I run in the opposite direction – fast!

Embrace your time as a single person. Keep looking and don't focus so hard on one individual that you miss signals from someone else who could be so right for you. Life should be enjoyed, not agonized over. As you relax and learn to really love yourself, the energy will shift around you and you will begin to attract more suitable, potential partners into your life. Then, with a "buffet" of wonderful people to choose from, your love life will blossom as never before!

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